Hey, so something worth knowing is a benefit for the nonprofit organization that makes Crash Course and SciShow Complexly. It's September 16th, 2026 in Los Angeles, California at the Wilshire Ebell Theater. Please join us. It's going to be incredible.
Friends have complexity like Mark Rober, Katie Max, Simone Yetch, and more will share inspiring talks about what makes them hopeful and join Hank Green on stage for fun, interactive discussions. Complexly has been creating free educational content like SciShow and PBS Eons and Crash Course in Bizarre Beasts for nearly 15 years and 6 billion views. But this year, we've become a 501c3 nonprofit and we're doing something worth knowing as an in-person event that benefits complexly and or impactful educational media. It's the first ever complexly in-person event, and it's a fundraiser to support our mission of inspiring curiosity and lowering barriers to knowledge building because curiosity builds understanding and understanding builds a better world.
Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at complexly.info slash something. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John! Dora's out for a thing with Dear John and Hank.
It's a comedy podcast about death where my brother and I answer your questions, give you videos, advice, and bring you all the weeks and news for both Mars and AFC Wimbledon and it feels like forever since I last podcasted John, but there's so much news from AFC Wimbledon! So much news from AFC Wimbledon. Hank, I am exhausted because as I speak to you, I have just gotten home from our amazing trip to Wembley. Our dad was there, Rosie Anna was there, Meredith who edits the Wimbly Wombles games that we used to sponsor.
AFC Wimbledon was there. It was an amazing, amazing day at Wembley. 57,000 people in the stadium to watch Plymouth Argyle take on AFC Wimbledon for a spot in the third tier of English football. AFC Wimbledon with the smallest stadium in the fourth tier of English football.
One of the smallest playing budgets. It was just an amazing day. Hank, 22,000 AFC Wimbledon fans were there. They were wearing DFTBA on the back of their shorts at England's National Stadium after a tense scoreless first half.
In the second half, 15 minutes in, Lyle Taylor. That man, Lyle Taylor. The messy for Montserrat. The Montserrat International just got enough of a touch on a cross to send it into the back of the net.
And as the ball like rippled in the back of the net, I thought to myself, he wasn't offside. And the ball is in the net. So that means that Wimbledon have scored. And all around me, everyone was celebrating and I was just thinking, but how is this possible?
How did this happen? Yes, there must be something wrong. I'd done such a good job of explaining to myself over and over again that just getting to Wembley was an incredible accomplishment for this team. It never really crossed my mind that they might win.
And then in the 96th minute, there was an astonishing amount of extra time in the game. Hank, Ottawa and Fenwa scored a penalty to ensure that AFC Wimbledon were going to lead one. They won the game. The team that just not too long ago had like a 5% chance of having a 25% chance of being a third-tier English football team suddenly and unexpectedly has a 100% chance of having a 100% chance of being a third-tier English soccer team.
Hank, we sponsor a third-tier English soccer team. Our community has now watched AFC Wimbledon get promoted. It's their sixth promotion since the club was reformed in 2002. It's just an incredible story.
I'm so grateful to everybody. I went back to Kingsmeno after the game, Hank. And I want to say thanks to the AFC Wimbledon supporters who sang my name. Nothing has ever made me happier.
But I got to also say that all the players went out and hung out with the fans after the game because they understand that it is the fans who own this team. And it was an amazing thing to hang out with the captain Barry Fuller, Audubile Akan Fenwa. It was just amazing. It was just what a crazy day.
I'm so glad that I went. I'm sorry you weren't there. But it was wonderful. And I assume that there is more news from AFC Wimbledon to come later because you just I feel like you just gave all the news from AFC Wimbledon already.
Oh no, no, no. That's just the beginning of the news from AFC Wimbledon. Well, we'll get to that at the end of the... How are you?
I'm sorry. You're just back from tour. How was tour? So it was great.
I am so happy that I did it. We saw so many Dear Hank and John listeners. People were very excited every time I mentioned the podcast on stage. They are big fans of the pod, John.
We got this is a thing. And people love it. And I'm so happy. I'm so happy that you like it.
You people of the world share it with all your friends. I also met many fans of the pod when I was at Wembley. People kept coming up to me and saying they enjoyed the podcast. And it was great.
It was so fun. Thanks to everybody who listens. And thanks to everybody who supports us on Patreon. We don't like to talk about how this podcast is properly sponsored.
But it is sponsored in truth by our viewers. So thanks to all of you. I hope you enjoyed the monthly Google Hangouts that we do. But also we just want to say that we really appreciate you supporting the podcast.
But thanks to everybody who listens. And also you can head over to the Patreon if you want for things like pictures of Tuggle, the cookie jar that turns out Hank did not destroy it. I did not destroy it. Thanks also to Mom for being on the pod.
John, do you have a short poem for us? I do have a short poem Hank. It's Now Let No Charitable Hope by Eleanor Morton Wiley, an American poet from the late 19th, early 20th century. Now Let No Charitable Hope confuse my mind with images of eagle and of antelope.
I am by nature none of these. I was being human born alone. I am being woman hard beset. I lived by squeezing from a stone what little nourishment I get.
In masks outrageous and austere the years go by in single file. But none has merited my fear and none has quite escaped my smile. Eleanor Morton Wiley with Now Let No Charitable Hope. I love that idea that no year has quite merited her fear and none has quite escaped her smile.
There's a little bit of hope in that poem and I'm just feeling very hopeful right now because I have been reminded that occasionally improbable wonders do befall us. All right. Well, thank congratulations on having an improbable wonder befall you, John. Just put that on a t-shirt and it'll be great.
All right. Let's get to some questions from our listeners. Okay. I've got one.
This one is from Riley who asks, Dear Hank and John, I'm a graduate student studying agriculture chemistry and earlier today I was delighted to find out that I got a grant which will allow me to do a study about greenhouse gas emissions from manure. Shortly after I was walking across the quad when a bird defecated right onto my head. According to the internet, a bird pooping on your head is considered good luck. Now I am not generally superstitious but considering the poopy coincidence, can I interpret this as a good omen for my research to come or am I just trying to make the best out of a crappy situation?
Thanks for the question, Riley. Riley, I appreciate your pun. No, it is not good luck to have a bird poop on you in my opinion. Says you?
No, I don't think it's good luck. Well, well, first, I think maybe it's good luck but the bird was just late. Interesting theory. And the good luck was retroactive with regard to the grant that was already given.
But then additionally, I think the pretending like bad things happening to you, bad things that you cannot control and that are not caused by anything but mere coincidence, like just bird poop, it's good to imagine that they're good since they're objectively bad. But you can't avoid them. It's a thing that's going to happen sometimes. Yeah, I guess I just don't want to become too dependent on like looking to the heavens for omens because I think that's a bit of a dangerous business because then you start to see bad ones and that becomes a kind of self-defeating thing.
So I tried to avoid that but I don't always succeed. Also, if you're looking to the heavens for omens like literally, you might get pooped in the eye. Yeah, that's bad. You got to make sure that you keep your head level so that the poop falls on a a more impervious surface.
I got pooped on recently by a bird. I was having coffee and it pooped right on my hand and the hand I was holding my coffee in but not in the coffee. And I felt like that was I felt like that was a nice coincidence that it was just on my hand and not in my coffee. So in summary, our advice in this situation, Riley, is under no circumstances should you ever look at the sky.
You should just assume that it is up there. No, but never look at it because there is a small chance but a very real chance that a bird will poop into your eye and that would be bad luck. Bad luck. Sky poop.
Sky poop is bad. Okay, we have another question. This one comes from Cass who writes, Dear Brothers Green. Good try Cass but no, she writes, Dear John and Hank.
My girlfriend and I have a long debate going and we're going to need you to clear something up. What is the best way to eat an Oreo? I am a fan of dunking it in milk roughly halfway letting it sit for a couple seconds then eating the cookie and when I've had my fill then drinking the milk she thinks that you have to drop the cookie into the cup of milk let it sit at the bottom and drink the milk until you find your soggy Oreo. Okay Cass.
Hank, I think we can agree that neither of these ways is the best way to eat Oreo. I throw my pen on the ground in distaste and we can say what we can say is that there is no wrong way to eat an Oreo unless all Oreos are bad. I don't know maybe they are. They're not great for you.
But I don't think they're like high in vitamin A or anything but I would argue okay there is no wrong way to eat an Oreo. You and your girlfriend should probably stop fighting about this etc etc. But in fact can I tell you the way that I eat an Oreo? Yes please.
What I do is I dip it about halfway in water which is exactly like dipping it in milk but without any of the grossness of milk. Oh! Why are you making that noise? Because I hate you.
Why? That's oh I thought there was no wrong way to eat an Oreo. Okay John. There's no wrong way to eat an Oreo.
Next time you just dip it into some hydrogen sulfide. Geez. There's nothing wrong with dipping your Oreo in water. It gives you all the moisture that milk does without any of the gross milkness.
Okay well what that I'm just gonna have a final say on Oreos here. I'm gonna ignore you completely and say that the wonderful thing about Oreos is that there are many different ways to enjoy them. You can break them open and lick the cream out. You can dunk.
You can not dunk. And all of the ways have their own benefits. And that's the thing that I like about Oreos. And the reason why I don't allow them in my house because I will eat the whole package in one or two days because I have no self control.
Yeah I'm in the same boat actually. I have to be very careful about what I bring into my home because I will get. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
So I have not purchased an Oreo in a decade maybe. But I do eat them whenever I'm at a friend's house and they have them. Yeah I love to dunk a good Oreo in water when I'm at a friend's house as well. Let's ask another question Hank.
This one comes from Tanmay in India who has a fantastic question. She writes Dear John and Hank, I saw Hank's MySpace profile, MySpace.com and I observed that John was not on Hank's top eight. Why is that? This is apparently the episode of Dear Hank and John where Hank stops communicating in traditional English words and only uses sounds.
I'm looking at my, oh here's my top eight. Oh wow I just clicked on something and I saw a human butt dancing. Well welcome to the new MySpace. I'm looking at my top eight right now and these are all real friends of mine.
Yeah your wife's there. Except for that person. Who is that? I don't know who that is.
I remember that person's name but anyway yes my wife is there and a bunch of friends and also the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. So I was more of a friend with a wildlife refuge than I was with you. Well yeah I mean I guess the answer to that question is that back when Hank and I last updated our MySpace's which for me was I think in 2006. Back then we were not as close as we are now.
So I probably wasn't one of Hank's top eight friends. Hank do you remember that song by Molly Lewis about MySpace? Mm-hmm. I hope that you forget about your MySpace.
I hope it slips completely from your mind and I hope it stays up long enough for the next generation to find. Yeah that one. That song has become so hilariously prophetic. We have all forgotten about our MySpace's.
In fact we have lots of young listeners who right now are asking themselves what is a MySpace. A MySpace is what a Facebook was before regular non-college and high school students could access Facebook and MySpace was a huge deal and now has become a sort of strange library of American life in the years 2004 to 2006. Well I mean it's changed so much that it doesn't really look like what it used to look like at all. I have like seven pictures on MySpace.
Four of them are just of me and one of them is of Catherine and there's like three people in MySpace pictures who are not me. That's weird. Yeah I know it has changed a lot but it is it does still serve as a kind of library. I'm actually looking at MySpace now and I must have updated it in 2007 at the latest because it has a copy of Paper Towns on it.
But yeah most of my pictures are there some from My Honeymoon. There's one of Paige Railstone so I guess we used it during the Vlogbrothers era and then there's my first author photo and a picture of me feeding an iguana on My Honeymoon. So it was in that era when I was going on Honeymoon which does seem to be to me in the distant past. All right well I'm now on the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge's MySpace so we're going to have to move on to the next question.
Last we spent the entire episode. Otherwise we're going to fall all the way down a rabbit hole. Yeah I agree. So here is another question.
This one's from Lizzie who asks Dear Hank and John it shouldn't gravy boats be called gravy baths as the gravy is inside of it. I like that we're really focusing on the hard-hitting difficult questions today Hank. We'll get there. We'll get to the same part as John.
I think we'll get to the harder ones. I have strong opinions on this if you don't. I do have a strong opinion but I suspect that your strong opinion is that gravy boat is the wrong word and we should start using gravy bath whereas I actually really like gravy boat. I also I agree with you.
I agree with you because gravy boats are the gravy is the passenger in the gravy boat and it is sailing in the ocean of Thanksgiving dinner. That's right so it is it is a sail on the ship of your dining room table and the gravy is the passenger. The water in this in this metaphor is just the ethereal nature of the feast that you are that you are consuming. It's beautiful Hank.
It's sort of yes things are like other things. You missed your calling by not being a poet. Things are like other things. It's one of the best poems I've ever heard in my entire life.
It's a civilly but it's also a metaphor. It's got a lot going for it. I actually think I might get a things like other things tattoo someday. I have to say that I stole that joke from Twitter and I don't know who tweeted it.
I just saw it on tumblr and the tweet was yes we get it poets. Things are like other things. I'm glad that you acknowledge having stolen that joke which I mean it would have been perfectly plausible to me that two people thought of that same joke but I appreciate your honesty. All right so I feel like you want a more difficult question John.
If you have one. Yeah I have I have real questions here. That's a real question. The gravy boat versus gravy bath issue but I think let's try can we delve deeper into the human experience is my question.
All right yes this question is from Eva who asks Dear Hank and John I have a chronic illness arthritis and I have great meds from my symptoms are under control but I still go to the doctor twice a year to keep track of it. I was 13 when I was diagnosed which meant that my parents came to the doctor with me. So a few days before my appointment this week I was reminding my dad of the visit and my sister was surprised that I wanted him there since I'm 18 now. Is that weird?
