An Assless episode

S3E6 - 10/13/2025 If toilets were sentient, would you rather they hate or love their job? Would you accept $50,000 but you have to wear a different hat every single day for five years and you can never repeat a hat style and someone is checking? Do you think staplers are aware that they're slowly running out of staples, or is it more of a sudden shock when they realize they're empty? If you had to replace all the carbonation in the world with something else, what would it be? Would you rather have unlimited garlic bread, or the ability to read minds but only when people are thinking about garlic bread? If you woke up and there was a perfectly spherical hole in your bedroom wall that wasn't there yesterday and when you look through it you can see someone else's bedroom and they're also looking through a hole at you, would you shoot them? Would you rather know the exact location of every spider within a 50-foot radius at all times, or never know where any spiders are but all of the spiders are lowkey chill in a deadass sort of way in which their mechanics are interesting and unique? How many pencils do you think could fit in your mouth before you knew for sure that there were some pencils in there? Like, give me a specific number? What percentage of your brain do you reckon is just useless brain cells that are still hanging on, like honestly give me a number right now or this podcast is going down with me? If you had to fight a hundred duck sized horses would you rather the horses were duck sized or horse sized? Give me a specific number. Now.