Anticipatory Grief: Finding Meaning Before Loss

Anticipatory grief is a tender and deeply human experience that arises when we sense or know that a loss is coming—whether it’s the impending farewell of a loved one, the decline of a beloved pet, or the transition from one life chapter to the next. In this heartfelt episode I open up about my personal journey of preparing to say goodbye to our sweet Bailey dog and explore the emotional, physical, and mental layers of grief before loss. We’ll unpack what anticipatory grief really means, how it differs from traditional grief, and the complex emotions that come with it—like sadness, anxiety, guilt, and even moments of gratitude. You’ll also discover practical tools to navigate this delicate space with love and intention: Gentle movement practices to release tension and honor your emotions. Mindfulness techniques to stay present in the moment. Ways to find meaning and connection, even in the midst of heartache. This episode isn’t just about grief—it’s about embracing the fragile beauty of life and love, cherishing the time we have, and holding space for all the feelings that come with deep connection. Whether you’re experiencing anticipatory grief or supporting someone who is, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, supported, and empowered to move through this tender time with compassion for yourself. Want to watch the Gentle Movement Practice to help you find calm in the grief you can here: https://youtu.be/8s0KK0h6TzA Please find the show notes below. Since it is a transcription there may be spelling errors and/or weird grammar. Ignore that and enjoy! 100:00:00,320 --> 00:00:02,400Hello and welcome to a movement of people 200:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,040who care so much about how they feel that 300:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,480they make time for themselves and their 400:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,480health every day. I'm a leader of this 500:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,720movement and the host of this podcast, 600:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,120and my name is Megan Nolan. I am a 700:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,120personal trainer, a yoga instructor, a 800:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,040mental fitness coach, a best-selling 900:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,600author, an award-winning speaker, and I'm 1000:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,840neurodivergent. So yeah, I got lots going 1100:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,800on too. But I'm on a mission to help 1200:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,440you make sure that not only you get to do 1300:00:27,440 --> 00:00:28,960all the big, incredible things that are 1400:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,800on your heart to do in the world, but you 1500:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,600also get to actually enjoy your 1600:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,000life and everything that you've created 1700:00:36,160 --> 00:00:38,561too. And that's what this podcast is all 1800:00:38,561 --> 00:00:41,041about, helping you to do just that. So 1900:00:41,281 --> 00:00:43,361let's jump in to today's episode. 2000:00:44,481 --> 00:00:47,081Hello, and welcome back to 2100:00:47,161 --> 00:00:49,641another episode of the Movement, Mind and 2200:00:49,641 --> 00:00:52,401Meaning podcast. Today 2300:00:52,401 --> 00:00:54,081is one that is 2400:00:55,121 --> 00:00:58,001really alive for me 2500:00:58,001 --> 00:01:00,961right now, um as they 2600:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,441all are for sure. But this one 2700:01:03,441 --> 00:01:06,081is even more so 2800:01:06,161 --> 00:01:08,561deeply. So 2900:01:08,641 --> 00:01:11,201I'm in a pretty tender place right now 3000:01:11,761 --> 00:01:14,721as our 16-year-old doggy at 3100:01:14,721 --> 00:01:17,441this moment in time is 3200:01:18,081 --> 00:01:19,961preparing to head over the Rainbow 3300:01:19,961 --> 00:01:22,561Bridge. And 3400:01:22,561 --> 00:01:25,121likely when you listen to this, at 3500:01:25,121 --> 00:01:26,721least depending on timing, 3600:01:28,081 --> 00:01:30,801yeah, when you listen to this, he will 3700:01:30,801 --> 00:01:33,281have already transitioned. He has 3800:01:33,281 --> 00:01:35,121congestive heart disease and it has 3900:01:35,121 --> 00:01:37,521progressed over the last few years 4000:01:38,801 --> 00:01:41,401and it's time and it's a really difficult 4100:01:41,401 --> 00:01:44,161place to be in. And as a caregiver, 4200:01:45,361 --> 00:01:47,321that's our ultimate responsibility is to 4300:01:47,321 --> 00:01:50,001care for him and unfortunately. 