Infernal Brains Podcast – TarsTarkas.NET and Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill

From the depths of the internet the Infernal Brains have returned again to discuss the wonderful adventures of Batman and James Bond in the Philippines! Yes, it is James Batman, a film so amazing it starred two of the most popular figures worldwide, both played by the same actor! Totally unauthorized, totally crazy, totally fun, James Batman is an amazing film that is a shining example of Filipino pulp cinema of the 1960s. We also get into other Filipino Batman movies (of which there are many, but far less that survive!) and some history on Dolphy, the comedian who brought both James Bond and Batman to life at the same time. There was a bit of audio distortion at times due to a bad connection, but not so bad you can’t hear the conversation (apologies!) As usual, we have a whole Batcave full of ways to listen: Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Click here for iTunes Feed Don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel! Check out the Infernal Brains Facebook Page! Or else!! Films Discussed: James Batman – Tars’ Review – Todd’s Review Johnny Joker stills Batman Fights Dracula stills Sites of interest: PelikulaATBP Video48 Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10 Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11 Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 12 Through the Looking Glass with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 13 Starman – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 14 The Brainiac – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 15 The Secret of Magic Island – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 16 Space Ladies from Outer Space – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 17 Cat-Beast – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 18 Click the graphic for Podcast Feed:

Just when you thought it was safe to stalk the night, The Infernal Brains Podcast has returned to give you a healthy dose of world cinema knowledge in women dressed as a cat form! Yes, we’re tackling the braintastic Pakistani flick Da Khwar Lasme Spogmay aka Cat-Beast aka essential cinema! Pakistani cinema is a world unto itself, and it’s time for this world to get explored. But that’s not all, there is a brief overview of the different types of Pakistani cinema and discussion of other films from the country, both similar and less than similar. It’s definitely the greatest podcast about a Pakistani film that features a woman who turns into a cat monster to slay Mad Max rejects for revenge directed by a woman that you will listen to this week, so you best not delay! As usual, we have a kitty litter tray full of ways to listen: Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Click here for iTunes Feed Don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel! Check out the Infernal Brains Facebook Page! Or else!! Films Discussed: Da Khwar Lasme Spogmay aka Cat-Beast **Todd’s Review **Tars’ Review Adam Khor Haseena Atom Bomb Maula Jat Hitlar Adam Khor Loor Da Bala Balaa Shanee International Gorillay aka International Guerillas **Tars’ Review **Todd’s Review ***Todd’s book!!!!!!!*** Funky Bollywood: The Wild World of 1970s Indian Action Cinema Other topics: Use Adblock to block those Around the Web sites (Outbrain, Taboola, Zergnet) TheHotSpotOnline Archive.org link dishoomDISHOOM Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10 Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11 Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 12 Through the Looking Glass with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 13 Starman – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 14 The Brainiac – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 15 The Secret of Magic Island – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 16 Space Ladies from Outer Space – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 17 Click the graphic for Podcast Feed:

From the deepest depths of nearby space comes the Infernal Brains Podcast! Join Tars and Todd of FourDK as they explore the surprisingly universal phenomenon of Space Ladies from Outer Space! Featuring an extra-special Guest Brain, Carol Borden from The Cultural Gutter! We scour the globe and cover a vast variety of flicks featuring female alien invaders/cultures that run into problems when Earth men come and mess everything up. It’s a surprisingly populous genre that probably speaks to all sorts of subtextual psychoses, which means there will be plenty to talk about. As usual, there are more ways to get the episode than you can invade a planet with! Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Click here for iTunes Feed Don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Check out the Infernal Brains Facebook Page! Or else… Carol Borden’s sites: The Cultural Gutter Monstrous Industry Films Discussed: Cat-women of the Moon Missile to the Moon El Planeta de las Mujeres Invasoras (Planet of the Female Invaders) Tars review Todd review La Nave de los Monstrous (Ship of Monsters) Blue Demon Y Las Invasoras Uçan Daireler Istanbulda (Flying Saucers Over Istanbul) Tars review Todd review Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10 Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11 Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 12 Through the Looking Glass with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 13 Starman – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 14 The Brainiac – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 15 The Secret of Magic Island – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 16

The Infernal Brains return after a long absence of important business far too exciting to relate here, to bring you an extra special edition of the Infernal Brains Podcast! Join Tars and Todd of FourDK as they discuss the magical animal film The Secret of Magic Island! Then the Brains talk about the mysteriously similar film Bill and Coo! You know what they say about birds of a feather. As usually, we got a barrel full of monkeys amount of ways to listen to the show, including our brand new YouTube Channel! Yes, Blip.tv decided we weren’t pale and screechy enough to continue to use their site, so we left them in the dust. After they told us to leave. I’m sure they’ll pay out the money they owe us after they forced ads to roll at the beginning of the shows… (Yeah, right!) But new beginnings are here, so feel free to sub to our YouTube channel if you like to receive your Infernal Brains Knowledge Injections that way. Or else… Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Films Discussed: The Secret of Magic Island Bill and Coo Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10 Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11 Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 12 Through the Looking Glass with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 13 Starman – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 14 The Brainiac – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 15

The Infernal Brains are back in Black and White…Okay, the movie they watched is! Tars and Todd take on the Mexican horror classic The Brainiac (El Baron del Terror)! It’s the Mexican horror film with the best costume ever created in the history of cinema. And also a monster! An evil baron returns after 300 years for revenge against the descendants of the people who burned him as a heretic. Luckily for him, everyone has just one decedent who also looks exactly like their ancestor! And he kills a bunch of random people for no reason and eats brains, but revenge! The cast is a virtual mother load of Mexican cinema talent. The Brainiac is an awesome flick and we talk about it awesomely with awesomeness. As usual, we got so many listening choices that even someone who has been trapped in a comet for 300 years can find a way: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link. So many choices, you’re head will inflate and deflate randomly! Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Films Discussed: El Baron Del Terror / The Brainiac Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10 Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11 Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 12 Through the Looking Glass with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 13 Starman – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 14

Starman, a question a child might ask, but not a childish question. Because it’s a children’s movie! Nine of them! Combined into four American versions! Confused? Well, don’t be, because Tars and Todd are back again with another edition of the Infernal Brains Podcast to teach you all you need to know about Japan’s first cinematic super hero. He’s like Prince of Space, except better, because Prince of Space stole from him. Join us for the leaping and the long punching fight sequences and children being chased by witch women and corndog alien costumes and dance numbers. And find out why his girlfriend calls him “Super Giant”! As usual, we got so many listening choices that even someone who is sickened by Salamander Men interpretive dancing can find a way: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link. So many choices, you’ll wave your arms randomly in the air as the Emerald Council decides to send Starman to save you once again! Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Films Discussed: Starman – Atomic Rulers Starman – Attack From Space Starman – Evil Brain From Outer Space Starman – Invaders From Space Super Giant (スーパー・ジャイアンツ) Super Giant Continues (続スーパー・ジャイアンツ) Super Giant – The Mysterious Spacemen’s Demonic Castle (スーパー・ジャイアンツ 怪星人の魔城) Super Giant – Earth on the Verge of Destruction (スーパー・ジャイアンツ 地球滅亡寸前) Super Giant – The Artificial Satellite and the Destruction of Humanity (スーパー・ジャイアンツ 人工衛星と人類の破滅) Super Giant – The Spaceship and the Clash of the Artificial Satellite (スーパー・ジャイアンツ 宇宙艇と人工衛星の激突) Super Giant – The Space Mutant Appears (スーパー・ジャイアンツ 宇宙怪人出現) Super Giant Continues – The Devil’s Incarnation (続スーパー・ジャイアンツ 悪魔の化身) Super Giant Continues – The Poison Moth Kingdom (続スーパー・ジャイアンツ 毒蛾王国) Some source images from BlackSun Visit our show sponsor Monster Island Resort! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10 Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11 Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 12 Through the Looking Glass with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 13

