54| Ashlee Mum of 4! 4 different fertility journey's, IVF, birth stories, HG, recoveries, laparoscopies, endometriosis, ulcerative colitis, post partum anxiety, intrusive thoughts, isolation, therapy, stay at home mum, hardest transitions, reflective compassion for first time mum worries,sleep deprivation, colic, intolerances, relaxing into motherhood, complex decisions to take embryo's off ice, studying, letting go of mothering perfection, thriving as a big family

Ep 54 is the widest chat yet, and we loved every minute of it. Join Chloe, Clare and Ashlee for a big, honest, funny (quite a few giggles!) and deeply heartfelt conversation that covers so many topics! Ashlee is a Mum of four, aged 35 (currently studying this year!) and has been with her husband since she was 17. She opens up about her full fertility journey, with each child conceived differently; natural conception, Clomid, IUI and IVF, all delivered with Dr Drew Moffrey from the Gold Coast. We talk through her birth stories, including two emergency and two planned C-sections, an attempted VBAC, and the realities of post-birth recovery. Ashlee shares her experience living with chronic illness, including late-discovered endometriosis with bowel involvement, multiple laparoscopies, ulcerative colitis, and hyperemesis gravidarum, aka extreme! pregnancy sickness. She speaks honestly about the toll it takes and how she managed it alongside Motherhood. We also dive into post-partum anxiety, extreme intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, the scenarios our brain can play out to us, and the role therapy played in her healing. Ashlee reflects on becoming a Mum for the first time, being the first in her friend group, the intense anxiety she did not recognise until later, and how she struggled to ever leave her babies, even with her husband. Add extreme sleep deprivation and a so-called “colic baby” (later discovered to have intolerances) and it is no wonder that transition from zero to one felt like the hardest of all. One of the most emotional parts of the episode is Ashlee sharing the incredibly nuanced and difficult decision to take frozen embryos out of storage, or as we lovingly call it, snow sleep. It’s a conversation filled with compassion and honesty that so many women will resonate with. Now feeling like much more of a relaxed Mum, Ashlee looks back wishing she could give her first-time mum self a big hug. She speaks about how much she loves her big, fun family, being a stay at home Mum for several years now, and how the journey has brought her and her husband even closer. This episode is a reminder that there is no such thing as perfect mothering.. nor should we pressure outselves to do it all! The sheets do not need washing every week, and if you end up cuddled in bed watching a Disney movie because your baby is not tired at 8pm, that is more than okay. Women feeling seen and heard is what this chat is all about. We loved this conversation. Ps, Ashlee you have been through so much, a warrior and amazing woman, lovingly supporting your big beautiful family! Love the Patty’s Xx