4400:01:50,641 --> 00:01:53,361As his body is fading and his trachea has 4500:01:53,361 --> 00:01:54,482partially collapsed, 4600:01:56,962 --> 00:01:59,122it's time because we want this to be 4700:01:59,122 --> 00:02:02,002graceful, as graceful as this can be 4800:02:02,002 --> 00:02:04,162and as easeful as this can be for 4900:02:04,242 --> 00:02:06,962everyone. So right now 5000:02:07,282 --> 00:02:09,442I have learned I am sitting in 5100:02:10,522 --> 00:02:12,322what is called. I didn't know this was a 5200:02:12,322 --> 00:02:15,282thing until recently. Anticipatory grief, 5300:02:16,002 --> 00:02:18,642meaning the. Mental, 5400:02:18,642 --> 00:02:20,842emotional, physical response to 5500:02:21,362 --> 00:02:24,202this very real event, this 5600:02:24,202 --> 00:02:26,482stressor. And 5700:02:26,722 --> 00:02:29,202since this show is about mind and body 5800:02:29,202 --> 00:02:32,002tools to navigate beyond 5900:02:32,002 --> 00:02:34,402and through anxiety and depression, 6000:02:35,362 --> 00:02:38,242this is a very real thing. This loss, 6100:02:38,482 --> 00:02:41,362this loss when it happens in the 6200:02:41,362 --> 00:02:44,002moment, this loss in this 6300:02:44,642 --> 00:02:46,802future moment is which is what I'm 6400:02:46,802 --> 00:02:49,602experiencing. And so I didn't even know 6500:02:49,602 --> 00:02:51,842that this was a thing until, you know, 6600:02:51,842 --> 00:02:53,522just a couple of days ago when I started 6700:02:53,522 --> 00:02:56,402to look into this. And so, you know, 6800:02:56,402 --> 00:02:59,362as it is very similar to grief, 6900:02:59,362 --> 00:03:02,242but grief usually happens once an event 7000:03:02,242 --> 00:03:04,242occurs, right?So this 7100:03:04,242 --> 00:03:06,882anticipatory sort of 7200:03:07,042 --> 00:03:10,003limbo, if you will, once 7300:03:10,003 --> 00:03:12,083you get the news about something and the 7400:03:12,083 --> 00:03:13,923feelings that you start to experience 7500:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,563right away. And it's, I got to tell you, 7600:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,283is really confusing and very conflicting. 7700:03:19,763 --> 00:03:21,443And so, you know, this can be 7800:03:23,043 --> 00:03:25,123at the loss, the the pending 7900:03:25,523 --> 00:03:27,763loss of a pet or a loved one. 8000:03:28,723 --> 00:03:31,363It occurs a lot in a diagnosis, 8100:03:31,803 --> 00:03:33,723which makes sense because someone might 8200:03:33,723 --> 00:03:36,163be grieving the loss of their vitality 8300:03:36,163 --> 00:03:38,403and their health, you know, 8400:03:38,643 --> 00:03:41,363maybe. Knowing that there's 8500:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,683financial changes at a workplace and and 8600:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,603the pending announcements of 8700:03:47,603 --> 00:03:49,643like losing a job or you know a 8800:03:49,643 --> 00:03:51,883relationship or something like that or or 8900:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,083recently and I mean it's probably longer 9000:03:54,083 --> 00:03:56,803than recently. But another thing is 9100:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,803is climate grief, you know, because 9200:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,803there's this these very real changes that 9300:04:00,803 --> 00:04:03,323are happening. And so anticipatory grief 9400:04:03,323 --> 00:04:05,403can happen at these broader existential 9500:04:05,403 --> 00:04:07,923levels as well and so. 9600:04:08,403 --> 00:04:10,643It's a really natural process, but it's 9700:04:10,643 --> 00:04:13,123it's complicated and it's it's heavy. And 9800:04:13,123 --> 00:04:15,843so I'm speaking to this 9900:04:15,843 --> 00:04:18,083because, you know, one of my core values 10000:04:18,483 --> 00:04:20,883is integrity and authenticity and 10100:04:21,683 --> 00:04:23,763this is very alive and very real for me 10200:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,004right now. And 10300:04:28,484 --> 00:04:30,004grief is something that we all go 10400:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,564through. We all experience grief 10500:04:33,364 --> 00:04:36,084and it's. 10600:04:39,764 --> 00:04:42,244It's part of our our range of emotion 10700:04:44,124 --> 00:04:44,484and 10800:04:47,044 --> 00:04:49,684it's an expression and a reflection of 10900:04:49,684 --> 00:04:51,884the love and 11000:04:51,884 --> 00:04:53,444appreciation that you had 11100:04:54,644 --> 00:04:57,204for whatever it is that you are 11200:04:57,204 --> 00:04:59,844grieving and 11300:05:01,524 --> 00:05:04,444it's. Mentally and physically and 11400:05:04,444 --> 00:05:06,564emotionally, very similar to other 11500:05:06,564 --> 00:05:08,324experiences of grief that I've had in the 11600:05:08,324 --> 00:05:11,164sense of like the the sadness and the 11700:05:11,164 --> 00:05:14,084heartache and the the 11800:05:14,084 --> 00:05:17,004numbness. But it's 11900:05:17,004 --> 00:05:19,924so unique because 12000:05:20,964 --> 00:05:23,564he's still here, at least in this moment. 12100:05:23,844 --> 00:05:26,644And and you know, 12200:05:27,524 --> 00:05:29,284that's so strange because there's this 12300:05:29,284 --> 00:05:32,244conflicting like. Knowing of what's 12400:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,564coming in the void because I've lost a 12500:05:34,564 --> 00:05:36,564pet before, I've lost loved ones and you 12600:05:36,564 --> 00:05:38,044know I've talked in other episodes about 12700:05:38,044 --> 00:05:39,804losing my father rather abruptly and 12800:05:41,365 --> 00:05:44,005but there it's it's that knowing that 12900:05:44,005 --> 00:05:45,525anticipatory like 13000:05:46,245 --> 00:05:48,685knowing you know or at least conceptually 13100:05:48,685 --> 00:05:50,325we think we know cause we've experienced 13200:05:50,325 --> 00:05:53,205something similar and like it's it's 13300:05:53,205 --> 00:05:55,685confusing and it's overwhelming because 13400:05:55,685 --> 00:05:57,685it's you know. How will things be 13500:05:57,685 --> 00:05:59,365different?How will I cope with this?Oh my 13600:05:59,365 --> 00:06:00,765God, is this going to be brutal?Is this 13700:06:00,765 --> 00:06:03,365going to like rip a massive crap 13800:06:03,845 --> 00:06:06,005hole