58. Things That Look Like Bad Parenting But Are Actually Neurodivergence with Tracey Jewel

When a child melts down in public or refuses to eat, the world sees “bad behaviour.” But often, what looks like defiance or poor parenting is actually neurodivergence — and a family doing their best in a system that doesn’t understand them.In this deeply validating conversation, Jane sits down with Tracey Jewel — author, advocate, and mum of a neurodivergent family — to talk about reframing “bad parenting” through a neurodiverse lens. From ARFID and sensory overload to the grief and joy of parenting differently, this episode challenges the idea of what a “good parent” looks like and celebrates authenticity over appearances.What You’ll HearTracey’s journey from reality TV to raising an ADHD + autistic son — and discovering her own diagnosisThe hidden grief of parenting a child who doesn’t fit the mould — and how to hold both love and loss at onceWhat ARFID really looks like in real life (and why it’s not just “fussy eating”)Why “structure” isn’t always the solution for neurodivergent families — and when it can become oppressiveThe difference between co-regulation and control: what actually helps during a meltdownHow to reframe “fairness” in families where everyone’s needs look differentThis Episode Is For You If...You’ve ever felt judged in public for your child’s behaviourYou’re raising an ADHD or autistic child and constantly second-guessing yourselfYou’ve wondered why “routine” doesn’t work for your family the way it seems to for othersYou’re craving a conversation that feels real, not sugar-coatedKey TakeawayWhat looks like chaos is often communication. When we stop chasing “good parenting” and start embracing true connection, our families thrive in their own rhythm — even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.Resources MentionedInclusive Mums Club — Tracey Jewel’s Perth-based and online community for neurodivergent families. Free membership and sensory-friendly events.ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) information — Raising Children NetworkDr Brené Brown — Atlas of the Heart and The Power of Vulnerability (on emotional awareness and co-regulation).Check out Tracey's IG: @traceyjewel_ify Related ADHD Mums Episodes🎧 The Emotional Load of Raising Neurodivergent Girls — And How to Lighten It — Finding compassion for yourself in the middle of invisible labour.🎧 Surviving the Mental Load of the School Year — How to stop blaming yourself when the system isn’t built for you.Listen Now🎧 Spotify | Apple Podcasts | ADHDMums.com.auJOIN THE COMMUNITY:Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!FOLLOW FOR MORE:Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTubeLEAVE A REVIEW:Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.COLLABS:For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected] RESOURCES:Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.