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It's a comedy podcast where me and my brother John will answer your questions. We'll give you a dubious advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Webber then. How you doing, John? I'm doing great.
Everything is beautiful here. There is one issue Hank that's been hanging over I think all of our heads since last week which is that careful listeners of the podcast may have noticed that in our last episode I said that we'd received like 478 Snickers bars at the office and then later in the episode I said like 458 and then later in the episode I said like 437. At one point you said a number that I had said previously and then I corrected you. That sounds about right.
I have the final number here. The actual number. Did you go and count all your Snickers bars? I counted them one by one because they came in a certain number of boxes but I emptied out all the boxes just so that I could put them in my bathtub so that I could have a Snickers bath.
Are you going to tell me the number of Snickers that are currently left or the number you received? The number I received was 384. I want to apologize to everyone for getting that number so terribly wrong but most of all to my sponsor my longtime corporate sponsor Snickers maker of The Most Delicious snack on earth. So currently I have about I'd say like 200 odd Snickers remaining.
I think that it would be great if we could sort of follow you around in your personal life and and take every moment where you exaggerate on like an objective exaggeration where it's like an actual number and figure out what the percentage is like averaged out what the percentage is that you exaggerate by. I think that would be super interesting. I'd be interested to find out if it was consistent like this is how much John exaggerates so we can sort of say it objectively or just flies all around. I think it's almost exactly 384, 458 is how much I exaggerate.
I would be interested to know how many Snickers bars are actually left because you did just exaggerate how many Snickers bars you've eaten I hope. I mean I'd slightly exaggerated it maybe but I've been enjoying at least I would say a handful of Snickers bars per day. They are delicious. Can I tell you a story John?
Please. So we recently moved to a different office and in the process of moving you know we just sort of like grabbed stuff as it was and put it on a truck and one of the things we grabbed was this trunk that opens up you can I think we got a target and inside there's like some storage space. I was going through the office to be like oh I would all this stuff to like figure out where things were and I opened it that trunk and inside there was a bag of Halloween candy an open bag of Halloween candy with some three musketeers and Snickers and Starbursts in it and I was very pleased and excited to find this and I started and I just like took a handful and closed it up and then and I kept doing that for weeks and it was just like a wonderful little treat that I had but as time went on people saw me doing it and they were like what is there are their treats are their treats in that trunk and so this bag of Halloween candy that had been totally undiscovered since the last Halloween so almost a year now I was it was like my secret for about a week before the knowledge of the location of the treats exponentially grew throughout the the office until now of course there are only Starbursts left. That reminds me that after the coming nuclear apocalypse we may be low on food but there will always be Starbursts.
Is that the short poem for today? That's our short poem. There will always be Starbursts. Yeah let's skip the short poem today and instead focus just a little bit more attention on whether or not we can get a corporate sponsor to send us 384 more Snickers bars because I am concerned about what I'm going to do when these Snickers run out.
I just want to point out that you got Snickers bars and our office didn't and now my office knows about that. My office being the one that actually sold the sponsorship at VidCon and they're like why didn't we get a but and we have a whole thing about M&Ms which is also a Mars brand and and it's there's a great deal of contention now about the fact that we do not we did not get our favorite candy and you did. Hey I think what concerns me about the way that you're constructing this Snickers issue is that you are imagining that my office received 384 Snickers bars. I'm going to be absolutely clear about something for the sake of my own health and for the sake of the health of my employees for the vibe in this office those 384 Snickers bars were addressed to me they are my Snickers bars a portion of them may reside in the office refrigerator but they are mine they belong to me they will be consumed solely by myself.
That is remarkable to me. Are you sure that that's the best thing for your employees to be like hey I got a bunch of stuff I'm your boss I'm gonna keep it. I don't think they really think of me as their boss I think they think of me as like the strange man who shows up some days. John can I can I perform a short poem for this podcast?
Absolutely. The poem for this podcast is from the just the notes that is at the top of our podcast notes document and those notes are 384 Snickers. Helium car would be slightly lighter than air car. The fault in our stars is not available on Netflix.
