PODCAST · kids
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
by Danielle Black
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast Hosted by Danielle Black A direct, evidence-based podcast for people navigating all-things separation and divorce, including; post-separation abuse, family violence, parenting, property settlement and the family law system - with a relentless focus on protecting children and building a life beyond separation. Because, the advice your lawyer gives you is only the beginning. Family law tells you what the system can do. This podcast helps you understand what to seek, what to challenge, what to bring into the room - and how to live with the decisions, and move on with your life, afterwards. Danielle Black is a specialist post-separation parenting coach and the founder and principal coach of Danielle Black Coaching. Having navigated her own complex separation, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle and her coaching team specialise in helping protective parents to optimise
Episodes
-
127. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 7: When we stop forcing contact
This is part 7 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the...
-
126. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 6: Encouragement, or coercion?
This is part 6 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the...
-
125. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 5: Whose job is it to "fix" the relationship?
This is part 5 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the...
-
124. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 4: Your barrister is not an oracle
This is part 4 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the...
-
123. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 3: Your nervous system is not an oracle
This is part 3 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the...
-
122. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 2: What the fuck is a "meaningful relationship" anyway?
This is part 2 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the...
-
121. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 1: Why don't they want to go?
This is part 1 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the...
-
120. Is 9/5 the new 50:50? Care arrangements after Australia’s 2024 Family Law changes
Is nine nights/five nights becoming the new default parenting arrangement after Australia’s 2024 family law reforms? Danielle Black examines the rise of 9/5 recommendations in family reports and final outcomes, why mathematical ‘balance’ is not the same as a child-focused assessment, and what...
-
119. Parenting without court orders: More options than you might realise
When parenting arrangements cannot be agreed upon, many protective parents believe they have only two options: give in to what the other parent is demanding or begin family court proceedings. But those are not the only paths available. In this episode, Senior Coach Brigid Morgan shares her lived...
-
118. The Good Girl Contract - part six (finale): What your children actually need from you
This is the final episode in the six-part Good Girl Contract series: Your children are not doomed by what they have experienced (and neither are you). But what happens next matters. In this episode, Danielle speaks directly to protective mothers about the work their children actually need from...
-
117. The Good Girl Contract - part five: The Contract after separation
This is where the lens widens. Parts 1 through 4 focused on the Contract as it operates in the woman herself - her history, her patterns, her practice of interrupting it. Today, Danielle takes on the intergenerational dimension. Because the Contract does not stay contained to a woman's inner…
more -
116. The Good Girl Contract - part four: Interrupting the Contract
Part 4 of The Good Girl Contract series. This is where the series pivots. Parts 1, 2, and 3 were diagnostic in nature - naming the Contract, walking through what happened when we took it into adult intimate relationships, and naming the mirror problem that comes from being trained not to hold our...
-
115. The good girl contract - part three: The mirror
If you have been quietly noticing that you struggle to accept other people's boundaries with you - that their no’s, their unavailability, their limits land in you as evidence of your own worth rather than as data about their life - this episode is naming what that actually is. Part 3 of The Good...
-
114. The good girl contract - part two: The moth and the flame
Their woundedness was a moth to a flame to your overfunctioning. Part 2 of The Good Girl Contract walks through what happened when you took the Contract into your adult intimate relationships. Why the men who found you were not random. Why your nervous system recognised them as home. Why leaving...
-
113. The good girl contract - part one: Where boundaries begin (or don't)
When your childhood taught you that having needs was dangerous - that being pleasing, useful, and indispensable was the difference between love and its withdrawal - the reason boundaries are so hard as an adult is not that you are weak. It is that your nervous system learned exactly what it…
more -
112. Working as intended (Postscript): Do I even need a lawyer? An honest conversation on self-representation
If you have been listening to our Working As Intended series, and you have been quietly wondering "if lawyers were never trained in what my children need, and I have to bring all of that myself, do I even need a lawyer at all?" - this episode is the rest of the answer. Danielle opens with...
