64: New Year New You

Welcome Back to The Love How Deep podcast!

 

In this episode hosts Brian and Heather Mayer discuss the significance of New Year's resolutions for individuals and couples. They explore common resolutions such as health, finances, personal growth, and relationship improvement, and provide practical tips for setting achievable goals. The episode also delves into the importance of incorporating spiritual growth and God's guidance into the resolution-making process. The hosts address why resolutions often fail and share strategies for maintaining commitment, emphasizing the need for realistic objectives, accountability, and prayer.

 

1. Introduction

• "As the New Year begins, it's the perfect time to reflect on your marriage and set a vision for what God can do in your relationship."
• Overview: We want to guide couples on how to embrace the New Year as an opportunity to renew their relationship, grow closer to God, and cultivate habits that strengthen their bond.
• Key Verse: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" (2 Corinthians 5:17)

2. Talk About Most Common New Year's Resolutions

• Health & Fitness: Losing weight, eating healthier, exercising more.
• Finances: Saving money, paying off debt, or learning to budget better.
• Personal Growth: Learning a new skill, reading more books, or pursuing a hobby.
• Relationships: Spending more time with family, improving communication, or resolving conflicts.
• Spiritual Growth: Praying more, attending church regularly, or reading the Bible daily.
• Mention how marriage-specific resolutions might include improving communication, prioritizing date nights, or praying together regularly.
• Key Verse:  "Where there is no vision, the people perish." (Proverbs 29:18)

3. Statistics About Resolutions (Percent of People Who Maintain Resolutions)

• Initial Enthusiasm: Approximately 43% of people expect to keep their resolutions.
• Drop-Off Rates: Studies show only 23% of people stay committed after one month.
• Long-Term Success: By the end of the year, only about 9-12% report achieving their resolution goals.
• Top Factors for Success: Specific goals, accountability, and consistency increase the likelihood of success.
• Relate these statistics to marriage goals, emphasizing the importance of staying intentional and consistent throughout the year.
• Key Verse:  "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2)
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4. Why Do New Year's Resolutions Fail

• Unrealistic Goals: Setting lofty or vague goals without actionable steps (e.g., "I want a better marriage" vs. "We'll pray together every evening").
• Lack of Accountability: Without support or a system in place, it's easy to lose momentum.
• Overwhelming Change: Trying to tackle too many resolutions at once can lead to burnout.
• Distractions: Life's busyness can sideline good intentions.
• No Rooted Motivation: Goals disconnected from deeper values or faith often fizzle out.

• Key Verse:  "His mercies are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

5. Incorporate God Into the Process

• Pray for Guidance: Invite God to reveal His plans for your marriage in the coming year.
• Use the Word as a Foundation: Commit to studying Bible verses about love, unity, and forgiveness (e.g., Colossians 3:14, Ephesians 4:32).
• Discuss the importance of surrendering personal and marital struggles to God.
• Key Verse:  "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13)

6. Examples

• Health Goal for Couples: Walk together for 30 minutes daily and use the time to talk or pray.
• Financial Goal: Create a joint budget to align your spending with God's priorities, like tithing or saving for family needs.
• Communication Goal: Commit to one uninterrupted hour each week to connect deeply, using open-ended questions.  Compliment your spouse once every day.  Ask family to share best of the day.  Random Acts of Kindness.  5 Love Languages. 
• Spiritual Goal: Begin a habit of praying aloud together before bed or choosing a verse for the year that represents your marriage focus.

• Conflict Resolution Goal: Practice "the 24-hour rule" where conflicts are addressed within a day, with God's guidance for resolution.  Take a deep breath.  Ask for timeout when necessary.  A supportive partnership strengthens a marriage during life's challenges.
  • Couples are called to persist together, even when the way forward seems impossible.
• Key Verse:  "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit." (John 15:5)

8. Call to Action

• • Pray about one specific area they'd like to grow in as a couple this year.
  • Share this episode with another couple who might benefit from these principles.
• Please share this episode and subscribe to our podcast through:
  • Goal Setting 101 (Individual, Couple, Family Goals)
  • Goal Setting 201 (Home Improvement)
  • Goal Setting 301 (Financial Goals)
  • Goal Setting 401 (Anniversary Goals)

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