That's a short poem we generally call 384 Snickers it's by John Green and the podcast notes of our August 1st 2016 episode. Oh boy it's not August 1st and it's early day when this goes when this is aired but it is true that a car with Helium tires would it turns out be slightly lighter than a car with air tires about 0.25 pounds lighter. Nicholas did the math and boy did you do the math we will put the math on our Patreon page at patreon.com slash Dear Hank and John and now Hank it is time very belatedly to get to some questions from my listeners. All right this one is from Trey who asks Dear Hank and John in recent weeks both Stranger Things and the New Harry Potter play came out.
I want to tweet about those things but I don't want to spoil things for others but one of my favorite parts of Twitter is sharing experiences with people at what point can I post without a guilty conscience? I have no idea how to handle this Hank is it never is the answer never? It's never I still do not post Harry Potter spoilers like I do not tweet about like what because like there will always be someone reading Harry Potter for the first time and I like what like if you want to have a conversation if you want to have a conversation about Harry Potter be like hey can anybody come join me in this chat room who's already red cursed child can I can you please like let's create a space where people who have enjoyed Stranger Things and want to discuss it and we go to a place that is not that is segmented off from the rest of the internet. The idea that all that all you know discussion on the internet has to happen in this like uber public forum of either Twitter or YouTube or you know like that's like that's not how it has to be.
We can create social spaces on the internet that are not not in the faces of 100% of the people who follow you. I'm not totally convinced of that like because I don't know exactly where the line is like if I tweet about the results of the most recent AFC Wimbledon game have I spoiled the experience of that AFC Wimbledon game for people who wanted to like wait to watch the highlights on YouTube. I might be biased here but I feel like real life things are different from fictional things so it's not like if I don't know who won the Canadian election and people are like Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is and I'm like oh dang it you spoiled it for me because that's just the world that's life. I'm not like oh I was gonna watch the election coverage later.
That's just the thing that happened in the real world. Okay so the rule is that you can never spoil fictions on broadly available public social media however you can spoil non-fictions. Yes because I mean I think that- Can you spoil the non-fiction book? Are you allowed to spoil a memoir?
Yes because it's a true fact of things that happened and I think that we do that all the time. It's like when someone publishes a memoir oftentimes what will happen is the news story will be like this book came out and this person said these five things because then it's- I don't know. I actually- It's funny you should say that Hank because I felt like the movie Titanic was a little bit spoiled for me just because I happened to already know in advance what happens. You know like with the Titanic I knew that it was gonna sink and I felt like if I could have gone at that experience cold it would have been a much more powerful film for me because I would have been like oh my oh my goodness I thought this was just gonna be a cute love story.
Yeah but no it turns out that this is terrible and for some reason Kate Winslet is not willing to share her door and now Leonardo DiCaprio is gonna die. Oh dang it I did it I spoiled the movie I apologize I'm very sorry. See Leonardo DiCaprio's character in Titanic didn't actually exist that portion was fictional and so you can't spoil it. You can however say that the Titanic sank because that is a thing that happened.
All right so there apparently is a line and I have crossed it for which I apologize. Hank we also have a question from Sarah and this question is as follows. Dear John and Hank I started playing Pokemon Go almost as soon as it was released back when the servers were super flaky and even though the game seems to be working fine now I have a serious problem. You see I live in a rural area and there are no Pokemon or Poke stops that can be easily accessed from my home.
I also can't drive yet and because of my parents busy schedule they can't just drive me places simply for the sake of catching Pokemon. What do I do? Well Sarah I think that you first of all need to twist your parents arms and tell them to drive you places also just get an apartment downtown. I'm imagining you're 13 or 14 years old just get that up just do it get a job drop out of school you'll be fine you gotta focus on getting up to level two.
