Neurodivergent Strategies for Late-Diagnosed Adults: The Divergent Paths Podcast

You already know masking changes what other people see. What gets talked about far less is what it does on the inside. When you spend years suppressing emotion to keep a smooth, friction-free version of yourself running, you slowly lose access to the emotional data your brain uses to file memories away. And for a lot of neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD, emotion is exactly how memory gets encoded in the first place. In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. walks through a concept she calls delayed encoding. The event happened, the memory happened, but the feelings attached to it were locked out at the time. Unmasking can hand them back to you, sometimes weeks later, sometimes decades. She uses a memory of her own to show how a moment you thought you understood can return with completely new emotional information once you can finally feel it. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Calm water isn't the same thing as safe water. It just feels that way when you've spent years wanting to keep things smooth.Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. breaks down the concept of productive friction: the discomfort that shows up whenever you're actually growing, versus the discomfort that shows up when you're staying small to avoid rocking the boat. Drawing on her own swimming practice, she unpacks why so many late-diagnosed and late-identified neurodivergent adults have learned to mistake stillness for safety, and what it costs you when you do.If you've been feeling the friction in your own late-diagnosed or late-identified journey, that's not a sign something's wrong. It might be a sign something's finally moving.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Ever laughed off the moment you gave yourself away? Maybe it was a joke that landed wrong, or eye contact that came a beat too late. Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. unpacks a kind of exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much sleep you got: instead, it's from the constant tension of monitoring your own performance while reading everyone else's reactions in real time. In this episode, you'll learn: What people-pleasing actually feels like from the inside for a lot of late-diagnosed adults How people-pleasing and masking are linked, with people-pleasing acting as the mechanism through which a masked version of yourself earns approval What changes in your relationships when you stop crafting every sentence for maximum smoothness and start just saying the thing If you've spent years dismissing this tension as anxiety or "just how you are," this episode offers a different lens, and a path toward relationships that don't drain you to maintain. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphd Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

There's a moment after diagnosis where you think the hard part is over. You have the language now, the explanation, the "why." Then you go back to your same job, same relationships, same life, and realize none of it changed just because you understand it better.In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. and Russ Catanach dig into that specific, disorienting stretch: the gap between knowing you're neurodivergent and actually living like it. They talk through why this phase can feel so much harder than understanding the diagnosis itself, what masking feels like once you're aware you're doing it, and why intentional unmasking (even though it's exhausting) gives you agency that burnout never will.If you're in that in-between space right now, not who you were before your diagnosis but not sure who you're becoming either, this episode will make you feel a lot less alone in it. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Most neurodivergent coaching will sell you a three-month transformation and a tidy finish line. For late diagnosed adults doing genuine unmasking work, that promise can do real harm. This episode is about why your path is divergent by design, and why curiosity about yourself matters more than any checklist.Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. describes the people she loves working with: late diagnosed, late identified, late realized neurodivergent adults who are approaching their neurodivergence with genuine curiosity, not just collecting a label. These are people who are done outsourcing their self-concept to their work, their hobbies, or relationships that never really supported them. She also gets honest about why her coaching looks nothing like the tidy three-month transformation arc most of the industry sells, and why that framing can actively harm someone doing real unmasking work.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

You started doing the work. You've begun understanding how your brain actually works, and you began peeling back the mask you built to survive. So why is everything suddenly harder with the people closest to you?Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. shares in this episode the part nobody warns you about: what happens to your relationships after you start unmasking. When you cancel plans without guilt, hold firmer boundaries, and stop spending your executive function smoothing every sharp edge, people notice. Some read it as you becoming mean or distant. That tension isn't proof your relationships are broken. It usually means they need renegotiation.Unmasking isn't about becoming someone new. It's about becoming visible, including to yourself, and not everyone will be ready for that. You're not the villain here. You might just be the antagonist to someone else's comfort, and you're allowed to be okay with that.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

