81. Stop googling 'narcissists' - What Australian protective parents REALLY need to understand

If you’ve ever found yourself deep in Google searches trying to work out whether your ex is a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or something in between… this episode is for you.Because here’s the truth:Understanding “narcissism” won’t help you protect your children.Understanding coercive control will.In this episode, Danielle Black explains why protective parents get stuck in the narcissism rabbit hole - and how it can keep them overwhelmed, confused, and focused on the wrong problem.You’ll learn:Why terms like “narcissist,” “covert,” “grey rock,” and “yellow rock” can keep you stuck, and reactive, instead of strategicWhy the family law system doesn’t care about personality labels - and what it does care aboutThe key differences between narcissistic traits and pattern-based coercive controlWhy identifying patterns of behaviour matters far more than diagnosing the personWhat you should be tracking insteadHow to shift from chaos → clarity, and from labels → evidenceIf you’re exhausted from trying to decode their personality, stop.The problem isn’t who they are - it’s what they do, the pattern, and the harm it causes your children.This episode gives you the lens professionals actually respond to - and the one that puts you back in your power.If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now - good. It means your instincts are working.But instinct isn’t enough if you're navigating the court system with a controlling co-parent. You need structure, strategy, and language.That’s what the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint gives you.And starting Friday 28 November 2025, you can get:$300 off4 months of AI Danielle to support you 24/7Take advantage of this special offer.Your future self will thank you.More information about the blueprint: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1The music you hear in this outro is 'Calm is Credible' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.  You can listen to this song, or download free, by visiting danielleblackcoaching.com.auAbout Danielle Black Coaching:Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.auThis podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.