Is there an age at when which you should go to the doctor alone? My dad still handles my prescriptions because it's complicated and there's money involved but in addition to that I like having him there he's a smart guy. At which point am I expected to go to the doctor by myself? Well I think it's another thing where adulthood is a process not an event or if there are events in it they sort of only appear to you in retrospect but I definitely don't think you need to stop having your dad go to the doctor with you the day you turn 18 if you find it useful for him to be there.
Yeah I think that it is I think there is a number of large amount of information transfer that continues from parents to children forever and and having that be like creating systems for that to happen is great and your dad has been to the doctor more times than you have and it knows how that works and it's often good to have two sets of ears in a doctor's office so that you remember things more better and if you don't have that then it's always also good to maybe take a piece of paper and a pen or take notes. But yeah I think that there will be a time when you will head out and be doing that sort of thing on your own and getting comfortable with that is part of life. Yeah but there's no there's no particular hurry. No absolutely.
You know I you hear a lot about how adolescence is like being extended and people aren't you know diving headfirst into adulthood the way that they used to or whatever and I think that is a big load of who we have always had a kind of slow process through which adults become adults. It has never been instantaneous it has never been the day of your bar mitzvah or the day you turn 18 or any of that and I think that I totally agree with you that there is this you know transferal between children and their parents that should last as long as it can last because I think it's very useful. Absolutely. That's it at this point I don't think that I'd want my dad going to the doctor with me.
No not unless it was although you know actually it would be bad. It depends on what you're talking about. It was something that like that I hadn't gone through before but dad had. Like you know like our dad had cancer and if I had cancer I might be like hey I wouldn't mind having my dad there since he's been through this before maybe like maybe that would be a useful thing to have.
Alright I think here's another question this one comes from Andrea who asks dear John and Hank I recently graduated from college with my bachelor's in education and I got a job as a lead teacher at a head start center. I love my job my kids and the mission of the program but sometimes I find my family asking when I'm going to get a job at a quote real school. It's true the pay isn't as great as it would be at a public or private school but I'm single and I can afford my lifestyle so far and plus there are more things involved than just money. How can I stay affirmed in my choice of career and tune out those people in my life who don't think of preschool teachers as real teachers?
Well Andrea I have two preschool age children and let me tell you that in my opinion their teachers are real teachers who will have a long impact on their lives and the idea that people who teach five-year-olds or four-year-olds are doing less important work than people who teach six-year-olds strikes me as frankly ludicrous. Yes I agree and I've been thinking a lot about the way that we decide culturally what jobs are valuable and not valuable and by extension what lives are valuable and not valuable and the more I think about it the more it angers me because it seems often like the jobs that we praise the least are the ones that have the most impact on individual people and the ones that we praise the most are the ones that have small impacts on large numbers of people but I think that like the work that we do to care for each other is the most vital and most human work that we do and I think that like but but but figuring out how to like internalize that in a world where you know maybe you're getting signals that that isn't the case is difficult so I just want to say that you are doing great work and internalizing that is a process but the more you do it the better the more you know know that you are doing a great job you are being the best that you can be at the job that the work that you're doing and the people that you care for and the parents of the people that you care for will be the beneficiaries of you being great at what you're doing and you are great and thank you yeah it can be difficult to do that without outside affirmation and unfortunately the main way that people assign value to work is the salary or hourly pay of that work which I totally agree with you Hank is a huge mistake because there are lots of impacts that you can have on people's lives that are not well measured by the free market and especially with someone like Andrea who says that she feels like she's able to afford her lifestyle in the work that she does you know then the work itself needs you know needs to be as valuable to her as possible and I think that taking care of kids and helping them learn and getting them excited about the world around them is incredibly important work all right john I've got another question if you're ready for that I'm ready bring it Madison asks important question here dear Hank and john I've lived my 22.5 years believing that farts are completely harmless this was until my partner called an exceptionally audible and fragrant fart of mine an air poop and it got me thinking how much should I worry about aerosolized fecal matter impacting our health is there a limit I should be aware of or is my partner just absurd I feel ridiculous asking this as I'm a college graduate and I feel as though I should know better well I am not a scientist but I am someone who is deeply afraid of fecal contamination and and even so I do not think you should worry about this quote unquote air poop because in all likelihood you have two layers between you and the air poop you're underwear oh god whatever shorts you are wearing what if you're in the bath well then you have you have a water protected layer that's why I don't take showers you need the water barrier Hank everybody knows that um well uh John I was a question for you yes do you do you think there's ever been a room in human history that contained enough fart to be dangerous probably not I just think that this is a um you know what just occurred to me Hank yeah it's true that we talk about death a lot on this podcast but we might talk about poop more it's