69: Kiss & Tell: Heated Rivalry, My Relationship with Excellence, Pain vs. Attraction

In this personal Kiss & Tell episode of Big F*cking Dreams, Hannah shares an honest behind-the-scenes reflection on excellence, ambition, identity, and growth — and what it really looks like to raise your standards without returning to burnout. From becoming unexpectedly obsessed with Heated Rivalry, to re-examining her relationship with excellence after burnout recovery, to rethinking how pain-based thinking shapes work, marketing, and personal goals — this episode is a candid look at how high performers evolve when they stop swinging between over-pushing and pulling back. Key Takeaways: Burnout doesn't mean excellence is gone — it means capacity needs rebuilding You can raise your standards without self-punishment Excellence and sustainability are not opposites Showing up at 70% is still leadership Passion often reveals identity, not distraction Focusing on pain keeps you stuck; focusing on transformation moves you forward What you pay attention to shapes what you create Ambition works best when paired with self-trust and internal safety   Timestamps: 01:00 – A new (unexpected) obsession: Heated Rivalry 01:30 – A personal branding exercise that revealed a core truth 02:00 – Passion, intensity, and identity 02:30 – Falling into obsession — and what it reveals 03:00 – Why simple, focused storytelling works 04:30 – Courage, visibility, and self-acceptance 05:00 – Why this story mattered so deeply 06:00 – Shifting into excellence: watching the Taylor Swift documentary 06:30 – Rigor, discipline, and demanding excellence 07:00 – Burnout at 30 and stepping away from work 07:30 – Trauma recovery and rebuilding capacity 08:00 – Entrepreneurship after burnout 09:00 – "Just put it out" vs. "hold a higher standard" 10:00 – Raising the bar in content and leadership 10:30 – Excellence as identity — done healthily 11:30 – Living in the gray, not extremes 12:00 – Showing up at 70% instead of not at all 12:30 – Discipline without punishment 13:00 – The tension between excellence and consistency 13:30 – Why showing up still matters 14:00 – Pain-based vs. attraction-based marketing 14:30 – Trauma shaping how we see the world 15:00 – The reticular activating system explained 15:30 – Why focusing on what you don't want backfires 16:00 – Shifting toward transformation and desire 16:30 – Helping people change their internal operating system 17:00 – Re-orienting toward possibility and growth ------- Gain Access to the free Career Confidence Course: https://www.hannahkissel.com/careerconfidence The Truth About Imposter Syndrome: https://open.spotify.com/episode/129YgMPuJWGLQK5VB9CncR?si=a352646dfec6411a Follow Hannah Kissel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahmaekissel/ Connect with Hannah Kissel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannahkissel/ Quiz: Discover Your Career Alignment Score: https://hannahkisselcareerquiz.scoreapp.com