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Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John! There's that first thing with your John and Hank.
It's a comedy podcast where me and my brother John and Steve are going to be surprised to be giving you all the weeks to use from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. How you doing John? I'm doing well. Thank you.
I just received in the mail 378 tumbler stickers from Tumbler. Oh wow. And actually from Tumbler Tumbler. Yeah from Tumbler itself.
And I feel like this 378 things joke has gone a little bit too far. Well I mean we got it back away from me. What are you going to do with 378 stickers? Give me something I can eat Tumbler.
Yeah well Tumbler candy bars. Some Tumbler hot pockets. You know some Tumbler salad dressing. When I think about the places where Tumbler needs to expand and change, I really I do think about food first.
They need to get in the hot pocket business because I just feel like the current hot pocket business is not being well served by only having one brand in it. I do not see enough social media representation at the grocery store. What is that about? Why are they not?
Twitter you know one of those things called TV dinners. Twitter TV dinners. That's what I want. They're just it's just they're all 140 calories each.
Oh I love it. I love it. I mean one of the things I really like about having you is my brother Hank is that even when I have kind of very mediocre ideas. You're wonderfully excited about them and I really appreciate that.
Oh well I got really excited. I think Twitter's been a huge opportunity. Yeah I agree the biggest problem that Twitter has is not being in the TV dinners business. Hank would you like a short poem for today?
Before we do that John I have to say that you got your stickers from Tumbler but I from so now from two different sets of fans of the pod I've gotten candy and one was the Orion's that weird Irish potatoes that have no potato in them and now I have received just because you are always getting the good stuff and people feel bad for me. I got 378 peanut butter cups. What? Not from Reese's just from people who want me to feel better about my lack of good camp.
Man that's not fair. I love Reese's cups. I know they're good but do you know what John? Do you know what?
I have put them out for all of the staff at Complexly Missoula to enjoy. Unlike your policy with your poor people in Indianapolis who just got to look at and not touch the Snickers. Okay I don't I'm you know you don't don't try to paint me as a bad guy just because I wanted to enjoy all 378 of the Snickers that the Snickers company sent to me personally. Well we're different people that's all I can say.
Do you have a short poem for us today? That's not that's not at all fair. I am a I am a fantastic person who just happens to love Snickers and also I would not ask for someone else's Snickers you know I believe that in this world a human being has to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and without any help find their own Snickers in this world you know we've all got an equal shot at Snickers. There's also the fact that if I had to be at instead of the eight Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in my home that next week I would have about 50 and and but I would have serious digestive issues so yeah I do need help with this problem it is a bit of a problem to have that many Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
I would I would say that you know some people would construct it as a problem other people would construct it as an opportunity. Here's a short poem it's by Bill Nott a poet I've gotten really into since he died. I feel bad because it's so cliche to get into poets right after they die but I didn't know about him until he died anyway this poem is called alternative fates and I really love it. What if right in the middle of a battle across the battlefield the wind blew thousands of lottery tickets what then?
What then Hank? Like scratch off tickets like they're not are they already are they winning lottery tickets or are they like that have been like or are they just like okay everybody has to get their coins out. If you want my definition they can't all be winning lottery tickets. It's not a lottery it's just a straight cash giveaway.
That would be more expensive than the actual one probably not. Wars are astonishingly expensive. That's a good point John. All right why do we have questions from our listeners this fine day on Dear Hank and John.
Well this first question comes from Danny who writes Dear Green Brothers anytime I cook something in the oven that requires a covering of aluminum foil I noticed that even after 40 plus minutes of exposure to extreme heat the foil is barely even warm when I remove it. This is weird isn't metal supposed to be a good conductor should not the foil be just as hot as the metal dish in which my delicious lasagna is being cooked is everything I learned in my chemistry courses about conductors and insulators a lie any dubious explanation is appreciated victory for the forces of democracy. Danny I feel like I just was asked to participate in propaganda by reading the sign off I've been tricked. Hank yeah you guys you guys you're not getting 100 percent like read of sign offs we will skip them sometimes if we find them controversial enough but not that one victory for the forces of democracy John.
