Alone in the Crowd

Can you distinguish surrender from giving up? Can you see the space between letting go and not caring? Can you find the peace without the isolation? Can you be alone in the crowd and surrounded in silence?It’s hard for me to let go of something that I want without making my response negative. Whether that’s giving up on it ever happening or pretending that I no longer care, I can see the attachment to the outcome and feel myself creating a wall that keeps the hurt away.But these days, I’m trying something different. I’m trying to tell myself not now, or not that way, or not this time. I’m trying to hold my conviction that the things that truly matter to me, to my development, to my becoming are in fact going to happen, or at least I’m going to have the opportunity to make them happen. And so, even when I am forced to turn away, it doesn’t have to be forever. I can be alone and held, I can be at peace without being alone. I can find hope in the moment as long as I choose to do so.As you read this, I wonder:* Can you treat your misses or your failures with the nuance you reserve for your victories?* Can you accept the times you are alone and find in them the time to renew your commitment and your faith?* Can you find a way to hold your core even when the world is wildly spinning around you?I firmly believe that we do not choose what happens. We don’t have nearly as much control as we would like to. But I also believe that the things that matter are coming and we always have another chance, another choice. As you begin the week, can you see the choice in front of you and have the conviction to try again? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com