"A SHINING EXAMPLE OF HOW AN HONEST, KIND, STRONG, AND RESPONSIBLE MAN LIVES HIS LIFE" by Dana Whtvr

I set down my flaming sword long enough to stare into a hunting trip photo at my Grandfather's memorial. It shows two men, and him between them in a dress and wig-hilarious joke (everyone laughed), "abomination" an Uncle scoffs casual-like now, tells story: "that's the ugliest woman I ever saw" man driving by says to man in passenger seat (everyone laughs). See: sadness and shame felt in my painted toenails hidden in socks, the tie too tight around my neck, clueless compliments about my long hair and hoops. Retell the story a different way: at 10, a buck strung for skinning from the eaves; the droppings he cut out and put in my palm. I can never breathe in church, but this morning I took communion for the first time in 9 years, for the old man-God knows why. Over his grave beside his stillborn first daughter's, I become the hospital where he died-Queen of the Valley (think meanest motherfucker: full crown of antlers on my head, long locks of weeping willow dyed with blood trailing in the wind, time turned back on itself, a naked Eve naming all the animals). Pulling my dress off the hanger, I bear witness: the empty center of the universe like a liver spot; wind in my hair, sun on my bare shoulders; and under the ground, hidden in the urn, his miserable ashes in drag. *Title quoted from the obituary for James E. Fidler published in the Napa Valley Register, 08/28/2017 (http://napavalleyregister.com/lifestyles/announcements/obituaries/james-e-fidler/article_65807aa0-9a66-5a83-a859-8be03d18c1c7.html). --------------------------------------- SUPPORT US ON PATREON: http://patreon.com/voicemailpoems http://voicemailpoems.org/guidelines http://facebook.com/voicemailpoems http://twitter.com/voicemailpoems http://voicemailpoems.org/thepodcast