EPISODE · Mar 17, 2022 · 3 MIN

6- If You Learn One Thing...

from #StoriesAboutSongs · host RedefineHipHop

Building on that feeling from “What Is Yours?”, I wanted to keep that same 80s/90s battle rap energy, experimenting with changing up the patterns a lot. Essentially, it’s me unapologetically letting my weird side out. This is a straight beat jack, and the beat is a song from Toronto Hip Hop pioneers, Rumble And Strong. The song is called “Crazy Jam” and was on Gee Street in ‘89, and if you think about that time, this sounds a bit futuristic. I’m rhyming over a dub version titled “Rumble And Strong In The Year 2010”, so they were already prophesying that this beat would still work in this era, and although 2022 is still 12 years later, I think it still sounds timeless. I didn’t plan to actually use this beat. I was going to go back and make a beat that had this same feeling, but after I recorded it, I just liked it too much. Plus, there is another reason I used it as is, relating to Rumble, but I’ll do a separate post about that soon! While “What Is Yours?” is capturing the feeling right after leaving therapy, often that feeling was short-lived. Soon after, some of those doubts would try to creep back up on me, so I would try to do something fun or creative to distract myself and keep those feelings at bay. And, Ego is a tricky thing, both understanding and navigating our own, but also the way we perceive the ego, or supposed ego, of others. However, I think there is, or can be, a fine line between ego and confidence, or just being able to celebrate your wins. That idea blended with my lifelong struggle with labeled being “different” is the foundation behind this song. When people tell me that I’m “weird”, “unique”, “different”, etc…, it’s sometimes meant as a compliment. Other times, a critique. But, even when it’s meant positively, it’s sometimes bittersweet at times when I feel alone in the world, yet I still want to be comfortable being myself. One childhood reading experience that has always stuck with me is cereal boxes, and the quote, “Enlarged for texture”. That’s what I’m doing here. I’m over-exaggerating my confidence, from my words, to my vocal approach. It sounds boastful, but it’s mostly not, except “bragging” about being myself and following my own path. This boost of confidence is intended to prepare me for the important next step… Imma take this opportunity to let you know I bide my time when I write a rhyme, take it slow Make it so that I will never regret Not even one word spoken, hope'n I never forget The lessons learned from a life lived of speaking my mind I’m seeking divine enlightenment, and I’ll never quit But I’ll admit, I do get off track at times But that’s fine, even though I can’t rewind Every day’s a new chance to finally claim what’s mine I pay no mind, to the pain I left behind No, I’m lying, I think about it ALL the time The force that binds my future to the heart of the rhyme I put 20 years in without seeing a dime And even after, the money that I made inspired laughter In lieu of crying, or trying to encourage the hereafter... The mere matter of fact is I that had to adapt And when they try to box me in, I brace for impact Can’t hold me back, I’m breaking boundaries and barriers And, climbing over walls, defying laws, invading areas Of my mind that they sought to confine But I’mma decline and let my deepest parts just shine And run at least a hundred miles past the finish line That’s a sign of my mind state, I don’t race to win I chase the wind to feel it on my face again All aces in, the tears, they may chafe my skin So I blend my redemption with the taste of sin Say amen, praise for the state I’m in To find the state of mind to create again I found my dreams in purgatory and we made amends And I transcend beyond the realms of normalcy How to be yourself’s the best thing that you could learn from me…