possible we haven't talked about death a single time this episode and poop has come up at least twice now I've been thinking about it death I mean but also poop they're not totally unrelated you know that dead bodies can poop great that's great thank you for that I feel that my life has gotten better for knowing that back back in the beginning of the space uh the space program they are worried that humans would create enough hydrogen and methane to sort of increase the likelihood of their being fires in space missions but that turned out to not be too much of a concern you know there are so there are toxic compounds in our poop methane is somewhat toxic but not nearly as toxic as hydrogen sulfide which is also in our poop our parts and in our poop but hydrogen sulfide is very dangerous compound even in very low quantities we can smell it very easily which is why if you smell a fart that smells really rotten eggy that means there's probably a small amount of hydrogen sulfide in there but we don't it would be impossible to have enough hydrogen sulfide in a fart to cause a toxic reaction without you just running as fast as you can away which does make me a little concerned about astronauts because there's nowhere you can run to and they do have to have air scrubbers to purify the air and to sort of always be circulating new air into the into the space station because it can get stinky in there but it would be way more stinky it would be it would be before it got dangerous it would be so stinky that anybody would just would run away anyway but you should you don't have to worry about like the traditional dangers of poop which is the bacteria which are way too large to be aerosolized and now you know and knowing it's half the battle John I'm really proud of myself for having talked this long about poop parts air poop I mean you just you just kept going um you're clearly trying to make this another episode of the podcast where you talk more than I do Madison long story short you have nothing to worry about your partner is totally wrong about air poop let's move on to another question this one is from Alice who writes Dear John and Hank I've been watching vlogbrothers since I was in middle school and I'm now finishing my second year at UC San Diego wow thank you for sticking with us all those years Alice I want to get some dubious advice about decreasing world suck I'm a global health major and I often struggle with how to make an impact when I feel like I'm unequipped to be useful to people in need how do you recommend approaching helping in a way that is respectful and actually useful and also how do you pick one problem in health or in other fields to work on when it seems there are so many ways to improve the world at so many levels and in so many disciplines I think that's a great question Hank and the first thing that I would say and this is a mistake that I feel like many of us make in the rich world that we've been making for a long time when it comes to addressing poverty and global health which is that I think it's incredibly important to listen to listen to what people you know people living in poor communities know much much more about the health problems in their communities than we do and when we come in and try to establish our ideas about health and our solutions a lot of times that becomes either ineffective or counterproductive yeah and John knows a lot more about this sort of thing than I do the other thing I'd say is when you're trying to pick I feel like picking things can be very difficult when you're trying to decide what kind of work you're going to do and you have a lot of options sometimes the best thing is just to pick you're doing good work no matter what and I find that oftentimes it can be a little paralyzing to have too many choices and I solve that problem by not choosing and basically doing a mental dart throw yeah I don't think it's a bad idea actually I also find like multiple choices to be very overwhelming so listen to people around you the problems that they find interesting the problems that they think are solvable and then I think listen to people in the communities you want to help about what they think their biggest problems are and go from there but I'm also I but I do agree that in general it's good to just kind of get started and then you learn as you go along and you go down many wrong paths and you have many wrong directions but at least you're on the path you know absolutely we have another question this is from puck from the Netherlands dear Hank and John my sister just sent me an adorable DFTBA French llama toy thingy but I've only been an urd fighter for about a year so my question is where did this French llama come from I tried looking for the video where you explain it but y'all have made too many videos this is a positive thing I love your videos so can you please explain the story of the llama before me and my sister buy them thank you you are great thanks for giving us an opportunity to talk about our new llama toy but you know how to ensure that your question gets on the podcast our new llama toys available now at dftba.com along with lots of dear Hank and John merchandise and other things active wear bobbleheads lots of stuff lots of stuff this episode is also brought to you by air poop whether it's coming from the butt of a bird and falling into your eyeball because you were looking to the sky for omens or flying out of your butt at maximum speed air poop always there to be good luck maybe I did a really good job with that one John isn't bad today's podcast is also brought to you by water water and unappreciated accompaniment to food that is my guess is additionally brought to you by your top eight on my space check it before you wreck it that's terrible I don't that isn't funny and it didn't make any sense so although I guess if it isn't funny why am I laughing um and and by it I mean your relationship with your brother who is not in your top eight on my there that still isn't funny but I'm still laughing and lastly today's podcast is brought to you by death death it hasn't been mentioned on today's podcast so I thought I should squeeze it in here this episode of your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify there are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me and that is what Shopify makes easier when you start with Shopify the tools to design and launch and take payments they're all there from day one you don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business and this is important because you also have to like look good and with Shopify's