As we mentioned during the last episode of the Infernal Brains, this is a huge two-part series in discussion of the films of Pearl Cheung Ling. And now, Tars, Todd, and Special Guest Brain DurianDave from SoftFilm are back to get into the meaty gritty wolfy famous films of Pearl Cheung Ling! Find out everything you never knew you needed to know about the films Pearl directed and wrote. Be amazed as her creative vision comes to life and made a mark on the world of cinema that will never be duplicated. As usual, we got so many listening choices that even someone who randomly transforms into white haired crazy woman can find a way: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link. So many choices, you’ll run away in terror to save your baby! Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Websites: SoftFilm SoftTofu Fuck yeah, Pearl Chang! Films Discussed: My Blade, My Life – Todd Review Miraculous Flower / Phoenix The Ninja – Tars Review – Todd Review Matching Escort / Fury of the Silver Fox – Tars Review – Todd Review Wolf Devil Woman – Todd Review Dark Lady of Kung Fu – Tars Review – Todd Review General Invincible – Todd Review Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10 Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11 Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 12

The films of Pearl Cheung Ling/Pearl Chang are pure awesomeness. Pearl Cheung Ling is a rarity because she not only starred in films, she wrote, directed, and produced martial arts cinema at a time where there were almost no female directors period, much less female directors of action cinema. Pearl’s films have a distinctive style unlike any other films out there. Wolf Devil Woman is a title that almost every cult movie fan is familiar with, while her other pictures also share a large number of fans (and antifans!) But very little is known of Pearl Cheung Ling herself. To all it seemed, she appeared one day, made some awesome flicks, and then vanished off the face of the planet. But there is much more to the Pearl Cheung Ling story. The Infernal Brains are tackling this compelling issue, and Tars and Todd have brought in Special Guest Brain DurianDave from SoftFilm! Join us as we delve into the Secret History of Pearl Cheung Ling, her rise to fame and her acting career, what influenced her to create her wonderful films. Of course a story this big can’t be over in just a few minutes, so this is a two-parter episode! Part 1 deals with Pearl’s career and her early films. Part 2 (to be uploaded soon!) will go into a more in-depth discussion about her five creative features and what happened after she left the film industry. It’s a great topic and has information that’s hard to find anywhere in English. As usual, we got so many listening choices that even someone raised by wolves can find a method: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link. So many choices, you’ll rip chickens in half in joy! Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Websites: SoftFilm SoftTofu Fuck yeah, Pearl Chang! Films Discussed: The Protectors / 保鑣 (TV Series) The Return of the Hero of the Water Front / 小壁虎 Fist of Shao-Lin / 少林高徒 Armed Escort / 保鑣 The Invincible Swordswoman / 冷月孤星針無情 The Heroic Figure aka Men of the Hour / 風雲人物 Witty Hand, Witty Sword / 玲瓏玉手劍玲瓏 The War of the Boundary / 戰天山 My Blade, My Life / 決鬥者的生命 King of Fists and Dollars / 王拳王鍰 Our Sponsor: Monster Island Resort Podcast Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10 Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11

The Infernal Brains strike again, wading into the monster battle of the century! Last century. Yes, it’s the obscure 1972 Toho/Tsuburaya co-production Daigoro vs. Goliath (Kaijû daifunsen: Daigorou tai Goriasu – literal translation: Great Desperate Monster Battle: Daigoro vs. Goliath!) The desperation is great indeed as Tars and Todd must digest a film where monsters also do digestion. Giant monsters, kiddie suitmation, awful slapstick humor, and child matinees. We go over the Champion Festival edited Godzilla flicks, released long ago on laserdisc as the Godzilla Death Battle Chronicles. We also take a side track talk about local tv horror hosts (mentioned hosts include: Chuck Acri from Acri’s Creature Feature, Bob Wilkins, Asmodeus, Grandpa Munster on Super Scary Saturday, and Commander USA) But worst of all, we talk about a monster that can’t use the toilet and what that means for the children of the world. Find out why Daigoro vs. Goliath was never imported to the USA! What were they hiding from us? Or what were they protecting us from? As usual, we got more listening choices than you can shake a bowl of Daigoro chow at: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link. So many choices, Goliath will crash down from space just to punch you! Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09 Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10

The Infernal Brains are back again, this time with a special Guest Brain, duriandave from Softfilm, Soft Tofu Tumblr, and Connie Chan Movie Fan Princess! Join Tars, Todd, and Dave as we discuss one of our collectively favorite world movie subgenres, Cantonese female focused action films that became known as Jane Bond films! We chat about Connie Chan, Josephine Siao, Suet Nei, So Ching, Fanny Fan, Lily Ho, Chor Yuen, masked heroines, James Bond influences, theater singing, the genesis of the genre, and many films that you’ll be hunting down for the next few years! It’s an infotainment explosion of knowledge that will pack your brain with so many cool facts that they’ll start leaking out your ears and drip on the carpet! The Infernal Brains are not responsible for any carpet cleaning bills. As usual, we got more listening choices than you can shake an unsubtitled vcd at: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link. So many choices, you’ll have to call in your secret evil gang to select them all! Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Films Discussed: Black Rose – Tars Review, Todd Review, Dave Review Spy With My Face The Blonde Hair Monster – Dave Review Lady Black Cat – Tars Review, Dave Review Lady Black Cat Strikes Again The Black Killer The Professionals Golden Skeleton Dark Heroine Muk Lan-Fa – Tars Review, Todd’s series overview Dark Heroins Muk Lan-Fa Shatters the Black Dragon Gang Lady in Black Cracks the Gates of Hell Gold Button Temptress of 1000 Faces Angel with Iron Fists Angel Strikes Again Wong Ang vs the flying tigers part 1 part 2 Jane Bond overview More Cantonese Cinema information Site Links: Soft Tofu Tumblr SoftFilm Blog Connie Chan Movie Fan Princess The Lucha Diaries Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill! Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09

The Infernal Brains are here to teach you everything you didn’t know you needed to know about Mexican Wrestling – Lucha Libre – movies and what to do when mummies start attacking your city! A framework is build around the Lucha classic The Mummies of Guanajuato, where you learn the ins and outs of Santo, Blue Demon, Mil Mascaras, and Mexican mummies. A good infodump for those of you new to the genre, and an informative trip through the film for those who are more familiar with the wonders of the Luchador. As usual, we got a stranglehold of choices for you: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link. So many choices, you’ll cry for your mummy! I’m sorry, that joke was awful and uncalled for. But do enjoy the podcast, which doesn’t feature that lame joke at all! We have our own lame jokes. Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Links The Mummies of Guanajuato on Teleport City The Lucha Diaries Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill! Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever

The Infernal Brains Podcast has returned to once again infernal your brains. All over dem brains. In this episode, Tars and Todd discuss the worst of the worst that they have encountered in their years and years of chronicling world cinema. Leave behind your Uwe Bolls, your Birdemics, your Plan 9s…These choices are truly the worst from around the globe. Both Tars and Todd each pick a particular film to highlight, discuss, and moan about. What films are they? You gotta listen to find out! Or just look at the tags for clues. But listen anyway, or you’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. As usual, we got a crapload of choices for you: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link so you can just download right to your iPod and listen to dudes rambling about awful monster costumes while being bored at work. Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Links discussed include: Ninja Dixon Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng

That’s right, it’s another episode of Infernal Brains, the podcast that doesn’t have a catchphrase yet. In this episode, Tars and Todd discuss the 2010 Thai film Insee Daeng (Red Eagle) and thus get drawn into a discussion of all the prior Insee Daeng films, Thai pulp cinema, what was wrong with Insee Daeng 2010, and what wasn’t so wrong it could have been cool. We also stumble over the pronunciations of more Thai names than you can shake a brain at, but that’s the price we pay. Find out just how awesome Mitr Chaibancha is, learn about old Thai film showings, and the joys of watching unsubtitled films where people talk for most of the running length. As usual, we got a boatload of choices for you: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link so you can just download right to your iPod and listen to people mispronounce Thai names while being bored at work. Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Movies discussed include: Awasan Insee Daeng Jao Insee Insee Thong – Tars Version – Teleport-City version Insee Payong – Tars Version – FourDK version Insee Daeng (2010) Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Dara Singh Inkscape graphics via OpenClipArt

Alyas Batman en Robin 1993 Directed by Tony Y. Reyes Written by Joey de Leon and Tony Y. Reyes The Philippines returns to prove nobody does Batman like they do! Batman continues to be a campy caped crusader, and all the familiar elements are here – the classic villains, evil doing, and saving the day. The stakes may be lower, but there is still wrongs to be righted. And Alyas Batman en Robin showed everymen becoming superheroes long before Mark Millar stole it for Kick-Ass. I’m on to you, Millar! If you remember the overview of the Filipino Batman films I did at the beginning of the James Batman review, then you’ll remember Alyas Batman en Robin from 1993 is the most recent. So here it is! Part musical, part campy, part guys beating up people, and part a love story, Alyas Batman en Robin tries to be a lot of things. Let’s find out if it succeeds… But first, the Roll Call! Kuya (Joey de Leon) – Kuya is the closest I could figure for a name for his character, though that’s just the way they sound like they’re saying the word for big brother in Tagalog (which is Kuya) Kuya defends Kevin from his tormentors, but also doesn’t really want to get involved in crime fighting. Kevin forces his hand, so he reluctantly joins Kevin and becomes… Batman (Joey de Leon) – Batman fights the villains and hits on the hot journalism chicks. Because that’s what Superma– I mean, Batman does! Joey de Leon started his career as a radio dj, which evolved to a comedy career with the trio Tito, Vic and Joey, getting parts in television and movies. By the 1980s, he was a solo star in comedies and headlining sitcoms. He continues to do host work on television, and has reignited his singing career in recent years. Kevin (Keempee de Leon) – Kevin is the hottest guy at school that the girls all mob over, but he has his eyes on justice! Thus, he cons his older brother into joining him as dressing up as a superhero and fighting evil, becoming… Robin (Keempee de Leon) – It’s good Kevin became Robin, because he was obsessed with him! Joseph Joakim “Keempee” de Leon is the son of Joey de Leon and was the one-time teen idol of the Philippines. He got into drugs and sought treatment in 1993 as this film was tearing up the Filipino box office. That’s also where he became very involved in missionary work. He returned to acting in 1994, and appears in movies and television. His haircut during the 1990s was called the Keempee and has become a sign of the era much as big feathered hair lets us Americans know it’s the 1980s. Jocson (Rene Requiestas) – Jocson is Kevin’s bitter friend, who when he’s forced to join his Uncle Paeng’s gang, decides to be the best villain ever and becomes….. Joker (Rene Requiestas) – Renato “Rene” Requiestas was a comedian noted for his emaciated look, specialized in sidekick roles. He was Cheetae in the three Starzan films, and was also in Sheman: Mistress of the Universe. He sadly died of tuberculosis shortly after this film was finished in 1993 at the age of 36. Uncle Paeng (Panchito) – After recruiting his nephew into his criminal organization, Uncle Paeng then follows his nephew’s lead and becomes a super villain himself, the… Paenguin (Panchito) – Paenguin is the pun name for Penguin, who dresses as Penguin and leads the gang on their various bank robbing activities. As there are practically no police in the city, this gang is free to run wild unless Batman and Robin stop them. Born Alfonso D. Tagle, Sr., Panchito was best friends with fellow comedian Dolphy, meeting him when they were both starting out their careers as traveling entertainers in the Japanese-occupied Philippines during World War 2. By the 1960s, they were constantly paired in a string of comedy films. Panchito suffered a stroke in 1995, and he passed on a month later. Angelique Legarda (Dawn Zulueta) – Gotham Daily Star reporter who is assigned to the crime beat, gets involved in the Batman and Robin story, and even becomes Batman’s love interest. Vina (Vina Morales) – Vina is a schoolgirl who crushes on Kevin, to the dismay of Jocson. At one point actress Vina Morales dated Keempee, it might have been during this movie being made. Catwoman (Almira Muhlach) – The Catwoman leads an all-girl gang and is recruited by Paenguin and Joker to add some muscle to their group after all their crew quits due to low pay. She changes costumes often, but is captured by Batman halfway through the film and is never seen again. Almira Muhlach married basketball star Bong Alvarez and has had a rocky relationship due to his rage issues. Her half-brother is actor Aga Muhlach. Kevin and Kuya talk one and on, but Kevin isn’t studying like he’s supposed to be, he is reading comics! Kevin’s friend Jocson is reading a Joker comic book, but is trampled by a horde of teenage girls who chase after handsome Kevin, running him off from his swim meet. More bumbling and slapstick happens for a while until Kevin is beaten up in a brawl because he is just too damn sexy. His friend Glasses (who is played by current self-help guru Chinkee Tan) gets caught in the crossfire, while Jocson watches and doesn’t help, thinking he did his duty by warning Kevin in the first place. Kevin is beat so badly he’s taken to the hospital. When at hospital, Kevin argues with Jocson about comics and if Robin can have his own series (this must be before he did have his own series) also the Joker is mentioned. What is this, a Filipino Kevin Smith movie? What about all the innocent contractors killed to keep the Batcave secret? I’m not even supposed to be here today! Kevin’s older brother Kuya beats up the guys who beat up Kevin and Glasses. Jocson gets recruited by his Uncle Paeng to join the gang. Since Jocson is going to be a criminal, he decides to be the best criminal there is…the Joker! So he dresses like the Joker and starts doing some Joker mannerisms. Keep in mind this was right after the Tim Burton Batman, so Jack Nicholson is influencing the film as much as the 1960’s Batman TV series. As the Joker laughs manically around the evil hideout, we see his boss has also dressed up as a famous Batman criminal…the Penguin! Except, he is Paenguin! Because of a pun on his character’s name, and it also meaning a dirty joke in Tagalog slang. Joker and Paenguin are robbing a bank! They even gun down their own men. That always sounds cool, but it makes hiring replacements next to impossible. I don’t know how many Craigslist ads I had to put out the last time I gunned down my gang… And Christopher Nolan stole this plot point for his own Batman movie! Angelique the reporter is investigating the Joker and Paenguin attacks, which soon become a crime spree. And, yes, have a bunch of new goons (who they shortchange with the pay!) Joker visits Lisa – the cat woman! Animal Beauties – she has a Supergirl-ish costume with a mask, lots of cats, and lots of other tough girls hanging out with her at her place rob a bank…musical!!!!!!!!!! Kevin wants Kuya to join him and be Batman and Robin. And there’s a slam on the Starzan films out of nowhere! Kevin gets his friend Glasses to make the costumes, Batmobile, Batcave, and everything. Kuya finally agrees after the gang robs a jewelry store, and we have a training montage. The montage song is a Batman and Robin sung to the tune of Surf City! We immediately jump into another robbery and now the criminals are preforming a musical number. This is pretty surreal…but also pretty awesome. The Batcomputer warns Kuya and Kevin of yet another robbery, some goons are taking down an armored car. The boys quickly turn into Batman and Robin and rush to save the day. They drive up in their Batmobile and fight the armored car robbers. The Batman theme plays, total campy fun! After the dust has settled, the media descends. Batman makes his move on hot reporter Angelique, agreeing to an interview at the cemetery at night. He ends up taking her back to the batcave, which is packed to the gills with cardboard computers with blinking lights. There is a joke as Batman offers drinks: “Bat-juice? Bat-coffee? Bat-milk? Bat-tea? Salabat?” (Salabat is ginger tea, and now you know Tagalog jokes!) While this is going down, Paenguin’s gang attack another bank, but Paenguin is mad because Joker selected a blood bank and yells at him. Kevin is dismayed that all the girls who used to love him are now all in love with Robin. But when Kevin dresses up as Robin, it does nothing because all of the girls’ boyfriends are also dressed as Robin. I don’t think any Robin has ever had it this good. The Paenguin gang robs another bank, this time Catwoman has changed costume to an all-gold number with an even bigger gold domino mask with wingtip flair. She’s like Lady Gaga, but thankfully never shows up with a meat dress. This time Batman and Robin ambush the gang in the parking garage! They fight, goons vs. heroes, and Robin catches Paenguin while Batman captures Catwoman (after a long fight where her character makes angry cat noises with every motion.) Kevin and Vina have a love song when he finds out she is in love with him, while Kuya has a dream sequence that involves lots of girls in bikinis, including Angelique, who is menaced by goons until a masked Kuya saves her. This entire dream sequence is way to long, is filled with padding and conversations and failed jokes. The pacing of the film is thrown off-track! In reality, Batman visits Angelique at night showing off his new Batman shirt that is being sold by vendors, while Paenguin breaks out of jail with a bunch of other random criminals (all of which are gunned down by the guards except Paenguin.) Joker sends a helicopter to pick up Paenguin, and now he’s free to terrify the city once again. Kuya is in love and doesn’t want to be Batman anymore, forcing Kevin to storm off and be Robin all alone, beating up some thugs. The tabloids all wonder what is going on (if this was made nowadays, Twitter would be afire and bloggers would be pounding away in their basements!

