57. You’re Not Delusional — There’s Real Joy in Parenting a Neurodivergent Child

Trigger WarningThis episode includes mentions of intrusive thoughts and parental burnout. Please take care while listening.Episode OverviewHave you ever gone from wanting to run away to feeling overwhelming love for your kids — all within five minutes? You’re not delusional. You’re devoted.In this raw and deeply relatable episode, Jane unpacks the wild emotional contradictions of raising neurodivergent children — the chaos, the guilt, and the strange, feral kind of joy that sneaks in when you least expect it.Drawing on the latest neuroscience and parenting research, she shares how joy isn’t mythical — it’s mechanical. There’s a recipe for it, and ADHD mums can learn to bring it back even in the middle of messy mornings and meltdown chaos.What You’ll HearJane’s honest story of one chaotic morning that spirals from meltdown to meaningWhy joy and rage can coexist — and what it means for ADHD brainsHow Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000) shows us the three switches for joy: Autonomy, Competence, and RelatednessWhat the “Nowhere I’d Rather Be” study revealed about parents of autistic children finding real joy because of, not despite, their childrenPractical micro-shifts you can make today to feel joy again — even if your house is held together by hair ties and hopeThis Episode Is For You If...You love your child but sometimes feel like you’re losing your mindYou’ve ever cried in the car after drop-off, then felt deep love minutes laterYou’re craving joy but feel too exhausted to find itYou need a reminder that devotion, not delusion, drives your parentingKey TakeawayJoy isn’t a reward for getting everything right — it’s a survival instinct. It hides in micro-moments of choice, competence, and connection. When you flip those switches, joy finds its way back.Resources Mentioned Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-Determination Theory: Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.Schultz, W., Dayan, P., & Montague, P. R. (1997). Reward Prediction Error: Science, 275(5306), 1593–1599.Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow. Harper & Row.Dietrich, A. (2004). Neurocognitive Framing: Consciousness and Cognition, 13(4), 746–761.“Nowhere I’d Rather Be” (UK study on autistic parenting joy, 2023)Related ADHD Mums EpisodesThe Lipedema Op: The Invisible Illness You Weren’t Supposed to Notice — Finding identity beyond diagnosisListen Now🎧 Spotify | Apple | ADHDMums.com.auJOIN THE COMMUNITY:Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!FOLLOW FOR MORE:Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTubeLEAVE A REVIEW:Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.COLLABS:For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected] RESOURCES:Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.