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Or as I first think of it, Dear John and Hank. It's a comedy podcast where me, Hank Green and my brother John, we answer your questions, give you two views of ice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. The first thing that I say on this podcast after the intro is John, how are you doing? I'm doing wonderfully and I'll tell you why.
It's a very simple thing but it's a huge deal. Hank, for the first time in the history of our podcast, last week we made no major errors. Like we got no correction emails? We got some correction emails from people pointing out that the song The Devil Went Down to Georgia is not actually about accountants but I thought that was clear in context.
So I think that we technically know corrections, no flaws, a flawless performance last week from both Hank and John. I can guarantee you one thing that won't happen again this week. Oh no, no, no, no, we're gonna do our best to make as many mistakes as possible. You know, John, I got a correction on Twitter.
Oh no. Somebody who said that I mispronounced LaCroix. But in fact, I did not. Oddly enough.
So I also thought that LaCroix was pronounced LaCroix because it's got all those extra letters in it. So I figured that it was French. But in fact, LaCroix is made in America by the St. Croix River, which is spelled C-R-O-I-X and it's pronounced Croix.
So, yep, it's a Mary. It's not French. And they say on the website, it says right there, it's pronounced LaCroix. Like, enjoy, apparently.
Oh, that's adorable and wonderful news because it means that I still, I get to read an actual short poem today instead of a short poem of correction, which I'm very excited about. All right, do it. All right, I thought I'd read a little bit of a dark poem, but you know, this is a comedy podcast about death. So here's Complete Destruction by William Carlos Williams.
It was an icy day. We buried the cat, then took her box and set fire to it in the backyard. Those fleas that escaped, earth and fire died by the cold. Complete Destruction by William Carlos Williams.
You know, John, I have some trivia about William Carlos Williams to get us started. I probably know it. Was it that he was a physician and often wrote his poems on prescription pads? Nope.
It is about how he was a physician. He believed and he prescribed, in addition to prescribing poems, he prescribed yogurt baths. Well, follow up point, while William Carlos Williams was probably wrong about yogurt baths, he was right about yogurt. Lots of probiotics, or at least some yogurt has probiotics in it.
Yeah, in fact, he would also, he would often recommend that people would get yogurt enemies. Oh boy. Okay, let's move on to some questions from one listeners. The thing that I'm doing right now, John, is making up fake stuff so that people have stuff to get us corrections on.
I thought that she would catch on to that. Oh, no, no, no, no. But you can't correct yourself, mid-pod. It ruins it.
Right. Also, people who stopped listening, the moment you said yogurt enemies are now going to walk around for the rest of their lives and be like, you know that guy who wrote the red wheelbarrow? You won't believe this. But yeah, I guess we can't, I guess I thought that it was completely unbelievable.
But you never know. No, I totally, I totally bought it because, you know, like 20th century medicine, especially pre-World War II was bananas, sometimes literally. Well, John, before we get to the questions, I just want to say the word l'acroy a couple more times in an effort to maybe clue in l'acroy that there might be a podcast interested in sponsorship. Though I'll be honest, while I have brand affinity for l'acroy and I would not, for example, work with Dasani sparkling water because like, you can't get in on this thing.
I'm sorry, you know, major cola brands. This is going to have to be a separate thing that you will not, and in fact, there's Dasani sparkling water in my office right now. I'm very angry about it. But polar, that would also be fine.
Seagrams, totally done with that. Any of you guys want to reach out, I'm a big sparkling water fan. And I think it's all about, you know, the fact that sugar is going to kill you. If yeah, it's just a dangerous substance that is very addictive.
And then I agree with you almost 100% hate. The only thing I disagree with is that like, I think there are some configurations of sugar that can actually of course be really helpful. You know, there are times when you need those simple carbohydrates. And I think dismissing that entirely, you know, dismisses the nutritional value of Snickers bars.
And that's offensive to me personally. You know, John, I see what you're saying here. Well, I think that maybe we should leave this conversation up to Dr. Aaron Carroll at healthcare triage, YouTube.com slash health care triage.
We're just leveraging things to promote more things. Our constant begging for corporate sponsorship is the most reprehensible part of this podcast. And that's really saying something. All right, John, I got a question from Emma who asks, dear Hank and John, my birthday was a few days ago.
And I got a bunch of great shirts from dftba.com. Oh, Emma, you know how to get a question answered. You know how to get a question answered on dear, I good John, don't you? But Emma continues.
However, I need some advice. What is the appropriate etiquette when people are singing Happy Birthday to you? Do you smile and nod? Do you sing along and sing Happy Birthday to yourself?