Mightn't democracy have been overrated do you not like the frame that the for like victory for the forces of anything really like maybe we shouldn't be framing things that way or is it the it was I wouldn't mind like victory in the war. I don't let's move on. So Danny to get a question that if you were listening extra hard in in your chemistry slash physics classes you would you would know one extra thing about heat which is that it's there but it is also it is only there in the amount that it can be there so if I have like a piece of lead that's like 30 pounds and it is uniformly heated to you know 450 degrees or whatever your oven was at then that object has a ton of heat inside of it it isn't just a temperature it also contains a lot of heat and then if I have like a feather that I have well that's a bad example because it's gonna catch fire at 450 degrees probably but if I have something that is very light that I heat up at the same temperature then that will be the same temperature but it will contain less heat so when you're talking about this tin foil tin foil is very light it's very thin so when you touch it you are actually touching something that's 450 degrees but all of that heat immediately like it just isn't enough to heat your finger up very much what so it's going into your finger there's just not enough heat to change the temperature of your finger dramatic. No there is no I thought it was because aluminum is something special and different from other metals there is no way that is the answer.
That's the answer. Shut the front door. So yeah I even looked it up because I wanted to make sure. I mean I you know what Hank I support you and as you know I'm a huge fan of science victory for the forces of science however there's no way that's true Danny it's because aluminum foil is different from other metals that's why and nobody knows how it's different or why it's different but is.
Okay well we get all your just because you just because you don't agree doesn't mean it's not true but we'll move on. Hank if I've learned anything from recent American history it's that if you believe something that is legitimate no matter what even if it's wrong it is as legitimate as a right as a right opinion because opinions are just opinions and everyone has them and facts are just facts and there might be alternative facts that contradict your facts and there's a lot of data out there and the data isn't clear and aluminum foil is special and different and you just don't understand it or maybe science doesn't understand it yet because it's so complicated and interesting that science hasn't been able to grasp it. So let's move on. Questions from John who asked steer Hank and John I'm a delivery man and I started giving people reminders of their mortality along with my pizza am I good it could happen at any time John.
No you're not good you're not good. Nope nope you're uh you are on the wrong side of history friend here's my issue with this Hank. I mean do you just have one? I have one issue.
Okay. All right I want you to imagine a pizza delivery situation in which you open the door you hand the money for the pizza the pizza is handed back to you and then somebody says you could die at any moment. What I'm going to take from that is not like a helpful reminder of my mortality I'm going to assume that I am about to be murdered. Yep I mean I also I want to know how this message is being delivered it's very vague like are you being super subtle because even if you're saying if you look at me at the end of a pizza exchange and you just even if you say it could happen at any time I'm gonna spend the next like six years freaked out over like what is it?
Yeah I like to imagine that uh there's just like before he puts the pizza in the box John just writes a little message just uh just it could happen at any time like very small under the and so you're like 99 percent of people aren't noticing it but like somebody takes that last pizza and then they're like what is that? What does it mean? What is the pizza? What is the pizza box trying to tell me?
John you have to stop doing this this is a big big concern for me. Yeah no I definitely will not order a pizza again from a restaurant that delivers with a pizza delivery man who is also delivering a message of my own mortality like if you notice like a dramatic decrease in repeat customers. Reminders of their mortality along with pizza I mean if there's any time like I understand that we should be aware of the the finite nature of our existence but also we have sundials I'm about to have a pizza I don't need this right now like I'm yeah I've already made a mistake today I'm already indulging myself I don't hey hey stop right there stop right there all right we've thank you and I've both now said stupid things in this podcast that we just need to stop and apologize for first off I expressed an opposition to democracy I would like to take that back okay I am hard in favor of democracy I don't know where that came from and then now having said that Hank I want to give you an opportunity to take back the horrible disgusting reprehensible thing you just said about pizza I take it back I do not want to shame myself or anyone else for the enjoyment of the perfect thing that is pizza thank you thank you okay all right we are I feel like we're back to even now um and I don't think about aluminum foil and science being wrong but whatever we'll just ignore that oh I'm not I'm not walking away from that one um it seems like you must be wrong I believe that you're right but it also seems like you must be wrong which um let's move on to another question Hank all right actually you know what I'd like to formally apologize for saying that science is wrong okay you know I put I I don't know if people can read tone anymore uh in these dark and strange times so I just want to be absolutely clear that I'm I'm pro science this question comes from Emma who writes dear John and Hank I have a distinct problem for the first 16 years of my life I thought my name was Emma that spelled E-M-M-A however upon my attempt to acquire a learner's permit I found out that there was a clerical error on my birth certificate making my legal name Emma that is Emma spelled with three