66| Earbuds In: A Catholic Conversation About Sex, Intimacy, and Marriage

This is an “earbuds in” conversation, friend. Melissa sits down with Ellen Holloway, host of Charting Toward Intimacy (a leading Catholic intimacy podcast), for an honest, hope-filled conversation about sex, intimacy, and healing in marriage—in a way that’s fully aligned with the Catholic Church. Ellen shares her personal story (including the early struggles of marriage, learning Natural Family Planning, and healing from vaginismus), why so many Catholic women feel shame or confusion around sex, and practical steps to reconnect with your body, your spouse, and God. You’ll also hear powerful takeaways like a body scan prayer, the idea that sex can be prayer, and why scheduling sex isn’t unromantic—it’s often the most loving way to prioritize intimacy in real life. Learn more at Ellen’s website: https://vinesinfullbloom.com/  Key Takeaways You’re not “bad” for struggling with sex. Many emotions around intimacy are learned responses, not moral failures. Shame thrives in silence. Intimacy is deeply vulnerable, so it’s often avoided—but it’s too important to ignore. A powerful starting point: the Body Scan Prayer. Noticing your thoughts about each part of your body and asking God what He thinks can be deeply healing. God calls your body “very good.” Parts of the body that carry the most shame are also parts that reflect God’s design for communion and relationship. Healing takes time—and wins matter. Celebrate small progress instead of only focusing on the end goal. Sex can be prayerful. Ellen encourages bringing God into your intimacy—praying about your sex life and (eventually) praying with your husband. Spontaneity is not the standard. Scheduling sex is often a healthy way to prioritize connection (just like we schedule what matters most). Libido can be rebuilt. Desire and pleasure aren’t “either you have it or you don’t”—there are practical steps forward. There are safer ways to get support. Not every level of conversation is appropriate with close friends—sometimes a coach/community outside your circle is best. Free next step: Ellen shares a free webinar on January 21 focused on rebuilding libido and learning key foundations for pleasure. Chapter Titles + Timestamps 00:01 — Earbuds In Disclaimer + Episode Preview 00:37 — Ellen’s Story: Early Marriage Struggles, NFP, and Healing 05:05 — “Why Didn’t Anyone Teach Us This?” (Purity Culture + Pre-Cana Gaps) 07:06 — Why Intimacy Feels Misunderstood or Avoided 13:30 — Motherhood + Disconnection: What Feels “Off Limits” and Why 14:39 — The Body Scan Prayer (Asking God What He Thinks About Your Body) 20:20 — For the Woman Carrying Shame, Confusion, or Trauma 23:55 — God-Centered Intimacy: Sex as Prayer + Praying About Sex 30:24 — Free Webinar (Jan 21): Rebuilding Libido + Foundations for Pleasure 32:51 — Scheduling Sex: Debunking the “It Must Be Spontaneous” Myth 42:12 — Where to Find Ellen + Podcast + Webinar Sign-Up 43:22 — Closing Blessing + “Stay Anchored With Purpose” Links Mentioned Ellen’s website: https://vinesinfullbloom.com/  Ellen’s podcast: Charting Toward Intimacy (wherever you listen) Free webinar sign-up (Jan 21): https://us06web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_9Q4qrEa3T7q3AoXzYniGzQ Books/resources mentioned: Gregory Popcak, Holy Sex: https://a.co/d/663Dphl  Edward Sri: https://a.co/d/eNMGodf  Christopher West (Theology of the Body resources): https://a.co/d/74Yyby5  The Power of a Praying Wife (Melissa mentions): https://a.co/d/7EtCjQL Catholic marriage, Catholic intimacy, sex in marriage, Theology of the Body, natural family planning (NFP), fertility awareness, vaginismus, libido, orgasm, pleasure, shame, purity culture, healing, body scan prayer, praying with your husband, scheduling sex, spontaneous vs responsive desire, emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, Catholic women, marriage encouragement