51: Core Erotic Themes Fantasy & BDSM with Harmony

This episode contains explicit and sexual content/language. It may not be suitable for all audiences or ages.This episode is about the juicy creativity of life: sex! Harmony, the founder of Kink From the Couch — a Somatica® counseling practice based in San Francisco, and I explore:Ritual in relationshipsBDSM as the “New Romance”Her experiences as a professional dominant and Somatica PractitionerDominance and submissionAcceptance around “unacceptable” for oneself / Releasing shame around fantasiesTouching into core desire in your erotic themesSeamless verbal and nonverbal consent and the #MeToo movementShadow and archetype in sexualityEmbodying fantasiesThe Somatica Method recognizes that we learn primarily through our bodies. Using a combination of talk therapy and experiential exercises, Harmony leads clients to embrace their full sexual selves without shame. Under her guidance you will find your own erotic embodiment, while developing your negotiation and practical BDSM skills, and other vital practices needed to bring healthy kink into your relationships.Harmony’s path to becoming a sex counselor took her through many vibrant Bay Area communities, including tantra, orgasmic meditation, the human potential movement, and NLP. She was an independent professional dominant for a decade. She developed her D/s skills at Cleo Dubois’ Academy of SM Arts and studied bondage with Midori. From 2009–11, she wrote educational articles about BDSM as the editor for the Society of Janus, the Bay Area’s oldest kink non-profit. Her current practice synthesizes all the wisdom she’s gained along that winding road.Links, Article, and ResourcesAll Show Notes for This Episode📝https://candicewu.com/harmony
Podcast Homepage🎧 https://candicewu.com/podcastNewsletter & Embody Community💌 https://candicewu.com/embody-communityPatreon – Your Support Means So Much!💝 https://candicewu.com/patreonCandice Wu Page on Facebook👫 https://facebook.com/EmbodyYourNatureFollow Candice on Instagram📷 https://instagram.com/EmbodyYourNature Sponsored by The Sound Sleep AlbumDo you wish for better sleep for the holidays?This episode is brought to you by the Sound Sleep Alchemy Album. An album of 11 healing experientials and meditations, yoga poses, marma points, and spiritual guide that will help you feel more grounded, restful, and easeful in your sleep and throughout the day.It is the stepping stone towards healing trauma, feeling embodied, bringing your nervous system to a baseline where you feel relaxed and calm, and looking at the deeper aspects of sleep issues.Your support by ordering an album helps me make more healing albums, content, and produce more podcast episodes.The Sound Sleep Album is on sale through the new year for $11 (until 2019–01–05).Thank you for your support!Learn more at candicewu.com/soundsleep  Show Notes & Timestamps  0:00 Intro1:11 Sponsored by the Sound Sleep Album2:17 Opening4:07 December 17th6:15 Conversation Start7:09 Harmony’s Journey of Being a Pro-Domme to Kink from the Couch8:02 How Did You Know You Found Your Calling?9:25 Listening to Clients’ Fantasies10:41 How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Fantasies12:08 Core Desire — Having What You Want Is a Big Step14:36 What Have You Learned About Yourself Through Fantasy?18:19 Her Experience as a Dominatrix | Awareness Good for Life18:19 Yes, Yes, and Yes… Empowering, Challenging, Healing20:06 What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do…21:39 Don’t Be Afraid to Go Slow21:39 Moments of Up, Up, Up, and Savor23:08 Dominance in Other Areas (Horses)23:42 Step Into Your Dominant Self25:45 Dominance Can Have Connotations / Design It for Yourself27:39 Shadow Aspects of Harmony’s Work and Experiences28:26 Shadow Stuff Coming Out29:54 The Power of Creating a Safe Container30:40 Feeling in Control in One Part of Life Gives You the Ability to Give Up Control in Others32:47 Submissive Role Can Give a Pause on Controlling Things in Life33:26 Alive Right Now | #Metoo and Consent36:47 Non-Verbal Consent Techniques37:32 Practicing Boundaries & Revisiting Them (Not Scared to Touch the Boundaries)39:12 Somatica FAQ39:40 Consent and Negotiations41:11 Working With Sexual Archetypes42:20 Archetype Gives Space for Authenticity in the Role44:41 How Is Touch Incorporated in Somatica?48:03 Learnings From Somatica for Harmony48:40 Audience Gift : Exploring Core Erotic Themes50:27 How External Input Can Change Your View on a Fantasy52:21 A Story About Fantasies Showing a Piece of Yourself55:57 Fantasy Going Against Your Beliefs (Cock-Sucking = Not Feminist?)56:52 Submissive Is Not About Being Weak but Proving to Yourself That You Are Strong58:33 Knowing Fantasies Brings Conscious Solutions Rather Than Destructive in Relationships59:11 Story About Cock-Sucking & Foot Fetish1:00:24 Creating Fantasies Intentionally So They Aren’t Destructive but Pleasurable1:02:00 Acceptance Around Unacceptable for Oneself1:02:49 Pleasure in the Poignancy of the Pain1:03:52 Some of the Moments I Felt Most Alive Have Been in BDSM Contacts With Extreme Pain1:04:16 When Did I Last Check in With My Fantasies?1:06:38 Where Can People Find Harmony?1:07:13 Outro1:10:15 Embody Community & Newsletter