Anxious Attachment & Neurodivergence: Are they mad at me or am I spiraling again?

Having an anxious attachment isn’t about being “needy” or insecure. It’s about what happens when a nervous system learns that connection isn’t always predictable or safe.For many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, that lesson was reinforced for decades without ever being named. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., unpacks anxious attachment as it shows up in late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults.She explores why anxious attachment isn’t a personality flaw, but a nervous system pattern shaped by inconsistency, masking, and years of subtle rejection. You’ll hear how ADHD pattern recognition, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), perfectionism, and people-pleasing all feed the cycle and why masking makes anxious attachment feel so much more intense.Most importantly, this episode offers practical, neurodivergent-affirming tools to interrupt the spiral: pausing before panic-texting, grounding through the senses, naming what your nervous system is doing, and learning to ask for space without apologizing for having needs.If you’ve ever thought, “Are they mad at me… or am I spiraling again?” this conversation will help you make sense of why your brain goes there, and how to meet yourself with more safety, clarity, and self-trust.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.