No you won't that's terrible terrible terrible advice. Listen I like touching Pokemon as much as the next person or possibly more given that I have just reached level 21. However I really feel strongly that you need to wait Sarah for better augmented reality games to come out that are friendlier to people living in rural spaces and then just take your moments when they come you know your school will almost definitely be a Poke stop so when school starts back up you know you can you can stop paying attention in class and just you know make sure that you update that get your Poke balls from the Poke stop every six minutes and our advice on this topic is terrible Hank we're all headed in we're just both headed in terrible directions. I think here's my here's my proposal John we create a new game it's called Nama Kopog and it's it's just like Pokemon Go except all the places where there are Pokemon there aren't any and then all the places where there aren't Pokemon there are tons so it'll get all the city dwellers out into the country land and all the and all the rural people can be like ha ha I got like a level 84 narful blag and everybody be like what is that even I've never even heard of that Nama Kop so that's a pretty big idea I like that idea a lot we should talk to Niantic about this exciting opportunity where they don't even have to license the Pokemon characters they just spell them backwards and put them make them slightly less cute and suddenly it's not even a problem all right I got another question John if you would like to hear this question yes I would it's from Katie who asks Dear Hank and John I'm about two months away from moving into college I'm gonna be living in a triple room me and two roommates in a room that was built for two people the later this room is one loft bed with a desk and a wardrobe built into it and then the other two beds as bunk beds I want the loft bed because it's the best bed and so does everybody else is there a way for me to get my preferred and everyone else's preferred bed without seeming like a total jerk I mean in this situation I take the worst bed 10 times out of 10 to get myself in good with my new roommates oh I was gonna so there are I feel like there are a ton of different answers to this question based on like economic theories like if you're if it's like the communist theory or like then then you all have to just like switch beds every night if it's like the sort of a merit like the idea of of like helping like you know like incremental taxation and progressive taxation then you would say like okay who's the wealthiest person in the room they get the worst bed if it's you know if it's just like American egalitarianism then you have to just be like roshambo and then you pick or you know you have the person pay for the best bed you pay the other roommates you say hey I want the best bed here's 50 bucks and then the other ones are like well I'll give you 52 for it haha and then it's just it's just capital yeah so that but I do like John's suggestion which is which is more sort of communitarian like just say hey I'm gonna sacrifice a thing for you and and we're gonna be friends because of it I think that what you want at college ultimately is not a slightly better bed but better relationships like you have to get along so well with people for those like triple rooms to work at all that I just feel like it's a very marginal gain for real risk like as you know Hank I'm a very risk-averse person but I feel like the downside is significant and the upside probably isn't as significant as you think right yeah I think about this all the time uh like our per se like the differences between the perceived levels of of goodness of a product and but once you actually have it in our using it you're like well yeah I mean it's just yeah it's not it's the thing that I thought was gonna make me happy made me happy maybe in the moment but not for like actually in the long term not really and and I I particularly think about this when I'm watching house hunters and the people are always choose the larger house that's farther from work and I'm like you are choosing to spend so much time in traffic in exchange for a thing that has been objectively proven scientifically to not make you happier whereas spending time in traffic as when you're looking for a house you can't help but think about the house like you're making that decision inside the house inside the car on the way to where Sarah and I were looking at houses when we were moving to Indianapolis and we were looking at houses for the first time at no point did we any of the things that we consider actually affect our quality of life whereas a bunch of things that didn't factor into our consideration at all were extremely important like looking back the number one thing that I wish I'd looked for in a house was a house that did not have much lawn and it didn't even cross my mind I was like oh mowing the lawn is fun it turns out that is nothing else are there any other house hunting tips down that you have for us I mean I guess like the number one house hunting tip that I would make is never make a decision while you're hungry not just a tip in general though like I find that you make better decisions when you're not hungry and I also found in my own life that one of the best ways to not be hungry is to eat Snickers bars is yeah I thought maybe we were working towards a Snickers integration hashtag sponsored all right Hank we have another question this one comes from Ella who writes dear John and Hank I've recently started volunteering at my local charity bookshop and has been given free reign over organizing the many many shelves Ella congratulations on the greatest and also most exciting responsibility that you will probably ever have in your life how do I organize them like fiction and crime and thriller are obviously organized by author but what about sections like mental health and self-help or craft or economics or