-
111. Working as intended - Part 4: How to use your lawyer
If you've been with Danielle across this series, you now know how the family law system in Australia was built, what its practitioners were and were not trained to know, and how to test whether anyone in the post-separation space is genuinely child-focused. This final episode of Working As…
more -
110. Working as intended - Part 3: The standard - How to tell who actually knows what your children need
"Child-focused." Two words that appear on the website of virtually every practitioner in the post-separation space. Every lawyer. Every mediator. Every divorce coach. Every family therapist. Every family report writer. The language is everywhere - and in part 3 of Working As Intended, Danielle...
-
109. Working as intended - Part 2: What an Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL) actually is
Nine hundred and fifty dollars. An online module and a one-day workshop. That's the specialist training that qualifies a family lawyer to represent your child's best interests in court - and that's the starting point for part 2 of Working As Intended. In this episode, Danielle walks through the...
-
108. Working as intended - Part 1: What your lawyer was taught (and what they weren't)
What your family lawyer was taught - and what they weren't. The first of four episodes on the architecture of the Australian family law system. Eleven mandatory areas of study to be admitted as a lawyer in Australia. Family law isn't one of them. The system isn't rigged. It isn't broken. It's...
-
107. When 'parental alienation' is actually coercive control
"Parental alienation" is one of the most weaponised terms in family law. In this episode, Danielle Black takes the term apart, puts something more precise in its place - and explains why the protective parents on the receiving end of those accusations are almost never the ones doing the harm.…
more -
106. Coercive control - What it is, and what it isn't
"Coercive control" has entered the mainstream - and started to lose its precision. This episode brings it back: what coercive control actually is, what it isn't, and why the difference matters for everyone. "I felt trapped in my own life." It's a phrase I hear again and again from clients, it's…
more -
105. The 5 critical mistakes that parents make in early separation
The decisions you make in the early stages of separation can shape your family for years to come. And yet, most parents make critical mistakes during this most vulnerable time - often because they're following well-meaning but misguided advice from friends, family, or even professionals who don't...
-
104. If their name was Brian: family violence in lesbian relationships
There is a phrase I have heard, in various forms, from many of my clients over the years: "If her name was Brian instead of Barb, the recognition and response would have been completely different." That phrase is the whole problem, distilled into one sentence. This solo episode is for two…
more -
103. What Mother's Day actually looks like when you're navigating post-separation abuse - and what to do with it
This Mother's Day episode is for every mother who knows the day might be complicated. For the mothers without orders, whose former partners simply deny contact on Mother's Day. For the mothers who get a few hours - children dropped in the morning, collected later that same day, no unhurried time...
-
102. Everyone has a biggest problem - Why your pain is valid, why staying stuck is a choice, and what it costs both you and your children
In this episode, Danielle unpacks something that comes up constantly in her work with clients: the tendency to invalidate our own pain by comparing it to someone else's. To stay in situations that are harmful - not because we can't leave, but because leaving feels harder than staying. To choose…
more -
101. AI tools for protective parents: Claude.ai, ChatGPT and AI Danielle - the 24/7 digital coach inside the Blueprint
What if you had access to a specialist coaching resource trained in coercive control, the Australian family law system, attachment science, and nervous system regulation - any time of day or night, at no additional cost? In this episode, Danielle Black introduces AI Danielle - the digital…
more -
100. The game is the same - 17 Years, 100 Episodes, and the debut of 'Stronger, Braver, Together'
One hundred episodes. In this milestone episode, Danielle Black does something she has never quite done before - she tells the full truth about where this work came from, what it has cost, and why she hasn't walked away. More than seventeen years ago, Danielle was a young mother with a…
more -
99. Why your family lawyer can't do what you actually need - and what only you can do
Your lawyer is not trying to find the truth. And once you understand why - once you really understand how the adversarial legal system is designed and what it is and isn't built to deliver - everything changes. In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black explores one of the most misunderstood...
