A Constant Becoming

Can you distinguish surrender from giving up? Can you see the space between letting go and not caring? Can you find the peace without the isolation? Can you be alone in the crowd and surrounded in silence?It’s hard for me to let go of something that I want without making my response negative. Whether that’s giving up on it ever happening or pretending that I no longer care, I can see the attachment to the outcome and feel myself creating a wall that keeps the hurt away.But these days, I’m trying something different. I’m trying to tell myself not now, or not that way, or not this time. I’m trying to hold my conviction that the things that truly matter to me, to my development, to my becoming are in fact going to happen, or at least I’m going to have the opportunity to make them happen. And so, even when I am forced to turn away, it doesn’t have to be forever. I can be alone and held, I can be at peace without being alone. I can find hope in the moment as long as I choose to do so.As you read this, I wonder:* Can you treat your misses or your failures with the nuance you reserve for your victories?* Can you accept the times you are alone and find in them the time to renew your commitment and your faith?* Can you find a way to hold your core even when the world is wildly spinning around you?I firmly believe that we do not choose what happens. We don’t have nearly as much control as we would like to. But I also believe that the things that matter are coming and we always have another chance, another choice. As you begin the week, can you see the choice in front of you and have the conviction to try again? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you have faith in your ability to take action? Can you have confidence in your intentions? Can you be certain that you are seen by those who matter? Can you just keep moving ahead?For those of you who are Disney fans, the title of today’s post may be familiar. It’s from the movie Meet the Robinsons. While I will not engage in a movie review, it truly is one of my favorite movies and one that is not as well known as many in the Disney catalog. The idea of continuing to move forward is simply that. That no matter how many times we don’t achieve our objectives, there is an opportunity to move forward and keep trying.And trying is not just putting the effort in, it’s being willing to be seen, both in the highs and in the lows. And it’s knowing that the people who truly love you will help, not by telling you that you succeeded when you didn’t or that it’s OK when it’s not; but instead by telling you to get up and keep moving ahead.As you read this I wonder:* What would you describe as a recent failure?* What was the intention behind your action? Was your action a true reflection of the intention?* Can you keep moving forward to the next incarnation of that intention?People will talk about dusting yourself off and trying again. I think the magic is in what you are trying. If you are trying for an outcome, you may never succeed. But if you are trying for a pure expression of your intention, you almost always do, even when the result is not what you imagined. As we close the week, can you feel the energy in intent more than the judgment in outcome? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you see the opportunity in front of you? Can you know it is there even if you don't know the form it will take? Can you hold on to your belief in what is to come? Can you see all sides of it, the good and the bad, the challenging and the exciting, the joy and the struggle? All of it is in front of you and belongs to you. Can you keep moving?There’s always something in front of us. Sometimes we can see it clearly and sometimes we think we can even if we cannot. We, as humans, are obsessive forecasters, always looking for what is ahead and for what comes next. But, the hard work is believing in the opportunity even when you cannot see it and you cannot name it.I truly believe the universe is always bringing us opportunities. And regardless of how we choose, more choices and more opportunities are coming to us. Not all of those choices will be pleasant. Not every opportunity will be comfortable or easy. But they keep coming. The secret I think is to keep our eyes open and recognize what we are being offered even when we choose not to take it.As you read this I wonder:* What is right in front of you now that you are considering?* How will you decide what choice you will make?* Do you believe that regardless of the choice you make today, more chances, more choices are coming to you tomorrow?We don’t have to do anything to be offered choices. However, we do have to be willing to see what is ahead and choose (or choose not to). Can you be willing to both see what is in front of you and to know that what you see is only a small portion of the choices to come? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you hope without grasping? Can you know what you want without needing to have it? Can you let your hopes lift you up rather than tie you down? Can you see that hope should be a positive? Whether your hope arrives or not, the lift that comes with it is leading you to a better place.Hope may be the most important thing we have as humans. It allows us to persevere, to dream, to create, to do all manner of things that require us to struggle and survive. But there’s a downside to hope. There’s the comparison of what we hope for with what we have. Hope keeps us going but, if we are not careful, it can be the flip side of disappointment and of comparing everything to the ideal.Hope should make us more content, not less. It should allow us to accept what is while we pursue what could be. It should be a force for moving toward rather than moving away. For me, it should be but sometimes it is not. Sometimes it is pulling me down a rabbit hole and distracting me from this day with dreams of some day. And then the energy of hope is holding me down rather than lifting me up.As you read this I wonder:* What is the one thing you most hope for today?* Can you accept a future in which that hope is never realized?* Can you imagine it might be better than you even hoped?We should not underestimate the power of hope but we also should not give it power over us and our path. As you start the week, can you use hope to move you toward tomorrow and to recognize the wonder of today? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

What do you do when the end of the story seems to change? How do you adapt to a new ending, a new path? Will you fight your way back to the path you imagined? Will you accept what you see laid out in front of you? Or can you suspend expectation and walk each path as if it is the path and never feel the change?I’ve told you before that one of my challenges is not becoming overly focused on the end of the story, the end of the path, the final destination. We live a life where, as circumstances change, so do the possibilities in front of us. But some of those possibilities are dear to us and when they disappear or become less likely, there is a loss.The question is how we respond to that loss. Earlier in my life, I responded by fighting my way back, by looking for another way to achieve the same end state. This involved a lot of analysis and effort, typically only to have circumstances change again. And while there genuinely are ends worth fighting for, most of those ends for me are more about who is in my life than how it goes.As you read this I wonder:* How has your story changed in the last day, the last week, the last month?* How committed are you to how it ends?* What can you do to commit to less but fight for the smaller pieces that matter?I’m committed to fighting to keep love alive in my soul through those few people who magnify it for me. I’m committed to holding those people close. But that opens up all kinds of paths and all kinds of ends. As we end the week, can you examine your commitments and be sure they are the ones you want? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you accept the quiet moments? Can you avoid filling the silence with fear, with hope, with plans? Can you be willing to be, without judgment, without rushing? Can what is be enough without needing to know what's next?One of my very good friends lives a life filled with noise and activity. She is constantly moving from place to place and thing to thing with never a moment for quiet. She longs for the quiet moments. At a different time in life where I live now, the quiet moments are more frequent. And confronting them can be uncomfortable.It’s hard to sit with nothing. There are whole schools of thought on the power of doing this but they are consistent in noting it is challenging. As humans, we abhor a vacuum in our minds. We want to fill it with something, with a plan, with a fear, with what’s next. The restless mind moves. But there is a real power in quieting that motion and in finding a way to sit, even if for a second, with what is, without moving to what will be or could be.As you read this I wonder:* When was the last time you truly sat in silence?* What did it feel like when you were there? How long did it take you to move on?* The next time it comes, can you sit there a little bit longer?Humans are I think restless by their nature. We are creatures, at least while awake, of constant motion. Part of the reason sleep matters is we calm, but can we seek the ability to calm in moments of wakefulness and feel the renewal that comes? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

What if the universe intends for you to be a lighthouse, shining brightly but where the ships always pass on and leave you behind? Can you embrace that role or will you dim your light because you prefer another task? Shine on in peace and have hope.I remember writing this intention right around the time I wrote the story Hank and the Lighthouse that you can find here in the archives. And I remember distinctly where my head was, that the light wasn’t appreciated, that it was valued but not loved. And today, when I read this, I feel it differently. While the light can be seen as passive, it’s not. It needs a direction, an intensity, a focus. And each time the light shifts, the world it illuminates or does not shifts as well.So, in a way, the light from the lighthouse is constantly dimming and brightening as it sweeps around. Yes, there is always choice to dim your light permanently or to take it to another place entirely. But I’m no longer sure that we get to choose whether we are a lighthouse, but rather we choose where and how intensely we choose to shine. As you read this I wonder:* For whom are you shining most brightly today?* What joy do you take from the illumination that you provide?* How do you assess what difference you make by shining?We don’t really have a choice as to whether we shine. We do have a choice how we greet ourselves as we do it. As you begin the week, can you shine forth knowing you are making a difference even in the moments when it’s hard to see it? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Do you need to know where the path is going to take the next step? Do you need to know the why in order to accept? Can you look at what is, know it is there for a reason, and have faith in what is to come?This reflects the other side of waiting. The side where you aren’t waiting for something but simply waiting. I think we live in this state a lot more than we sometimes believe. Sometimes we won’t move until we are sure where we are going. And that results not in anticipation but in stasis. I don’t claim to know anything about the nature of time, but I do think I’ve learned something about the nature of causality. It’s not linear. I cannot count the hours I’ve spent in plotting out the steps. Imagining what will happen and what I will do and what will happen after and so on. But, as I have the chance to look back, so many things have worked out for me, not because I’ve managed the steps but in spite of that.As you read this I wonder:* Are you moving forward today or are you waiting to decide where to go?* Can you be willing to surrender how you are going to get there without giving up on the outcome?* Can you spend more time understanding what today has to give you than you do plotting what’s next?There’s nothing easy about the path of moving through life, and yet, in each day’s decisions, we have so many choices: whether we act, what we do, what we learn, who we affect. As we close out the week, can you be more willing to be here for this now? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you avoid giving in to anticipation? Can you be sure of your strength? Can you sit in the discomfort of now even when joy and comfort are on the horizon? Can you seek to learn today’s lessons before tomorrow’s?One of the watch outs for me for the things I want most is when it’s nearly time. I’m pretty good when things are far in the future or when there are major barriers that must be overcome. I can look at those things and wait quietly, maybe not peacefully but quietly.But the closer the outcome comes, the more my patience recedes. When it is just on the horizon, the urge to hurry it up becomes almost impossible to resist. And in that, I think is our greatest risk. We can get out of order or, even worse, fail to learn the lessons available to us along the way. When I fixate on one thing in the future, I tend to ignore the things that are here and now. And those things have joy to bring me, lessons to teach me, and opportunities to make the world sing. As you read this I wonder:* Can you not give what is just out of reach more time and attention than it deserves?* Can you see today’s lessons and opportunities clearly even when tomorrow’s are more interesting?* Can you be sure that tomorrow’s joy is there even if you take time to witness today?It is truly interesting to me how anticipation moves in my soul. The closer something becomes, the harder it is to wait. But waiting is everything. Because without it, we lose today in our focus on tomorrow. Can you simply allow today to be and to teach you before you move on? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you take stock of this moment? Can it be ok? Can it be enough? Can you recognize that the more you want and believe in is coming to you, but in its way and in its time? Can you wait with peace and acceptance?Patience is a virtue, so it is said. But it’s not a virtue that rests easily with me. I’m capable of stillness, of that soft lack of focus where nothing is vital in the moment. However, once I focus on something, I tend to lose patience. I may not want it now but I want to do something to bring it closer. And the more important it is to me, the more I have the urge to act.But sometimes I think the action is simply my way of distracting me from the fact that the thing I want has not yet arrived. Because most of the time, my actions don’t bring the future to me faster. Most of the time, the future is going to come when it comes. As you read this I wonder:* What is one thing you truly want so much that it cannot get here fast enough?* What is your coping strategy for patience?* How do you find peace in the time between the desire and the fulfillment?As I continue to evolve, I am learning to accept my desire to act. I am coming to believe that acting is perhaps my way of showing patience, my way of finding peace while I wait for what is to come. And, as long as I don’t judge my actions by their impact, they truly can help me wait. As you start this week, can you look at something you truly want and find a way to let it come to you when it is ready? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

When you are simply struggling to keep going, can you realize what your smallest effort can make happen? Can you see what your mere presence can inspire? Can you avoid comparing yourself to your best and simply have faith in what today can be? Can you keep moving forward, knowing that today and every day, you can and will make a difference?We all have those days when we want to stay in bed. And we all have those days when we want to be left to wallow in whatever is holding us back. And yet, cutting ourselves off from the world subtracts from it. And, far too often, we reduce our exposure because we don’t think we’re ready to be “at our best.”But where it is written that the world requires our best? Indeed, how sure can we be that what we perceive as our best is what the universe or any creature in it needs this day? Showing up for me is not about knowing how well I’m going to do, it’s about having a little bit of faith that by being there, I matter, even if I don’t matter as much as I might think I could.As you read this I wonder:* What keeps you going when things get hard?* Can you be less certain that you know what is best?* Can you be more grounded in the faith that the opportunity is available than the concern over how you will meet it?It’s easy to say “not now.” It’s far harder to answer,“then when?” As we close out the week, can you make today “some other time,” the time when you decide to be present, to offer yourself and to act? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you hang on to the moment when you feel things click, that moment when you know you are learning, growing, building? Can you remember the feeling of certainty, not of accomplishment but of progress? Can you use that to build your confidence in your path and your willingness to take the next step?There are moments for all of us when we feel we really nailed it. Some of those are actions or accomplishments. Others are simply the day to day moments where we say something that someone needed to hear or we provide a perspective that allows someone to see a path forward for themselves. Those moments are magical.There’s a wonder in the unlock, whether it’s all in your mind or with another. But the power of the unlock is not only what you do but how it is received. The power isn’t only in the key but in how it fits the lock. And when you find that magic, it can sustain you, give you more confidence to try again, and bring you forward from moments where you didn’t even know you were stuck.As you read this I wonder:* When was the last time someone made it click for you? Did you call it out?* What can you do today to bring that opportunity for connection?* Can the successes of the past bring you more confidence to try again?The fear of having something you say with intent land with a thud is real. But failing to say it lands with silence. And there’s more power in the sound, whether it’s a thud or a click. So today, can you be willing to say it, to hear it, and to look for the magic. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Will you take stock today of your progress? Can you relive the truths you told, the fears you resisted, the warmth you created, the love you showed? No you weren't perfect but on those days when you made the world better, admit it to yourself and get ready to do it again tomorrow.Sometimes I find myself always looking ahead and trying to see what is next. There’s obviously value in looking where you are going but, if that’s the only thing we do, we’re likely to miss something important. So much of what changes the world are the small things that are done each and every day. They often pass without remark but they matter or so much.One of the things I’m trying to do a better job of is acknowledging the small things in my day to day. Letting myself feel good for bringing a smile to someone’s face, making them laugh, or helping them see the world in a new way. I don’t want to overstate how much those things matter, but the risk of missing it is far higher.As you read this, I wonder:* What is one small thing you did yesterday that mattered to someone else?* What chances do you have today to change the world, albeit marginally?* How do you make sure that you notice, even when nobody else calls it out?We have more impact on the people around us and indeed the whole world than we know. As you start the week, can you be a little more sure that the small changes add up, and that the sum of all those little things is actually more likely to shape the world than the big things we worry about every day. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can today be a day of renewal? Can you enhance connection, incorporate learning and make a choice? Can you find it in you to love a little more and question a little less?I love the idea of renewal. It inspired me to think that I always have the choice not to start over, not to start again, but to start anew. It’s like resetting the clock so that minute one is now. My history has been closer to starting over or again than starting anew. The difference is that starting over or starting again is about correction…maybe this time I’ll get it right. Starting anew is different. Starting anew is about building on what is to make way for something new, and hopefully something that brings me more joy, more peace and more love. But to start anew, I have to learn from the past while letting it go, live in the present, while not being bound to it, and move toward the future without committing to one version of it. So starting anew is magical but it’s also work.As you read this I wonder:* Does the distinction between starting anew, starting again, and starting over resonate with you?* Which one is closest to where you are today?* Which part of starting anew is the hardest for you?My life these days has been a long series of starting anew. I think for the first time, I’m probably done with starting over because the goals that bound me once no longer do. That’s liberating and also frightening. As we close out the week, can you have the courage to start anew? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you be free of the past, knowing it brought you to this place? Can you be sure of the present, knowing that you are enough? Can you have hope for the future, secure in the intentions of the universe and those who love you most?Another common saying that I use probably too often is “Says easy, does hard.” Or, some things, maybe most things, are harder to do than they are to say. This intention lives in that register for me. It’s probably the shortest and most direct encapsulation of what I hope for myself and for each of you but each question challenges me.I'm going to work them in reverse order because I think that’s how I’m making progress. I’m the furthest along on hope for the future because I have people in my life who anchor me and hold up a mirror when I need it. I believe in them enough to have hope. The other two are much harder. I’m not sure most of us will ever be free of the past nor will we ever fully believe we are enough. But perhaps all that matters is we don’t let the past and the present get in the way of the future. And by that standard, I feel much better.As you read this I wonder* Which of these seems the hardest to you and why?* Have you given yourself credit for making progress against them?* How would you prioritize them in terms of how they matter to you?The past, the present, and the future all have their place. We cannot solely live in one. But we can make ourselves more comfortable in each and, as we do, the transitions between them can become less abrupt and more peaceful. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you judge less the specific choices you have than the fact you have choices? Can you worry less about what you achieved than what you learned? Can you find a place to call home and live in it even when it isn’t perfect? In short, can you start from hope not regret?Humans in general, and I in particular, are creatures of judgment. We are constantly evaluating. All animals I suppose do so, and those who do it well, tend to survive better than those who are oblivious. However, sometimes, we evaluate too much. We forget the many choices we have in favor of assessing whether they are good enough. We sometimes make the perfect the enemy of the good.People say you should run to things and not away from them. But, at least for me, you don’t want to run to things because it locks in the end point. Rather, we need to accept change and proceed from the premise that the path is ours to choose. Not every path of course, the world makes some paths available and we decide others are not for us. But if we start from hope, the choice tends to be less about which path leads to the goal and more about which path gives me choices that are appealing.As you read this I wonder:* Do you fully appreciate the choices you have in front of you?* Can you resist the temptation to compare what you have to what you want?* Can you look ahead and see opportunity, not use the future to try to make up for the past?Many of us are our own harshest critics. As we start the week, can we make a choice, even if it’s the choice to stay where we are. There is hope in every path. There is learning in every path. What more do we need? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Do you feel the acceleration of growth that comes from true partnership? Do you see the risk taking that is enabled by safety? Do you know the freedom that comes from unconditionality? Can you know that all of these things are there for you and use them to continue to find joy?So we close this week with an intention written months later, but coming back to the same theme. When I choose to believe in my key connections, that they are truly unconditional, life is all downhill. It’s easy. There is flow and movement and growth.But believing is a choice, and it’s not a choice you need to make once. It’s a choice you need to make in each day, sometimes in each moment. But I do believe that the path to joy flows through belief in these connections, in letting them flow into you, through you, and into the world around you.As you read this I wonder:* When was the last time you experienced the growth that can come from a true connection?* What would it take for you to make the active choice to believe?* Whatever that is, can you be willing to ask for it?There’s probably nothing more frightening than being the first person to ask the question, about whether the other person senses what you sense. But, someone has to. And far more often than not, the answer is yes. And so, as we close out the week, can you be a little bit closer to making the ask? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you not be deterred by distance, neither time nor space? Can you know that the ties that connect souls exist in their own dimension? Can you feel those ties more strongly in moments of absence and flow them back to where your heart belongs?Today’s post connects strongly to Monday’s even though I didn’t write them sequentially but roughly 2 weeks apart. Those rare connections that exist are not bound by time nor by space. They exist outside of the normal constraints we think about when we think about relationships.People talk about this from time to time. Even though it’s been years, it feels like it was just yesterday. Or it’s almost the same talking to you on the phone as in person. Those are manifestations of what I’m talking about here but it’s also something different. The right connection is a constant flow of energy. Yes, it requires some tending but far less than you’d imagine.As you read this I wonder:* Who are the people with whom you exist outside of space and time?* Have you pondered what it would mean to admit to yourself and to them that your souls are connected?* Can you see the connection in your quiet places and let it sustain you?This arc is a long journey for me. I still have my doubts. I still feel conditionality in almost every connection as if the wrong act will cause it to be cut off. But this week, can we all have a bit more faith in the universe and in those with whom we so strongly resonate? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you focus on your deepest connections? On the ones that reach into your center and lift you higher? Can you feed energy to them? Can you feel it return to you, not as an exchange but simply because the other person wants to feed you as much as you want to feed them? Can you recognize how rare that is and know you are a part of it, that you are a part of true love?One of the things I’ve come to believe in life is that certain connections we have are qualitatively different than the rest. It’s not about love per se, it’s about the strength of the connection, about how purely energy flows from one side of it to the other. When you encounter the right person, it’s an endless loop of energy flowing back and forth.But the right people are rare. And I think we sometimes miss them because we don’t see the energy in motion. We feel it in moments where it happens, if we are paying attention; but, because there is no visible sign, it can slip by us. I’m very conscious these days of those people in my life and I truly give thanks for them every day.As you read this I wonder:* Have you felt the difference between connections, those that are special versus those that are more normal?* Do you consciously feed energy where it returns to you?* Have you told just one of those people what they mean to you?When I wrote this, I wrote the word true love. Maybe that’s right in a certain sense, but the love I mean here is different than the way true love is often used. As you start the week, can you give thanks, in your mind and in your words, for those who flow energy back to you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you see that feeling is not giving names to sensations? Can you find the points of connection, what holds you safe in the rushing river? Can you flow with the current? What you sense in the middle of it all and tethered to love, that is feeling.I think I’ve mentioned that few of these intentions are recent, meaning most were published long after I wrote them. This one is very recent, I’m writing this post two days after that intention. It hit me that hard, and, having this outlet, I wanted to share.Think of feeling as a raging river. Most of the time, we sit on the bank and dip our toe in the water. That's not feeling, that's sensing. Every once in a while we hurl ourselves into the middle of the river and because we are untethered, we tumble and get lost. So true feeling requires not only the willingness to go into the middle of the river but a tether to keep us safely there while the water rushes by.What is the tether then that allows us to feel? My best answer is love, but a special kind of love. A love that allows you to be a mess without explaining. A love that lets you stay silent until you are ready. A love that seeks to stabilize you without directing you. A love that is unconditional. A high bar indeed which is, I think, why most of us spend most of our time on the banks of the river.I’m not going to give you the standard questions today because what I really want you to sit with is this. Is that love with you? Or is something close to it? How far into the river can you wade today and still feel safe?As we close the week, can you try taking one step further out? You’re safe. And if not, simply step back. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Where is your heart today? Can you bring it out from behind the walls, can you open it up to the world, can you reach across the ravines that separate you? Can you accept that pain is coming and know that the joy you create and live will swamp it? Can you be the love you want to see?If there is one thing in life that I know intimately, it’s walls. I’ve built them so many times and in so many ways, both consciously and unconsciously. Mostly they were designed to keep me safe, often from myself. Even when I thought they were to keep others out, they were mostly to keep me in, to keep me from seeing too clearly.The strongest walls are not the walls of behavior, they are the walls made by stories. Because behavior is easy to change. Stories remain. We fit observations to them. We connect our feelings to them. They control our internal dialogue and sometimes our external dialogue as well. And a full throated assault rarely changes a wall or a story, but love, given and received, can slowly unwind them if we give it time.As you read this I wonder:* How do you bring your heart more into the open and show it to others?* Can you allow love to slowly undermine your walls?* Can you have faith that doing so will create more joy than pain, even if the pain comes first?The hardest thing about our walls is they are there because at least at one moment in time, they served us. This week, can you remove a single brick and let your light shine forth? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you sink deeper today? Can you acknowledge things you normally ignore and recognize that they are part of you and are just as worthy of notice as the things you focus on every day?We spend so much time at the surface of our lives. Sometimes it’s because we simply don’t have time to get deeper. Other times, it’s because we cannot fully explore without someone and there is nobody by our side to help. And still other times, we are resistant to what we know lies beneath. Of the three, I think the second is the hardest. The first is transitory and the third a matter of will but the second is relational and not fully within our control.Often the things beneath are uncomfortable. They are unfamiliar. They may even be frightening. But they are part of us. In fact, they are a bigger part of us than we imagine because I believe change, real change, almost always happens beneath before it reaches the surface. And we know it’s there before we name it and that can create tension as well.As you read this I wonder:* What is one thing beneath the surface that you can acknowledge today?* Can you look below periodically and try to stay ahead of what you are becoming?* Can what you find be a source of wonder, even when it is not who you wish you were?What’s below is as real as what is at the surface. As you begin the week, can you be willing to wade a little deeper and see what you find? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you feel the path that lies before you? Can you keep your eyes on the path rather than the distractions that are off it? Can you keep your mind on the next step rather than the destination? Can you let your soul lead you to the place the universe has prepared for you?Sometimes I return to these and I wonder about my word choice. The juxtaposition of feeling, seeing, and being led. Three different ways to progress. While they are related, they are different. Seeing is concrete, feeling is less so and being led requires neither feeling nor seeing but something between trust and surrender.Of the three, I’m the most comfortable with seeing. I want to know what is in front of me and strategize about how to make it better. That requires more than feeling or being led. But I’m learning that much of what I see is illusory or conditional. I see a lot less than I think I do. Feeling my way forward is uncomfortable but in some ways, I have more faith in what I feel than what I see.As you read this I wonder:* Are you seeing, feeling, or being led today? Why is that?* Can you allow yourself to continue in the face of distraction, to not let what happens around you always change what happens within you?* Can you trust yourself or another enough to be led in peace?Being led is the hardest. For me at least, it’s hard to trust myself enough to lead without assessment. Oddly, there are people around me I trust more than myself, maybe not to see but to feel or to lead. This week, can you connect more closely with yourself and with others so that you have more faith in what you feel and see? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you feel the path that lies before you? Can you keep your eyes on the path rather than the distractions that are off it? Can you keep your mind on the next step rather than the destination? Can you let your soul lead you to the place the universe has prepared for you?Sometimes I return to these and I wonder about my word choice. The juxtaposition of feeling, seeing, and being led. Three different ways to progress. While they are related, they are different. Seeing is concrete, feeling is less so and being led requires neither feeling nor seeing but something between trust and surrender.Of the three, I’m the most comfortable with seeing. I want to know what is in front of me and strategize about how to make it better. That requires more than feeling or being led. But I’m learning that much of what I see is illusory or conditional. I see a lot less than I think I do. Feeling my way forward is uncomfortable but in some ways, I have more faith in what I feel than what I see.As you read this I wonder:* Are you seeing, feeling, or being led today? Why is that?* Can you allow yourself to continue in the face of distraction, to not let what happens around you always change what happens within you?* Can you trust yourself or another enough to be led in peace?Being led is the hardest. For me at least, it’s hard to trust myself enough to lead without assessment. Oddly, there are people around me I trust more than myself, maybe not to see but to feel or to lead. This week, can you connect more closely with yourself and with others so that you have more faith in what you feel and see? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you sit with your unique form of strength today? Can you strive for instead of fighting against? Can you persevere in the face of challenges? Can you hold tight to your worth instead of defending it? Can you know you are enough simply by nature of your being?Sometimes it’s hard for me to stop fighting in favor of striving. I don’t mean fighting in the physical sense. But to me, fighting is pushing back against an external force while striving is seeking to arrive. Sometimes we are doing both, but often, I am more comfortable fighting. There’s a clear enemy when I’m fighting. When I’m striving however, I’m mostly competing with myself.And striving can be more about whether I’m enough rather than whether I was able to overcome the force. And so striving, at least for me, puts more of my self worth on the table. If I’m fighting I might be beaten but if I’m striving I might just fail. And so the challenge of striving is holding on to your inherent worth when things don’t go as you wanted. Because there is no external force that beat you…you simply didn’t arrive.As you read this I wonder:* Do you feel the difference between fighting and striving?* Can you seek to spend more of your energy on striving?* Can you believe enough in you to keep the faith when your striving doesn’t quite get you where you want to be?The other difference I guess is that striving is forever but whatever I fight against will eventually go away. So when we strive, we need to allow ourselves the chance to rest and drift. I hope this week you find a chance not to stop striving but to allow yourself to take a moment. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you let the river carry you a moment? Can you rest your paddle, your body and your soul? Can you trust in the universe to take you where you need to be, that the path and the pace it has laid out are taking you to somewhere you belong?It truly is hard for me to be at rest. I don’t mean that in the sense of I can’t take a break. I’m actually comfortable not being in motion and doing little. What I’m not comfortable with is not progressing when I’m doing something. If I’m active, I have a need to achieve, to progress, to move. And there is a minimum pace of progress that I hold myself to or “it doesn’t count.”But I was reminded today in a different context that there are many forms of achievement. That witnessing beauty is something wonderful and worthy of note. That even if you didn’t progress in a macro sense, you are always moving in all directions, forward and back, side to side. So the question again is one of focus. Will you choose to look at the steps forward or not?As you read this I wonder:* Can you make it less about where you are on the river than the fact that you get to be on it?* Can you choose to see progress even when it may not be the dominant theme of the moment?* Can you believe that hands beyond yours are on the oars, on the tiller, manning the sails?One of my biggest struggles is that I often have a narrow definition of achievement. This week, can you see more of the types of achievement that exist and allow that to give yourself the peace to effort a bit less? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

On those days when you don't see clearly, can you close your eyes? Can you simply feel? Can you separate utility from connection, anticipation from gratitude, and what your heart yearns for from what makes sense? Now, can you open your eyes and walk forward with confidence?Sometimes I feel like I’m squinting at life. Things aren’t clear and I’m working to somehow claw meaning or clarity through the fog. And, almost every time I try to do this, one of two things happens. Either I get no closer to clarity or I invent a story to explain why clarity hasn’t yet come. Rarely if ever, does putting more effort into perception increase my clarity.And so I wonder whether we should simply close our eyes and take a break when things aren’t clear. Instead of trying to see it now, give the universe a moment and come back to it. You can’t see through the fog by squinting, but, over time, the fog tends to lift or you sail through it and see more clearly on the other side.As you read this I wonder:* What do you most want clarity on but don’t yet have it?* Can you look away or close your eyes for a moment and feel the relief?* Can you be sure that tomorrow will give you a different perspective and that clarity will come, at some point?As we close out the week, can you be willing to let your perception change over time, see what is ahead, and sail on without ever committing to one specific port? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you avoid comparing your reality to your predictions? Can you see the good in today even when it isn't all that you want? Can you understand that your intentions are a way of steering your path not destinations unto themselves? Can you take peace in the fact that you are sheltered, treasured and loved?Comparisons are vital to survival and yet they are difficult to address. We need to know whether something is too hot to touch or if the water is too cold to jump into. But when we are comparing reality with hope, it rarely fully measures up.It’s so very easy to get locked in to an outcome and define anything less as a disappointment. I think there are two issues in that. The first is your eyes on the prize can miss what is happening along the way. And the second is that what you planned may not be what you need to take the next step. Indeed, the hoped for outcome often lacks a prompt to keep moving. It’s a resting place rather than a spot along the journey.As you read this I wonder:* What have you locked in on in terms of an outcome? Can you release it just a little?* Can you realize that we are always moving on and set your guideposts accordingly?* And the entire way, can you be secure that you are loved, not by all, but always by enough?I now see the focus on just one outcome, from how a meeting will go to the shape of a relationship, as a trap. It takes hundreds or thousands of wonderful experiences and makes them “not enough.” Today, can you be willing to accept that less than you imagined is often still amazing? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a parent, a friend, a love, a helper, a giver, a receiver? Or do you see a failure, one who misses opportunities, one who is often not at their best? Of course all of these things and more are true but which will you choose to see today?Very few people know this but I hate to look in the mirror. It’s funny how much of life you can do without doing so. What I see there is never quite what I want to see and so I tend to avoid it. I feel the same way about the little window on the video conference that shows me. That’s a lot harder to avoid seeing but I can avoid paying attention to it.But I do think I’ve gotten better at self-perception. I see all of those things above and more at times. I also think they are not mutually exclusive and more than one is true at a time. Perhaps the lesson I still have to learn is in the last line. I’m many things in every moment and trying to just see one is not being true to who I am.As you read this I wonder:* Who do you see when you look in the mirror?* How do you see more of you and not overly focus on one element?* Who can you go to when you need to refocus your perception? When was the last time you had the conversation?We don’t think a lot about what we perceive, we just do. And perception shapes everything, our feeling, our thinking, our actions. And so, as you start the week, can you perceive more broadly, not to see yourself as better but to see more of the total picture? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Will you choose hope today? Will you choose to believe you are safe, loved, and seen? Will you choose belief today? Will you choose to have faith in those who hold you close? Will you choose you today? It truly is your choice. How will you make it?In some ways, this one strikes at my very core. In my darker moments, I am an agent that is acted on by forces outside of me. Something or someone is making my life less what I want it to be. Or, in my own mind, less that I need it to be. But I continue to learn that the story of others making me miserable may not be false but it is not the whole story.I have so many choices, regardless of what is going on in the background. I can choose to whom I listen. I can choose what to believe things mean. I can choose to believe what people say to me or discount it to support my own story. In a very real sense, none of these things change what is going on; but, all of them change what I feel or think or imagine about what is going on.As you read this I wonder:* What would make you more likely to choose hope today?* Why do you sometimes choose to ignore the endless blessings you have in favor of the thing that is not right?* Can you see that choosing you is not about being selfish but rather about being faithful to the full suite of things that are around you?There’s an old saying, “Hope springs eternal.” I don’t really think that’s true. But the Spring of Hope is always a mere moment away. As we close the week, can you take a moment to refresh yourself and feel safer and more secure in the path before you? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you be ok with not knowing until it is time? Can you allow uncertainty to be neutral rather than a crisis? Can you find time for hope as well as for fear? Can you be held in your moment of doubt?I had the joy of spending the week a few weeks ago with my family, my father, stepmother, sister, her kids, my kids, and my two grandchildren. It was the grandchildren that made me think of the opening of this. The thing that struck me about them was that they needed to know now…what was for dinner, where we were going, what someone was doing who wasn’t in the room. The time for knowing, for them, was now.And I think that carries forward for many of us, including me. Not knowing is difficult. And it’s even more difficult, particularly these days, to treat not knowing as neutral and not a problem to be solved. What has changed for me over time is that I know I am held in my moment of doubt, sometimes by the people who are with me physically and always by the people who are closest to my soul. As you read this, I wonder:* What would allow you to believe more fully that knowledge comes in its time?