In this episode, Tars and Todd sing the praises of Singh, Dara Sing, the manliest man of them all. Be a man and find all about how Dara Singh fights King Kong, cow dinosaurs, lizard puppets, 50 men at once, cyclops, Medusas, magic dwarfs, Moon men, Martians, space rhinos, stalker girlfriends, cardboard robots, and evil comic relief sidekicks. Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Movies discussed include: King Kong (1962) Samson Hercules Trip to Moon Thief of Baghdad Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2 Inkscape graphics via OpenClipArt

The Dwarf Sorcerer aka Magic Kid 1974HKMDB Link Directed by Yu Hon-Cheung Hey, look, it’s ANOTHER Taiwanese film about a boy whose parents are murdered/mom captured and he is rescued and taught kung fu in a weekend and then he fights for revenge against a bunch of demons and he can fly and do all sorts of crazy crap. It’s almost as if we have seen this before. 9 billion times. I think it IS the same story as Flyer of Young Prodigal, the names are the same (or same as they can be with horrible subtitle translations) and the story is the same. It is the same story, no question, it is just achieved in a different way. It even has similar groovy music. Now, Dwarf Sorcerer/Magic Kid was first, coming out in 1974 (or 1969 if you believe a few other websites), but does that mean it was the best? Keep in mind this is like being the best pile of dog poo. Director Yu Hon-Cheung helmed such genre films as Taiwanese kaiju film Monster from the Sea, Pearl Cheung Ling’s Burning of the Red Lotus Monastery, something called Mysterious Snake Women that I hope is awesome if I ever find it, and the somewhat common kung fu flick Revenge of the Shaolin Kid. So the images look terrifying, because of the poor quality of the print. But this is the only way to see Dwarf Sorcerer at this time, so you got to get used to it. And this still looks better than some prints I’ve seen of new films made by independent filmmakers, who somehow can make even digital film look like it was dragged behind a bus and set on fire. This print is probably just a VHS dub of a VCD that got transferred to DVD. That’s my theory, anyway. Buckle up, as this film is rare and ridiculous, we’ll be going in depth and this will be pretty long. Maybe you should go pee first so you don’t have to get up in the middle of reading. We’ll wait. Doo–doo–doo– You back? Good! I hope you washed your hands! Hygienic or not, here we go! Siao-Lung (???) – Siao-Lung is a Annoying Flying Kid, making this an Annoying Flying Kid movie! NOOOoooooOooOOooOOOoo!!!! Sadly, Siao-Lung doesn’t die the horrible death he deserves. I have no clue who this kid is played by. In-Hwa (???) – Siao-Lung’s mom gets locked up. Her crime? Being a mom! Also not being a willing participant in Evil Bad Guy’s House o’ Rape. Sifu (Cheung Kwong-Chiu) – Do most Sifus get their students by rescuing them via giant birds? Because that’s what we got here. Cheung Kwong-Chiu is also in The Lady Musketeer, The Angel Strikes Again, 13 Worms, Bruce, Kung Fu Girls, The Legend of Mother Goddess, and the awesomely named Spooky Kookies. Evil Bad Guy (???) – Not just bad, evil bad! That’s even badder than bad. It’s badder than the Power Glove. Evil Bad Guy kidnaps women, forcing them to a life of rape and servitude. He’s also down with polyamory–for himself only! Even look at another guy while dating Evil Bad Guy and you die. Funny, he also looks like everyone I’ve meet who is into polyamory. Evil Bad Guy’s magic and gang is brought down by a tiny kid. Little Girl (???) – Another of Sifu’s students who follows Siao-Lung and thus gets into trouble. Siao-Lung treats her like crap, meaning he probably has a crush on her. Or is a jerk. Probably a jerk. Happy Gorilla Family (???) – The Happy Gorilla Family are the best gorillas ever! They show up, started off evil as Dad tries to kill Siao-Lung (getting my good side!) but before Siao-Lung kills him, Mom runs by to beg for the life of her husband. Then they help Siao-Lung at the end, even suffering horrible injuries when they’re blown up. The Happy Gorilla Family us the Dwarf Sorcerer Theme as their theme song, and it fits goofy monkeys better than some annoying kid. The Happy Gorilla Family might also be known as The Alp. Karth Devil (???) – Karth Devil is a yellow ape monster thing that shoots gas from his armpits and teleports and does all sorts of other nasty things. Because he’s evil. Can turn into a tree, a pile of hair, and into flowers. Because he’s evil. A man named Shih-Ja is being chased Planet of the Apes-style through a field from foes that just laugh really really loud. The laughter causes terror in the chased man, and makes me wish he was being chased by a gang of Jokers. Instead, it is two dudes dressed up as cavemen who are kung fu masters. Shih-Ja leads the two cavemen directly to his house where his wife (In-Hwa) and young son (Siao-Lung) are. Dad is back for the first time in six months, and it is just to endanger his family. Shih-Ja has stolen a priceless jewel, for which a caveman appears and punches him over. The cavemen also beat up In-Hwa, then stab Shih-Ja dead with a spear to the back. Beating up In-Hwa is so easy, even a caveman can do it! These cavemen do it a few more times until Siao-Lung bites their legs. They throw Siao-Lung (Yes…KILL HIM!!!) But a giant muppet bird grabs Siao-Lung and flies away with him! NOooOOOooOOOO!!!! It’s opening credits time! Japanese jazzrock plays as the annoying kid Siao-Lung flies around the trees and blows stuff up. I am not sure how he is blowing stuff up, but it is probably because of kung fu. Or cherry bombs. He has a stick or something that flies and he rides on it. The Old Guy training him (we’re gonna call him Sifu) takes back the stick and tosses over and umbrella, so the kid can do some umbrella fu. This must be where Mary Poppins trained… Practice time is done, but Siao-Lung is not done learning “Konfu” just yet. Yes, the subtitles are awful, thank you very much. But we don’t need no stinking subtitles, which is good, because they forget to use them a lot in the flick. A guy, a woman, and a little girl are watching them for some reason. They try to attack Siao-Lung, but it is more tests and he calls them his brothers and sisters. So now Siao-lung has a new