in my heart?Because that's what 13900:06:06,005 --> 00:06:07,485happened with Nala. And you know, and 14000:06:07,485 --> 00:06:10,325like it's that causes a lot of 14100:06:10,325 --> 00:06:12,405anxiety and uncertainty. And of course, 14200:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,965you know, the grief, the sadness is real. 14300:06:15,605 --> 00:06:18,485And then it's so challenging because 14400:06:18,485 --> 00:06:20,565he's here still and and you know. 14500:06:21,445 --> 00:06:23,285Feeling this sadness around him and I 14600:06:23,285 --> 00:06:24,885don't want him to feel that energy and 14700:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,405you know, and so it's just this really 14800:06:26,405 --> 00:06:27,125interesting 14900:06:29,365 --> 00:06:32,245sort of duality of this deep sadness 15000:06:32,245 --> 00:06:35,125and this desire to be present and 15100:06:35,125 --> 00:06:38,045be joyful and be with him and 15200:06:38,045 --> 00:06:39,885create these lasting moments together 15300:06:39,885 --> 00:06:42,165because that's how I want to remember him 15400:06:42,525 --> 00:06:44,205and that's how I will remember him. And 15500:06:44,205 --> 00:06:46,725so you know, it's really important that 15600:06:46,725 --> 00:06:49,685we in this community, our work and and 15700:06:49,685 --> 00:06:52,405one of our. Our tenants is that all of 15800:06:52,405 --> 00:06:54,965you is welcome here, all of these 15900:06:54,965 --> 00:06:56,886feelings, all of these parts of you. 16000:06:57,526 --> 00:06:59,046And sometimes, 16100:07:00,886 --> 00:07:03,526especially like me, if you've experienced 16200:07:03,526 --> 00:07:05,766really heavy and hard seasons of sadness, 16300:07:06,966 --> 00:07:09,886there's a fear around 16400:07:09,926 --> 00:07:12,486that taking hold again 16500:07:14,406 --> 00:07:16,966because we know it's that sadness is with 16600:07:16,966 --> 00:07:19,686grief is very real and. 16700:07:22,726 --> 00:07:25,366It's so 16800:07:25,366 --> 00:07:28,086important to have these tools and to have 16900:07:28,086 --> 00:07:30,846this conversation because, you know, we 17000:07:30,846 --> 00:07:32,646can't be high vibe all the time and and 17100:07:32,646 --> 00:07:34,566nor should you be. That's not real. 17200:07:35,926 --> 00:07:38,166It's not real. It's not. And it's 17300:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,166dismissive and it's toxic and it's 17400:07:40,166 --> 00:07:42,566bypassing. And when we 17500:07:42,566 --> 00:07:45,206experience deep emotions like this, 17600:07:46,006 --> 00:07:48,966there is a tenderness that comes and 17700:07:49,366 --> 00:07:52,326this. Deep connection to self 17800:07:52,726 --> 00:07:54,966that comes and there's 17900:07:55,806 --> 00:07:57,526and there's so many different 18000:07:57,526 --> 00:07:59,646perspectives on grief in that because it 18100:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,446takes us to this tender place in the 18200:08:01,446 --> 00:08:04,086heart, it gives so much 18300:08:04,406 --> 00:08:07,046perspective. And 18400:08:08,246 --> 00:08:10,966what I've been sitting into now is, you 18500:08:10,966 --> 00:08:13,287know, and I know he's he's a dog, so it's 18600:08:13,287 --> 00:08:15,127kind of different, but it's not. It's 18700:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,727like. How fully can you live each life? 18800:08:17,727 --> 00:08:20,007And that's the thing is like he he's dog 18900:08:20,047 --> 00:08:22,327and so he was just fully vibrant like his 19000:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,887life was just joy. It was, you know, tail 19100:08:24,887 --> 00:08:27,767wagging and stick jumping and like eating 19200:08:27,847 --> 00:08:30,727a lot of eating. But he was so fully 19300:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,207present in each moment and that's the 19400:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,847reminder, you know, it's like this the 19500:08:34,887 --> 00:08:37,607just the go for it and this willingness 19600:08:37,607 --> 00:08:40,087to to live life fully and don't hold back 19700:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,447and like it's there's never going to be a 19800:08:41,447 --> 00:08:43,527better time. There's only this moment now 19900:08:44,167 --> 00:08:47,127and so this recognition of. Although, you 20000:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,887know, it can feel like this 20100:08:51,047 --> 00:08:53,487spiral and this vacillation, oscillation 20200:08:53,487 --> 00:08:55,687between this numbness and this 20300:08:55,687 --> 00:08:58,607heaviness and and the sadness 20400:08:58,607 --> 00:09:00,887and this desire to love and appreciate 20500:09:00,887 --> 00:09:03,447him while I still can and while we still 20600:09:03,447 --> 00:09:05,287can. And of course we always will, but I 20700:09:05,287 --> 00:09:07,927mean in the physical 3D sense, 20800:09:08,567 --> 00:09:10,167you know, and whatever that is like. 20900:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,927It's really important for us to have 21000:09:13,927 --> 00:09:16,007these tools because this 21100:09:16,087 --> 00:09:18,327anticipatory grief differs in the sense 21200:09:18,327 --> 00:09:21,207of of it's ongoing, right?Like we haven't 21300:09:21,207 --> 00:09:23,927even got to that tough moment yet. And so 21400:09:23,927 --> 00:09:26,887now it's already very real for 21500:09:26,887 --> 00:09:29,848me. And so it's 21600:09:30,888 --> 00:09:33,568giving me in a sense, giving us time to 21700:09:33,568 --> 00:09:36,088prepare and and I'm 21800:09:36,088 --> 00:09:38,328wondering, I'm hoping that if you know 21900:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,648this sort of walking through it 22000:09:40,648 --> 00:09:43,608now. I don't know how it'll shifted 22100:09:43,648 --> 00:09:46,568on the other side of things, but what I'm 22200:09:46,648 --> 00:09:48,568recognizing is these these 22300:09:48,808 --> 00:09:50,568tools of 22400:09:51,768 --> 00:09:54,448noticing when I'm in the 22500:09:54,448 --> 00:09:56,688deep emotional, physical, mental, 22600:09:56,688 --> 00:09:58,168emotional experience of it. 22700:10:00,008 --> 00:10:01,848And maybe that's where I'm preparing 22800:10:01,848 --> 00:10:03,688myself even more. And maybe this is where 22900:10:03,688 --> 00:10:05,888you can, you know, play with this if God 23000:10:05,888 --> 00:10:08,648forbid heaven, goddess, universe, 23100:10:09,008 --> 00:10:11,928whatever. Forbid that you too experience 23200:10:11,928 --> 00:10:13,728this at one point, or maybe you found 23300:10:13,728 --> 00:10:16,248this because you are. And so 23400:10:18,168 --> 00:10:20,888really recognizing those those 23500:10:20,888 --> 00:10:23,848cues, those signals from your body, 23600:10:25,288 --> 00:10:27,528from your mind as well. And so 23700:10:27,688 --> 00:10:30,648dropping into the experience of it 23800:10:31,528 --> 00:10:34,088because I've noticed that I'm. 23900:10:34,528 --> 00:10:36,088When I'm really in the 24000:10:37,848 --> 00:10:39,608the anxiousness and the sadness and the 24100:10:39,608 --> 00:10:42,488spiral of of the the deep, 24200:10:42,728 --> 00:10:43,128deep 24300:10:45,449 --> 00:10:48,329tension and and pain of it, 24400:10:48,809 --> 00:10:51,289that when I bring it 24500:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,329and I drop into my body and I have placed 24600:10:54,329 --> 00:10:57,049my hands on my body and I breathe and I 24700:10:57,049 --> 00:10:59,849feel into where it is, which you know, 24800:11:00,329 --> 00:11:02,489admittedly. In the past I've been so 24900:11:02,489 --> 00:11:04,809reluctant to feel it because it I thought 25000:11:04,809 --> 00:11:06,769it would make it worse. But when we're 25100:11:06,769 --> 00:11:08,889very in our mind, there's so much more 25200:11:08,889 --> 00:11:10,849contributing to that experience. And in 25300:11:10,849 --> 00:11:13,289our body there's this I 25400:11:13,289 --> 00:11:15,009experience it. I should say I'm only 25500:11:15,009 --> 00:11:16,329speaking from personal experience 25600:11:18,089 --> 00:11:20,009that when I bring it into my body and I 25700:11:20,009 --> 00:11:22,729feel it into my body and I approach it 25800:11:22,729 --> 00:11:25,689with this sense of a deep holding 25900:11:25,689 --> 00:11:28,409and love and I imagine that I am, 26000:11:28,569 --> 00:11:31,449I'm. Enveloped and surrounded by 26100:11:31,449 --> 00:11:34,329this deep, unending 26200:11:34,969 --> 00:11:37,689wave and presence of deep, 26300:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,569deep, deep, pure love. I I hold 26400:11:40,569 --> 00:11:42,769myself in that first and then I go into 26500:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,729it. So that's bringing an extra layer of 26600:11:44,729 --> 00:11:47,529protection and tools. And then I I hold 26700:11:47,529 --> 00:11:49,609the space for that and it feels like 26800:11:51,289 --> 00:11:53,609I can go in there and I allow the feeling 26900:11:53,609 --> 00:11:55,489to be safe and to be held because that 27000:11:55,489 --> 00:11:58,009part of me that's really sad or that is 27100:11:58,009 --> 00:12:00,170experiencing the grief. Wants to be 27200:12:00,170 --> 00:12:01,890witnessed, wants to be held, wants to be 27300:12:01,890 --> 00:12:04,010seen and loved and support at times, 27400:12:04,010 --> 00:12:05,770right?At times. Sometimes we pull away. 27500:12:06,490 --> 00:12:09,210And so when we can bring ourself into the 27600:12:09,210 --> 00:12:11,770felt sense experiencing of it and really 27700:12:11,770 --> 00:12:14,730name it and honor it, rather than 27800:12:14,810 --> 00:12:17,050attempting to bypass it or push it away 27900:12:17,050 --> 00:12:19,210or just 28000:12:22,250 --> 00:12:24,490avoid it because it's brutal, 28100:12:26,090 --> 00:12:27,810it really gives us the space to feel it 28200:12:27,810 --> 00:12:30,570fully. And that seems strange, 28300:12:30,570 --> 00:12:32,090right?Cause like, why would I want to go 28400:12:32,090 --> 00:12:33,450and do that?Why would I, why would I 28500:12:33,450 --> 00:12:35,130subject myself to that?But I'm telling 28600:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,930you, it's such an incredible difference. 28700:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,450Like the how I can explain it is that if 28800:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,850I'm in it in my mind, it feels like, you 28900:12:41,850 --> 00:12:43,490know, when there's a crazy stormy day out 29000:12:43,490 --> 00:12:45,530on the ocean and the waves are choppy and 29100:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,530big and the sky is Gray and the water is 29200:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,930Gray and it just looks like, whoa, it you 29300:12:49,930 --> 00:12:52,130can tell it's a stormy day. That's what 29400:12:52,130 --> 00:12:53,450it feels like when I'm in my mind and 29500:12:53,450 --> 00:12:55,850when I go into my body to feel it, 29600:12:57,890 --> 00:13:00,730it feels like. Being in a peaceful 29700:13:00,730 --> 00:13:03,610Bay