51: Forgiving Yourself is Possible

Welcome to the Love How Deep Podcast.  

Brian and Heather Mayer provide resources from the power of God's Word, experts in the relationship field, and from their own experiences to help you strengthen your relationship.  

Today we discuss how to forgive yourself which is often more difficult than forgiving others.  

Before we dive in, don't forget to pick our Forgiveness Conversation Starter, which is a free resource to start to bring healing where it is needed in your marriage relationship.  

Summary:  

Heather and Brian Mayer discuss the importance of self-forgiveness in their podcast episode 51. They emphasize that people often find it harder to forgive themselves than others, leading to self-punishment and bitterness. They share personal experiences of guilt and shame from past mistakes, such as not being a spiritual leader in their first marriages. They highlight the process of forgiveness as a daily decision and the need to acknowledge wrongs, seek help, and understand God's forgiveness. They also stress the impact of unforgiveness on relationships and personal well-being, suggesting scriptures and affirmations to combat negative self-talk. The episode concludes with a prayer for listeners to learn the power of self-forgiveness.

Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness Introduction

Heather Mayer introduces the podcast and the episode number, expressing excitement about the topic.

Brian Mayer and Heather Mayer discuss the significance of the episode number, 51.

Heather Mayer introduces the topic of forgiveness, focusing on self-forgiveness rather than forgiving others.

Brian Mayer agrees, noting that most people find it harder to forgive themselves than others.

Challenges of Self-Forgiveness

Heather Mayer and Brian Mayer discuss the difficulty of forgiving oneself, highlighting the tendency to beat oneself up over past mistakes.

Brian Mayer shares his experience of guilt and shame from his first marriage, particularly his lack of spiritual leadership.

Heather Mayer talks about her struggles as a stepmother and the unforgiveness she felt towards herself and others.

Both hosts emphasize the importance of understanding that God forgives them and that they should do the same for themselves.

The Process of Forgiveness

Heather Mayer and Brian Mayer discuss the process of forgiveness, noting that it is not an easy task.

Heather Mayer explains the concept of "the loop" where past mistakes are constantly replayed in the mind.

Brian Mayer shares his strategy of recognizing the inner critic as either Satan or another voice, and countering it with positive affirmations.

Both hosts stress the importance of not letting past mistakes define one's identity and self-worth.

Impact of Unforgiveness on Relationships

Heather Mayer and Brian Mayer discuss how unforgiveness towards oneself can affect relationships with others.

Heather Mayer shares how her unforgiveness towards herself affected her relationship with her stepdaughter and husband.

Brian Mayer uses the analogy of an orange to explain how emotions and actions are influenced by what is inside.

Both hosts emphasize the importance of addressing and resolving unforgiveness to improve relationships and personal well-being.

Steps to Forgive Oneself

Brian Mayer suggests acknowledging the wrong and talking about it with a trusted person as a first step towards forgiveness.

Heather Mayer highlights the importance of seeking help from a counselor or someone who can provide a fresh perspective.

Both hosts discuss the role of understanding how Jesus forgives us and applying that understanding to ourselves.

Heather Mayer emphasizes the importance of reminding oneself of who they are in Christ and the positive attributes God sees in them.

Daily Practice of Forgiveness

Heather Mayer and Brian Mayer discuss the daily practice of forgiveness, both towards others and oneself.

Heather Mayer suggests using affirmations and scriptures to combat negative thoughts and reinforce positive self-image.

Brian Mayer emphasizes the importance of making a decision to forgive and turning away from past mistakes.

Both hosts agree that forgiveness is a process that requires daily effort and commitment.