50. Part One: Do they really have a personality disorder? ...Why it's time to stop calling abusers "narcissists"

What happens when we hastily label our abusive ex-partners as narcissists? Join me, specialist Australian Separation & Divorce Coach Danielle Black, as I explore the critical differences between narcissistic traits and true personality disorders in abusive relationships. We'll uncover the fact that most abusive male behaviours stem from perceived male entitlement  rather than clinical disorders, and how this understanding can change the way you navigate your own experiences. By delving into concepts like male entitlement, and assessing whether problematic or harmful behaviours are consistent across various relationships, you'll gain a clearer perspective on your situation and avoid the pitfalls of mislabeling.Co-parenting with a potentially "narcissistic" ex, especially when trauma is involved, presents a unique set of challenges. In this episode, we'll look at how trauma and PTSD can sometimes mimic narcissistic behaviours and why it's crucial to distinguish between trauma-driven actions and those stemming from male entitlement and/or personality disorders. You'll also learn that generic strategies marketed towards "divorcing a narcissist", like grey rock communication, may not be effective and may even harm your case. We’ll also dissect the long-term patterns associated with personality disorders, helping you recognise key traits and behaviours that differentiate them from non-disordered abusive partners.   The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen to this song, or download free, by visiting danielleblackcoaching.com.auAbout Danielle Black Coaching:Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.auThis podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.