Or do you just sit there? I have no idea what to do to avoid the awkward birthday scenario. Any advice, even dubious is welcome. All right, Hank, when it comes to this stuff and also so much other stuff, I look to the Queen of England because like every time the Queen of England appears in public, it's sort of similar to what it's like on your birthday when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
Like everybody's paying a lot of attention to the Queen of England. Everybody's always singing a song that has her name in it called God Save the Queen. And the way that she responds is smiling, the occasional wave. So I think when people are singing you Happy Birthday, you just smile, you listen, you're attentive, you try to make eye contact with as many people as possible, but not in a creepy way.
And then at an opportune moment, maybe when they say your name in the Happy Birthday song, you know, Happy Birthday to Emma, that's when you go for the just the real relaxed Queen wave. I don't you just like I'm doing it right now. You can't see it. I do.
Honestly. Breaking amazing Queen of Elizabeth. I couldn't I couldn't not as you were saying it. We're just John and I are sitting in different parts of America right now making our hands do dumb stuff.
I know there's nothing dumb about the Queen wave. I apologize John. I apologize for insulting the Queen wave. I know that you are a big fan of the Queen wave and that you have a poster on your wall that says the Queen wave and it's just the Queen's hand and it's framed and it's gotten like a thousand dollar frame around it and and it used to hang in a gallery of Queen waves and I know it's a big deal in your life.
So I deeply apologize. I mean I know you're trying to create a world in which people will correct us but everything you just said is true. I am like a proper monarchist. I don't think it's adequate just for the Queen to be seen as the head of state.
I think the Queen should be the Queen of the world. Like I think she should be the person who decides what is done in the world at all times. Well I honestly think that it would be pretty cool to have a world royal and the Queen is as close as we have for sure. Yeah.
Just not necessarily somebody who makes decisions but somebody that we're all just sort of like therefore and we're like you know that's a cool thing that we've got a world Queen and they have this you know sort of like a fantastically large stipend but not sort of like any larger than any other rich person but we all sort of see them as you know the royalty. I think that's a good idea and I would like to nominate my wife. Oh that's very sweet but unfortunately that job is already taken by the great Queen Elizabeth II and stop trying to dethrone her. She is the greatest monarch of our time or any time.
Which is pretty great. She's pretty great. A little concerned that we've gotten somewhat away from the question. Right.
Well I well we all do this. Next time you're at a birthday party with someone that you respect and think is that well they're comfortable in every situation. Just watch them and see what they do because I don't even know. I'm just like I've like focused on the cake focus on the cake focus on the cake.
Yeah but you don't you don't sing along to your own birthday song. No does the Queen sing God Save the Queen because that would be funny. I don't know if the Queen sings God save the Queen because I've kind of set myself up rhetorically during this bit. It would be an expert to make it seem like I know a lot about the Queen when in fact the major things I know about her are that she is English and that she is old.
And a bunch of people seem to really like her. All right John do you want to I honestly don't have anything. I just want to do the DFTBA call at John. It's the only reason I've got her answer questions.
You know what you can get at dftba.com that I keep meaning to mention is AFC Wimbledon scarves that are genuinely awesome and the money the royalties from the scarves go to AFC Wimbledon and they're only like $10 or something. So yeah while we're selling out go to dftba.com get an AFC Wimbledon scarf. Okay we have another question that comes from Tim who writes Dear John and Hank. When I recently went to a performance by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra I immediately realized that the majority of the people there were senior citizens.
I'm currently 19 which means there were few people of my age attending the concert. My question is what kind of music do you think those currently in their teens will be listening to in the future. Will we be seeing an elderly Justin Bieber, Tagler Swift or even Hank Green performing at Carnegie Hall in the distant future? Will people listen to classical music in 2066?
Oh well I would be happy to play Carnegie Hall in 2066. In fact I would like to reach out to Carnegie Hall right now and say can I book a date sometime in 2066? Do you have anything available and is it possible I could lock in a rate right now? I mean let's face it Hank the reason the main reason it would be awesome for you to play Carnegie Hall in 2066 is that it would mean that you're still alive.
What only the 86? That's a pretty good chance I'll be alive at a 86. I don't know that I'll be able to like you're such an optimist. I don't be able to stand up in front of a room for an hour and not put my pants but I'll be alive.
Just like play one song and be like I'll be right back young folks. You know young 50 year olds and 60 year olds. I like this question. I gotta go take care of some business.
I like this question because I of course wondered to this when I was a teenager and now I find myself 20 years removed from teenagerness and what has happened in our case Hank is that the bands that we thought were too like cool and progressive and important to ever be considered classic rock or oldies nonetheless are now oldies. Like we are now as far removed from Nirvana's Never Mind as Teenage Me was from Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band. That is something else. So what happens is that the music you like gets normalized and it starts playing in grocery stores and a new generation of old people will like classical music in 20 years and 40 years and 60 years because I don't think people like classical music because it was popular when they were young because it wasn't.
