54: The ADHD Field Guide for Adults: Grief, Identity Shifts, and Radical Self-Acceptance

Featuring: Cate Osborn & Eric Gude, authors of The ADHD Field Guide for AdultsWhat happens when you finally get the thing you’ve worked toward for years before you suddenly realize you can’t sustain it? This conversation explores the grief, identity shifts, and radical self-honesty at the heart of the ADHD experience.In this episode, we explore:The Tower Moment: Cate’s 2018 medical crisis and late ADHD diagnosis reframed her entire life, while Eric’s teenage realization that effort alone couldn’t override his brain shattered his “mind over matter” narrative.The Identity Grief Spiral: From Shakespeare professor dreams to professional sourdough baker pivots, we unpack the heartbreak of loving something deeply — and still having to let it go.The Field Guide Framework: Their book is designed as a non-linear, shame-free resource that teaches readers how to name their wants, needs, strengths, and limits instead of prescribing one-size-fits-all solutions.Protecting Your Peace: We talk about radical patience — with yourself, with neurotypicals, and with the parts of you that are still learning — plus the power of asking directly for what you want without apology.The Very Human Stuff: Wednesday Addams airport pickups, Renaissance festivals, ungraded papers from 10 years ago, sourdough at 3am, touching grass and trees to regulate, and the fear of liking something too much.Key Questions Answered in the Audio: Why does life with ADHD feel like an ongoing cycle of grief and reinvention? How do you tell the difference between “this is hard” and “this isn’t for me”? What does it actually mean to be a fearless student of your own brain?Resources Mentioned: The ADHD Field Guide for Adults by Cate Osborn & Eric GudeWebsite: Catieosaurus.com + national tour info @Catieosaurus & @HeyGude (Erik) on TikTok/IGCate and Eric’s Infinite Quest (podcast): https://infinitequestpodcast.com/Sorry, I Missed This (podcast): https://www.understood.org/en/podcasts/sorry-i-missed-this