94. When a Group Chat Goes in Circles — And You Leave Feeling Like You’re the Problem

If you’ve ever left a group chatreplaying everything you said…and everything you didn’t…and somehow landed on‘that felt off… was that me?’this episode is for you.Because this isn’t just about group chats.Or school committees.Or awkward conversations that go nowhere.It’s about what happens when everyone in the roomis solving a different problem…and no one realises it.In this episode, we unpack the kind of interaction that looks normal on the surface — calm, polite, ‘reasonable’ — but leaves you carrying it for hours (or days). The replaying, the second-guessing, the quiet shift into ‘I must have handled that wrong.’And why that feeling doesn’t mean what you think it means.🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:Why some conversations go in circles and never actually resolveWhat’s really happening when everyone sounds ‘right’ but nothing landsHow different brains track completely different things in the same conversationWhy tension builds even when no one is being openly confrontationalThe moment a conversation stops being about the topic — and becomes about identityWhy you leave interactions with a version of yourself you didn’t walk in withHow group chats split into side conversations (and why that regulates people)The hidden role of fairness, meaning, effort, and threat in communicationWhy your brain keeps replaying it later — even when it’s ‘over’What it actually means when something feels ‘off’ (and why that matters)💭 This episode is for you if:You replay conversations long after they’ve finishedYou leave group chats feeling uncomfortable but can’t explain whyYou’ve thought ‘did I make that worse?’You pick up on tension that others seem to missYou feel responsible for smoothing things over (even when you didn’t start it)You carry interactions into your night, your drive, your quiet moments🎁 Free Resource ADHD Self-Testhttps://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/If you’ve ever wondered‘Why do I experience conversations like this?’this is a helpful starting point.🎧 Related EpisodesWhy You Keep Waking at 3am — And It’s Not Just Anxietyhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-26-why-you-keep-waking-at-3am-and-its-not-just-anxiety/Why You’re Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Insteadhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-18-quick-reset-why-youre-bad-at-asking-for-help-and-what-to-do-insteToo Exhausted to Be the Parent You Want to Behttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/too-exhausted-to-be-the-parent-you-want-to-be