74. You’re Not That Mum (Back to School Edition)

If you’re standing at the edge of a new school year already feeling tight, alert, or on edge — this episode is for you.Not because you’re anxious.Not because you’re controlling.And not because you’re ‘that mum’.In this episode, Jane unpacks what actually happens for many mums as school resumes — especially those parenting neurodivergent children. The pressure to stay ahead. To manage outcomes. To prevent last year from repeating itself.What often gets misunderstood is this:that tension isn’t about wanting control.It’s about knowing what’s at stake.This episode explores the difference between regulation through behaviour and regulation through relationship — and why mums so often find themselves translating between systems that don’t speak the same language.Jane reflects honestly on her own controlling reactions, not as a flaw, but as a signal of care under pressure. The result is an episode that offers relief, recognition, and permission — not resolution.This is not a ‘back to school readiness’ episode.It’s an emotional exhale before the year begins.In This Episode, We CoverWhy the start of the school year activates so much nervous system stressHow last year gets carried forward in the bodyThe difference between caring, control, and influenceWhy mums are often labelled ‘that mum’ when they’re actually translating systemsRegulation through relationship vs regulation through behaviourHow fear of repetition drives over-functioningWhy letting go of control isn’t the same as giving upPermission to choose influence where control isn’t possibleThis Episode Is For You IfYou feel braced heading into the school yearYou’re worried about becoming ‘that mum’You’re carrying last year’s stress into this oneYou’ve had to advocate repeatedly for your childYou feel responsible for making the system workYou want relief and clarity, not another checklist🔗 Related EpisodesThese episodes sit in the same school-season and systems-translation lane, and deepen the themes explored here.Surviving the Mental Load of the School YearWhy mums carry the system stress, not just the logistics👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-63-surviving-the-mental-load-of-the-school-year/Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong? (Quick Reset)How last year gets carried in your body👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-10-quick-reset-why-am-i-bracing-for-impact-when-nothing-is-wrong/Making the Invisible Mental Load Visible: How to Share the Load Without the StressTranslating between systems, not controlling them👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-73-making-the-invisible-mental-load-visible/The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say ‘We Don’t See It’Validation for parents who know their child needs relationship first👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/When School Stops Feeling SafeWhat happens when connection breaks down👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-19-when-school-stops-being-safe/Final NoteYou’re not ‘that mum’.You’re a mum who knows what happened last time — and doesn’t want a repeat.This episode isn’t asking you to try harder.It’s reminding you that regulation, safety, and influence don’t come from control.If this episode hit home, share it with a mum who’s quietly dreading the school start.📬 Listener Questions & CommunitySubmit a Listener Question (anonymous option)If there’s something you want answered on the podcast, you can submit a question here — anonymously if you prefer.https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864Share Feedback or Topic RequestsHave a topic you’d like covered, or feedback you want to pass on? You can send it through here.https://form.jotform.com/243189306607864Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmums