87.When You Stay Calm at School — And Leave Feeling Like You Didn’t Do Enough with Sara Hocking

You’ve sent the emails.You’ve attended the meetings.You’ve tried to be calm, collaborative, reasonable.And nothing changes.Then suddenly something serious happens — a suspension, an incident, a formal complaint — and overnight the school moves quickly.So what just happened?This episode unpacks the moment many ADHD mums eventually hit: the point where being reasonable stops working — and why that happens inside the school system.Because for many families, the problem isn’t communication.It’s understanding what schools actually respond to, what they quietly ignore, and how the system itself shapes those responses.WHAT WE COVERWhy being calm, collaborative and ‘reasonable’ often doesn’t move schoolsWhat schools actually respond to — and what gets quietly ignoredWhy emotional emails and long explanations often backfireThe reality behind ‘reasonable adjustments’ under Australian education lawWhy some adjustments are refused even when they appear simpleThe funding model most parents have never heard of: NCCDWhy teachers may genuinely say they can’t do something — even when it seems obviousThe difference between fairness and inclusion in schoolsWhen escalating a complaint becomes necessary (and how to do it properly)Why documentation, meeting notes and evidence matter far more than emotionTHIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…You feel like you’ve been polite, patient and collaborative… and nothing has changedYour child’s school says they ‘can’t’ implement adjustments that seem reasonableYou’ve asked for incident reports or documentation and never received themMeetings feel confusing or adversarialYou’re not sure when to keep negotiating and when to escalateYou’re trying to advocate for your child without becoming ‘that parent’ABOUT TODAY’S GUESTSara HockingEducational disability advocate supporting families navigating school discrimination, failed adjustments and escalation processes.Sarah works directly with families across Australia dealing with school-based disability support issues and understands both the legal framework and the practical realities of how schools respond.LEGISLATION REFERENCEDDisability Discrimination Act 1992 (Cth)Disability Standards for Education 2005 (Cth)These laws outline the obligation for Australian schools to provide reasonable adjustments for students with disability, provided those adjustments do not create an unjustifiable hardship for the school.FUNDING MODEL MENTIONEDNationally Consistent Collection of Data on School Students with Disability (NCCD)The NCCD is the Australian Government framework used to determine funding and support levels for students with disability in schools.Many parents assume funding follows their child directly to the school.In reality, the system is far more complex — and often much less transparent.FIND SARA HERESara Hocking – Educational Disability Advocatewww.seebeyondau.orgRELATED ADHD MUMS EPISODES🎧 When School Decides Your Child Is the Problemhttps://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/🎧 Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problemshttps://adhdmums.com.au/raising-strong-children/FREE PARENT RESOURCES📘 The School Choice Kithttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/SHARE YOUR SCHOOL EXPERIENCEIf you’ve experienced school pushback, refused adjustments, or confusing processes around disability support, you can share your experience here:https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864Your experiences help shape future episodes and resources for other ADHD mums navigating the same systems.