It is a terrifying thing to stand in a spotlight you never agreed to walk into. When you're a late-diagnosed neurodivergent adult you might have heard dropping the mask brings instant freedom, but nobody warns you about the deep ache of finally being seen for exactly who you are. When someone looks past your carefully constructed, people-pleasing performance and embraces your messy, genuine self, your nervous system might actually scream danger instead of feeling relief.In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. explores the emotional reality of the "visibility gap"—the awkward, liminal space between who you used to be and who you are becoming. For late-diagnosed adults, their mask wasn't just a habit; it was a protective system built brick by brick. This episode unpacks why unmasking is a relational event, why being misread hurts so much more once you are trying to be authentic, and how your nervous system gradually calibrates to accept true belonging and secure, safe connections.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

You recognize the feeling the moment it starts. One conversation, one interaction, and suddenly this person is everywhere in your brain, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and approximately 47 times in between. You're not just interested. You're consumed. And if you're neurodivergent, there's a reason it hits that hard.In this episode, Dr. Regina and Russ break down limerence (also called romantic hyperfixation), why ADHD and autistic brains are especially susceptible to it, and how your attachment style either fuels the fire or keeps the loop going indefinitely. If you've ever turned a person into a puzzle you couldn't stop trying to solve, this one's for you.If you've ever confused intensity for intimacy, or chased the high of pursuit without realizing why, this episode gives you the language and the framework to finally understand what was happening and what to do about it.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Have you ever spent hours decoding a single text message, or convinced yourself that anticipating everyone else's needs was how to be a "good friend"? If you are late-identified neurodivergent, what you’ve always praised as a thoughtful personality trait might actually be a highly activated nervous system response.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. breaks down the intersection of anxious attachment, codependency, and masking. She explores how growing up with unpredictable connections teaches your nervous system to stay hyper-vigilant, leading to a habit of reading the room at the expense of your own boundaries. You'll discover why self-abandonment gets socially rewarded as being "low maintenance" and how to start tracking your internal signals instead of everyone else’s emotional state.It’s time to stop prioritizing everyone else's comfort and start learning how to check back in on yourself.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Do you know what you actually want? Not what makes everyone else comfortable, not what keeps the peace, but what you want? For many late-diagnosed and late-identifying neurodivergent adults, that question is genuinely hard to answer. It's often the result of enmeshment.In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. breaks down why enmeshment is so common among neurodivergent people, how a lifetime of masking sets the stage for boundaryless relationships, and what it actually looks like to start finding your edges.This episode is for you if you've ever left a conversation feeling drained in a way that goes beyond introversion, if you've caught yourself riding someone else's emotional wave without knowing how you climbed aboard, or if you're in the middle of figuring out who you actually are post-diagnosis.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphdBook a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

If you've ever wondered why you always know when someone else is upset but can't tell if you're hungry, this one is for you.Most late-diagnosed neurodivergent people aren't exhausted from their schedule. They're exhausted from the constant low-level work of monitoring everyone else's emotional states. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina Ph.D. introduces the concept of the emotional dashboard and breaks down exactly why so many ADHD and autistic adults learned to read other people's feelings instead of their own.This episode unpacks the layered reasons behind this pattern, including interoception differences in ADHD and autistic brains, monitoring others' emotional states as a strategy for managing rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), the connection between masking and people-pleasing, and how codependency in neurodivergent people is adaptive, not a character flaw.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

If you've spent your whole life being told you're so good at reading the room, this episode might reframe everything.Codependency is one of those words that gets thrown around casually, usually as a polite way of calling someone too needy. But for late-diagnosed and late-identified neurodivergent adults, the pattern looks entirely different, and it doesn't come from neediness. It comes from survival.In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. and co-host Russ, break down what codependency actually is, where it came from as a clinical framework, and why neurodivergent people, particularly those who spent years masking without knowing it, are disproportionately likely to develop these patterns. When reading the room is how you stayed safe, outsourcing your sense of self to the people around you isn't a character flaw. It's an adaptive strategy. One that works, until it doesn't.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