and it's just just floating 29800:13:04,890 --> 00:13:07,770and that's right now. 29900:13:08,410 --> 00:13:10,210I know that that can change, but it just 30000:13:10,210 --> 00:13:12,810gives me an opportunity to be present and 30100:13:12,810 --> 00:13:14,730to to love and support yourself. So I'm 30200:13:14,730 --> 00:13:16,091just putting that out there as an 30300:13:16,091 --> 00:13:18,291opportunity and as an option and and 30400:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,491holding it. And of course, you know, 30500:13:20,491 --> 00:13:22,571these are tools and movement is such a 30600:13:22,571 --> 00:13:25,131big tool and getting support 30700:13:25,131 --> 00:13:26,971surrounding yourself in community, you 30800:13:26,971 --> 00:13:29,411know, if you found this. If you're not a 30900:13:29,411 --> 00:13:31,291listener to the weekly podcast and you 31000:13:31,291 --> 00:13:33,691found this by some magic of the algorithm 31100:13:34,011 --> 00:13:36,691gods, you know, really giving 31200:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,331yourself the support that you need and 31300:13:38,331 --> 00:13:39,531hoefully you're finding that this is 31400:13:39,531 --> 00:13:42,011helpful, but reaching out to people. Like 31500:13:42,011 --> 00:13:43,731reaching out to people that love you and 31600:13:43,731 --> 00:13:45,211and you know, and I've got to give myself 31700:13:45,211 --> 00:13:48,091some gold stars, giving myself some gold 31800:13:48,091 --> 00:13:50,011stars right now. Because, you know, I've 31900:13:50,011 --> 00:13:51,651told my loved ones, I've told my friends 32000:13:51,651 --> 00:13:53,451that, you know, he's, he's going over the 32100:13:53,451 --> 00:13:54,731bridge on Saturday and 32200:13:58,331 --> 00:14:00,971it's, yeah, it just feels 32300:14:00,971 --> 00:14:03,851so surreal. But I've asked them to 32400:14:03,851 --> 00:14:06,731check in on me and that to me 32500:14:06,731 --> 00:14:08,651feels like a big win because, you know, 32600:14:08,651 --> 00:14:10,331before in my sadness I would just. 32700:14:10,971 --> 00:14:13,531Isolate and recluse. I don't know if 32800:14:13,531 --> 00:14:14,971that's the right word, but I would pull 32900:14:14,971 --> 00:14:17,291away and I know that I will need to do 33000:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,731that, right. And there's there's some 33100:14:18,731 --> 00:14:20,851internalization that that happens with 33200:14:20,851 --> 00:14:23,171all of this. But I'm protecting myself 33300:14:23,171 --> 00:14:25,371from sliding down that slippery slope 33400:14:25,371 --> 00:14:27,531into deep sadness and depression by 33500:14:27,531 --> 00:14:29,371having people check in on me and feeling 33600:14:29,371 --> 00:14:32,092that love and using the tools and and so 33700:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,452yeah, I just really hope that. 33800:14:36,572 --> 00:14:38,492Again, the intention for this whole show 33900:14:38,492 --> 00:14:40,412is to normalize these challenges as a 34000:14:40,412 --> 00:14:42,172part of the full spectrum of the human 34100:14:42,172 --> 00:14:45,132experience. And when we love, the natural 34200:14:45,212 --> 00:14:48,052opposite of that is can be lost, right? 34300:14:48,052 --> 00:14:50,012And and it's it's a really 34400:14:50,652 --> 00:14:53,572strange and painful part 34500:14:53,572 --> 00:14:56,092of the human experience is to to love 34600:14:56,092 --> 00:14:58,332some point, someone or so much something 34700:14:58,332 --> 00:15:01,132so much that when they leave 34800:15:01,132 --> 00:15:03,692this physical form that it it 34900:15:03,692 --> 00:15:05,772changes everything for us. 35000:15:06,492 --> 00:15:09,372And that 35100:15:09,372 --> 00:15:11,932external stressor becomes an internal 35200:15:11,932 --> 00:15:14,572challenge. And when our 35300:15:14,572 --> 00:15:16,812patterns, our protective patterns of 35400:15:16,812 --> 00:15:19,652handling stress tend towards the, you 35500:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,972know, this sort of hypervigilant anxiety 35600:15:21,972 --> 00:15:23,692and worry and what can I do to make this 35700:15:23,692 --> 00:15:25,692easy, you know, and that that spiral or 35800:15:26,172 --> 00:15:29,092if it's the opposite and you tend to kind 35900:15:29,092 --> 00:15:31,212of move into that heaviness of sadness, 36000:15:31,212 --> 00:15:33,732it's. It's really important, especially 36100:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,292when there is something that it is so 36200:15:35,292 --> 00:15:38,132painfully sad to lose a loved 36300:15:38,132 --> 00:15:40,932one or opportunity or life or 36400:15:40,932 --> 00:15:43,612whatever it is, you know, that has placed 36500:15:43,612 --> 00:15:46,172you in this situation. 