-
98. How I did it - Dating after abuse, self-trust, and deciding you're not too broken
Dating after domestic violence, coercive control, or post-separation abuse is one of the most under-discussed topics in the survivor space. Most people are somewhere between terrified and convinced it's simply not possible for them. In this honest, personal episode, Danielle Black shares what...
-
97. Can you find a healthy relationship after abuse? A conversation with my husband - plus the debut of 'Calm is Credible'
Healthy relationships after family violence, and in the midst of post-separation abuse, are possible - but they are rarely talked about honestly in survivor spaces. In this special anniversary episode, Danielle Black is joined by her husband Drew for a candid conversation about what it actually...
-
96. Family reports are not the verdict: What protective parents must know
Family Reports can be influential pieces of evidence in Australian family court proceedings - but they are widely misunderstood. In this episode, Danielle Black explains what Family Report Writers are actually assessing, why protective parents can be misread and mischaracterised, and how nervous...
-
95. The collaboration question: When it works, and when it doesn't
Collaboration is often presented as the gold standard after separation. Parents are encouraged to communicate openly, compromise, and "work together". In the right circumstances, a collaborative approach can indeed produce faster, less adversarial, and more sustainable outcomes. But what happens...
-
94. The invisible architecture of childhood: What primary caregivers carry - and why it matters
International Women’s Day bonus episode In this special episode, Danielle Black explores something rarely named in conversations about parenting after separation: the invisible architecture of childhood. The planning. The anticipating. The emotional holding. The daily mental load of raising...
-
93. Divorce coaching, narcissism & high-conflict separation: Choosing the right support
What does a divorce coach actually do - and how do you know if the support you’re choosing after separation is right for your situation? In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, principal coach Danielle Black unpacks the rapidly growing world of divorce coaching, high-conflict...
-
92. Intrusive thoughts & rumination after separation: When coaching and self-management tools are enough - and when you need therapy
Intrusive thoughts. Rumination. The relentless "what if" loops that keep you awake at night. If you’re a protective parent navigating separation, family court, or post-separation abuse, you are not broken - your brain is responding to chronic stress and uncertainty. But how do you know when...
-
91. Stronger, Braver Together: How safe, professionally held, group spaces change post-separation parenting
In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black is joined by Senior Coaches Brigid Morgan and Trudie Hargrave to explore what meaningful, professionally held group support actually looks like in post-separation parenting work. Many parents navigating separation want connection - but feel cautious...
-
90. Put on your own cape: Rewiring survival patterns, reclaiming worthiness & STEERing your future after separation
If you’ve experienced high-conflict separation, coercive control, other forms of family violence or post-separation abuse, your brain has adapted to help you survive. But survival wiring can make advocacy, decision-making, and communication inside legal and family systems feel overwhelming. In…
more -
89. Meet Senior Coach Brigid Morgan: Protective parenting and post-separation empowerment in Australia
In this episode, Danielle is joined by Senior Coach Brigid Morgan for a warm, honest conversation about post-separation recovery, protective parenting, and why evidence-based, child-focused support matters. We start with a light-hearted chat (morning person or night owl? coffee or tea? beach or...
-
88. Considering separation? Let’s talk about the choice you’re already making
Considering Separation in 2026? Let’s Talk About the Decision You’re Already Making If you’re listening to this episode, chances are the question isn’t “Should I leave?” It’s “Why am I still here - and what is this costing me and my children?” In this episode, I speak directly to parents who are...
-
87. Welcome to 2026: What protective parents need to know (and utilise) this year
2025 was a big year - for families navigating separation, and for the work we do here at Danielle Black Coaching. In this episode, I’m welcoming you into 2026 by reflecting on what we learned in 2025, what’s coming next, and - most importantly - how to use support wisely as a post-separation...