templates you can get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together and when things look real that works on my brain to be like I'm doing a real thing it also works on other people's brains to be like this is legitimate Shopify also has one of the best checkout systems on the internet it's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks returning customers can check out with a single click that means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody that stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing you're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work you're not wondering whether customers can get through the process Shopify handles that foundation so you could focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do it's really kind of amazing to me the Shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftba.com or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark when you build a Shopify you're building with tools that already work at every scale all you need is the idea Shopify handles the rest you can start your free trial at Shopify.com slash deerhank start your free truck Shopify.com slash deerhank with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details one thing I love about summary is how easy everything feels the days are a little more relaxed my kids don't have to wake up at five in the morning and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again which is why I keep coming back to quince I often wear either a long sleeve or a short sleeve button down from quince and it fits well and I never have any complaints in fact sometimes I get compliments about it I was at the airport a couple days ago I often find myself in airports and someone said I like your shirt and I said thanks it's from quince quince is 100% European linen pants and shirts are breathable easy to throw on in the summer upgrade your rotation needs starting at just 34 dollars their tees are soft enough to live in all day and the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when those summer nights cool down so that's why I'm wearing quince this summer and you can make your summer wardrobe easier by going to quince.com slash deerhank for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too that's qunce.com slash deerhank for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash deerhank. you can get creamy lemon pepper chicken with veggie rice peel off broccoli and carrots this has the fiber I need it has the protein I need it has the deliciousness I need what about garlic herb roasted barramundi with potato zucchini and burr blanc sauce I don't really know what that means but it sounds delicious what about a black bean taco bowl with corn salsa and cilantro crema a delicious high-fiber high protein meal that no animals had to die for any of those can be ready in two minutes fresh never frozen over 100 rotating weekly meals including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian factor shops perhaps cooks and delivers straight to your door so you have more time for everything you love this spring head to factor meals dot com slash deerhank 50 off and use the code deerhank 50 off to get 50 off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only wild supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details here yes death of course do we want to get back to the lama question because we got a little distracted yes so the story of French the lama I it's so complicated that I can't even really tell it maybe I can tell it but I don't really remember it it was invented by christen who was a long time nerdfighter during the project for awesome in either 2007 or 2008 and basically it is an exclamation of joy like French the llama a fc Wimbledon or a third tier english football team would be an example of how to use French the llama and over the years I have been trying to make it into a thing like making it into an expression that lots of people use the way that the character that one character did with fetch in the movie mean girls and just like fetch it hasn't happened yet but I still believe that it might happen still working on it yeah a problem with friends the llama is that it's internet shortening f t l already has several different meanings including for the lose which is the opposite of for the win and faster than light which is more of a science fiction abbreviation than a internet one but but I am supportive of John's quest even if I don't personally share it hmm I appreciate that so yeah you can go to dftb.com get lots of good things including those llama toys if you are interested Hank let's answer a couple more questions before we get to the all important news from mars and a fc Wimbledon this question comes from kate who writes dear john and hank my mother is interesting I love to follow the rules like one day about two years ago we were on a vacation up in the mountains of north carolina and we came across an abandoned theme park of dorothy and the wizard of azz there was a fence around it and on the gate a no trespassing sign so of course I wanted to follow this but my mother insisted we break in and see what it was like it ended up being a very fond memory my question is do you think it was wrong that we broke in I still feel guilty over it but the gate wasn't even locked and other people were wandering around the abandoned park Hank what do you think on this one I am delighted that that this is this is the interaction that the mother is like let's break some rules and the child is like we must follow the rules it used to be the opposite I feel like I I think that it's fine to break the rules sometimes especially if the gate isn't locked maybe you're putting up the no trespassing sign purely as a way to you know eliminate any liability to say we said don't go in and they went in and then they got hit by a thing that fell out of a tree but bird poop may have just been bird poop very dangerous bird poop I it is if it gets in your eye I think it's great I it sounds fun to me I did just recently you know enter a no trespassing area for for the purposes of urban exploring myself and I know that you have done that as well John yeah where did you go it was not so much urban exploring as as abandoned office park in the desert exploring it's called the domes in Arizona and it was this this incompleted like a weird office building that some tech company tried to create but then it never got moved into and now it's just these weird space like structures that are very cool and off the highway and I really enjoyed visiting them you can see a little