I think they like classical music because as they get older they you know just value and treasure it more on average. That's my guess anyway. Yeah I mean I think that it takes a certain amount of exposure and also patience to enjoy classical music in a fast paced world where there's lots of music always coming out and I found myself enjoying classical music more. Still not listening to classical music stations or anything but I can see myself in 30 years doing it and I listen to Jazmore and I also think that we are all very lucky though it might seem a little bit unpleasant.
You know that moment when you hear 21 pilots on the oldies station is when you know that you know you at least you didn't die. You might be old now but what's the alternative? The alternative is that you didn't make it this far. At least you made it to become an oldie.
Oh that's going to be that's going to be something. There's no there's no easy way to get old though Hank. It's just it's it's an undignified process. Oh yeah well you know yes but I think that you can you can there's place to find dignity.
There are lots of dignified old people. I'm just saying for me I suspect that it's going to I'm going to lack I don't have a ton of dignity as it is. I'm not going into middle age with like you know overwhelming amounts of dignity so I'm a little concerned. Well I think I think it's something you might develop.
You don't you might not have dignity right now John but maybe it's something that you're going to have in the future. Right? Maybe? No I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Let's move on to another question. I'll also keep my fingers crossed for your dignity John. This one is from Hayley who asks Dear Hank and John what food group do mushrooms fall into? They don't seem like they'd be fruits or vegetables but then I looked up in the dictionary the definition of a vegetable and it claims that all plants used as food are vegetables which would make fruits also vegetables.
Basically I'm very confused and hoping that you can clear some things up for me. What do you think John? Yeah no this is a common question and the answer of course is that mushrooms are not food. That's definitely not true.
Oh no it is. You can eat mushrooms in the same sense that you can eat legos if you want to but it doesn't make it food. Well the thing that makes mushrooms food is that they contain calories. You could just eat mushrooms and survive.
I mean not forever but for longer than if you were just eating legos. I think you could probably live for a few months on legos. I'd like to see some science on how long you could live on legos. I think you need a new pair of teeth pretty quick or maybe a new colon.
Did I say pair of teeth? Okay I didn't pick the best non-food item I'll admit. Okay like obviously if I could go back and pick a better example of a non-food item I would like for instance notebook paper would have been better because that is more easily digestible than legos. I'm gonna say legos have calories you could eat them and they would provide some level of sustenance for some period of time.
Well I did and that is a hill that I am ready to fight and die. You know it depends on the lego John if it's been sitting in a box for a long time and maybe there are some bugs hiding in the little nooks and crannies of the legos there may be some some calories in legos. I think if you water it down enough it'll get mushy but let's get back to Hailey's question Hank our mushrooms vegetables or fruits or is this all a construct and none of it actually matters. Well it depends on who you ask it is of course all a construct and none of it really matters which is you know the definition of life on earth here as a human but mushrooms they are their own thing as you say according to the dictionary any any plant that you can eat is quote a vegetable but mushrooms are not vegetable or not plants they are they're fungi they are a whole different part of the biological tree they broke off from the rest of all like animals they broke off from animals after we broke off from plants so we are more closely related to funguses than we are to than we are to plants but wow but I did look this up and the USDA which decides to some extent what is a what is a you know counts as like the food group you know is what we're talking about we're not talking about like biological classification we're talking about food groups the USDA says that they are a vegetable that they that eating mushrooms falls into your fruits and vegetable category for the day and this is because the USDA stands for US Department of Agriculture and there is a Department of the United States government that is responsible for it deciding what we eat and they do not represent Americans they represent Americans who grow food and I think this is extremely strange that it is basically this is an organization that is out for the basically to cater to the interests of farmers and they they're trying telling people what to eat not for the health of the people but for the health of the agriculture industry this is very weird and so they put it you know they like things like you know you're drinking like orange juice and it tells you there's a certain number of servings of fruit that those servings of fruit are about sales of oranges not about the personal health of the individual it is it is ludicrous and something that infuriates me whenever I see people talk about servings of fruits and vegetables but yes they the fungi are regulated by the USDA and they were like put us in there somewhere people have to like have a reason to eat mushrooms and they go in their fruits and vegetables because they serve a lot of the same purpose they're healthy they're low calorie they have high fiber and they have a lot of vitamins and minerals they're very good for you and in case anyone was wondering John and I completely disagree about this and they are delicious I love my I don't love all mushrooms they taste like the dirt from which they came not a huge fan of those like button ones that they that they like slice up on the pizzas I don't love those ones but there's so many different kinds of mushrooms with so many different kinds of flavors and a really great medall derivative as well because they also have a lot of protein but they're just a great food they're great food and don't diss mushrooms John but you can diss the USDA and I will I just want to clarify one thing which is that not all of the dietary guidelines released by the government or released by the USDA there are now for instance there's the office of disease prevention and health promotion which you can find their dietary guidelines at health.gov oh well look at you I