* Can the absence of information simply be the absence of information and not a signal that needs urgent explanation?* Can you reach out to those who hold you in your moment of doubt and acknowledge their contribution?What has changed so very much in my life is my certainty that I need not face my doubts alone, that I am supported without question, not by all, but by enough to change the face of doubt. May you see those who support you a bit more clearly this week and may they help you hope. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you feel the power that comes from movement? Can the next step be enough for now? Can tomorrow be a place where you await the dawn? A new day is coming for you. Can you greet it with hope?One of my reactions to stress is to move. For me, there is nothing worse than feeling at risk and not being able to take action, even when the action may not really address what is stressing me. Taking a walk, exercise, whatever it may be but the process of movement has power.But the core of this one to me is in the third question, “Can tomorrow be a place where you await the dawn?” All too often, tomorrow is a place we either fear or we create a vision of that is unlikely to be realized. The idea for me is simply letting tomorrow be a place where you wait to see what is coming and have hope for the result, regardless of what it may be.As you read this I wonder:* What does movement do for you? How can you inject more movement in your life?* Can you find it in you to wait without dreams or fears but just in stillness?* Can you find hope without needing to have hope for something specific?All too often, we equate hope with the thing we hope for. This week, can you try to make hope more a state of being that a state of longing? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you know that those who you hold dear can feel it? Not because you show it actively but simply because it's true. Can you see the ripples that spring from your soul and embrace your impact on the world? Can you be, be big, and be you?We all feel lonely sometimes. As I write this piece on a Saturday, it has been quite the lonely week, not because of anything anyone did. But I was sick for a few days and alone for a few more. And in those moments of loneliness, I think I’m hurt more by the fact that I feel invisible than the fact that there is nobody around.But I’ve learned through this journey that there are people who see you every day, whether they are with you or not. They hear your voice, they feel your touch, you are there in every way but the physical. For me, it’s a small number of people but it’s more than zero. And in my loneliest moments, that one anchor is what keeps me centered.As you read this I wonder:* Where do you believe you have presence every day?* What can you do to honor the presence you have?* How do you give more people the opportunity to truly hold you dear?I hope you don’t read this as an invocation to do something big and bold to be remembered. It’s almost the opposite. As we close out the week, can you be you, clearly and unapologetically, and know you are heard? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you meet it all with gratitude? The love, the anger, the joy, the sorrow, the peace, the struggle, all of it? Because all of it has made you you, has made you a shining light in the universe and a beacon to eyes that see.The first thing that I see in this intention is the “you you.” Part of me wants to change it but I’m not going to because when I wrote it, that’s how I wrote it. But in a way that’s a metaphor for this intention in total. I need to accept that I wrote you you and see the entirety of the intention for what it is, not just the one part that strikes the grammar policeman inside of me.More broadly, I think it’s a lot easier to have gratitude for the good stuff, the stuff that feels good, feels right, feels like progress. But, for me at least, that’s not me. I’m not a beacon of pure light, there are dark streaks within and those give the light texture, balance, and strength. So I’m still trying to learn to give thanks for those darker pieces. My head knows they matter. My heart still struggles.As you read this I wonder:* How much of what is and what you are do you give thanks for?* Do you see the impact of your light often, sometimes, or maybe even rarely?* And, did you notice the you you the way that I did?In one sense, we are beings of light. We shine brightly and broadly. But we don’t shine constantly or in one spectrum. Can you give a little more thanks for the pieces that may be harder to love but are no less critical to the light you bring? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

As the sun rises on a new day, can you take note of the colors and of the progression? Can you see the change in hue, the change in intensity? Can you realize that underneath that constant change is perpetual beauty? Can you see that as a metaphor for you and for your soul?A sunrise or a sunset over the water may be my favorite visual space. Not because it’s “beautiful” though it is but rather because of the constant change in visuals that it brings. The pattern is neither constant nor predictable but you know it’s going to change and change quickly. And through all the change, it maintains its beauty.Now it’s a lot harder for me to internalize that metaphor as this intention asks me to do. Our souls are similar. They are constantly changing, sometimes more quickly and sometimes more slowly; and they are always beautiful, at least to those few who we truly allow to see them.As you read this I wonder:* Do you believe in the beauty of your soul?* Do you believe you need to freeze it to hold on to that beauty or can you accept the wonder of change?* Who do you show it to, fully and without reservation? Is there truly anyone?Believing in the constant beauty of your soul is for me at least a life’s journey. It is at the center of my constant becoming. This week, can you open the door a little wider and let just one more person see more of who you are? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Do you really fear the future or do you only fear what lies between here and there? Can you focus on what will be through the arc of the rest of your life and recognize that the near term challenges are just that, things to overcome on your path to someday?This week we’ve been talking about anxiety, fear and overcoming it. That’s in part because for the last week or so, I’ve felt increasingly stuck so I wanted to spend a little time with my past thoughts on the topic. I think many of my fears are not about a future state but about things that will prevent me from getting to the place I think I belong. As such, they are things I can move through and get to the other side of. But they are also things that keep coming back in one form or another.I sometimes wonder why I am afraid of these bumps in the road. Do I have so little faith in my own ability to overcome or instead is it an indication that maybe I am less certain of my destination than I might think?As you read this I wonder:* Can you draw the distinction between a point on the journey and the destination?* Can you embrace the challenges and grow?* Can you hold your someday lightly, never making it so specific that the paths to it constrict too much?As we close out the week, I want to thank you for sitting with me as we talk about the harder part. Can you greet your weekend with thanks for what you have overcome and confidence that you are never alone? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you meet the day confident in who you are and the value you bring? Can you turn anxiety into action? Can you know that you are moving forward no matter how stuck you feel?If I had one thing I’d want stenciled in the inside of my eyelids, it would be “Can you turn anxiety into action?” It’s probably the mantra I come back to the most when I am anxious. Sitting with anxiety is one of the things that I have the hardest time doing. I want to fix it and to make it go away.But sometimes there is no action other than the passage of time that will address our anxiety. Indeed, more often than not, this seems to be the case. Anxiety is about the future and so sometimes all we can do is wait for it to come. However, this does not mean we cannot turn anxiety into action. We just need to accept the action may not directly treat the anxiety.As you read this I wonder:* How are you defining the value you bring? * Do you believe that action can reduce anxiety even if the action doesn’t directly change the cause?* Does moving forward feel like progress even when you might get pushed off the path for a bit?I now am pretty sure that action, almost any productive action, helps me treat anxiety. Can you find a way this week to move ahead even when you may not be moving directly on your path? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Often our lives are full of turbulence like waves crashing on the shore. Can you face them and not face away? Can you hold on to your center? And can you know that you will persevere and like all things, the waves will pass?We all have times of turbulence in our lives and I think it’s interesting that turbulence is sometimes more deviation from the current norm than an absolute state. We can be in the midst of crisis and small things don’t matter but in moments of calm, they disturb the system.I think the idea here is that we need to face into what is disturbing us, hold to our center and let it move through us. Turbulence does pass but it is our choice whether it leaves us stronger.As you reflect on this I wonder:* What feels like turbulence to you these days and importantly, what doesn’t that might have once upon a time?* Can you hold on to the things that disturb you? Can you allow them to be without throwing you off?* Do you have faith in someday, even when that day isn’t today or tomorrow?It is hard to feel buffeted by circumstances beyond our control. But it is easy to confuse the idea that we don’t control everything with the feeling that we don’t control anything. This week, can you remember to keep walking and keep your eyes ahead? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you fight the instinct to walk away from the things you truly want out of fear you may never achieve them? Why would you choose to set the chance of joy to zero? Why would you damage yourself by assuming you are not enough? So embrace yourself complete with flaws and keep walking the path.Clearly this week we are talking about resilience. But this intention for me is deep in the heart of it. Resilience to me is less about getting knocked down and getting aback up and more about simply not pulling myself back. I have all too often walked away out of fear I might not “win.” Over time, I’ve come to realize that the story I create about why I might not win is far more damaging than losing. Losing is a fact that comes and goes, the story I tell myself to justify no longer trying has far longer and more detrimental consequences. As you read this I wonder:* What is the story you have for why you should give up that is beneath I might not win?* What value do you see in assuming you aren’t enough? * Do you believe that only the perfect win? If the flawed can be victorious, why not you?Perseverance is an important trait. But I think I’d argue that story you tell yourself along the way is far more important than simply whether you keep going. As this week ends, can you let go of the harmful stories and see if the steps become a bit easier? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

When you feel like you are moving backwards, getting further away from a goal, a person, a feeling; can you keep your eyes forward? Can you keep your heart full? Can you know that you are enough to take that next step? Can you believe what you most desire is always within your reach?I’m sure you’ve heard the famous saying, two steps forward, one step back. We all know progress isn’t linear. But I sometimes find myself questioning whether the thing I want is what I need in this moment. Sometimes, I have to find something along the way and what feels like a step away is actually a step to the side that opens up another path.There’s a great line from an old episode of Star Trek. “After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.” Spock clearly. But there’s power in it for me. There’s joy in wanting even when we don’t have, maybe particularly when we don’t.As you read this I wonder:* How much of your attention is on the goal versus the path?* Do you believe in yourself enough to know that you can get there even if you do it a different way?* Can you lean in to the joy of wanting and not make it all about having?I think we all need to realize that our wants change, that some days feel full of momentum and some do not. As you move through this week, can you feel the currents and accept them more than you fight them? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you face challenges, fears and difficulties with fortitude? Can you accept the emotions that come with struggle rather than denying them? Can you feel the anxiety without letting it own you? Can you know your path is in front of you and amazing things are always coming your way?I sometimes try to bury fears. I want them to go away. Or, I use them to “doom cast,” to construct a completely improbably chain of events that leads to the implosion of my world. It is very hard for me to accept fear without letting it own my thoughts and therefore I’ve often used denial as my approach. But what’s interesting about fear for me is usually what I fear is what hasn’t happened yet. Once it has happened, I’m usually pretty good at feeling it and moving forward. So perhaps fear is about the path that might be more than the path that is. Rarely is the present so awful that we fear it. We fear the could, the might, the perhaps more than what is. As you read this I wonder:* How much of your fear is about tomorrow versus really being about today?* Can you welcome fear as you would welcome any emotion, knowing, like all of them, it is transitory?* Can you believe in that good things will come tomorrow even if your fears are somehow realized?I’m as guilty as anyone of spending too much time looking over the horizon for what might happen. This week, can you keep your sight a bit closer in and experience what is versus waiting for what could be? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you find joy in the act of choosing? Can you find hope in your ability to change? Can you find strength in your power to influence? Can you see your impact in small ways and large? Can you be certain the world is better for you being in it? Can you be all in today?This one has always hit me hard. The hardest question for me is “Can you be certain the world is better for you being in it?” Well, my answer often is, depends how I did today. In other words, I think the world is better for me being in it when I take action to make it so, small or large.But if I don’t act, if I don’t change something, then the world is no better for me being in it, or so can go my line “reasoning.” But that is just another way of saying acting is the only way of creating value. And so the ask here is to be all in, not because I am going to do great things but because my being makes small things happen, most of which I may not see.As you read this I wonder:* What are you going to choose today that shows yourself who you are?* Can you see that your presence can be enough to drop pebbles in the pond?* Can you be all in, even if that means just showing up?The influence we have is far beyond what most of us comprehend. Yes, we aren’t going to change the world most days, but the collective weight of our presence and our commitment is what makes the world what it is and what it can be. Can you just be part of it today? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

People may tell you to leave the past behind you, but can you instead leave the past with you without letting it control you? Can you realize the past is real but not a prediction? Can you see the past has lessons but you have to bring those lessons to your life? Can your soul sing and your heart have hope because today is a new day and love is coming?I always thought the phrases, “The past is the past” and “The past is in the past” pretty reductive. Sure, they are true as stated but the intent of both is more like leave the past behind because it doesn’t matter. But the past matters a lot. It shapes us and if we don’t control it, it can control us.At my worst, I see the negative elements of my past as prologue for my future. But that’s only true if I don’t learn from it, don’t carry its lessons with me, don’t hold it close to me and let it suffuse. me. Learning to truly integrate the past versus reject it or treat is as a prophecy is a challenge, but it is a challenge that leads to hope.As you read this I wonder:* What are you still carrying with you that you haven’t fully integrated into the you of today?* How do you make the past something that brings you closer to tomorrow rather than pulls you back to yesterday?* Can you see tomorrow through a clear lens rather than letting the past taint it?We need to live in today, with our eyes on tomorrow and our souls full of all that has come before. This fracturing is part of what makes the human journey so fascinating. Today, can you embrace all sides in balance and hold hope for tomorrow? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you take a step into possibility today? Can you reach for things that are not yet but will be? Can you be secure they are in your reach even when they are not yet within your grasp? Can you proceed from hope?One of the unique elements of being human or maybe being alive in general is wanting what we don’t have and, sometimes, ignoring what we do have because of it. But the fact that we don’t have something today does not mean we will not have it tomorrow. Or perhaps even something better or more appropriate.I am increasingly trying to proceed from hope in my life. And I’m also trying to make my hope less specific. Instead of saying “I’m hoping for this because it will bring me peace or love,” I’m trying to say, “I’m hoping for things that will bring me more peace and love.” The difference is subtle but it matters. When we put our faith in feeling in one outcome, we are dramatically narrowing our paths to where we want to go.As you read this I wonder:* Can you understand that most things are within your grasp even when you may not see a way?