any of the many categories that aren't fiction and crime do I organize by subcategories stress death sex relationships or do I stick to going by author or do I go for the aesthetic version and go by height what should I do Ella this is a wonderful question this is one of the great questions of being a human alive in the world today how do I organize my books or if I am very lucky how do I organize someone else's books I think this is I mean literally there are entire like like not just courses but entire programs that people go through in school in this particular topic and lots of them will probably be listening to podcasts right now and so I really don't want to say anything as I'm afraid I will offend them use the Dewey Decimal system I mean I believe in going with the Library of Congress cataloging system the Dewey Decimal system is also excellent but I love the Library of Congress cataloging system I just think that it's very you can google it's I just find it to be pretty comprehensive but one of the fascinating things about cataloging a library whether it's your home library or a bookshop or or a public library is that there are all these books that live in the in between spaces that defy easy categorization like in my own home library I have a section for books about conjoined twins because as you know I have a lot of books about conjoined twins but there are some books that are about more than one thing right like there are some books I have for instance a book that is about both boxing and the Holocaust now does that go in boxing or does it go in Holocaust studies these are like these turn out to be kind of like really interesting deep questions and that's one of the reasons I love cataloging and recadabloging my home library is that in addition to like always reminding me of books that I want to reread or that I never haven't gotten to read it also like always reminds me that you know the world even though we have to organize it is always like resisting our organizational impulses yes the world does not want to be cataloged it does not not want to be simple does not want to be yeah yep but but we must for the sake of trying to find the most it is our obligation to ourselves and to each other to find ways to catalog the uncategorizable so just do it by color and and you know do not do it by color that'd be really good I was actually just looking at my book show and I said and like I have all the Scott pilgrims 123456 and they're all different colors and I'd be like oh great so it's like my Scott my six Scott Scott pilgrims are in different spots in my libraries yeah all across my house depending on like which was the three the blue one or was the orange one yeah so we're going to encourage you to consult with a local librarian because they know a lot more about that stuff than we do and also because librarians are the best all right John I got another question it's from Tom who asks dear Hank and John I've just finished a couple of years of cancer treatment and I possibly foolishly started running the numbers the NHS has spent somewhere in excess of 2.5 million pounds to extend my life by probably as little as a couple of years how can I possibly repay that debt to society in such a short space of time how can I justify that my life is worth that much when that money could have saved millions if it had been spent more wisely we very rarely rationally allocate resources so the idea that you should feel responsible for irrational allocation of resources is is is a bit of a stretch I think because the world doesn't allocate resources rationally that's the first thing that I would say the second thing that I would say is that you have to remember that life doesn't exist for money money exists for life and the third thing that I would say is that the NHS and every human being that comes after you has also benefited from your treatment because you have contributed to their understanding of cancer you've contributed to their understanding of how to treat it and that's a really important contribution to the history of the social order right like that's the main way that we've learned is by trying to treat people figuring out what works and what doesn't work so you can't separate the money that's been spent on you from the the good it's done not just for you and those who love you but also for the wider social order yeah and in that same vein with regard to the social order the NHS and health care systems in general exist not just so that we can take care of the people who are sick but for the people who are healthy to know that they can be taken care of and will be taken care of when and if they get sick and that creates a feeling of security and it creates a feeling of value of being valued by your society and by your government to know that that system is there and and that and that and that cost that you have just applied just to you is actually kind of providing a benefit across all people in your country who can feel as if like they know that you know that that that money would have been spent on them if they had been unlucky enough to be in your situation and so that that cost basically gets spread out over all of those people who get to have that sensation of of safety and of support and of of being valued by their society yeah i think survivors guilt is so difficult and it's very very real and this is one expression of it among many and i'm not going to pretend to be able to take that feeling away or that fear away but i think ultimately the the value of any human life if you try to calculate it monetarily everything falls apart yes i i just don't think i just don't think that human lives are like the value or worth of a human life can effectively be measured by markets no no i think that i think that i think that sometimes we try and it's very upsetting yeah i mean to yeah all right john i have another question if you want to go a little bit lighter than that one it's from kelly who asks dear