Alyas Batman en Robin (Review)

Alyas Batman en Robin 1993 Directed by Tony Y. Reyes Written by Joey de Leon and Tony Y. Reyes The Philippines returns to prove nobody does Batman like they do! Batman continues to be a campy caped crusader, and all the familiar elements are here – the classic villains, evil doing, and saving the day. The stakes may be lower, but there is still wrongs to be righted. And Alyas Batman en Robin showed everymen becoming superheroes long before Mark Millar stole it for Kick-Ass. I’m on to you, Millar! If you remember the overview of the Filipino Batman films I did at the beginning of the James Batman review, then you’ll remember Alyas Batman en Robin from 1993 is the most recent. So here it is! Part musical, part campy, part guys beating up people, and part a love story, Alyas Batman en Robin tries to be a lot of things. Let’s find out if it succeeds… But first, the Roll Call! Kuya (Joey de Leon) – Kuya is the closest I could figure for a name for his character, though that’s just the way they sound like they’re saying the word for big brother in Tagalog (which is Kuya) Kuya defends Kevin from his tormentors, but also doesn’t really want to get involved in crime fighting. Kevin forces his hand, so he reluctantly joins Kevin and becomes… Batman (Joey de Leon) – Batman fights the villains and hits on the hot journalism chicks. Because that’s what Superma– I mean, Batman does! Joey de Leon started his career as a radio dj, which evolved to a comedy career with the trio Tito, Vic and Joey, getting parts in television and movies. By the 1980s, he was a solo star in comedies and headlining sitcoms. He continues to do host work on television, and has reignited his singing career in recent years. Kevin (Keempee de Leon) – Kevin is the hottest guy at school that the girls all mob over, but he has his eyes on justice! Thus, he cons his older brother into joining him as dressing up as a superhero and fighting evil, becoming… Robin (Keempee de Leon) – It’s good Kevin became Robin, because he was obsessed with him! Joseph Joakim “Keempee” de Leon is the son of Joey de Leon and was the one-time teen idol of the Philippines. He got into drugs and sought treatment in 1993 as this film was tearing up the Filipino box office. That’s also where he became very involved in missionary work. He returned to acting in 1994, and appears in movies and television. His haircut during the 1990s was called the Keempee and has become a sign of the era much as big feathered hair lets us Americans know it’s the 1980s. Jocson (Rene Requiestas) – Jocson is Kevin’s bitter friend, who when he’s forced to join his Uncle Paeng’s gang, decides to be the best villain ever and becomes….. Joker (Rene Requiestas) – Renato “Rene” Requiestas was a comedian noted for his emaciated look, specialized in sidekick roles. He was Cheetae in the three Starzan films, and was also in Sheman: Mistress of the Universe. He sadly died of tuberculosis shortly after this film was finished in 1993 at the age of 36. Uncle Paeng (Panchito) – After recruiting his nephew into his criminal organization, Uncle Paeng then follows his nephew’s lead and becomes a super villain himself, the… Paenguin (Panchito) – Paenguin is the pun name for Penguin, who dresses as Penguin and leads the gang on their various bank robbing activities. As there are practically no police in the city, this gang is free to run wild unless Batman and Robin stop them. Born Alfonso D. Tagle, Sr., Panchito was best friends with fellow comedian Dolphy, meeting him when they were both starting out their careers as traveling entertainers in the Japanese-occupied Philippines during World War 2. By the 1960s, they were constantly paired in a string of comedy films. Panchito suffered a stroke in 1995, and he passed on a month later. Angelique Legarda (Dawn Zulueta) – Gotham Daily Star reporter who is assigned to the crime beat, gets involved in the Batman and Robin story, and even becomes Batman’s love interest. Vina (Vina Morales) – Vina is a schoolgirl who crushes on Kevin, to the dismay of Jocson. At one point actress Vina Morales dated Keempee, it might have been during this movie being made. Catwoman (Almira Muhlach) – The Catwoman leads an all-girl gang and is recruited by Paenguin and Joker to add some muscle to their group after all their crew quits due to low pay. She changes costumes often, but is captured by Batman halfway through the film and is never seen again. Almira Muhlach married basketball star Bong Alvarez and has had a rocky relationship due to his rage issues. Her half-brother is actor Aga Muhlach. Kevin and Kuya talk one and on, but Kevin isn’t studying like he’s supposed to be, he is reading comics! Kevin’s friend Jocson is reading a Joker comic book, but is trampled by a horde of teenage girls who chase after handsome Kevin, running him off from his swim meet. More bumbling and slapstick happens for a while until Kevin is beaten up in a brawl because he is just too damn