M-E-M-M-M-A to be clear this spelling was not intended by my parents however they seem to find my mutant beast of a name absolutely hilarious and take every opportunity to remind me of it obviously I am distraught the problem with my name is causing an inordinate amount of anxiety for me I mean is it better now that we're laughing at you Emma and perhaps it's something philosophical about the teenage struggle for identity no I don't think it's not I think it's maybe that your name is spelled E-M-M-M-A oh how is this how is it pronounced though John how is Emma with three M's put it out so like is it just having it worse or is it like make it worse make it worse I'm having a hard time figuring out if my fears are legitimate thus I've turned to the pod oh great idea so am I being too uptight should I pretend this clerical error never happened or should I own the new spelling well I'm worried that it's going to end up on your driver's license too like no you should not own the new spelling Jesus Christ well I don't know it's just like hey why is your name Emma with three M's oh because like 16 years ago somebody misread a form okay but John I was I just want to point out that Emma signs off the quality of mercy is not strained Emma or possibly Emma but Rosiana has put the person's name at the top of the question as she does yeah and it's filled it with three M's I mean I believe it's pronounced M-M-M-A right Emma-M-M-M-A I think it's no I think it's just Emma oh that's what it you're absolutely right you just have to you have to settle more into the most so it's like Emma yeah that's not bad by the way that quote is from Shakespeare and it's a very good sign off Emma it's really lovely and so if nothing else you've got a great sign off going for you which is a wonderful start and then I think that probably the next step is um yeah you should go ahead and legally change your name to the name that is your name because the government should not get to decide how many M's are in your name I don't want to sound like too much of a libertarian Emma but I do think that there are some places that the government should stay out of including the number of M's and Emma do I mean do just stick with it stick with the three M's because who else has that who else has that story everybody from now on is going to look at your driver's license and think I didn't know your name had three M's in it and you're gonna be like funny story and also I was on this podcast and they told me to keep it so I did the one of the brothers was wrong and he told me to change it and I disobeyed him directly and then I read a letter to Hank about how right he was and how great he is not since I said that aluminum foil can't be judged by science have I heard such do-be-a-city that's ludicrous that's terrible advice Emma I mean look the thing is Hank she will have the story for the rest of her life she needs to do is like photocopy the birth certificate and keep it in her pocket and like for the rest of life she's gonna have a hilarious story I mean Hank is right Emma that this is a very funny story like I understand that current you is really unhappy about the situation and I don't blame you because it is an unpleasant situation to be in at the age of 16 when you're trying to get your driver's license future you is going to find this as funny as your parents do and like so there is you need to hold on to some memories of Emma but I don't think you need to hold on to the name as your name if you don't want to all right I feel I feel as if we have both made our cases this next question comes from comes from Cassandra with three S's Dear Hank and John recently named my boyfriend broke up to irreconcitable differences a couple of days ago his name was Ryan and I'm not even joking I'm generally doing okay post break up however the situation is left me with a serious quandary who gets custody over the teddy bear we made together at build a bear cinnamon sticks and hockey pucks Cassandra does he want it I mean does anyone want it in a long long long run is this not a bear that would be best suited with an entirely new family I mean have you seen the ending of Toy Story 3 that's where we're at here yeah I think we're in a Toy Story 3 kind of moment no spoilers and I think that maybe in the even in the medium run it might not be that helpful for you to have the bear and I don't think it would be that helpful for him to have the bear but I do think it would be helpful for somebody to have the bear who could really love that bear and and care for it in fact if you is like the problem is you don't want to throw the bear away you don't want to say no you you bear I'll take the bear do you want to send me the bear I'll pay for no Hank that's no Hank you are not a good home for the bear I guess you could give it to Orin on the other hand I would submit that Orin among the world's children is perhaps you know yeah bear it up yeah I mean he's probably reasonably bear it up so maybe uh donate the bear somewhere I feel like I don't know bears well the thing is it's like a custom bear it's got like it's got memories of this particular situation inside of it you know people are probably a surplus of build a bear's that have memories attached to them that people feel a little bit weirded out by but anybody who's listening to this podcast I feel like they'll be aware enough of the story that they'll want to you know give the bear a good home and avoid any you know nasty custody battles okay so if you listen or are in a situation where you need a bear a build a bear bear high quality build a bear bear available now by the way this person has not agreed to make her bear available but Hank and I think it's the right thing to do let us know on the patreon at patreon.com slash dear Hank and john you can access it even if you don't donate if you need a bear yeah what you would need a bear for and we Cassandra if you are ready to say goodbye to that bear if this relationship is really over and it sounds like it is I think maybe if you're willing to give it up and no pressure if you're not we can find a good home for it the bear's name is Crawford by the way Crawford the bear made at Navy Pier in Chicago it sounds like a lovely and sad story but I think that the I think that there's a happy resolutions that can occur I agree I I am inclined to agree it's still it's a sad situation I had a similar issue with an actual cat not a stuffed cat but a live cat named pants when my college girlfriend and I broke up and the pants situation still bugs me that's one another question from Rachel who writes dear john and Hank I recently went out with some friends and the phrase came up beer before liquor never been sicker liquor before beer and you're in the clear I feel like this is not actually a thing since it's just all ethanol right it simply depends on how much you drink have you experienced this phenomenon and do you think the saying is true still alive Rachel well I'm glad you didn't dive alcohol poisoning good boy maybe that's just just generally her sign off not to do with the specifics of this question I feel like as a sign off here's my issue with it as a sign off it is a little bit redundant right yes well you are typing at the moment so there is that's my concern Hank you and I are going to answer this question differently because you presumably have done some like scientific research on it whereas I have something more powerful than science called anecdote hit me with that anecdote but boy so I've gone both ways and my experience has been that if you drink a lot you will feel sick and you will feel sick the next day and once you hit about the age of 37 you will also feel sick the day after the next day yeah so don't just don't drink to excess and if you find yourself like regularly drinking to excess and not able to not drink to excess you have to pursue not hangover remedies but instead treatment options well I will so I there definitely isn't a lot of hard science here there may be something to the fact that you make it a little more water with your drink if you are if you're drinking beer second because maybe you drink longer because here's the thing it's definitely a psychological thing more than it's a hard science thing I think that when you are drunk you drink more so when you're not drawn that is definitely true so if you start with liquor and then you're like I'm a little bit drunk and then you move over to beer it's harder to get really really drunk on at least you know your average American beer I mean it's super possible super oh it's not that it's not that hard but it's easy it's easier to know what you're drinking when you're drinking beer whereas when you're drinking liquor you know shots like a shot glass of a slightly different size can have way more alcohol in it a you know a mixed drink can have way more alcohol in it like you don't really know how much alcohol is in a mixed drink so I think it's easier to drink more when you're drinking liquor I don't think it's impossible to drink a lot when you drink a beer but I think that that is that is where this this saying came from is that when you once you are drunk if you switch to beer you're getting a little bit more water with your drinking and also you may not be you may not end up drinking as much as if you get a little bit drunk on beer and then you switch to liquor and start going way way overboard and not knowing how overboard you're going because you're already drunk so that's I think that's where it comes from but like absolutely you can get super sick both ways and so drink do not drink to excess because it's not fun it might be fun it's not no a few years ago my best friend Chris gave me a piece of advice that to quote Gatsby I forget the quote I've been turning over in my mind ever since I think anyway the piece of advice was this we were at a party and I had a beer in my hand and Chris looked at me and he said you know what nobody ever regretted the next morning and I said what and he said not having the last beer it's a great great point I want to thank Chris but if you follow that line of reasoning all the way down you never have any beers well yeah yeah this certainly is a regret but it's good advice especially when it comes to the last beer I also want to thank John for really just cruising past the part where I called him buddy boy and not making a big deal out of my weird decision there I literally didn't hear that but it's just one more example of how extremely dubious this entire episode of the plot has been this question comes from Emily oh wait did I read the last one you did this question comes from Ben who has to scare a good John poor Emily I will get there I was considering a YouTube red subscription however I don't know if it's worth the money I recently saw Hank going a lengthy Twitter spree about YouTube red I'm nervous about the side effects how much do creators make off a youtuber without ads Ben well let me summarize quickly we get a percentage of the revenue that you give to YouTube and a YouTube red viewer is definitely always worth more to a creator than a advertising supported user like at least two or three times more although in the current environment with ad rates I would say in the toilet is perhaps an understatement like whatever is below the toilet is the YouTube ad situation at the moment yeah somewhere it's somewhere downstream from the toilet is the YouTube ad situation you know I think at this point it's kind of at this treatment plant they're trying to figure it out trying to make it so a little bit less gross before they face that's exactly correct so I would say at this point YouTube red viewer might be worth five to some creators even ten times as much as a as an ad supported user so certainly YouTube red is good for creators yeah but but also like if you know if you don't know if it's worth the money for you like I think it should be worth the money for you oh absolutely and if you want to help creators supported by patreon goes way farther than even a YouTube red subscription like a hundred times further yeah I mean you I have YouTube red because I like it and because an ad for YouTube is worth it to me and also because it comes free with a Google play music subscription so I was able to get rid of my Spotify subscription which I will never say again it's Spotify just agrees to sponsor this podcast however until they do I'm gonna tell you the truth which is that I got rid of Spotify for Google