hanken john when there's a large scale tug of war happening i've seen a lot of people using the one two three pull method instead of having all the members of their team constantly pulling well i've seen this work and agree that it's the most effective effective way to win tug of war i don't understand why it works in my head i would think that if the other team was constantly pulling with all their collective might that they would win during the break while my team is counting to three so why does my team win well it might just be that your team is is strong and barely amazing and great and just excellent tug of war people with really nice calves uh but but i have i have some thoughts john do you have any uh well i'm not very good at math but my general thought would be that by saying one two three pull uh while another team is applying constant pressure you would apply a sudden surge of pressure that they would not be like prepared for mentally that might cause them to like stumble and fall over yeah i i think there's a couple of things that work here first is that no one is ever pulling with all of their like no one is ever pulling with all their might together on like the constant pull is actually very hard to maintain so you're you're not giving a hundred percent all at once and so you're sort of like always counting on someone being pulling harder than you are and then sometimes you're pulling harder and sometimes they're pulling harder so everyone is uh no one is actually pulling constantly everyone is pulling uh like at varying speeds and it averages out over the side that's that's supposedly pulling with all of their collective might um and then that's also happening on the other side people are all pulling a little bit like a fair amount uh to keep to keep themselves from being pulled over uh but then they all do that sudden surge at the same time instead of having that average out over the whole rope it happens all at once um so there's that so there's a greater force being generated then will ever be generated by the other side and then the other thing is to just keep them off balance because tug of war is is a game of strength but it is also a game of a gillion balance and keeping your footing uh not sliding forward and not being like not having your your center of gravity go too low that you lose traction and not having to go too high so that you stumble over your feet so that is that is what i would guess uh and i probably took that question probably took it to series yeah i mean as you can tell hank fancy himself an expert in the field of tug of war even though i i would i would wager that the last time uh competed in a competitive tug of war match was 20 years ago 25 maybe i'd say maybe 19 i bet i did some tug of war at summer camp uh but i do i i think you might falsely remember how long ago summer camp was definitely uh wait how old am i i was in summer camp 19 years ago were you yeah i'm 36 so you were in summer camp when you were 17 yeah i i was i was a junior counselor john oh all right i just guess i don't remember that um one more comment about the one two three pull business it occurs to me that since tug of war is ultimately a game about uh balance you should really say one pull because when you say one two three pull all all your opponents are getting ready for that pull but if you just say one pull like they're not going to be ready at all uh that is i think i might have just i think i might have just cracked the code to being successful at tug of war hang no what you really need to do is you need to have a system down before you go in and you're like okay we're gonna pull on so the first pull we're gonna pull on two second pull pull on five third pull pull on three fourth pull on one and then everybody'll be so confused but everybody on your team knows exactly what's happening i love it john i think that's actually i think that's actually exactly how nfl teams uh call plays like that's how quarterbacks do it in the huddle although at this point we're veering into something that we truly know nothing about which is uh playing american football so perhaps we should answer one more question from our listeners before we get to the all important news from mars but i have i have a thing that i want to bring up john okay is that okay can i bring up with it can i just get a little bit is that i'm very interested in the moment when a sport goes from pure fun to like super competitive and for me that moment is when someone introduces a strategy that makes them much better at the sport uh that then everyone else has to emulate but it requires some significant investment of either time or money and then everybody's like oh like the people who are like this this was fun uh but i'm not here for that they all drop out and then suddenly ultimate frisbee becomes this thing that i can no longer play because there are rules and penalties and you can't drink a beer while you're doing it yeah i mean i guess the only counter argument would be that there are lots of sports that you can drink a beer while doing that are still super competitive and in fact are possibly made more competitive by the presence of beer uh i'm thinking especially of the adult softball week that i was briefly a part of which involved a lot of drinking and then also a lot of screaming at an umpire uh and i would just be like but but we're not playing for anything there's no money there's no pride here we're all old people why are you yelling that you were safe at second like let it go i think some of the competitive energy just comes from human nature yeah i think that's definitely true all right but now can we answer one more question before we get to the important news from marzand afc Wimbledon yes we can all right i think this question comes from robert who asks dear john and hankin episode 12 of deer hankin john dang it i said deer hankin john in episode 12 of deer john and hank you discussed the multiverse theory and you