surrogate family and is an expert in kung fu, but has aged like two hours. Freaking Chinese efficiency! The three are guy Chalin (Ngok Yeung), woman Phonix (probably supposed to be Phoenix, but we’re going with Phonix!), and little girl Little Girl, who doesn’t even get a misspelled name. Siao-Lung has a flashback to his dad leaving (except the dad is called Lung-Er now for some reason – thanks, subtitles!) and also of dad being killed, which causes Siao-Lung to wake and cry. Oh, great. Why do all these films have minutes and minutes of annoying kids crying??? Siao-Lung runs out of the house to cry more, I guess the neighbors hadn’t all been awakened yet. Sifu finds him and tells him his mom isn’t at home, but won’t tell him where Mom is until tomorrow. He does show him via tv screen. Siao-Lung sees him mom get attempted raped by the evil bad guy, Evil Bad Guy, who then throws mom in their dungeon because she won’t have consensual sex. Yah, that’s what happened. Siao-Lung screams for his mom again and again, howling like an alley cat. It is annoying as frak. I hate this kid. I am having a hard time deciding whether his more annoying now or in the Flyer of Young Prodigal version. Then when the girl student comes by worried about him, he acts like a jerk to her! Siao-Lung, more like Jerk-Jerk! That night, Siao-Lung goes to sneak out. And he takes his umbrella. The next morning, Sifu tells the other three students to let Siao-Lung go by himself. Good job, Sifu, letting small kids go off to die. But I guess tht keeps you constantly busy with new kids to train, and you won’t have to waste time organizing reunion parties as there is no one to reunite what with everyone being dead. It is an efficient business plan. Siao-Lung is still screaming for his mom and now has a cape on, while a walking montage starts and a Chinese song about missing your mother plays. I wonder if this is the same song as in the other movie. I sure ain’t watching again to find out. It’s lazy time here at TarsTarkas.NET. So next up a lady screams for help, Siao-Lung quickly grabs his crotch. Uhmmm…. The lady is being attacked by dudes looking to get on the rape train. Choo-choo! Siao-Lung steps up and attacks them with his umbrella, stabbing one through the chest after his umbrella is cut. Wow, don’t mess with Mary Poppins, she’ll frak your smurf up! They lady gives him a magic sword as a reward, just like in the other movie. Any specific details about the magic sword are lost to white on white subs. So let’s pretend the sword is made of cheese! Later the rape dude who ran off gets his buddy, a guy with an eye patch and a chain that he swings in a circle to menace Siao-Lung. Siao-Lung starts to get hypnotized, but then isn’t hypnotized and then flies around annoying the bad guys. And also me. Siao-Lung kills the chain patch-eye, and then kills the guy who ran away by throwing a knife in his back as he was running away again. Then Siao-Lung once again grabs his crotch and runs off. I think Siao-Lung is Michael Jackson. Next up Siao-Lung needs to cross a river so there is a ferry guy who is taking him across, except the ferry guy is a mugger demon who tries to attack Siao-Lung. What is this, some sort of version of the scorpion and the frog? Except the moral is “Demons be muggers!” Frakking demons! Siao-Lung stops him in a badly choreographed sequence where he stabs the ferry guy in the crotch with his own knife, then tosses him in the river. Two demons hop out of the water like they were ejected from a toaster and attack, so Siao-Lung flies to the other side of the river (why did he hire a ferryman in the first place??!?!) The toaster water demons are killed dead very quickly. The head boss bad guy is watching all this for reasons unknown, and refers to Siao-Lung as Little Bastard which is awesome because I hate Siao-Lung. He declares it is ambush time and now someone underground is tunneling towards Siao-Lung like Bugs Bunny. The guy pops out and he’s another caveman dressed dude with a trident (possibly the spear in the beginning) and he stabs into a second Bugs Bunny digging trail, casing tons of blood to pour out. Except what he stabbed was a tiny rat!

The Infernal Brains are still around, and thanks to this new episode I have an excuse to throw up the graphics I threw together on Inkscape (click for huge): In this episode, Tars and Todd finish discussing a mishmash of Turkish Cinema, including a spot where we see double – Four Krustys! Also Two Turkish Phantoms, two other Turkish heroes with Iron in their name, and a devil who does not possess the trait of death. Download the mp3 (right click, save as) Watch in slideshow form: Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube! Click the graphic for Podcast Feed: Click here for iTunes Feed Movies discussed include: Kizil Maske Kizil Maske Iron Fist The Giants are Coming Iron Claw the Pirate Deathless Devil Prior Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1 Inkscape graphics via OpenClipArt

The Infernal Brains have returned, for another go-round in the world of cult cinema. Join Tars Tarkas and Todd Stadtman from Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill! as they dive into the rich history of Turkish Pop Cinema. You’ve probably seen some of these flicks, with various superheroes Turkey-ized, running around punching people for fifteen minutes straight and bedding everything with a heartbeat and a hole. So join the Infernal Brains as they go over some of the best films Turkey had to offer that featured dudes in costumes. Soon we’ll have an iTunes feed once things get approved. I also set up PodPress, so we have a podcast feed – https://tarstarkas.net/?feed=podcast – and there is a podcast player down below at the bottom of the post, giving at least three ways to hear it. So no excuses! And the audio is much improved! What things did we do differently? Absolutely nothing! I can’t explain it, but it happened. During the next round of recordings we’re going to try out a different recording format that should make the audio even better. Mp3 download link – Right-click, save as Podcast with stills for those of you who need something to look at: Movies discussed: Bedmen Yasara Adam 3 Dev Adam Orumcek Previously on Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2 Polly Shang Kuan