bit of it in my second to most recent vlog for the studio yeah I also enjoy urban exploring although I am somewhat troubled by the ethics of it and tried to remain on the right side of the ethics of it whenever possible I did break into an abandoned theme park in Germany once and it was awesome oh it's so great it wasn't really breaking in it was a similar situation where I just opened an unlocked gate but it was very very cool and I ended up making the 999th vlog brothers video there so we're probably the wrong people to consult on this particular topic because we're probably more like your mom but in any case I just don't think that you should feel guilty about it I think you've just got to let it go and enjoy the fond part of the memories and then you know the next time you have a chance to break into an abandoned theme park you'll have to make that decision anew yeah I don't know like John and I have I think different perspectives on rule breaking I generally tend to think it's okay as long as you're not hurting anybody or yourself well I mean I like I like rules yeah there's a certain like like societal structure that giving sanctity to the rules yeah yeah and and and that is a sort of greater good yeah and that's sort of John I feel like that's your perspective yeah yeah yeah I'm in favor of preserving the rule of law and I think paying attention to the rules does that even when the rules are maybe not the best rules that said there are obviously rules that need to change and you know civil disobedience breaking those rules on purpose is a very important strategy for changing them so I don't want to you know do away with all rule breaking I just think in general I do I am very fond of structure and order yes says says the person who is benefited greatly from the current structure and order no admittedly but I was more thinking about just like personally like people with people with OCD tend to have or create very structured lives I wasn't thinking about like the larger systems of structure which are in many cases profoundly unjust and I do try to be aware of that let's get to one more question all right this one's from Phil who asks dear Hank and John about a year ago I opened my kitchen drawer to take out the can opener and open a can of soup but when I held it in my hand to open the can it felt all wrong I looked at it questioningly and while it superficially looked like the same can opener there were elements of it that I didn't recognize the handle was slightly the wrong shape the weight was a couple of ounces off and it was more stiff to use I mentioned this to my wife and she maintains that it is the same can opener we've always had I love my wife and I trust her not to lie to me about the existential state of our kitchen implements but is it more likely that she bought a new can opener and didn't tell me or that I am now not residing in the same universe as the can opener I have used for much of my adult life how can I tell Phil Phil I'm going to tell you the gods honest truth about this you have to let it go if you don't let it go it will take over your life it will become the consuming question of your life and on your deathbed you will look up at whomever you are dying in the presence of which will likely not be your wife because she will have left you because this thing is going to become so consuming in your life and you will say it wasn't the same can opener and then you will be just as dead as you would always have been is it possible that you live in a multiverse that was like twisted around this one particular can opener yes is it likely yes but you have to let it go or it's going to consume you oh man I just I want to know what relationship Phil has with his wife that he's like but you were lying to me about the can opener why would she lie I trust my spouse but she has been known to lie about replacing kitchen implements I do trust her very much but I I think someone broken to your house and swapped out can opener yeah I think it's totally possible that that's maybe what you should just decide happen just for your own just for your own ability to navigate the universe as if it were a static thing you need to decide that somebody broken to your house switched out the can opener to freak you out and that's the way it went down I had a related thing happen to me one tank where I went out into the parking lot of my apartment building in Chicago and my car wasn't there and so I called the police as you do when your car has been stolen and the police called me back and they said your car is half a block away you just forgot where you left this happens all the time and I was like no no I didn't I parked in the parking lot I am quite positive there's no reason why I wouldn't have parked in the parking lot but there indeed was my car half a block away and I have well obviously I haven't let it go but I've been trying to let it go for the last 15 years because the other possibilities are all unacceptable I'm gonna tell you just a little story before we get to the news from Mars and I was related I once had my bike stolen and I was frustrated and you know I got a new bike and just dealt with it and I didn't even call the cops because it wasn't a nice bike or anything and then later downtown I saw my bike uh locked to a bike rack with my lock wow and I unlocked it using my code and biked it away because indeed my bike had not been stolen I had just forgotten that I left it or or that is the moment that you disconnected from the universe that you had always known up until that moment one of those two things happened possibly one of those two things happened before we get any further down this rabbit hole I'm gonna need to move on to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon heck what is the news from Mars well John as you may remember back in early days of the podcast we tried to figure out how much it would cost to get AFC Wimbledon and the competing team let's just say Stephenage two Mars so just kidding we don't play Stephenage next season all right then one of the other sports teams two Mars to play a game on the surface of Mars now taking out of consideration the fact that you would need to build an airtight stadium and food and everything we did some calculations try to figure it out we no longer have to do those calculations John because SpaceX has just released a deal a term sheet basically just a cost like basically like just like just a you know a list of costs that tell you how much it costs to send things to places and you can send things to Mars for as little as 62 million dollars all you have