-
86. Information vs Integration - Why consuming content isn’t the same as becoming strategic
It’s easy to listen to podcasts, read posts on socials, and consume information… but none of that automatically turns you into the credible, strategic, protective parent you need to be in a post-separation, coercive-control landscape. In this episode, Danielle explores the critical difference...
-
85. Why being strategic, and well-informed, saves you money in the long run
Most parents assume that family law is financially exhausting because lawyers and court processes are inherently expensive. But that's not the full story. Legal fees explode when parents approach their matter reactively instead of strategically. In this powerful episode, Danielle breaks down the...
-
84. How likely is equal shared parenting time & decision-making?
Is 50/50 shared care or equal shared parental responsibility (decision making) automatic in Australia? No - but it is highly likely if protective parents consent to it out of exhaustion. This episode breaks down the biggest myth in post-separation parenting: that courts routinely “order” equal...
-
83. To the parents who have invested in themselves - this episode is for you
This episode is a heartfelt message to the parents who have joined The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ or invested in coaching - parents who have chosen courage over comfort, strategy over survival, and capacity over chaos. Danielle speaks directly to those who made the decision to invest…
more -
82. When programs, certificates and parenting orders don't equal safety
Do Final Orders mean you're finally safe? Does completing a behaviour change program guarantee transformation? This episode exposes the dangerous myths that leave children unprotected. If you've been told "he's done the program, so things are safe now" or "you have Final Orders, so everything...
-
81. Stop googling 'narcissists' - What Australian protective parents REALLY need to understand
If you’ve ever found yourself deep in Google searches trying to work out whether your ex is a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or something in between… this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Understanding “narcissism” won’t help you protect your children. Understanding...
-
80. Understanding coercive control (Part 2): The 7 patterns directed at children
If Part 1 helped you understand the patterned aspect of coercive control, this episode helps you finally see the harm. In Part 2 of this series, Danielle Black breaks down the 7 child-directed patterns of coercive control - the tactics most family law professionals completely overlook, and the…
more -
79. Understanding coercive control (Part 1): Why most professionals miss it
Why do family lawyers, mediators, report writers and even judges keep missing what might be painfully obvious to you - that this isn’t “high conflict,” it’s coercive control? And why does that mislabel put your children in danger? In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down the core reason the...
-
78: Lead, don’t follow: Evidence over ideology in post-separation parenting
Most protective parents assume their lawyer or mediator understands what their children truly need after separation - developmentally, emotionally, and in terms of safety. But the uncomfortable truth is this: lawyers know the law, not child development. They are not trained in coercive control,...
We're indexing this podcast's transcripts for the first time — this can take a minute or two. We'll show results as soon as they're ready.
No matches for "" in this podcast's transcripts.
No topics indexed yet for this podcast.
Loading reviews...
ABOUT THIS SHOW
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
Hosted by Danielle Black
A direct, evidence-based podcast for people navigating all-things separation and divorce, including; post-separation abuse, family violence, parenting, property settlement and the family law system - with a relentless focus on protecting children and building a life beyond separation. Because, the advice your lawyer gives you is only the beginning. Family law tells you what the system can do. This podcast helps you understand what to seek, what to challenge, what to bring into the room - and how to live with the decisions, and move on with your life, afterwards.
Danielle Black is a specialist post-separation parenting coach and the founder and principal coach of Danielle Black Coaching. Having navigated her own complex separation, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle and her coaching team specialise in helping protective parents to optimise
HOSTED BY
Danielle Black
Loading similar podcasts...
Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast have?
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast currently has 129 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast about?
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast Hosted by Danielle Black A direct, evidence-based podcast for people navigating all-things separation and divorce, including; post-separation abuse, family violence, parenting, property settlement and the family law system - with a relentless focus on protecting...
How often does The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast release new episodes?
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast publishes regularly with 129 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast?
You can listen to The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast?
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast is created and hosted by Danielle Black.
URL copied to clipboard!