Am I holding a grudge or is it trauma that I am experiencing?

Am I holding a grudge or is it trauma that I am experiencing? -My Pen Name is what gives me strength, that was birthed from all the trauma I had and what sparked it? When I finally spoke up and said no to a situation. With that said, when it comes to trauma, people from the outside looking in, will see it as a grudge. You learn later, that it isn't a grudge, it is trauma. Often times, it is the fight-or-flight response is a physiological reaction to a stressful or dangerous situation that prepares the body to either fight or flee - that is part of my Complex-PTSD- "A fight-or-flight response is a common reaction for people with complex PTSD (CPTSD) or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)"