play music and then I've basically got YouTube red for free and I'm kind of confused why everyone doesn't do that but maybe maybe lots of people don't have paid subscriptions to Spotify which brings me to the fact that this podcast is brought to you of course by YouTube red YouTube red sure why not yeah no it's like it's like a Spotify plus ad for YouTube that actually that actually sounded like a proper sponsorship Hank that was as close as we can we didn't get paid for that we did we do kind of get paid yeah but but more but more more the case is by I guess about you by patreon a place where you can support really great independent creators directly and they very very small percentage goes to the upkeep and maintenance of patreon's actual business because they are really creative focused and they are great patreon.com slash deer hank and john we've got to get rid of the actual sponsorships though Hank so today's podcast is brought to you by build a bear custody battles build a bear custody battles coming soon to a theater near you does podcast is also brought to you by messages of mortality which was brought to you by your pizza delivery man messages of mortality available now in spite of your pizza apparently and most importantly today's podcast is brought to you by the forces of democracy the forces of democracy just to be absolutely clear I'm in favor of them good okay okay how's this all right this question comes from emily who writes deer john and hank hey guys okay so I have this problem my problem is that for as long as I can remember my uncle has always greeted me by asking emily may what the hey every time he sees me like the rhyme itself is not a problem in fact I find it to be cute my issue is that what the hey is just not a thing that people ask each other what does it even mean I'm not sure if it's even hey like you know like hey or hey as in hello how am I supposed to answer this nonsensical question what the hey emily john do you know that here in montana we have a thing called what the hey which is where I don't know if this is everywhere uh where they dress up hay bales as like minions or like snowman or whatever and they call it they call it they call it what the hey and and everybody makes elman and it's like minions have totally taken over what the hey it's so like it's like uh not it is a bit disappointing but there's some really great what the hey if you google what the hey hay you can see some good good montana hey creations but I don't think that's what emily's uncle is referencing I think what emily's uncle was doing in all likelihood is saying something that he has been saying to emily may since she was like zero years old like uh like chris always sings this song whenever he sees henry he sings uh henry adicus emin fngreen uh and until until henry was like two he sang the actual song if you catch my gift uh and then and then he he has since then censored it but like it is so far it's just a result of having spent a lot of time with someone as a baby and like singing nonsense songs to them and saying nonsense things to them to get them to sort of babble back at you and so emily may what the hey is your uncle's way of trying to say I love you in a way you can only imagine that you cannot even fully glimpse because for much of the period that I have been loving you you were like you know semi-conscious so I think I have to respond to it just by saying like I love you uncle joe or maybe just be like uh you know uncle joe what do you know like maybe think of a rhyme that involves his name good advice john I appreciate that and I've now I feel bad I don't have like fun names for name rhymes for henry and alice I'll work on it this episode of fear hank and don't sprout you by shopify there are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me and that is what shopify makes it easier when you start with shopify the tools to design and launch and take payments they're all there from day one you don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business and this is important because you also have to look good and with shopify's templates you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together and when things look real that works on my brain to be like I'm doing a real thing it also works on other people's brains to be like this is legitimate shopify also has one of the best check out systems on the internet it's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks returning customers can check out with a single click that means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody that stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing you're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work you're not wondering whether customers can get through the process shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do it's really kind of amazing to me the Shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftva.com or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark when you build a Shopify you're building with tools that already work at every scale all you need is the idea Shopify handles the rest you can start your free trial at Shopify.com slash deerhank start your free trial at Shopify.com slash deerhank with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. 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All day and the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when those summer nights cool down so that's why I'm wearing quince this summer and you can make your summer wardrobe easier by going to quince.com slash deerhank for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too that's q-u-i-n-c-e.com slash deerhank for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash deerhank. is that it is 2.30 pm and that you did not eat lunch. What are you gonna do? Are you gonna get meal delivery that's gonna cost too much and maybe be a bit of a mistake or are you gonna go to the cupboard and just eat several fistfuls of peanuts.
Those are my two choices unless I have a factor in the fridge. You can get smoky barbecue chicken breast with potato mash, cream corn and peppers. You can get creamy lemon pepper chicken with veggie rice peel off broccoli and carrots. This has the fiber I need.
