66. Are you laying awake in the early hours? ...I've been there...

The clock says 3 a.m., but your mind won’t switch off. You can still feel your child’s legs wrapped around your waist at changeover, hear the cry that says "stay", and taste the guilt of agreeing to overnights that never felt right. You were told kids “adapt,” that “equal time” is always best. What if that advice ignores how young brains and bodies actually develop?We walk through the real signs of attachment strain - full-body clinging, sleep disruption, toileting regressions, and meltdowns that linger after return - and connect them to what the research shows about frequent overnights for children under four years. Drawing on peer‑reviewed, government‑commissioned findings from the Australian Institute of Family Studies, we explain why predictability with a primary attachment figure is protective, how stress systems in toddlers react to repeated separations, and how “fairness to adults” can conflict with child development. Then we offer a clear alternative.Knowing the evidence is only half the battle. We unpack the protective parenting framework - knowledge, capacity, and strategic implementation - so you can hold your position when pressure rises. The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint is available now - learn more using this link.The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen to this song, or download free, by visiting danielleblackcoaching.com.auAbout Danielle Black Coaching:Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.auThis podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.