feel like a really good corporate sponsor there John health.gov seems like something that we shouldn't be ashamed of oh man if health.gov would just send me 378 healthy bodies that would be amazing it's like popping to one get it really unhealthy popping to the next one get that one really unhealthy you got a lot of big bars to go through John well how do you 378 Snickers bars in two days well I'll tell you what the key is being able to inhabit 14 bodies each day you got it yeah you need a lot more Snickers bars now that you have 378 human bodies to go through all right I got another question this one comes from Brendan who asks why do eyebrows matter so much to people I mean they're literally just little strips of body hair above your eyes and so many people are obsessed with them I just don't understand why they matter so much thank you might guess why I wanted to ask this question it's because lots of people in comments of our YouTube videos are talking about my eyebrows and how they are reportedly thinning and it's super annoying and reminds me that if I were a woman on the internet instead of a man I would be subjected to constant endless analyses of my physical body in ways that I would find completely destructive and would make it impossible for me to continue making things on the internet so yeah that's totally why I'm asking this question I knew nothing about I had never thought about your eyebrows until I watched that video and then I was like I was like look at the comments people talk about your eyebrows and I look at your eyebrows and I'm like they're kind of weird and then I looked at my video and I was like my eyebrows are kind of weird too they're pretty far apart we got pretty far apart eyebrows John I got that thing where I was pretty far apart right and then you start to get in this like cycle of panic where you're like oh that's it my career is over my eyebrows are further apart than they used to be and uh boy you know like I'm how do you wax how do you wax eyebrows someone get me a candle I know I I do so I do I do pull my eyebrow hair out sometimes compulsively as part of the OCD thing that I have but um but I haven't lately it's been pretty well controlled actually so it's curious to me that now is the time that it's that it's coming up but uh I don't know why they matter so much to people Brendan except that I think it frames the eyes for people and people like looking at eyes that's where people are usually looking they're looking at the thing that's looking at them and uh so the eyebrows are sort of in your peripheral vision if you're staring intently to someone's eyes so that's my theory about it but uh but I don't know man I I also feel like eyebrows are a little overrated yeah I mean faces are nice when we like them uh and it is interesting that we have eyebrows at all they seem to be not not just physically functional but also socially functional it's one of the adaptations that we have that seems clear that it is a thing that we have for to help community and so to express emotion and even communicate non-verbally or over long distances and so like we develop these things to increase our ability to read the cues of other humans which helped us be humans and that's that's weird that's a cool thing that we have these structures on our faces that if you if you like took them out of context would be quite weird like it's this fuzzy thing that like sits on top of your brow line and this little caterpillars which got up there that's weird that's weird just like you know how many of them if you took it out of context of our body parts are weird like one of the things that I find most terrifying in the world John is thinking about animals with human hands on them instead of having having feet so like if you think of like a horse with human hands it's just like a human hands are kind of terrifying when they're anywhere except on a human body uh yeah but you know it's all it's all a construct and I wish wish that we didn't analyze ourselves so harshly as people I do occasionally have these moments I don't know if you have these moments like where I'm able to zoom out and see uh human bodies like the way other animals might see them or at least like in a way that doesn't feel like human to me and I'm always just like look at these look at these ludicrous bodies and these at these weird people obsessing over them like they're so concerned with their bodies it's amazing yeah yeah I uh I do have those moments it's like when you say a word long enough and you're like this word doesn't actually it's not a word it's like when you like if you can get into the right mind you're like that is a weird shape for a thing to be yeah look at people they're so weird and naked hairless things yeah yeah I think it's I think it's mostly our lack of fur that I find so distressing uh we're very weird looking like uh just you know if you compare us to all the other apes we're by far the weirdest ones like apes must look at us like I bet like an orangutan looks at chimpanzee and is like yeah I get it I get it you're not bad and then a orangutan looks at a human and it's just like what is going on with you man what is this what did you do what happened you're mad at disgusting are you okay dude you need to like see that some kind of original sin or not yes all right this question is for Paul John who asked dear Hank and John uh there are hand soaps and there are facial soaps isn't really necessary that I have both I think that I wash my hands and face a healthy amount and always use one or the other I feel like having two is unnecessary does it really matter which one I use is there any real evidence for having different soaps for different body parts Hank I'm gonna be honest with you and say that this question falls way out of my fields of expertise uh well that is different I'll say that those soaps are different there are different things um you know we like soap but it's very basic is just a detergent agent um you know if you just have like the cheapest off the shelf uh like dish soap it's just detergent and that you know like binds up and breaks stuff and it makes it easier to wash oils in particular off of things but also whether like just anything um and that's that's like what soap used to be and we have added things to soap and that's those things that we add make them more expensive and so the basic idea is that hand soap is a more like more primitive I don't know if you might have the right word uh primitive kind of soap uh that since your hands are pretty tough and they can handle it but face soap might have them like less of the detergent it might have more of some things like conditioners that uh that sort of replace the