Yes, we finally named the joint podcast, it only took three episodes! Maybe by episode 6 I’ll have the iTunes feed figured out… Join Tars from TarsTarkas.NET and Todd from Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill! as we discuss Polly Shang Kuan and some of the weird and wonderful films she was a part of in her career. You can download the mp3 here (right-click, save-as) For those of you who like to look at still photos while people ramble on about silly films, here is the video version: Films discussed: Fight for Survival Zodiac Fighters Little Hero Previously on Infernal Brains: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1 Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2

And now we have Part 2 of the joint podcast from TarsTarkas.NET and 4DK about Taiwanese giant monster films. Join Tars from TarsTarkas.NET and Todd from Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill! as we discuss how annoying flying Taiwanese children are a threat to the very existence of giant monsters in Taiwan, as well as Taiwanese films that don’t fit into neat categories. Only one of the films mentioned this time are impossible for you to see at the moment, the rest are just highly difficult to locate! You can download the mp3 here (right-click, save-as) or just watch the flash version where I threw together some images to go along with what is discussed and even remembered to have an opening title card! Movies discussed include: Dwarf Sorcerer Flyer of Young Prodigal Young Flying Hero Boy and a Magic Box War God Thrilling Sword – Tars Review – 4DK Review Merciful Buddha Monkey War Phantom Magic Peach Blossom Legend of Mother Goddess The joint podcast will continue soon! It will definitely be better technically with less random noises and clearer microphones. We might even have a title for it by next time… Part One is located here

Yes, now you can listen to TarsTarkas.NET while you workout at the gym or play us in the background while you hose off the women you keep in the pit in your basement. TarsTarkas.NET doesn’t judge, and certainly isn’t calling the cops, we’re just ordering a pizza. Yeah, that’s it! Join Tars from TarsTarkas.NET and Todd from Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill! as they discuss giant monster movies out of Taiwan, a mysterious subgenre stooped in obscurity and discovery. In fact, much of the information is based on speculation and internet gossip! But it has giant monsters, so it is automatically awesome, even if the films are boring. And please ignore how we get Monster From the Sea and The Savior Monk mixed up! Films discussed include: Tsu Hong Wu The Fairy and the Devil Monster From The Sea The Savior Monk Sea Gods and Ghosts The Silver Maid Devil Fighter And more! You can download the mp3 here (right-click, save-as) or just play it with a handy dandy flash version that I threw together with a few images from the movies discussed: Coming soon will be Part 2, where annoying Taiwanese children will fly around and slaughter every giant monster they can find.

Superman (Telugu) 1980 Directed and written by Madhusudan Rao V. Are you are familiar with how Superman got his powers from Hanuman and got revenge on three evil cowboys? If so, then you know all about the Telugu language Superman! Everyone else, read on to be amazed! This Telugu cinema borrows from the Western Superman but manages to also follow the revenge films popular at the time. This is by far not the only Indian take on Superman. It isn’t even the most famous. That honor goes to the 1987 Hindi version of Superman that is generally considered the Indian Superman. That production even lifts scenes directly from the original 1978 film. But that was the FOURTH Indian Superman (This one is generally called Telugu Superman and is the third made) as there were two Superman films in the 1960s, Superman (directed by Mohammed Hussain and starring Jairaj and Nirupa Roy and there is no good information online about this film besides that) and Return of Mr. Superman which started out as another Superman film but got its title and concept altered slightly because the director was friends with the director of Superman. This title is available on VCD and we got a copy! There is also another film Dariya Dil that has a song and dance number where a character wears a Superman costume, but as that is the extent of the superhero antics it is not a true Indian Superman film. You must learn about the Tollywood film industry – the Telugu film industry, also known as Cinema of Andhra Pradesh, is the Southern Indian film industry. The main language is Telugu, hence the name (There is also a Tollywood nickname for Tamil cinema, but that is a whole different beast.) The Telugu film industry is believed to be the most prolific film producing industry currently (several other regions have also claimed that) NTR is the man! Rama Nandamuri Taraka Rao is what you get when you combine Elvis, Jackie Chan, James Bond, Cunyet Arkin, and John Wayne. Only ANR (Akkineni Nageswara Rao) even approaches him in popularity. NTR entered film in 1949, and eventually found fame in dozens and dozens of mythological films produced by the southern Indian film industry at that time. It is hard to even look up information about NTR without running into dozens of pictures of him in mythological garb. NTR starred in over 280 films, not counting the ones he wasn’t the main character in. NTR became a director and producer later, and eventually a politician. Unhappy with the current government of his own state and the corrupt party ruling it, NTR became the founder of the Telugu Desam Party (TDP) and served as Chief Minister of the state of Andhra Pradesh. India has a parliamentary system like Britain, so keep that in mind when you read the political things that happened. He served on full term, then when he was out of the country for open heart surgery one of his aides caused him to lose power, but the chaos caused no political mandate in the assembly, forcing the Indian government to appoint a new minister, who handed power back to NTR after a month’s time and NTR called for new elections. He served on for a second term, but after suffering a stroke he was unable to run for reelection on a third term and lost out on office for five years, until he was sufficiently recovered and ran again, getting elected minister for a third time in 1994. The TDP party encountered more turmoil in 1995 where it effectively shut NTR out, and NTR reformed a new TDP party but died in 1996 before any new action could take place. The TDP party continues to exist to this day as the most powerful regional party in India. NTR introduced many reform acts for common people, including equal inheritance rights for daughters, as well as price controls on rice for poor families and taking on corrupt officials. NTR had seven sons and four daughters across two wives, his son Nandamuri Balakrishna is considered another great Telugu actor and his grandson N. T. Rama Rao Jr. is a current young superstar in Telugu cinema, although he is criticized for imitating his grandfather too often. An NTR-only website could stay in business for years reviewing his films. Recently, scores of classic Telugu cinema has hit DVDs, to the point where the market is flooded and you can find old classics all over the place for cheap. So you have no excuse not to be able to see an NTR film. But please read this review first, so that way you don’t leave us mid-article! This presentation is in Telugu with no subtitles, but we don’t need no stinking subs! Raja (NTR) – Raja is just a boy when his parents are murdered by Evil Cowboys. He prays for strength from Hanuman and becomes Superman. But Raja still has his normal life, so he runs arond being a good guy. For a complete NTR biography, read the summary above of consult your local library. Superman (NTR) – Superman has the power of Hanuman the monkey god and thus wears a giant H on his chest instead of an S. But everyone calls him Superman, even the song and the film title, so he is Superman. Superman kills people in cold blood for vengeance’s sake. Jaya (Jayapradha) – she married producer Srikanth Nahata, who was already married with children and did not divorce. Both Jayapradha and Srikanth Nahata’s previous wife agreed to share him. Jayapradha joined the Telugu Desam Party in 1994 but eventually broke away and joined the Samajwadi Party, where she was elected to local parliament in 2004 and reelected in 2009. Miss Lee (Jayamalini) – Evil Wonder Woman who dresses like a Valkyrie and can walk through walls. She also makes deals with the devil and can call up demons. Is Evil Cowboy III’s girl, but also wants to seduce Superman. Jayamalini has starred in over 500 movies in languages such as Telugu, Tamil, Malayalam, Kannada, Hindi, and at least one English (English version of Shalimar.) Jayamalini was known for playing vamp roles. She eventually retired from films (I did not find a date) and married a policeman and had a daughter, who she has forbidden from entering the movie industry. Cousin Lakshma (???) – Superman’s cousin Lakshma was raised with him and wants to marry the son of Evil Cowboy III, but Evil Cowboy III is against it because he is a jerk. So she cries. Aunt (Pandari Bai) – Pandari Bai (or Pandharibai) was a prominent heroine of Telugu film in the 1950s and 60s, and eventually became a mother figure. By that time she was playing the mother to stars who she was the lover to years earlier. she died in 2003. Evil Cowboy I (???) – After killing Raja’s parents, Evil Cowboy I went on to control elephants in the forest and sent them to kill people. He was stopped by Superman, who turned the elephant on him. I don’t know who played him. Evil Cowboy II (???) – After killing Raja’s parents, Evil Cowboy II went on to control a gang of slavers and cannibals in a desert region in Southern India. Apparently, that is pretty common. He also has some super laser weapon that is powerless against Superman. I don’t know who played him. Evil Cowboy III (Kaikala Satyanarayana) – Evil Cowboy III is the evilest of all the evil cowboys. He leads the other two and is a big businessman. He was given a scar during the murder of Raja’s parents, which he covers with a goatee. Kaikala Satyanarayana has acted in over 777 films. He was introduced to the film industry by NTR, and became a popular villain actor. He entered politics in the 1996 Lok Sabha elections being elected for Machilipatnam constituency. I am told Satyanarayana is the king of all nine Rasas and hence the title NAVARASA NATANAA SARVABHOUMA has been synonymous with his name. I don’t know what that means. Raja’s family is in a cave that is shrine to Hanuman the monkey god guy, there is a big statue of the monkey god (that actually doesn’t look much like him, but whatever) Back at their house, the family is preparing an offering of valuable gems for Hanuman. Things are much too happy for their own good until three crazy cowboy robbers stroll in to the house, shoot dad, grab the loot, and shoot mom when she smacks one of them. All of this happens in front of young Raja. The cowboys also shoot the Hanuman priest who was at the home because I think he is Raja’s uncle. Raja goes to pray before the statue of Hanuman, his praying is shown to us in song form. Raja stabs himself in the stomach (?!?) and blood splatters on Hanuman. Hanuman statue then starts flashing as he comes to life. Hanuman is HUGE! And he looks nothing like the goofy statue. Giant Hanuman picks up the tiny child, and breathes a beam of light onto him, then puts him back down. Raja is now healed, and Hanuman disappears. Raja has been given super strength, and the power to toss cobras! His skin resists cobra bites, and injection needles. Thus he is now Superman! Begin titles! The Superman theme plays. Not that Superman theme, the Telugu Superman theme! It will play every time Superman does stuff, so you can download it here and jam along as Telugu Superman continues. Raja is now a grown man, he grew up to be NTR to be exact. Raja stumbles across an older couple tied up by the side of the road. Their daughter and son were kidnapped by rapists in a van/school bus-ish vehicle (I don’t know how to describe it) and the goons are trying to rape the girl (and the son also maybe? I am not sure) in the back while a presumed third rapist is behind the wheel missing out on all the action. Superman Raja gets in his tiny car and drives after him. No flying? Bus rapists aren’t a big enough emergency to fly over? The rapers pause their raping to pour a bucket of gasoline out the back window, then light a match. This sets the road on fire. Raja stops the car instead of just driving off the road around the mess. Raja steps out of the car AND IS SUDDENLY SUPRMAN!!!!! Superman flies over the flames..well, his doll does! Then he flies to the van/bus and beats the crap out of the rapists, who all get on the roof to fight him. You see that,