said that in only two of the 14 quadrillion possibilities does donald trump become the republican nominee for president of all the dubious stuff we've ever said that might have been the most dubious you said anyone actually win the presidency in either of these universes but did say that in one of them an asteroid will hit the earth and kill all but 17 americans i haven't slept since the donald officially accepted the nomination i just sit quietly in bed weep and try not to wake my husband what should i do uh so i'm confused if this person is tremendously overwhelmed by the possibility that we are now in a 50-50 scenario with the asteroid impact or if it's just not all trump uh that's upsetting them i mean given that there's a 50-50 chance that all but 17 americans will die in the next couple of months due to an asteroid i really feel like i need to be eating more snickers per day yeah we've got we've gone down to the only two possibilities and we're not sure which one we're in so yeah i've got i've got to increase my spd ratio yeah we start living every day like it's our last because uh because for for for all but 17 of us that's the case well 50-50 chance uh the world is not going to i mean the world is going to end it's going to be terrible but it's not going to happen soon um i don't think it's unlikely to happen soon i'm really hedging my bets here robert uh the world is unlikely to end soon the multiverse turns out to be a far more complex and terrifying place than any of us could have anticipated back in episode 12 but uh i still i still believe that uh that the united states is a strong country and a good place to live uh and a very successful nation state in many ways and it's important to remember that even in extremely difficult strange worry sometimes uh that you know i remember john mccain caught a lot of flack in 2008 amid the collapse of the economy for saying the fundamentals of our economy are strong but he was right uh the fundamentals of our economy are strong in the sense that you know people uh people like the currency of the dollar they value it uh you know the our crime rate remains relatively uh low compared to the 1990s the 1980s uh you know there are a lot of things about the united states that are good it's very easy to focus on the things that are terrifying um the only other thing that i would say is vote yes yes which brings me to the the sponsorships for this episode of deer hank and john uh which is brought to you by the fundamentals of our economy the fundamentals of the american economy john according to john mccain and also reality they are strong ish i mean not that strong but strong ishish and of course today's episode of deer hank john is also brought to you by leonardo decaprio leonardo decaprio still feeling like there was probably room on that door for him and this podcast is additionally brought to you by mama kapag mama kapag the new the new hit game from the antich which allows you to play pokemon type game without having to license any of the pokemon names and also while you do not happen to live in the city and finally today's podcast is brought to you by the library of congress cataloging system the library of congress cataloging system may be the best maybe not we're not sure they're just the ones who paid us to say that we like them i love i love the idea of getting sponsorship from the library of congress cataloging system i've got i've got two corporate relationships i've got one with the library of congress cataloging system and i got one with snickers this episode of deer hank and john is brought to you by shopify there are a lot of things that stand between i have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me and that is what shopify makes easier when you start with shopify the tools to design and launch and take payments they're all there from day one you don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business and this is important because you also have to like look good and with shopify templates you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together and when things look real that works on my brain to be like i'm doing a real thing it also works on other people's brains to be like this is legitimate shopify also has one of the best check out systems on the internet it's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks returning customers can check out with a single click that means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody that stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing you're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work you're not wondering whether customers can get through the process shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do it's really kind of amazing to me that shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftba.com or being the size of like matel and gymshark when you build a shopify you're building with tools that already work at every scale all you need is the idea shopify handles the rest you can start your free trial at shopify.com slash deer hank start your free trial shopify.com slash deer hank with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more 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quince.com slash deer hank for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada too that's qunce.com for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash deer hank this episode of deer hank a john is brought to you by factor imagine for a moment that you are absolutely immersed in some work where you're creating something beautiful or useful or useless and ugly but you love it anyway and you look up and suddenly you have a feeling and that feeling is that it is 2.30 pm and that you did not eat lunch what are you gonna do are you gonna get meal delivery that's gonna cost too much and maybe be a bit of a mistake or are you gonna go to the cupboard and just eat several fistfuls of peanuts those are my two choices unless i