oils that they might wash away from your face and make your face not feel all dry and gross and that's obviously the same thing with shampoo it has it has you know detergent to get all rid of all the stuff but then it actually replaces some of the stuff that I got rid of with some some basically like you know conditioning agents that are in a way they're like a new kind of oil that you were putting back into your hair uh to replace the oil that you just stripped away and there's also all kinds of other stuff you know you might have moisturizers you might have like sudsing compounds that make it look sudsier and so you can like feel it and like enjoy the sudgy feeling which doesn't actually have anything to do with the soapiness the soap chemistry is fascinating and there are lots there's lots that go into the different kinds of stuff that we have which is why uh face soap which is trying to be more careful with your skin might be much more expensive than a hand soap also of course the marketing that goes into that uh is expensive as well so there is a difference but if you wash your face with hand soap and that doesn't bother you don't spend extra money on face soap and certainly do not wash your hands with face soap unless you have really sensitive skin because uh because that's just gonna that's just gonna put a whole right in your bank account it's gonna be a poll in your pocket for the rest of your life so that's my answer I thought I'd call it a john can I basically do whatever feels good when it comes to soap you know john do whatever feels good when it comes to soap that's that's good to hear uh because I have often wondered about that and worried about that like am I uh doing some damage to my skin and it's good to hear that uh if it feels all right I probably am all right uh and it's nice to hear that from a beauty expert like yourself think the next question comes from jeff roe who asks dear john and hank a friend of a friend believes the earth is flat they are clearly wrong strong agree but I want to know what you guys think how can I best argue against them when they say science and politicians are lying to them they also say they should be allowed to believe whatever they want and who am I to stop them am I right to want other people not to be wrong oh oh this seems to me a question that is not really about whether the earth is flat but instead about this weird post-fact world that we are living in where memes have taken on a kind of truth to them that is totally uh disconnected from what I think of as reality yes this is an interesting question because there's the first part which is like how can I argue with this person who clearly just wants to argue and that's like that's their main goal in having the salutigress believe which don't yep and then the other one is like like how do I come to terms with the fact that like being wrong like like isn't there just something wrong with being wrong and can't we agree on that right right right with this idea that like uh that people say well I should be allowed to believe whatever I want um it's very difficult to disagree with that I totally agree with you like don't get an argument with people who just say things to be provocative like I used to work with someone um who would regularly say that Abraham Lincoln was the worst american president and there's only one reason to say that right which is to try to start an argument um you know anytime anybody would bring up the 19th century they would be like well as you know Abraham Lincoln was the worst american president you know and that's just like a dot dot dot and then you have to be like you know I mean he wasn't he wasn't he wasn't the worst uh it's probably probably in the top two probably top one anyway uh as you can tell I'm still a little annoyed about that uh but I just it is it's really difficult um you can't engage with people I don't think it's effective to engage with people when they're merely being provocateurs uh because of the never wrestle with a pig axiom you know you get dirty and besides the pig likes it the problem is that we seem to be living in this time where both wrestling with the pig and not wrestling with the pig are equally ineffective and I feel totally powerless and clueless about how we're supposed to be proceeding as people who believe in uh in in science and people who believe in facts and I just feel like we've become unmoored from what I think of as as like fundamental reality and it freaks me out and I don't know what to do about it yeah I mean there's this this great thing that happened called the enlightenment where we where we kind of all finally agreed that there was a way to get to objective knowledge and had a path to that and it's almost like that there's at the moment some kind of anti-enlightenment happening and I agree that it's more than anti-intellectualism right like it goes deeper than anti-intellectualism claiming the earth is flat is not just a rejection of the sort of like uh you know intellectual elite it's a rejection of fairly fundamental observable knowledge and it's imagining a world in which so many people are lying to you that it's just that's what seems so weird to me about it yeah well I mean the thing like flat earthers honestly don't bother me because there aren't very many of them and uh and it's clearly ludicrous but like the you know people who deny the existence of global warming bother me uh like that right it's just like this is a thing that we are going to have to deal with as a species and the longer we argue about whether it exists the less we're going to be able to do and and I think that there are a number of like you know it's almost as if data has become the enemy of of the enlightenment where there is so much data now that there will always be a study saying something that is you know contrary to the big body of evidence and so you can latch onto those individual points you know and I will say that like I don't think science has the solution for every problem I think that there are lots of good reasons to have other ways to examine the world but I you know I am very you know it's like a legitimate worry that I have right now and it stresses me out this you know yeah no it stresses me out too I also think that you know people end up not having these conversations like across belief systems in ways that are really problematic like when we're talking about climate change being real which it is and it's inarguable that it's real and it's inarguable that that humans are causing it we are 95 percent preaching to the choir right like we are so siloed one of the shocking responses to the nerdfighter census at least to me is that there you know are tens of