What if the research you spent years obsessing over was actually about your late diagnosis the whole time?In this episode, Dr. Regina Ph.D. traces an unexpected connection between her dissertation research on identity formation in digital role-playing games and her own late diagnosis experience. The question she thought she was asking turned out to be far more personal than she realized, and the answer says something important about why so many late-diagnosed adults struggle to know who they actually are.She unpacks how masking and people pleasing, though they look different on the surface, function as the same underlying system. And why that system, however logical it was, came with a cost most of us don't fully see until something forces us to look.If you've ever wondered how much of the self you built was really yours, this one is going to hit.This is the first episode in a new series exploring Neurodivergent Codependency, where those patterns come from, how they show up in work and relationships, and what it actually looks like to start building an identity that belongs to you.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Make it Make Sense Call with ReginaFollow Regina on InstagramAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) gets talked about a lot in neurodivergent spaces, but there's a layer to it that most people miss: sometimes the pain isn't about rejection at all.In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. shares a personal story about sending a bid for connection and the moment everything went sideways, not because the response was unkind, but because it didn't match the emotional script she had already written in her head. That gap between anticipated response and actual response, it turns out, is its own distinct trigger for RSD.If you've ever felt a wave of hurt when someone's reaction didn't land the way you expected, even when nothing actually went wrong, this episode is for you.You'll take away:A new framework for understanding RSD triggers that go beyond perceived criticismWhy neurodivergent people sometimes "pre-feel" emotional responses, and what that revealsHow to separate emotional impact from intention without assigning blameA more compassionate lens on the part of you that keeps writing the scriptsSign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

If you've started unmasking and suddenly feel like you can't do things you used to handle effortlessly, you're not imagining things. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina Ph.D. breaks down skill regression, a disorienting but normal phase of the unmasking journey that many late-identified neurodivergent adults experience.Regina explains how so many of us built our skills, routines, and even our sense of identity around a masked, performative self, and why removing that mask can feel like losing abilities overnight. She covers how social skills and reading the room were often fueled by hypervigilance and fear, and why glitches in those skills are actually a sign of progress.This episode reframes skill regression not as a setback, but as a data-collection process, a chance to discover what you are truly capable of as your authentic self. If you've been late diagnosed with ADHD, autism, or another form of neurodivergence, this episode will help you understand the awkward, in-between phase of unmasking with more compassion and context.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

You held it together all day: smiled at your coworkers, made small talk, kept the mask firmly in place. So why do you walk through your front door and completely fall apart? And why does the guilt that follows make everything worse?In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina, PhD, sits down with Russ to unpack one of the most misunderstood experiences for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults: unmasking at home. If you've ever snapped at the people you love most and immediately hated yourself for it, this episode is for you.What you'll learn:Why masking at work depletes your executive functioning and what that actually means when you walk through the front doorThe difference between the "unmasked you" and the dysregulated you (and why your family isn't actually seeing the real you either)How compounding shame and guilt make the next day even harderWhy your kids acting out at home is actually a sign of secure attachment not bad parentingHow to build trust and safety at home that allows everyone to regulate more effectivelyWhether you're ADHD, autistic, or newly diagnosed, Dr. Regina offers practical insight into breaking the exhaustion-snap-guilt cycle and building deeper, more authentic connections with the people you love.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