CNN reporter Susan Roesgen was covering the TeaBagging Party in Chicago (OMG, you mean the mainstream media covered this??? but Glen Beck said they wouldn’t dare!) and met up with some wacky idiots who couldn’t answer simple questions of why they were mad except “because”! FoxNews becomes upset that other networks are making fun of their manufactured protests and decides to fight back. So they airs an edited version mysteriously missing one of the chief weirdos to show how other channels are slandering their precious protests! The full, unedited video: The edited video shown on FoxNews: If you want to hear the event from a different angle as well as the crowd reaction right afterwards, check out this audio sample recorded by Chexmix (right click, save as!): Even better than that, they turn the CNN incident into an article on thefoxnation.com (aka foxnation.com ): Notice how the title of the article seems to not jibe with the title of the YouTube video! It is like opposite day. Almost as if they are lying and falsely stimulating the persecution complex that has hit the Right Wing like smallpox since November. Now worries, they then fixed the title of the YouTube video with a simple switching of the copy they embeded!: Thus, now they have completely covered their lying tracks. FoxNews – Jerks! But this can’t be Wingnut Web without the snark, so let’s see what the good citizens of thefoxnation.com think of CNN and reporter Susan Roesgen! Wah, the media asks us questions! Never mind those facts about how 95% of America got tax cuts, this thing I am making up about John McCain proves my point that we will all be paying 1 million% taxes! Asking a question=being a bitch! Shady, underhanded, unfair, unpatriotic tactics of asking a question! Those monsters! The reporter is ugly, thus I don’t care. Now let me put on Rush, who is so handsome! Yank her reporter’s license! antikos is an expert on PMS How dare reporters ask questions? Fire her immediately! Susan Roesgen=Kermit the Frog This guy somehow has access to CNN’s bank accounts, maybe that should be investigated… The 1954 in Craig 1954 is how many things he hates each minute Yeah, why would these protests on Tax Day have anything to do with taxes? I PREY for FREEDOME! Sue is unaware of how tax dollars work, no wonder she teabags everything! Sue shows again why she is a winner. Did I say “winner?” I meant “whiner!” Oh, I think you’ll take it… Obama controls all media! Take that, Jews! TEA TO$$ER is what you get when you combine Teabagging with Salad Tossing Oh, no, some guy from Kentucky has me surrounded! Jim spends every hour jerking it to the women of FoxNews (also Glenn Beck) Larry King has been elected as Presidente of Costa Rica! Forgive this poster, they lost most of their brain drinking radiator fluid Dumb people are still dumb. And we still have fun laughing at them! Hooray! Until next time, Wingnut Web is out. Check out photos of the Teabagging protest here.