thousands of people who filled out this census and in the question who do you plan to vote for for president uh Hillary Clinton is overwhelmingly in first place uh Gary Johnson is in second place Jill Stein is in third place and Donald Trump got four percent support so far and that's within within people who identify as as nerdfighters I mean that that level of disconnect like that means that what I have always thought of as like a fairly inclusive community that that's you know fairly representative of um American life within certain you know age demographics really isn't at all yeah the other thing is that three percent of those four percent said that they were begrudgingly supporting Donald Trump because they saw him as the lesser of two evils like only one percent of our community is enthusiastic in their support for Donald Trump and yet you know 30 percent of likely voters are and that is 40 45 percent of likely voters according to a poll that came out today it's very it's a very weird time and um and I agree with you Hank that that data has in some ways become the enemy of science because it's so easy to cherry pick data now and it's really sad uh and there's also I think I think something about the internet and I worry that we feed into this a little bit um leads everybody to feel like they can become experts in something in in 10 to 12 minutes uh and and I worry sometimes that that we feed that belief um even though we try to be we try to be pretty careful uh because the belief itself seems to me really really destructive and really dangerous uh because then you've got people who say well I know climate science is wrong because this person says it's wrong and you know here are two studies and that's that it's really weird it's such a weird stressful time in American political life and you know we are gonna you and I personally like are much less at risk from uh from this stuff than the people who are most in need of the protection of a government um and yeah so we're coming at this from a very privileged privileged place but it is scary I think no matter who you are.
So jethro I think that the answer to your question is that you are right to want other people to not be wrong but that we do not know how to get the world to a place where we can have those conversations effectively. Oh god no we really don't and let's just have silence for the next 45 seconds while it will be mourn. You're really messed up our groove there jethro we're having a good time. Today's podcast is brought to you by the darkness the darkness encroaching.
Today's podcast is also brought to you by mushrooms they are not a vegetable not a fruit not even a plant but they are a vegetable. That's actually a really good tagline for mushrooms mushrooms not a vegetable not a fruit just a vegetable um and of course today's podcast is also brought to you by the queen wave the queen wave the number one way to make sure that people understand that you appreciate the happy birthday song and finally this podcast is brought to you by 378 healthy human bodies delivered straight to your door from health.gov. Man poor health.gov they're trying they're trying. That's what they do right sort of like we start ourselves out of the darkness from jethro's question but only sort of.
This episode of your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify there are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me and that is what Shopify makes easier when you start with Shopify the tools to design and launch and take payments they're all there from day one you don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business and this is important because you also have to like look good and with Shopify's templates you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together and when things look real that works on my brain to be like I'm doing a real thing it also works on other people's brains to be like this is legitimate Shopify also has one of the best checkout systems on the internet it's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of 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quince this summer and you can make your summer wardrobe easier by going to quince.com slash deer hank for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too that's qunce.com slash deer hank for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash deer hank this episode of deer hank and john is brought to you by factor imagine for a moment that you are absolutely immersed in some work where you're creating something beautiful or useful or useless and ugly but you love it anyway and you look up and suddenly you have a feeling and that feeling is that it is 2.30 p.m. and you did not eat lunch what are you gonna do are you gonna get meal delivery that's gonna cost too much and maybe be a bit of a mistake or are you gonna go to the cupboard and just eat several fistfuls of peanuts because those are my two choices unless I have a factor in the fridge you can get smoky barbecue chicken breast with potato mash cream corn and peppers you can get creamy lemon pepper chicken with veggie rice peel off broccoli and carrots this has the fiber right need it has the protein I need it has the deliciousness I need what about garlic herb roasted veramun tea with potato zucchini and burr blanc sauce I don't really know what that means but it sounds delicious what about a black bean taco bowl with corn salsa and cilantro crema a delicious high fiber high protein meal that no animals had to die for any of those can be ready in two minutes fresh never frozen over a hundred rotating weekly meals including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian factor shops perhaps cooks and delivers straight to your door so you have more time for everything you love this spring head to factor meals calm slash deer hank 50 off and use the code deer hank 50 off to get 50 off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only wild supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details let's move on to another question hang on this question comes from Sihicha who writes a deer john and hank I'm currently in the process of flying to medical school and like many people I know I've had negative experiences with health care providers in the US it's alarmingly common for patients to feel dehumanized dismissed and ignored I know both of you have spoken about your experiences with chronic illness and john's talked about his experience as a hospital chaplain what ways have you seen health care professionals provide compassionate care I should say that while I have had some negative experiences with my care definitely I've also had a lot of really really positive ones I have a awesome