36600:15:46,492 --> 00:15:48,573And and so, you know, it's 36700:15:50,853 --> 00:15:53,533at least when it comes to the case 36800:15:53,573 --> 00:15:56,333of, you know, being in this sort of limbo 36900:15:56,333 --> 00:15:58,813period before losing someone, it's 37000:15:59,053 --> 00:16:00,973it's really giving us that perspective 37100:16:01,013 --> 00:16:03,453of. I want to really cherish and enjoy 37200:16:03,533 --> 00:16:05,693every moment, right?And as hard as that 37300:16:05,693 --> 00:16:08,413is and and giving clarity around what 37400:16:08,493 --> 00:16:11,413really, really matters. And that is to 37500:16:11,933 --> 00:16:13,693be fully present, to be expressed in your 37600:16:13,693 --> 00:16:15,893love, to honor yourself, to to recognize 37700:16:15,893 --> 00:16:18,653that all of you is welcome here and to 37800:16:19,693 --> 00:16:21,853really see this as an 37900:16:21,853 --> 00:16:23,933opportunity to 38000:16:26,013 --> 00:16:28,733express your love when you still have the 38100:16:28,733 --> 00:16:31,373time and space to and. The 38200:16:31,373 --> 00:16:33,533beautiful thing is, you know, energy is 38300:16:33,533 --> 00:16:35,213neither created nor destroyed. And you 38400:16:35,213 --> 00:16:37,053know, it's it's always sort of this 38500:16:37,053 --> 00:16:39,373bittersweet thing of, you know, when 38600:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,413someone passes on people say, oh, they're 38700:16:41,413 --> 00:16:44,253always with you and and it's it 38800:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,853brings some peace. I feel like for me 38900:16:45,853 --> 00:16:48,253that usually comes later like that, you 39000:16:48,253 --> 00:16:50,053know, the initial grieving period is so 39100:16:50,053 --> 00:16:52,613intense that that it 39200:16:52,613 --> 00:16:55,453doesn't necessarily fill the gap 39300:16:55,613 --> 00:16:58,013right away. You know what I mean?And so 39400:16:59,133 --> 00:17:01,853yeah, I just, I wanted to. Just be real 39500:17:01,853 --> 00:17:04,094with you and and let you know that 39600:17:04,734 --> 00:17:07,054this is where I'm at and and 39700:17:08,334 --> 00:17:10,734and honor you as well. Because the 39800:17:10,734 --> 00:17:13,374reality is, is that life presents 39900:17:13,374 --> 00:17:16,014us with these challenges and 40000:17:16,614 --> 00:17:18,974when we are willing to 40100:17:20,494 --> 00:17:22,294and with something like this, with a 40200:17:22,294 --> 00:17:25,134loss, seeing it 40300:17:25,134 --> 00:17:28,094as an opportunity or a gift. 40400:17:28,654 --> 00:17:31,214Can feel a little bit more 40500:17:31,214 --> 00:17:33,774challenging and a little bit further 40600:17:33,934 --> 00:17:36,814away from, yeah, OK, I can see that here. 40700:17:37,774 --> 00:17:39,294But The thing is, is that 40800:17:40,974 --> 00:17:42,814their presence is a gift in your life 40900:17:43,134 --> 00:17:45,294that whatever it is, whether it's a thing 41000:17:45,294 --> 00:17:47,934or a person or or reality 41100:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,854shift and there's so much to 41200:17:50,854 --> 00:17:52,894love and so much to appreciate and that's 41300:17:52,894 --> 00:17:55,054a gift, right?And so we want to really 41400:17:55,054 --> 00:17:57,254honor that. And what you're feeling is a 41500:17:57,254 --> 00:17:58,974reflection of the love that you had for 41600:17:58,974 --> 00:18:01,374them. And so then, you know, what is the 41700:18:01,374 --> 00:18:04,054opportunity here?The 41800:18:04,094 --> 00:18:05,494opportunity is to 41900:18:07,054 --> 00:18:09,694really set ourselves up 42000:18:09,854 --> 00:18:12,014and be as tender as possible in the 42100:18:12,014 --> 00:18:14,774process and to use 42200:18:14,814 --> 00:18:17,134these tools, right?One of which 42300:18:17,214 --> 00:18:19,615is power causes. 42400:18:20,095 --> 00:18:22,895So what I want to share with you now. 42500:18:23,615 --> 00:18:26,175Is a practice that will help you 42600:18:26,175 --> 00:18:28,695to give space to yourself if you are 42700:18:28,695 --> 00:18:31,495experiencing anticipatory grief and to 42800:18:31,495 --> 00:18:34,335hold yourself in the moment so 42900:18:34,335 --> 00:18:37,055that you can receive some love. 43000:18:37,055 --> 00:18:39,455Because I know in the tenderness of your 43100:18:39,455 --> 00:18:42,095heart and in this moment, that's what we 43200:18:42,095 --> 00:18:44,495need. We we really need to be 43300:18:44,575 --> 00:18:46,575witnessed and seen and that's what this 43400:18:46,575 --> 00:18:48,895is going to do. And it's so simple 43500:18:50,335 --> 00:18:53,215and so if you're. Watching this 43600:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,815video on YouTube, you can watch. Keep 43700:18:55,815 --> 00:18:57,655your eyes open. If you're listening to 43800:18:57,655 --> 00:19:00,495the audio of this podcast, then you 43900:19:00,495 --> 00:19:02,175know, as long as it's safe, you're going 44000:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,975to close your eyes. But 44100:19:05,695 --> 00:19:07,215you know, if you're driving, just listen 44200:19:07,215 --> 00:19:08,735and store this away for later. Just use 44300:19:08,735 --> 00:19:11,535one hand. So what I want you to do is 44400:19:12,175 --> 00:19:15,095I want you to close your eyes for a 44500:19:15,095 --> 00:19:17,295moment and take a big deep breath. 44600:19:19,495 --> 00:19:20,695Breathe it out through your mouth with a 44700:19:20,695 --> 00:19:21,615little bit of sound. 44800:19:26,255 --> 00:19:28,095So as we breathe in through our nose, 44900:19:28,095 --> 00:19:30,335we're going to mentally say the word soft 45000:19:31,055 --> 00:19:33,215and we breathe out. Mentally say the word 45100:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,776belly. Ready. Try inhale 45200:19:35,776 --> 00:19:38,576soft. Exhale 45300:19:38,576 --> 00:19:41,136belly. And what are you going to do when 45400:19:41,136 --> 00:19:43,896you do that?You're so smart. Soften the 45500:19:43,896 --> 00:19:45,776belly and breathe into it. Ready. Inhale 45600:19:45,776 --> 00:19:48,696soft. Exhale, 45700:19:48,696 --> 00:19:49,136belly. 