It has the protein I need and it has the deliciousness I need. What about garlic herb roasted barramundi with potato zucchini and burr blanc sauce. I don't really know what that means but it sounds delicious. What about a black bean taco bowl with corn salsa and cilantro crema?
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With new subscription only, while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See website for more details. This question is from Ananama's deerhankajan. I'm a high school senior and this week I was rejected from four colleges.
I got accepted to a couple but all the ones near the top of the list did not accept me. I'm trying to stay positive and remind myself that I have a wonderful opportunity to choose between schools that did accept me but it's hard because all these rejections make me feel a lot of self-doubt. Any advice through this process would be really helpful. You both mean a lot to me.
Crumbling under the weight of my own existence, anonymous. Hey did you get into all the colleges where you applied? Well John I only applied to two but yes. Yeah I mean so I applied to like a bunch of colleges.
Well here's my secret to getting into only two colleges John. I didn't apply to any good schools. Well I mean the school you went through was a good school but you didn't apply to any like Ivy League schools or anything. Yeah I wasn't trying to get in any place like super special.
Yeah. I think that where you go to college is important but maybe not for the reasons that you think it will be important when you are a high school junior or senior. A lot of times like where I went to college was very important but I also didn't get into probably the five best schools I applied to and I'm very grateful for that because if I hadn't gone to the college where I ended up going I would not have moved to Chicago after graduating from college and I would therefore not have met Sarah and I would therefore have a vastly different life. So like when I think about what was really important about college like the classes were really important I learned a lot of things that I've been able to apply to my professional and personal life but the single most important thing was geography that allowed me to meet my wife.
Yeah I mean like I also think that there are a huge number of great schools. There are and there are very small number of schools that will help you just through virtue of their reputation. Right. And I almost think like in terms of like that's kind of weird anyway.
Like if you're being helped just by the fact that you went to a school that people would like recognize the name. That doesn't necessarily say anything about what you learned. But there like overall there are a lot of great schools in America that no one's ever heard of and and you will have no idea whether or not a school is good for you until basically you're done. But I think as long as you like come into it with the right mindset and the right goals and like and want to take on college with sort of an open mind and a spirit of like I like this is exciting and I'm going to make myself a better person for these next four years.
Like I think I get a lot out of school. Wherever you go. Yeah I mean there are definitely some colleges where it's easier to get a good education than others because they're you know student centered or you know or learning centered or whatever or easier to get a good education in different subjects. But I would argue that the vast majority of American universities are places where you can get a good education.
So you're going to it's going to be okay. I remember being very disappointed about the places I didn't get into. Although I got into the college I most wanted to attend even if it wasn't like technically the best according to the rankings. But also I wouldn't put a ton of stock in those rankings.
I think you know it's measuring the quality of an education is not something that numbers are particularly good at doing. I agree John do you have another question for us. I don't but I have a number of responses to things. Oh first you might remember it Sarah of the Girl Scout cookies she wrote in to say Dear John and Hank it's Sarah the Girl Scout and I wanted to let you know you guys know that with your help we managed to donate 78 boxes of cookies for the food pantry which is really great.
It's not 378 but it's still a lot so thank you to everybody who donated and bought Sarah's Girl Scout cookies through the link that we read out loud that has really made me very happy. Then a number of people wrote in on the topic of snakes because we suggested I guess to a kid named Devin that Devin sneak a snake onto the campus of Devin's new college that turns out to have been bad advice at least according to a number of college administrators who wrote in to let us know that in general snakes are not welcome in dormitories. Really I feel like there's got to be like some dorms that allow snakes and I feel like aluminum foil must be chemically special but apparently I'm also wrong. Susan wrote in as well to say Dear John and Hank I don't have a question I just wanted to thank you it's one of the best emails we've ever received Hank I met a guy with a tattoo that says Moratori Te Salutant because I had just listened to the podcast where you explained what that means I was able to show off my knowledge and this Friday we are going on our second date arrows and otters Susan.
I mean it remains to be seen Susan whether it is proves to be good news or bad news that you are going on a second date with someone who has a tattoo that says those who are about to die salute you but I hope that it works out I think it's a pretty cool Latin phrase and I think I mean just don't feel pressure from us to get married. Yeah no that's definitely not the we're okay yeah just a date is good enough for us yeah we're delighted about the situation. Can I read to you a quote from from 800 different emails that we got? Yes.