have a factor in the fridge you can get smoky barbecue chicken breast with potato mash cream corn and peppers you can get creamy lemon pepper chicken with veggie rice peel off broccoli and carrots this has the fiber I need it has the protein I 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desperately trying to get to a cold dead rock when they have a lovely home right here on this is right i see right here on earth john i have to say though i will also say that yesterday in montana there was a high of 35 or a high of 95 and a low of 35 which seemed a little bit excessive to me additionally the fire season has begun and there are some really quite nearby raging fires that have created a lot of of air quality problems but it is that is terrible it is not sure that they're fires on mars there are no fires on mars yeah it is a fire free place yeah why is that that's good because there's no life also there's no air also yeah no oxygen and no combustible material so sounds like hell actually i guess not hell because there's no fire but yeah so what's the news from mars uh well it is is from the national geographic channel who is working on of what it looks to be a very interesting series that i'm not 100% sure i will enjoy but i'm hoping that i will and i'm really excited to to see whether or not i'm gonna like it it's called mars and it is a it's a global event series coming this November that's what it says global event series i think what they mean is show tv show which is a drama but it's sort of mixed together with the realities of exploring mars so it's a drama a six part series uh scripted drama in which uh some people go to mars and it looks uh watch the trailer for it which you can watch at make marshome.com which is the website for this thing that looks really quite uh exciting um and they will they will be mixing together uh the scripted drama with like actual people who are like neo degrastysin and elan musk and uh petered demonus and people like that who will also be talking about the mission and uh yeah it's uh being excited produced by ron howard and and and brian graser and i think it looks like it looks like a fun cool show uh that will be celebrating the spirit of adventure spirit of exploration and uh and all of the all of the stuff that goes along with it and all the drama and freakiness and and scary but there won't be uh but it will be i think hard science fiction no no aliens and stuff just a story of the first humans to explore the surface of mars uh question for you where is it being filmed you know uh mars jon it's being filmed on mars but i'm in big trouble i mean i already lost my bet now it's being filmed on so here's the question john could we make the argument that humans go to mars but in like virtual reality uh television shows no i don't think we can make that argument uh i think that my bet is looking better and better with each passing day well hank uh it is still the off-season for afc Wimbledon but not for much longer uh their first game is next week very exciting uh up there in the third tier of english football we're gonna get a nosebleed we're sitting up so high uh we're actually gonna start the year hank because afc Wimbledon is first in the alphabet at the top of the legal and table um all right we'll see where we go from there uh the news for afc Wimbledon this week is that uh after quite a long time of not signing a striker to replace autobio afc Wimbledon finally have uh his name is tyron barnett possibly barnett i'm not good at pronouncing things and he is 30 years old he is hank get this from stevenage oh you stole my best player no no he grew up in stevenage um but he never played for stevenage so no worries um he played for shrews berry town and south end united and is now coming to Wimbledon i have to say at south end united he had five goals and 20 appearances and that's a pretty good uh that's a pretty good ratio so i'm feeling hopeful and excited about our new 30 year old striker welcome to Wimbledon tyron barnett or possibly barnett uh long may you reign long may you reign well congratulations john so nervous about the season hank i know well is there a way to print out the table as it stands at the beginning of the season and just frame it it's like they have uh it's all downhill from here they have like i think that you could like that they actually release um like a physical copy that you could get oh i don't know i don't know that's a good question i'll have to ask uh hank what did we learn today oh john we learned that if you want to win at at at tug of war all you need to do is listen to me because i'm an expert on everything to do with tug of war apparently because i just thought about it for a little bit yeah that reminds me of how we're experts in everything because we just thought about it for a little bit while we were recording a podcast together we also learned that the opportunity to catalog the shelves at a bookshop is the greatest opportunity on earth and we learned that you should not be sharing spoilers of any fictional things on the internet but if you want to tell the whole world that just entered o is the prime minister of candidate that is acceptable and of course we learned uh that soon you'll be able to download a game called nomicop ag that will allow you to play a pokemon go like game but in rural spaces very excited for nomicop ag i think it has a bright future hank um one quick suggestion maybe if you could make the name not so terrible it occurs to me that there's probably be agnomacop because that would be the first the whole thing agnomacop is much better it unfortunately we only arrived there at the very end of the podcast um thank you for listening hank thank you for doing this podcast with me the podcast edited by nicholas jankins arthi music is by gunnarola our intern is qadiam around us rosianna hals helps out with questions you can email us at hankajonitymail.com and as they say in our hometown don't forget to use