45800:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,716And I want you to really move into this 45900:19:58,716 --> 00:20:01,436power pause, knowing that you can leave 46000:20:01,436 --> 00:20:03,356at any time. And of course, seek the 46100:20:03,356 --> 00:20:05,036support if you feel like you need more 46200:20:05,036 --> 00:20:06,436support, speaking with a counselor, 46300:20:06,436 --> 00:20:07,756professionally trained professional 46400:20:08,956 --> 00:20:10,876therapist, et cetera, et cetera. Know 46500:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,036that they are available for you too. So 46600:20:13,036 --> 00:20:15,596let's take an inhale, and I want you to 46700:20:15,596 --> 00:20:18,236just bring your attention to your body 46800:20:18,556 --> 00:20:20,036and place your hands on your heart. 46900:20:20,816 --> 00:20:22,776Classically, where we tend to experience 47000:20:22,776 --> 00:20:25,056emotions, whether they are uplifting and 47100:20:25,056 --> 00:20:27,616expansive emotions or more challenging 47200:20:27,616 --> 00:20:29,856and contractive or heavier ones like 47300:20:29,936 --> 00:20:32,176this, bring your hands on your chest 47400:20:32,856 --> 00:20:35,696and breathe. Keep the mantra going 47500:20:35,696 --> 00:20:36,336soft 47600:20:38,256 --> 00:20:40,096belly. Snug your arms in a little bit 47700:20:40,096 --> 00:20:41,536closer, and that might mean bringing your 47800:20:41,536 --> 00:20:43,296hands into a, you know, a slightly more 47900:20:43,296 --> 00:20:45,216overlap position, but hold your body 48000:20:45,216 --> 00:20:45,776closer. 48100:20:49,456 --> 00:20:51,337And if it's safe for you to do so, just 48200:20:51,337 --> 00:20:54,257gently sway, gently sway 48300:20:54,257 --> 00:20:56,257yourself forward and back. Again, if 48400:20:56,257 --> 00:20:58,017you're driving, you know, just do what 48500:20:58,017 --> 00:21:00,017you can or just listen. If you're fully 48600:21:00,017 --> 00:21:01,697in the experience, close your eyes and 48700:21:01,697 --> 00:21:04,177gently sway yourself forward and back. 48800:21:06,977 --> 00:21:08,097And if it's a thing that you're 48900:21:08,097 --> 00:21:10,417comfortable with, imagine that you are 49000:21:10,737 --> 00:21:13,697maybe in a beautiful, calm 49100:21:13,857 --> 00:21:16,297ocean, or maybe you prefer a 49200:21:16,297 --> 00:21:18,657hammock. And you're just gently getting 49300:21:18,657 --> 00:21:21,577rocked back and forth, held 49400:21:21,577 --> 00:21:23,937in place by this beautiful 49500:21:23,937 --> 00:21:26,577envelopment of this warm, 49600:21:27,217 --> 00:21:29,057deep, pure, 49700:21:29,457 --> 00:21:31,617loving, energetic presence 49800:21:32,017 --> 00:21:34,337all the way around your body and your 49900:21:34,337 --> 00:21:37,097being. Feel yourself getting held 50000:21:37,097 --> 00:21:37,617by it. 50100:21:40,337 --> 00:21:42,577Breathe. If that feels like a little bit 50200:21:42,577 --> 00:21:44,697out there for you, no worries. Just hold 50300:21:44,697 --> 00:21:47,377the the pose, rock back and forward, 50400:21:47,377 --> 00:21:50,257hands on your body, gently breathing in 50500:21:50,257 --> 00:21:50,657and out, 50600:21:55,297 --> 00:21:58,017and then gradually come to a 50700:21:58,017 --> 00:21:58,417stop 50800:22:01,617 --> 00:22:02,257and stay. 50900:22:06,338 --> 00:22:07,298Take another breath 51000:22:09,338 --> 00:22:10,498and notice how you feel. 51100:22:13,218 --> 00:22:15,858So this power pause is part 51200:22:16,058 --> 00:22:18,498of the full episode 51300:22:19,098 --> 00:22:21,938of Navigating Anticipatory Grief on the 51400:22:21,938 --> 00:22:24,138podcast, which is the Movement, Mind and 51500:22:24,138 --> 00:22:26,698Meaning podcast, or if you 51600:22:26,978 --> 00:22:29,898happen to be. Listening to this and 51700:22:29,898 --> 00:22:31,938want to watch the video, it's over on 51800:22:31,938 --> 00:22:34,098YouTube. OK, so wherever you're at, 51900:22:34,098 --> 00:22:35,978there's more for you, right?And if you 52000:22:35,978 --> 00:22:37,418need to see the visual, that's what the 52100:22:37,418 --> 00:22:40,138YouTube clip of the power pause is for. 52200:22:40,138 --> 00:22:41,378And if you're catching just the power 52300:22:41,378 --> 00:22:43,418pause, make sure to listen or watch the 52400:22:43,418 --> 00:22:45,218whole episode because there's a lot more 52500:22:45,218 --> 00:22:47,778in there for you. So 52600:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,778yeah, I think that's all I have for 52700:22:53,778 --> 00:22:56,618today. I. 52800:22:56,898 --> 00:22:59,818Receive your love and I send it back to 52900:22:59,938 --> 00:23:02,658you and just honor you and hold you and 53000:23:03,298 --> 00:23:04,818and you know whether you're in this 53100:23:04,818 --> 00:23:06,498reality right here, right now, 53200:23:07,938 --> 00:23:10,658there isn't an inevitable, well, that was 53300:23:10,658 --> 00:23:12,738hard to say. Inevitably, 53400:23:13,618 --> 00:23:15,778there will be a moment when someone that 53500:23:15,778 --> 00:23:17,898you love or maybe you 53600:23:19,338 --> 00:23:21,939deal with this. And so please feel free 53700:23:21,939 --> 00:23:23,939to share this episode with them or just 53800:23:23,939 --> 00:23:25,539hold this knowledge in your heart that 53900:23:25,539 --> 00:23:27,339this is a very real experience 54000:23:28,219 --> 00:23:30,419and it is 54100:23:31,619 --> 00:23:32,499a beautiful 54200:23:35,219 --> 00:23:38,179evidence and reflection of the love 54300:23:38,179 --> 00:23:40,419and appreciation that you felt for 54400:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,299whatever it is. Maybe it's a pet, maybe 54500:23:42,299 --> 00:23:44,979it's a parent, maybe it's, you know, a 