doctor and I've had a few great ER visits my neurologist when I had viral meningitis was just amazing I just like let us now pause to give thanks for my amazing neurologist when I had meningitis I think usually when I've had not great care and I don't know how you feel about the tank but I usually feel like it's because it's a hard job like providing medical care is really really hard and on a second by second basis it's almost impossible to remember that each of these people when you're going from person to person to person that each of these people is under a tremendous amount of stress that they're having a really difficult day in their lives and and to try to be as as patient and careful as you need to be is really really hard and I think everybody's going to fail at it sometimes it's just you know the important thing I think is remembering that yeah that these are human beings and that the care that you're providing the medical side of it is important but making sure that people understand that they feel safe that they know what's happening that's that's as important as the medical part I think in a lot of cases and I feel like I don't know if this is accurate but like in my experience with doctors I feel like like there is training that goes on to help them with this stuff that to get better at it into yeah but it's not always adequate training like I remember when I was when I was a hospital chaplain I remember a doctor like pulled me out of a room with a family and she was very young doctor and she was like I can't I can't do this and I was like excuse me and she was like I can't I can't talk to them right now and I was like what do you mean she was like can you just tell them and I was like no like yeah I'm not a doctor I was like I literally I literally can't because of the law like we're gonna have to like we're gonna have to like man up and do this together yeah I mean I do I do see it as like there's a very weird thing being a doctor it's so hard you go through you go through so much education so that you can be a good doctor and then you are also expected to provide excellent customer support and yeah those are different skill sets and and and it can often be like did I spend all of this time just like becoming you know like becoming this like a doctor in order to get yelled at by someone because I made a mistake which I'm gonna do sometimes right yeah there's the like there's the organic chemistry side of being a doctor or or any health care professional really and then there's the side where you just yeah I mean that stuff is so stressful ah yeah I anyway thank you for applying to medical school we wish you luck Hank and I would both be terrible doctors yeah I mean I yeah I think I think as long as you're thinking about it then that's that's a really good sign and and my experience is having I've also had really great doctors and and have very few nasty things to say about them but you know I think that that is also true of most of the interactions I have in the life so I think that you know like bad experiences tend to stick out in people's heads and then there are some people who have lots of bad experiences because they themselves are just very difficult people to work with and that is not not a thing that is also true although it should also be noted that this is another place where being white and male is provably uh that is true that is true easier it's true and living in an affluent community where there is our planning of resources to support you know good good hospitals with doctors who want to live in those communities and it is a there's a world of inequality and I'm on the good side of that curve yeah it is a very deep uh systemic thing inequality and it's like really hard to even like acknowledge or think about all the different ways that it factors into a human life but I definitely feel that when I am at the hospital uh I definitely feel aware of it when I'm at the hospital Hank I wanted to get to one last question uh because it's just very important before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon this question comes from Sarah and she writes Dear John and Hank over the years I've participated in many activities and sports that make me feel nervous prior to the activities and along with feeling nervous I always have to poop it's not just the gut clenching feeling I'll actually have to make a trip to the bathroom several of my friends have also agreed that they get the nervous poops prior to an event so I was wondering if you knew why this is I like this question and I like Sarah because she had the courage to ask it not even anonymously though Sarah's pretty anonymous well but I mean she she says that she talks to her friends about it where she's just like do you guys get the nervous poops yeah I do by the way Sarah this is a very very real thing yeah and it seems to be a it seems to be a side effect of adrenaline it makes you have to pee and accept poop and like people will make like talk about reasons why this is a good thing if you're in a fight or flight situation I'd never agree I'd never yeah I don't want to have another thing to start worrying about if I'm about to be a tiger like and do you think it's not going to eat me just because I got a little poop on my leg no it's going to eat me I'm food yeah no I totally agree with you I think that there's absolutely no evolutionary advantage in pooping the moment before you get attacked by a grizzly bear there is this thing called the gut brain axis that I am totally fascinated by where your gastrointestinal tract and your brain actually talk a lot to each other a lot more than other parts of your body talk to your brain in many cases and part of that also is that the bacteria in your gastrointestinal tract I've been reading this great book called I Contain Multitudes that talks a lot about this you know the bacteria in your gastrointestinal tract like you have different chemicals and different signs and and so it may also be partly that that when you get anxious the gut brain axis starts you know firing signals of anxiety back and forth until you know suddenly you have to poop but it's okay it's normal and I just hope for your sake that it doesn't interfere with your sports or other activities yeah the traditional medical explanation for this is that you when a gentleman starts running your body moves away from your core and into your limbs which are necessary for fighting and running and stuff and also that's good for sports but and that means that it is moving resources away from your digestive system and it might think like oh like let's just abandon all of this and maybe things relax but also there's some amount I think of cramping