Godzilland Say kids, what time is it? It’s Godzilland time! YAAAAYYY!! Wait, what the frak is Godzilland? Godzilland was a morning show for the kiddies that aired in Japan around the time Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 came out. Besides that, I know nothing about the show except for this sample episode that will get documented here. There is little to no information about this show anywhere (at least in English) so join TarsTarkas.NET as we sail into uncharted territory! March of Godzilla 4 had to have some crazy surprise, now didn’t it? The best part of Godzilland is the stylized cartoon kaiju They are all over the opening sequence, we have larva Mothra, that human who we will see is the host, Mechagodzilla, Anguirus, Rodan, Baragon, Gigan, Godzilla, Moguera, Mechagodzilla, Mothra egg, and more Mechagodzilla All of those Mechagodzillas probably mean that film either is about to or just came out. The inclusion of Moguera might indicate they already are working on SpaceGodzilla, but might not as SpaceGodzilla is MIA in the opening credits. King Ghidorah, Mothra as a Moth, and Mecha-King Ghidorah show up in this frame The top Kanji translate to “bouhan” which means “an exciting adventure” And Godzilland sure is! Here is our host, I think his first name is supposed to be Russell but I might be wrong. Russell hangs out with four Japanese chicks who are big Godzilla boosters They are the Godzilla Chicks (a name I made up for them) and in the beginning Russell asks them questions from a pile of cards. Interspacing animation time! Holy Godzilla vs. Bambi, Batman! The computer tells us all about King Ghidorah, Mechagodzilla, and other stuff. Pass the eggs! Are all these monsters stoned? COMMERCIAL BREAK!! Buy our Pocky-like substance, Lucky! Or we will be even weirder Japanese people! The most interesting commercial involves a rabbit and monkey collecting mushrooms… Than a giant red guy yells at him! That commercial was for candy. Be the White Ranger with the White Ranger Sword! (or whatever he was called in Japan!) More Super Sentai-ish stuff, I don’t recognize this toyline “Daimugen”? This robot needs to lay off the Hostess Ding-dongs! Godzilla is here to teach you! Teach you about cheap site gags! Okay, now the four Godzilla Girls are in school, with the host as the teacher We also got this guy, who is some sort of doctor in the window. Class is in session! Let’s do haiku poems! My poem is better My poem has much honor! Japanese girls laugh at silly gaijin Westerners I enjoy haiku and Strike Witches! Enjoy a nice video clip of Godzilla haiku! [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/godzilland_clip3.flv,480,385] This show is not a commercial. But buy these Bandai toys we are making poems about just by coincidence! The story of Godzilla Godzilla is crazy Now Godzilla looks to be suffering from severe schizophrenia, he should be in psychiatric care not on a children’s show! I’ll dameka you, Godzilla! Surprise cameo from Mechani-Kong! Tsuzuku? What the frak? I though we were done with that after we finished Godzilla Island! Those bastards! And now the Godzilla News Network! Frakking liberal media! The news is mysteriously about the Godzilla movie just released in theaters… This blatant commercialization sickens me to my metal non-soul! Hey, Godzilla’s gotta eat, you jerk! Just like any local news station… No one cares about how children just learned violence solves problems. Watch as the news becomes the news! [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/godzilland_clip1.flv,480,385] Children: Buy this Rodan Toy! Cry and scream until Mommy buys you all of these Bandai toys! Silly Godzilla, you can’t skateboard! You are punished with a trivia question! This is a tough one! Too bad they don’t tell us the answer! Children, these toys are number one super star doki doki! BabyGodzilla toyu desu! Also buy our Godzilland sweatshirts, or Godzilla will hate you. You don’t want that, do you? This sign says “Tora tora tora” Because all you Japanese kids are fat, we gotta exercise! Exercise you lard-butts! Godzilla threatens to kick the butt of anyone who isn’t exercising! Even these ugly Japanese children exercise! Flight attendants exercise! Even the dojo exercises! Everyone exercise and conform! You bring dishonor if you don’t! You can exercise also! Why you would, I don’t know… [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/godzilland_clip2.flv,480,385] Let’s talk to the Window Guy as the show closes! Window Guy made a bad joke, so Russell covers him up and waves goodbye! The show refuses to end without telling you about Bandai one more time Also, Godzilla is smoking bubbles, including King Ghidorah.. Baragon… Mothra… Rodan… And Mechagodzilla! That’s it, so that’s all we got for Godzilland! Until more shows pop up online, this is all we will have. Kids seriously watched this? Anyone who thinks Japanese kids are more advanced than American kids just got a load of refutation thanks to this ridiculous program! Now we know Japanese kids are just as dumb as Americans, and their shows are just as stupid! Commercials disguised as TV shows are a universal concept. This one is nowhere near as fun as Godzilla Island was, but they can’t be all winners. Please give feedback below! Email us and tell us how much we suck!

This entry chronicles commercials starring Godzilla-like creatures and other kaiju. We got some wacky-looking monsters and some just different enough to not get sued monsters both trying to get us to buy their wares. Check out Part 1 for more commercials, and stay tuned for Part 3, which will be where I totally nerd out so much it will frighten some of you. Bembos – I had no idea what Bembos was until I saw this not only is there a King Kong creature running through the city, but a Godzilla-ish monster shows up at the end! Bembos is a hamburger chain somewhere in South America, and make big hamburgers. The only thing big enough to satisfy this gorilla, who grabs one and bites and bites, finally getting stuffed. Too stuffed to play with the raspy Godzilla clone at the end. That Godzilla clone has the most demonic voice I have ever heard. It is crazy. I like it! [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/BEMBOS.flv,320,270] Ladders Monster X Commercial – Ladders is a job website that claims to be only for top talent. So of course they hire lame-o Guilala (just off resurfacing in The Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit) instead of a monster I don’t have to tell the name of to everyone who sees the commercial. Tiny Guilala run around and fail to impress, until the giant Guilala arrives to smash up the city! [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/LaddersGuilala.flv,384,246] BC Dairy: Giant Monster – Stop motion animation makes a rare appearance here, despite the fact the King Kong films originated with the technique. Here, the monster tries to terrorize a city, but his poor health and brittle bones from lack of good nutrition puts a damper on things. He slinks to the sea while lamenting “Must drink more milk!” [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/BC_Dairy_Giant_Monster.flv,320,270] Goody Godzilla – Goody smashes up the city and gets attacked by the army, but then the director yells “cut!” You see, as the announcer explains, Goody is an immigrant actor in Thailand to do a movie role, and he needs to cash his check and send money back home to his mom (another monster) and his wife and kids (normal humans.) Goody is a good monster, and use whatever cash transfer service this was an ad for. [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/GoodyGodzilla.flv,320,270] Godzilla in Thailand – Godzilla here has braces, horns, and a big tongue. His rampage on the city comes to a halt as he runs out of fire breath fluid, and is quickly made a laughing stock. No matter, he gets a refill from some gasoline, and is soon firing away again. Problems arise because the gasoline is powerful, and soon Thailand Godzilla is blasted into space. [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/GodzillaInThailand.flv,320,270] King Kong vs. Ford Trucks – A truck loaded with bananas is yanked, but soon the truck is being smashed into a cliff again and again by Kong. It turns out that this is Son of Kong, who is soon yelled at by dad for playing instead of eating. Dad has the angriest face I have ever seen. he smashes the truck, and Son of Kong starts to cry. Dad pulls out the truck (still unharmed) but then tosses it away, back to where it was, and it still ain’t hurt. Ford tough! [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/King_Kong.flv,320,270] Hummer Monsters – A hairy Godzilla clone meets a giant robot, and it is love at first site! Soon, Godzilla clone is pregnant, and gives birth to a baby Hummer! Buy Hummers. A classic Super Bowl commercial. [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/HummerMonsters.flv,320,238] Pepto Bismal Pepto Max Commercial – This is my favorite of the lot, I loved it when it was on TV. We got monsters. A robot, Paul Bunyan, a giant fly, a Godzilla-like monster, the 50 Foot Woman (in Goddess gear) [FLOWPLAYER=https://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/Pepto-Bismol_-_Pepto_Max_commercial.flv,320,270] Now we have done our commercial retrospective (yes, we are missing commercials, but this is enough for now. we had to leave some for next year. And if you don’t like it, I’ll send a whole horde of these commercial kaiju to your house! Just to prove our nerd cred, we will do an analysis of these commercial kaiju; their powers, weaknesses, and biographical information. Because only TarsTarkas.NET is crazy enough to do it! Please give feedback below! Email us and tell us how much we suck!