54600:23:44,979 --> 00:23:47,139partner, I don't know, something else, 54700:23:47,459 --> 00:23:50,379health, you know, and 54800:23:50,379 --> 00:23:51,939so. I really, 54900:23:54,339 --> 00:23:56,379I'm sending you a lot of love and 55000:23:58,019 --> 00:23:59,979I really just honor yourself. And so the 55100:23:59,979 --> 00:24:02,019other thing is, is that, you know, the 55200:24:02,019 --> 00:24:04,339physicality of of grief and sadness is 55300:24:04,339 --> 00:24:06,499just to really to nurture yourself. You 55400:24:06,499 --> 00:24:08,059know, I just stood before I got on here 55500:24:08,059 --> 00:24:09,379and I was like, I was hungry, I was 55600:24:09,379 --> 00:24:11,259hungry and I stood in front of the fridge 55700:24:11,259 --> 00:24:13,619and I got over there and I I just stared 55800:24:13,619 --> 00:24:16,259at it, you know 55900:24:17,219 --> 00:24:18,179So just know that. 56000:24:22,659 --> 00:24:25,539That whatever it 56100:24:25,539 --> 00:24:27,219is, is temporary. 56200:24:28,339 --> 00:24:30,899And that's both beautiful and 56300:24:30,899 --> 00:24:32,979challenging at the same time. And the 56400:24:32,979 --> 00:24:35,539depth of what you're experiencing will 56500:24:35,619 --> 00:24:38,580gradually soften. And 56600:24:39,140 --> 00:24:41,260again, beautiful and challenging at the 56700:24:41,260 --> 00:24:42,540same time. It's like we don't want to 56800:24:42,540 --> 00:24:43,860lose them. I don't want this to ever get 56900:24:43,860 --> 00:24:46,500any easier, but I do at the same time. So 57000:24:47,100 --> 00:24:49,260it's strange. So I guess I'll just stand 57100:24:49,260 --> 00:24:51,260there and just, you know. Just put a pin 57200:24:51,260 --> 00:24:52,740in that that this is a strange part of 57300:24:52,740 --> 00:24:54,060our human experience, but it's a 57400:24:54,060 --> 00:24:56,820vulnerability that you know 57500:24:57,380 --> 00:24:59,780that we want to be mindful of and 57600:24:59,780 --> 00:25:02,020compassionate about so that 57700:25:02,980 --> 00:25:05,620and if you notice that you are moving 57800:25:05,700 --> 00:25:08,020further into other 57900:25:08,020 --> 00:25:10,580challenges that you have from the mental 58000:25:10,580 --> 00:25:13,460health perspective, then really honoring 58100:25:13,460 --> 00:25:16,140that and and seeking support, 58200:25:16,580 --> 00:25:18,100right, seeking support whether that's 58300:25:18,100 --> 00:25:20,740through. Counseling, therapy, movement 58400:25:20,740 --> 00:25:23,220modalities, you know, medication, 58500:25:24,820 --> 00:25:26,980talking to, you know, someone you love, 58600:25:26,980 --> 00:25:28,340etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. You know 58700:25:28,340 --> 00:25:29,700the, you know the avenues. But I'm just 58800:25:29,700 --> 00:25:31,860putting that out there because sometimes 58900:25:32,180 --> 00:25:33,860as much as this is really powerful to 59000:25:33,860 --> 00:25:35,420have these tools and to hold yourself in 59100:25:35,420 --> 00:25:37,140a rock and do those, you know, more 59200:25:37,860 --> 00:25:39,580nervous system regulation tools that we 59300:25:39,580 --> 00:25:42,180were doing there in the power pause, it's 59400:25:42,180 --> 00:25:44,580also time for you to receive love. 59500:25:45,060 --> 00:25:47,420And support and to be held as well. And 59600:25:47,420 --> 00:25:49,620that's what the power pause did. But can 59700:25:49,620 --> 00:25:51,740you do it in a way that you know you 59800:25:51,740 --> 00:25:54,341align with that you you feel is what you 59900:25:54,341 --> 00:25:57,261need. But reach out, you 60000:25:57,261 --> 00:25:59,421know, reach out and and take care of 60100:25:59,421 --> 00:26:01,221yourself because it's never easy to lose 60200:26:01,221 --> 00:26:03,741something or someone. And so sending you 60300:26:03,741 --> 00:26:06,661a lot of love and Bailey 60400:26:06,661 --> 00:26:08,421is at his other family's right now, but 60500:26:08,501 --> 00:26:09,861I'm going to go pick him up in a little 60600:26:09,861 --> 00:26:10,661bit and we're going to, 60700:26:14,381 --> 00:26:16,021yeah. We're going to have some time 60800:26:16,021 --> 00:26:17,861together. So 60900:26:19,221 --> 00:26:21,301again, it's, yeah, I'm going to stop. I 61000:26:21,301 --> 00:26:23,221love you. Have a good rest of your day. 61100:26:23,381 --> 00:26:25,141Take good care of yourself. And before I 61200:26:25,141 --> 00:26:28,061go, squeeze your furries. Love your loved 61300:26:28,061 --> 00:26:30,181ones. Appreciate this day. 61400:26:31,061 --> 00:26:34,021Go. Do it. Live. Time is now. 61500:26:34,941 --> 00:26:37,541OK. I love you. Bye. 61600:26:39,221 --> 00:26:41,701Thank you so much for listening. I hope 61700:26:41,701 --> 00:26:43,581you really enjoyed this episode and got a 61800:26:43,581 --> 00:26:46,501lot out of it. Please let me know 61900:26:46,541 --> 00:26:48,261what landed for you by taking a 62000:26:48,261 --> 00:26:50,381screenshot and sharing your takeaways on 62100:26:50,381 --> 00:26:52,701your Instagram stories. Make sure to tag 62200:26:52,701 --> 00:26:55,541me at I am Megan Nolan for a 62300:26:55,541 --> 00:26:58,421shout out and future episodes. And 62400:26:58,821 --> 00:27:01,221don't forget to grab all the goodies that 62500:27:01,221 --> 00:27:03,301we mentioned during the episode because 62600:27:03,301 --> 00:27:05,661you're gonna love them. So all the links 62700:27:05,661 --> 00:27:08,542are in the show notes. So, until next 62800:27:08,542 --> 00:27:11,142time, cheers to you living on 62900:27:11,142 --> 00:27:12,262purpose every day.