5- What Is Yours?

from #StoriesAboutSongs · host RedefineHipHop

I don’t know if others have/had this experience, but when I would first leave therapy, I would feel great, with a capital G. There was something soothing about those conversations. I’d have an extra bounce in my step. I’d get in the car, and often feel like improvising/freestyling. It was like I let the bad energy out, and so I would maximize and celebrate before it would eventually seep back in. That’s what this song is trying to capture. While on a lot of the other songs on this album, I’m intentionally trying to sound drained, apprehensive, overwhelmed, uncertain, frustrated, and a range of other emotions, here I wanted to sound confident and in control. I leaned back into that braggadocio energy from the 80s and 90s, but with personal subject matter. A lot of the songs I write are built from improvisation, but then edited and re-recorded. That’s the technique I used for this, but I did something different here. This song has a lot of pauses in the flow because when I’m doing improv, particularly as a writing tool, I don’t pressure myself to be completely steady. If there is a pause for a bar or two so that I can think about what I want to say, that’s fine. Where if I’m improvising outright, that’s the opposite of what I want to do. In those moments, I want to clear my mind of thinking about anything, until I get into a zone where I’m on autopilot, and then I can carefully and quickly zoom in on certain things. It’s like if the car was on auto-drive, but you do a slight adjustment because you see a pothole in the road. To keep that feeling, I left a lot of those pauses. I also am flowing in a somewhat unconventional way, but doing so with this confidence in my flow. It’s about being comfortable being myself. Embracing my difference. This Funkadelic loop is great, and I, like countless others, am a huge fan of their music. As for the loop, this is one that wouldn’t loop naturally with the DDJ-200, so I had to do it manually, taking it back to how I did things in 1986-1988 with the Casio SK-5, hitting a button every 2 seconds. You can clearly hear the imperfections of my timing in the way it’s looped. I was going to go back and fix it, but decided it was perfect for the concept, that sometimes it’s ok to embrace your differences and that you don’t need to hide your flaws, only seek to improve on them. When the beat was looping, before I started “writing” this, I thought about how ill Kurupt would sound on this beat, with Snoop on the hook. Then, when I found that Above The Law scratch hook…it felt like stars aligning, and then Presyce’s cuts are a work of art to close it out. LYRICS: Every step that I take is a step towards my throne I won’t sit there alone, it's not a house or a home In fact it’s a poem, purest thing I’ve known Haven’t know it for long, but I’ve known all along I find peace in a song, love the past, though it’s gone Cause it helped make me strong, and now it’s full grown But Imma leave it alone How much pain can I condone Before the love within me turns into stone? Like Paul Pierre Duvall Reaching out to the crowd, and made time stall And here’s the coup de grace Crystallize the sands of time , and then defy the law Leaving them all in awe, winning by a draw The strangest thing you've ever saw, but that’s just who are Though not always from afar Curiosity attracts, before we’re back to the start But I’ve mastered art Not cause I’m skilled, nor I’m smart Cause I feel from the heart Give my all, not a part Revealing all my scars These are my memoirs I’ve even-ing the odds No needs for applause I’ll proceed with a...pause … One of my so-called flaws Is trying to be rational when emotion seek to alter the course I’m all for the force of nature being the primary source Empathy I endorse that’s a promise, not a chore It’s my natural state of being, what is yours?