Allostasis

I’m very busy on a molecular levelWhether I’m tending to my choresOr lying on the couchAnd I’ve decided to prioritizeThat natural, constant, underlying motionOf the dozen or so systems of my bodyModeling harmonyWorking togetherWith each otherAnd with the dynamic inputs of the worldTo keep my heart beatingAnd keep this organismIn homeostasisIt’s no small taskBut our bodies are exceptional at itYet when profound stressors comeAllostasis kicks inNatural processes responding to intensityMaintaining stability through changeAnd bridging backTo allow homeostasis againMore inherent wisdomTaking active stepsTo accommodate any number of possibilitiesAnd most of the timeAll of this is happening without our knowledge or consentOr interferenceMy poor, misguided brainAnd all those years thinking it was in chargeTrying to direct the boat instead of take the rideI’ve been sad numerous times todayThinking about the unnecessary pain i’ve put myself throughMy agony about the world and angst to improve itAll those moments thinking to be OK I had to be ‘there’I’ve got a lot of compassionBut I also sense a belligerenceSo much underlying angerAnd a frightened “BUT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IT RIGHT”So many times when I sit and touch peaceThese voices pipe upAbout how much better it could be if I …I know it’s an illusionI know I live in a culture of performance optimizersBut I just want to cozy up with the invisible possibilitiesTo feel companionship with the unseenNot trying to bend it to my willBut to listen for its musicAnd sway alongThis period of overt destabilization has me tentativeWitnessing my situation more than directing it(again the echoes inviting me to engage the power of my mindAnd I have to take several breaths to remind myselfI’m choosing a different path)And today I’ve been able to marvel at itHow well our furniture fits into this houseI feel like I’m being welcomedAnd while I’ve got a whole lot to doI’m feeling the resonance of the space itselfAnd tuning myself gentlyBecause I get to choose how I meet this momentAnd it’s not going to be yelling at myself to do moreBecause I’m sensitive to the delicate, invisible workThat underpins any other form of accomplishmentAnd the foundation developing nowCan see and appreciate and nurtureThe harmonyAnd the way back to itAs intelligence itselfChoreographs our moleculesEven the stillness is alive This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com