sexy. His friend Glasses (who is played by current self-help guru Chinkee Tan) gets caught in the crossfire, while Jocson watches and doesn’t help, thinking he did his duty by warning Kevin in the first place. Kevin is beat so badly he’s taken to the hospital. When at hospital, Kevin argues with Jocson about comics and if Robin can have his own series (this must be before he did have his own series) also the Joker is mentioned. What is this, a Filipino Kevin Smith movie? What about all the innocent contractors killed to keep the Batcave secret? I’m not even supposed to be here today! Kevin’s older brother Kuya beats up the guys who beat up Kevin and Glasses. Jocson gets recruited by his Uncle Paeng to join the gang. Since Jocson is going to be a criminal, he decides to be the best criminal there is…the Joker! So he dresses like the Joker and starts doing some Joker mannerisms. Keep in mind this was right after the Tim Burton Batman, so Jack Nicholson is influencing the film as much as the 1960’s Batman TV series. As the Joker laughs manically around the evil hideout, we see his boss has also dressed up as a famous Batman criminal…the Penguin! Except, he is Paenguin! Because of a pun on his character’s name, and it also meaning a dirty joke in Tagalog slang. Joker and Paenguin are robbing a bank! They even gun down their own men. That always sounds cool, but it makes hiring replacements next to impossible. I don’t know how many Craigslist ads I had to put out the last time I gunned down my gang… And Christopher Nolan stole this plot point for his own Batman movie! Angelique the reporter is investigating the Joker and Paenguin attacks, which soon become a crime spree. And, yes, have a bunch of new goons (who they shortchange with the pay!) Joker visits Lisa – the cat woman! Animal Beauties – she has a Supergirl-ish costume with a mask, lots of cats, and lots of other tough girls hanging out with her at her place rob a bank…musical!!!!!!!!!! Kevin wants Kuya to join him and be Batman and Robin. And there’s a slam on the Starzan films out of nowhere! Kevin gets his friend Glasses to make the costumes, Batmobile, Batcave, and everything. Kuya finally agrees after the gang robs a jewelry store, and we have a training montage. The montage song is a Batman and Robin sung to the tune of Surf City! We immediately jump into another robbery and now the criminals are preforming a musical number. This is pretty surreal…but also pretty awesome. The Batcomputer warns Kuya and Kevin of yet another robbery, some goons are taking down an armored car. The boys quickly turn into Batman and Robin and rush to save the day. They drive up in their Batmobile and fight the armored car robbers. The Batman theme plays, total campy fun! After the dust has settled, the media descends. Batman makes his move on hot reporter Angelique, agreeing to an interview at the cemetery at night. He ends up taking her back to the batcave, which is packed to the gills with cardboard computers with blinking lights. There is a joke as Batman offers drinks: “Bat-juice? Bat-coffee? Bat-milk? Bat-tea? Salabat?” (Salabat is ginger tea, and now you know Tagalog jokes!) While this is going down, Paenguin’s gang attack another bank, but Paenguin is mad because Joker selected a blood bank and yells at him. Kevin is dismayed that all the girls who used to love him are now all in love with Robin. But when Kevin dresses up as Robin, it does nothing because all of the girls’ boyfriends are also dressed as Robin. I don’t think any Robin has ever had it this good. The Paenguin gang robs another bank, this time Catwoman has changed costume to an all-gold number with an even bigger gold domino mask with wingtip flair. She’s like Lady Gaga, but thankfully never shows up with a meat dress. This time Batman and Robin ambush the gang in the parking garage! They fight, goons vs. heroes, and Robin catches Paenguin while Batman captures Catwoman (after a long fight where her character makes angry cat noises with every motion.) Kevin and Vina have a love song when he finds out she is in love with him, while Kuya has a dream sequence that involves lots of girls in bikinis, including Angelique, who is menaced by goons until a masked Kuya saves her. This entire dream sequence is way to long, is filled with padding and conversations and failed jokes. The pacing of the film is thrown off-track! In reality, Batman visits Angelique at night showing off his new Batman shirt that is being sold by vendors, while Paenguin breaks out of jail with a bunch of other random criminals (all of which are gunned down by the guards except Paenguin.) Joker sends a helicopter to pick up Paenguin, and now he’s free to terrify the city once again. Kuya is in love and doesn’t want to be Batman anymore, forcing Kevin to storm off and be Robin all alone, beating up some thugs. The tabloids all wonder what is going on (if this was made nowadays, Twitter would be afire and bloggers would be pounding away in their basements!...