that happens so it's not just like that all your signatures relax it's also like there's like some peristalsis waves of muscle constructions going down your colon being like okay let's empty this out because we're not going to deal with it we don't want to deal with this right now we're going to do with other things there's going to be other things to deal with so let's just stop digesting right now get rid of everything in the digestive system not worry about that you're making me a little nervous just by talking about this you're not like the word peristalsis because I love it such a fun word it might be that might be the problem it's more that I don't like imagining I don't really like imagining what's happening on the inside of me very much I find it deeply threatening to my sense of sense I have to have I have to have so with that said let's move on to the news from Mars and a little bit what's the news from Mars this week if you I don't know if you've seen if you follow me on twitter or tumblr you probably have curiosity has sent back some images as it has begun to traverse away from the the ancient lakebed that it has been hanging out and into the mountains surrounding that lakebed and as it has done that the the topography has become much more interesting and much cooler in the photographs that are sending back have been gorgeous and they just released a few of these that they did some good post-production on showing not just you know really cool geographic landscapes and likes of vistas and you know like basically it looks a lot like sort of old old like 1870s photographs of the American Southwest but also that like taking close up shots of cliff faces that are very clearly layer after layer after layer like hundreds of layers of sediment laid down likely either in a lake like a lake like situation or in a stream situation and that just it isn't like the more time we spend on Mars the more it's like oh we thought that this was you know a place where there you know there's no water no life but for a long time there was a lot of water on the surface of Mars and the more time we spend there the more we see it and also like what that leads to is you know scientific interest for sure but also like the action of water in a geological system is also just aesthetically really pleasing and even after that water has been gone for a long long time the the forms that were left by that water spending time on the surface of the planet doing cool things remains just beautiful and so like as much as this news is not about the science of Mars it's just about the aesthetics of Mars I think everybody should look at those pictures because it's it's wonderful it's wonderful to have such a high quality set of imaging systems on the surface of Mars right now and also in such a geographically diverse and interesting place on the surface of Mars as well. Well I have to say that I completely agree with you about how aesthetically beautiful it is to see the remnants of water's work on on on Earth or Stone so for once I'm pretty psyched to check out these Mars pictures but I will emphasize that it's easy to take them without putting any human beings on Mars at least until 2028 or later and there's an article in the Wall Street Journal right now that compares these photographs to photographs from Timothy H. O'Sullivan the 19th century photographer he might also have been a philosopher.
Aren't all photographers philosophers of kind? Well the news the news from AFC Wimbledon is somewhat less aesthetically beautiful heartbreaking gut-wrenching three two whilst to show the United last week. You know some encouraging news this new player Don Polion scored a goal Tom Elliott came on in the second half and scored a goal but the Don's defense continues to let in too many goals and playing from behind too often giving up leads too often we found all the major ways to lose and right now not at the very bottom where we were after the first couple games so I guess that's good news but with five points after seven games AFC Wimbledon are 21st which is the last relegation spot or the first relegation spot so if this season were to end today they would be relegated back to league to side note a semi-related thing that would be it will be of some interest to AFC Wimbledon fans the franchise currently playing in Milton Keens has played seven games and has only eight points so is currently sitting in 15th place in league one not too terribly far from AFC Wimbledon Swindon town a team that used to play FIFA as for a long time is in 16th also having a difficult season in league one so it's been a you know it's been a long seven games but hopefully I don't know we'll see the season is long I get to go to a game soon I'm excited about that good I'm also excited about that and the chances of it being a really fantastic experience though John Seam low oh wait what's that I'm just saying that like you're probably gonna go watch your team lose I'm sorry oh yeah yeah I mean statistically that is probably what's going to happen but uh you never know uh anything is possible and I'm going to keep my fingers crossed all right well uh John thank you for the news from AFC Wimbledon what did we learn today we learned that Abraham Lincoln was America's worst president is the kind of thing that you say if you want to start an argument we learned that humans are ugly naked apes because of original sin I don't think that's actually what we learned we learned that old people will always like classical music and we learned that of course William Carlos Williams was a big proponent of taking baths in yogurt warm yogurt big tubs full of yogurt and I'm totally not making that at all it seems very plausible to me thanks for listening thank you for potting with me you can email us at hankinjohn at gmail.com you can also follow us on patreon or support the podcast directly on patreon at patreon.com slash dear hank and john again our email address is hankinjohn at gmail.com Nicholas Jenkins edits our podcast Rosie on a house rojas helps out with questions our theme music is by gunnarolla I'm John green on twitter hank is hank green on twitter if you want to say hi to us there you can also use the hashtag dear hankinjohn to get some questions that way thank you again for listening and as we say in our hometown wait wait wait wait wait wait also starting this week we have Victoria Bongiorno who is running dear hankinjohn helping out with the patreon and with social media stuff and also various other things taking over for Claudia is Victoria hello Victoria thank you Victoria I apologize for missing your name in your very first week on the job and as they say in our hometown don't forget to be awesome