* Can you take one thing that seems impossible and imagine it being?* Can you take a small step forward toward something that matters?One of the things that I’m coming to believe is that life is an accumulation of small choices. And those small choices are all around us. Can you be aware enough to see the small choice today? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you believe that balance is coming? Can you look for the glimmers among the clouds? Can you accept the fall that comes after the rise? Can you ride the wave as it flows and find joy in the movement?Sometimes as I’m thinking through a week’s posting, something that I just wrote feels like it fits and this is one of those times. I used to posit my life as below average and believe there was nothing but upside because of that. Of course, my life was and is far better than I had put into words but the perspective of being down and thinking about how much better things could be lands with many of us.But I think we have to look at the other side as well. Downs come with ups and ups come with downs. We should expect it. We should welcome it. We cannot live our best day every day. The strain of carrying it would be more than we know. And frankly, our best tomorrow is likely not our best today because today happened. And the learning from the lows gives texture to the highs and vice versa.As you read this I wonder:* Are you willing to predict for yourself both the ups and the downs?* Can you find the spots of light and dark and make them matter as much as the background they are painted on?* Can you see the potential for joy in each moment you live?I think I used to view thinking about the negative as a character flaw in a way, not that I stopped doing it. Now I view change as necessary and both positive and negative. As you go into the weekend, can you sit in the balance and watch the world flow by? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you believe the best today? Can you feel that life will bring you what you need, what you want? Can you see that people will greet you with love and compassion? Can you know that you are held and safe? Can you simply accept that your happiness, your hope, and your peace are written in the stars?I remember writing this one clearly. It was one of my many times of spiraling down into a sense of one dimensional being and transactional living. And as I look at it nearly two years after I wrote it, my heart hurts for the me that was.I also think that it’s a bit too deterministic. If I look at the last sentence, I’d want to change it. The potential for my happiness, my hope, and my peace are not only written in the stars, the choices to find them are with me every day. So it’s less that the universe is going to protect me than it’s going to offer me the opportunity to find what I want out of life.As you read this I wonder:* Can you imagine things turning out better? How far can you push it?* Can you hear the quiet signals around you that show you why you matter?* Can you believe that the chance to find more is in front of you and look for it?On the other side of surrender, namely letting go, may be leaning in, not to a story that you need to be true, but to the small signs that you can change your world and the world. I hope you see more of those signs this week and are moved to take action. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Where is your path taking you? How hard are you holding the wheel? Can you have faith in the universe and belief in those who love you most? What would happen if you took your hands off the wheel and let someone else or maybe nobody at all drive? It's possible and it may create an outcome closer to the one that is meant for you.Letting go is one of those things that is oh so easy to say and oh so hard to do. I’m reminded of taking flying lessons when periodically the instructor will tell you to take your hands off the yoke (the wheel). The intent is to see if the plane is set up to fly straight on its own. I try to think about it that way. We aren’t taking our hands off the wheel to let someone else fly but to learn about our path. We aren’t giving in, we are using all our senses to see where we are and where we have the potential to go. Somehow, when I think about it like that, it’s a little easier to let go, at least for a little while.As you read this, I wonder:* How much faith do you have in the momentum behind you?* Do you believe that those who love you most will help you build your path?* Is understanding where you are headed more important than where you get to?I know I will never be fully comfortable with just letting go. It’s not in my nature. But I am learning that those brief moments of assessing how life goes when you aren’t steering are important learnings for me. What might be waiting for you to learn if you take your hands off the wheel, even for a moment? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you hold on to the people who sacrifice for you? Can you see the moments they choose you over themselves, not when it's convenient but when you really need it? When no sacrifice is too large, no love is too great.One of my favorite ideas from business, is “revealed preference.” It simply means that your actions show what you believe much better than what you say. And life, I think, is like that. We all know what we are supposed to say, but what we do is what counts.In my own life, I’ve started to take note of the people who are there, not just when I really need it, but just in my day to day life. My observation would be that crisis can generate attention, but attention outside of crisis comes from love. And those few people who show that type of love are worthy of me, of my thought, of my intention, of my sacrifice.As you read this, I wonder:* Who in your life puts you first, not only when they should or have to?* Have you told those people how much it means, not just in general but each time it happens?* Have you made the choice about whom you hold closest? Does it show?We have the opportunity to show people who we are. We can’t do this for everyone and sometimes the choice is paralyzing. It might seem easier to run from fire to fire, we certainly have enough of them. But those who you hold when you need not, those special few will feel it. And so will you.If these are meaningful to you, please feel free to subscribe. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you feel the pull of one soul today? Can you feel the hand on your back, hear the voice in your ear, see the beacon ahead? Can that one soul be your world for just one moment? Can you now be that one soul for another?We live in a world of noise. We all feel it - the demands for our attention, the things that need to be done, the things we are trying to catch up on. There is always something, indeed, there is always a lot more than one something. But, amid all of that, I know I have an opportunity. I can cut through all of that and focus, focus on one soul. I can hear one voice through all of the noise. I can let that one voice pull me forward. Now the only question I have to answer is what voice will I choose to listen to and what hand will I let hold mine.As you read this, I wonder:* How loud is your world right now? How do you tune out some of the noise?* Who is the one voice for you today? Can you be comfortable that tomorrow’s answer may change?* Can you take the risk of trying to be the one voice for another?My greatest gift I think is the gift of focus, the ability to look at another person and say that nothing is more important than you and us in this moment. No other thing will break my connection to you, for as long as the moment may last. It’s hard to do but the value you can create is immeasurable. This week, can you be that one person, even if only for one moment? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com

Can you see yourself clearly? Can you hold yourself closely? Can you give yourself grace? Can you find the people who connect to your soul and let them hold up a mirror, hold your hand as you walk, and lift you up when you stumble? Can you do the same for them?I’d say of all the things that have been a challenge for me for most of my life, seeing myself clearly is at the top of the list. I’ve had a perception of myself that is very one dimensional, focused on intellect to the exclusion of other elements of me. And it has been a long journey to start to release that perception, this Substack being one step in that journey.It took me changing my ability to listen to others, to see through their eyes, to accept their perception of me to help me reground my perception of myself. The old stories always creep back in, but, over time, their stay is a little shorter and their effect a little less felt than it was.As you read this I wonder:* Has your view of yourself changed? If so, why? And if not, why not?* Who in your life do you trust to hold up the mirror and hold your hand?* When was the last time you really told someone you love what you see in them?As humans, we have the opportunity to use the ties that bind us to each other to help ourselves see more clearly. It is one of the greatest gifts we can receive or provide. I hope someone speaks quietly in your ear this week and you take the chance to listen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com