It's just a direct quote it was in all 800 of them. John OMG it's bath bomb not bath ball. Yeah come on. I know I would like to apologize to my friends at Lush Cosmetics for calling their bath bombs bath balls however I would also like them to apologize to me Hank and I waited until the end of the pod to tell this story because I don't want to in any way damage the amazing reputation of my personal sponsor Lush Cosmetics however one of the bath bombs so I've been using these bath bombs pretty regularly and they're fantastic you can find a picture in fact of me using one of them on the patreon at patreon.com slash during the john however one of the bath bombs it was shaped kind of like a yellow and white pill and I put it in my bath and I was like oh this is so lovely I am just having the most relaxing experience and then at the very center of the bath bomb there was this sort of silvery stuff and I was like that's weird god what a great bath I'm having and I had like a nice 30 minute bath and then I got out of the bath and I love this story already my beautiful lovely wife who is not totally sold on this whole me using bath bombs in every bath thing looked at me and said John you are literally covered in glitter.
Oh yeah I mean not only was I covered in glitter but I would say that I like five days later there is still a fair amount of glitter on my body that's not sticky. Oh that's awesome I love that. I love that. There's glitter there's like a glitter pocket inside of it.
Yeah oh there should be a special warning the other day John this is starting to happen to me this is very unrelated but I was drinking what appeared to be seltzerwater and then I started to feel like I had some caffeine and I looked and there was caffeine in it it wasn't branded as an energy drink it was like branded as like a low calorie soda thing and I was enjoying it and like you can't just throw caffeine and stuff and not put it on like the front label and say caffeine in this and I also had a cliff bar that had caffeine in it and no you can't do that to a guy I freak out okay that's that's just like having your entire body covered in glitter um except it's just my soul that's my former soul is for me for me for me for me for me I'm gonna get in here at some point forwarding pastor Tom wrote in to say dear friends a couple episodes ago you answered a question regarding signatures in which John's old signature was brought up and then Tom has a copy of looking for Alaska from March 12th 2005 which is like less than a week I think nine days maybe after the book first came out uh has my old signature on it and we're gonna post that on the picture on so that you can see what my old signature looked like second to last we received several emails from friends or acquaintances of uh the 14th most powerful Canadian uh Gerald Butts an astonishing number of dear Hank and John listeners know uh either Gerald Butts himself or our friends with Gerald Butts or slow danced with Gerald Butts his friend Justin Trudeau uh when when they were in high school it's absolutely overwhelming the number of people who know Gerald Butts it makes me think that Canada is indeed one of those countries where literally everyone knows literally everyone else and lastly lastly you gotta give that you gotta give the best that best little note at the end of that one John what is it that Gerald Butts well if you're wondering really loves Brisketta or however that's pronounced uh I think it's pronounced I think it's pronounced Priscetta but I'm not totally uh positive however that is a little bit of Gerald Butts trivia for you Gerald Butts fans out there and lastly and perhaps most importantly we received the following email from Sarah dear John and Hank Jeffrey Potaterson has become self-aware Jeffrey Potaterson um who if you're a longtime hardcore listener to tear Hank and John you will remember from a previous episode after months of not accepting friend requests from literally hundreds of listeners Jeffrey Potaterson has accepted all of our friend requests and has become like pretty excited about uh his new found platform yeah yeah he's posted it he posted uh Jeffrey Potaterson is feeling excited haven't been on it a long time didn't think I'd become so popular it's good yeah I noticed I noticed when he added me as a friend and then immediately I started getting messages on Twitter being like I'm friends with Jeff Potaterson Hank it happened and he's posting again and uh I'm just so happy for Jeffy Potaterson hey what's the news from Mars oh right I know the news from Mars this week do you know which news from Mars I'm gonna give you I hope it's the news where uh while talking to an astronaut president Donald Trump promised to get a human being on on the surface of Mars by the end of his administration you know that wasn't gonna be my news uh because I feel like that more what he's saying than like I'm gonna get you to tomorrow's in the next four years is I plan on being president for the next 75 years no he said he'd like it to be done in his first term but it will definitely be done in his second term which means it would happen by 2024 which also means that I'm gonna throw this out there and I don't we don't like to get political on the pod but I don't know that um president Donald Trump has a great sense of what it would take to get a human being to Mars of like what exactly Mars is no I think he knows what Mars is I don't think I think he is a I think he is a person who likes to make bold promises yes he does yes it oh yeah what's the news that doesn't seem to do able to me I'll be honest with you I'm pretty I'm not very optimistic about hitting my own date uh but it's interesting that he would yeah he'd just say that without like talking to anybody at NASA at all about where we're at with the Space Launch System which is not ready to go to Mars anytime but anyway I guess I wish him luck I was