to do is give 62 million dollars to SpaceX and they can send up to 8,860 pounds of stuff to Mars if you want to send up to 29,000 pounds of stuff to Mars that will only cost you 90 million dollars the bargain bargain rate that that requires the Falcon Heavy rocket instead of the Falcon 9 rocket and yeah so I think with 29,000 pounds 30 tons of stuff we could definitely get two flip all teams to Mars and that's a mere 90 million dollars John that's all well it's very rare that I get to correct you about something but 29,000 pounds is not 30 tons oh yeah you're right it's true though we could get two teams with 14,000 with with 14.5 tons I'm pretty sure that we could get two teams to Mars unless they were all composed of Autovial Akinfenwa that unfortunately would be impossible yes the craziest moment of the league two playoff final was Akinfenwa came on in about the 75th minute he just causes so many problems for teams that are trying to figure out how to defend him and there was this crazy moment right at the beginning of stoppage time where Akinfenwa was just standing still and some and he was about to the ball was passed to him and so someone ran toward him in an attempt to win the ball they ran into Akinfenwa and they were knocked unconscious oh my god Akinfenwa didn't do anything like he just all he did was stand and he was called for a foul and he was like what did I do and then he looked down and he was like oh well that's unfortunate but all I did was stand um and like a stretcher had to come on and stretcher off this poor soul from Plymouth who'd made the terrible mistake of running into a space currently occupied by Autovial Akinfenwa um it was just it was an amazing moment and it brings me to the news from AFC Wimbledon very very sad news Hank there's the immensely good news that Wimbledon in a stunning turn of events are going from having the smallest stadium in league two to having the smallest stadium in league one but along the way three players have been released by AFC Wimbledon and this is a weird thing that happens in football in fact like in the uh in the interview immediately after the game uh Autovial Akinfenwa hilariously and beautifully said I'm going to be released tomorrow so any managers who are interested in my services please hit me up on WhatsApp um he's amazing uh he hugged the manager Neil Ardeley and said can you believe this guy is releasing me um but it's true AFC Wimbledon will be playing in the third tier without the services of Autovial Akinfenwa um Calum Kennedy who's been immense uh for Wimbledon was also um was also released uh which is the difficult you know it's a difficult thing it happens after every season I guess but um it just makes me uh make you know it's it's it's sad in the wake of something like this that said also Sean Rig has been released as well that said you know they do this as quickly after the end of the season as possible to give those people hopefully plenty of time to find jobs and I know that I will follow uh all three of those players but especially Akinfenwa wherever they go from here because they've just been such an important part of this amazing AFC Wimbledon season and an Akinfenfenwa case I mean really uh you know I don't think that Wimbledon would have been promoted without him so he's an amazing player but uh he's moving on to other opportunities why did they release him I don't understand how well because he is he's mostly played as a substitute and I think you know he's at a point in his career where he wants to be playing for for full games and uh you know Lyle Taylor and Tom Elliott are have just been you know sort of preferred by the manager over the last uh season and a half so I think you know it's probably the right thing for him as well but it's just it's inherently difficult um it's just part of it's part of soccer I guess but I mean that guy is going to be a legend at Wimbledon for as long as people are singing songs at AFC Wimbledon they'll be singing about Akinfenwa so uh that's the news but the good news is that uh we are not playing Stevenage next season instead we're playing teams like Bolton Wanderers, Swindon Town and of course most astonishingly the franchise currently playing in Wilton Keenshank uh the team that uh that moved to Milton Keens uh will be playing AFC Wimbledon they'll be in the same league next season which I think says everything that needs to be said about whether it was in the wider interests of football to have a team in Wimbledon the English FA in 2002 said that it wasn't uh in 2017 I think we will be able to agree that it was all right Jon we have a couple of quick comments from people many people had comments about floppy disks Sophie said that her dad works at a newspaper when the FBI gives them uh data they give it to them on floppy disks and Jenna also works at a law from a New Zealand and says that business people sometimes prefer floppy disks because they're less likely to get malware on them and Martino as a brother who once showed a middle school middle school students a floppy disk and they thought that he had 3d printed a save icon also Alex writes dear Jon and Hank my name is Ryan in the most recent podcast I said this episode is brought to you by floppy disks you may want to know that your 54.69 megabyte podcast would be brought to you by 38 3.5 inch floppy disks oh man I remember those days when you used to have to have like seven floppy disks to play one one game of Kings Quest or whatever I remembered as well uh thank you for uh for joining me on this podcast Jon what have we learned today well we learned never to look at the sky no matter what the circumstances we learned that gravy boats sail on the ocean of your dining room table we learned to delete your old social media profiles quickly before you forget the password and we learned that pre-school teachers are awesome we already knew that but I guess we re-learned it all right thank you everybody for listening to this episode of your Anken John it's a pleasure as always to have you listening to our dumb voices if you want to support our podcast again you can go to patreon.com slash dear Hank and Jon you can also find lots of cool stuff there i think we're gonna put Molly Lewis's song about my space up there as well as links to our my space profiles so that you can live what our lives were like back in 2006 this podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins our intern is Claudia Morales we get lots of help with questions from Rosie Anna Hoss Rohan's our theme music is by Gunnarola and as we say in our hometown don't forget to be awesome