gonna talk about uh so building things on Mars is important because you have to have places for people to live and uh and taking things to Mars is very hard and so we would like to take as little as possible with us when we go to Mars so uh we have now been able to in the lab create a fairly good substitute for what Mars soil is like or dirt on Mars or regolith or whatever and they uh have been thinking you know it would be great if we could build structures out of the stuff that's already on Mars that way not only you know do they have the ways to live but also we could protect astronauts from cosmic rays and uh and so like maybe we could make bricks from from the regolith on Mars and the you know the thought was we'd have to bring some kind of binder with us or we would have a microbe that would like turn because on earth you can't do this like you need a binder to make to make clay into a brick or a bunch of heat and etc so uh we bring like a microbe that would turn like human waste into this byproduct that we could mix with the soil and then bake it and turn it into a brick but they found that actually because of the iron oxide in martian soil if you just press it you just take a bunch of Mars soil at least the simulations for it that we have right now you just compress it really hard the iron oxide will sort of break down into like flat little sheets and then stick to itself because it likes to likes to be with itself and so it breaks down into like flat things at like tiny microscopic structures that will create a like a brick like structure and it requires as far as we can tell no extra ingredients so you just have automatic Martian bricks and all you need is to apply a fair amount of pressure but the kind of pressure that could easily be applied by an electrical press of some kind and boom Martian bricks to build houses out of which uh is exciting that is very exciting you know what is not exciting oh the month of april hank every month every football team um has this thing where they every football team in the whole world is like every month like let's vote on our goal of the month like here are the top three nominees for goal of the month which which of these amazing goals will be you know our team's goal of the month AFC Wimbledon has not scored a goal in the month of april still got that drop going it's like they're like well we're safe so it's just yeah it's fine there's there's there's so they're enjoying being safe so much that they have now gone five five games without scoring a goal uh during those five games they've picked up two points both Neil Niel draws against one against Swindon town one against peterboro they lost three Niel to Bradford city a score that uh from the accounts i could find on twitter it seemed to rather flatter AFC Wimbledon and uh yeah and now they're about to play their sixth uh game of april um and hopefully maybe on april 30th they will score and then there will be a goal of the month they will not need to be a vote because it will just be the one goal it'll definitely be that one two goals and you can you can pick one they can fight it out between the two goals of the month yeah so i mean look the great news and it is really great news i don't want to minimize it is that AFC Wimbledon are safe they are going down another season in league one the bad news is that um if uh if you could be judged on how you finish uh well let's just say you shouldn't be judged on how you finish uh one game left in the season for AFC Wimbledon uh and it is against oldum another team that is completely safe and also is playing for nothing so maybe we'll find a way to win it or not lose it or even lose two one um the quick so john are you gonna be below the the the the mk whatever the very likely going to finish uh below the franchise currently playing it's straight in Milton keens yes it's not it's not inevitable uh Milton keens sitting on 58 points AFC Wimbledon sitting on 56 so if Wimbledon win and Milton keens lose uh then it would happen otherwise probably not we'll see we'll see there is still something to play for because i think that's would not be an insignificant accomplishment all right john what did we learn today uh well we learned that there's nothing special about aluminum foil it's heat itself that's so weird and we learned that if the people at the hospital put a name on your birthday ticket that's your name and and and that's great and you can be a my if you want to be but also according to Hank you have to be um uh regardless of whether you want to be didn't say have to i just that's a good story oh it's a great story we learned that you should never ever ever tell people that they are going to die while delivering them a pizza and we learned that drinking to excess is bad no matter what you use to do it with john thanks for potting me today well we're not done potting just yet because we gotta have to go record this week and ryan's or hit comedy podcast that's available only via our patreon at patreon.com so you're hanking john uh this week you know we're discussing this week Hank oh no no i didn't realize you had one well that's how it works i pick the ryan's and then you quickly read their Wikipedia pages while recording the podcast this week i chose to make it very hard for you by talking about ryan babble the dutch footballer oh god if you want to ask us a question you can do so at hank and john at gmail.com or you can use the hashtag dear hank and john on twitter where hank is hank green and i am occasionally john green but mostly leon must for earth or sports with john uh this podcast is produced by riziana hals rohas and shared it gives in it is edited by nicholas jankins the story of john jr head of community and communications and our music is by the great ganarola hank thank you again for potting with me and thanks to everybody for listening as we say in our hometown don't forget to be awesome