A late diagnosis is supposed to bring answers. And it does. But it also brings something no one prepares you for.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina Ph.D. sits with the grief that quietly arrives after a late ADHD or autism diagnosis. The mourning for a past you couldn't fully understand. The losses you didn't know you were carrying. And why feeling this doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means you're paying attention.This episode talks about:Why relief and grief aren't opposites — they arrive togetherThe way a diagnosis reaches back and reframes your entire life historyThe specific losses that surface when you finally see yourself clearlyWhy this grief isn't linear and keeps returning in wavesHow to bring self-compassion to the drawing board when you're rebuilding your identityThis episode is especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who've ever felt like grief had no place in a story that was supposed to have a happy ending.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Getting an ADHD diagnosis is supposed to make everything clearer. And in some ways, it does. It gives you language, validation, and a framework for understanding yourself.But what no one talks about is what comes next.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina Ph.D. and Russ unpack the quiet, often uncomfortable tension that shows up after a late ADHD or autism diagnosis. The space between who you used to be and who you’re becoming. The pull back toward old patterns that kept you safe, even when they cost you your sense of self.We talk about:Why diagnosis brings clarity, but not instant changeThe internal conflict between familiar behaviors and authentic choicesHow masking, people-pleasing, and overfunctioning impact relationshipsWhy some relationships deepen and others fall apartThe grief, guilt, and growth that come with unmaskingThis episode is especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults navigating identity shifts, boundary-setting, and the reality that becoming yourself can disrupt the life you built while performing.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

What if the hardest part of your ADHD diagnosis wasn’t getting the answer… but learning how to trust yourself again?In this episode, Dr. Regina, Ph.D. explores what it means to rebuild self-trust after a late ADHD or autism diagnosis. Because when everything you thought you knew about yourself gets thrown into question—your habits, your reactions, your relationships—it’s not just clarity you gain. It’s uncertainty.And underneath that uncertainty is a question many neurodivergent adults quietly carry: Can I actually trust myself?This episode unpacks how years of masking, people-pleasing, and being told you’re “too much” or “not enough” can erode your internal sense of trust and why so many late-diagnosed folks end up outsourcing their reality to other people.You’ll learn:Why self-trust often decreases right after a diagnosis (and why that’s normal)How masking and perfectionism disconnect you from your internal signalsWhat it looks like to start trusting your emotions as data (not disqualifications)Simple, practical ways to rebuild self-trust, one small, honest moment at a timeRegina also shares personal stories—from defiance-fueled achievements to people-pleasing patterns—and how unmasking reshaped her relationship with herself.Because self-trust isn’t about always being right. It’s about staying on your own side.If you’re a late-diagnosed neurodivergent adult trying to reconnect with your instincts, your voice, and your truth… this episode is your starting point.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after they receive their late diagnoses.

What does secure attachment actually look like in real life?For many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, the idea of a “secure relationship” can feel almost mythical. If you grew up masking, overthinking every interaction, or bracing for rejection, emotional safety may not have been something your nervous system learned early on.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina, Ph.D. and Russ explore what secure attachment really means and why it’s not about having perfect communication or conflict-free relationships. Instead, secure attachment is something you can build over time as your nervous system learns that connection can survive misunderstandings, difficult conversations, and moments when things go a little wrong.Dr. Regina walks through five practical steps that help move relationships toward greater emotional safety:• Recognizing your attachment patterns • Learning to regulate your nervous system before reacting • Naming your needs without apology • Practicing repair after conflict or misunderstanding • Choosing relationships that support security and mutual respectIf you’ve ever wondered whether secure attachment is possible for you—or how to move toward relationships that feel calmer, safer, and more supportive—this episode offers a compassionate roadmap.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields need when they receive their late diagnoses.

Many people think perfectionism is about ambition or high standards. But for people with anxious attachment, perfectionism can be something else entirely: a strategy for protecting connection.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., explores the powerful link between anxious attachment and perfectionism, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults. When your nervous system is constantly scanning for signs of disconnection, getting everything “right” can start to feel like the safest way to keep relationships stable.Dr. Regina shares personal stories about how anxious attachment can show up as over-performing, self-monitoring, and trying to prevent conflict before it happens. She also explores how ADHD, rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD), and years of masking can intensify this pattern.If you’ve ever felt pressure to manage everyone else’s emotions, apologize first, or get things exactly right in order to feel secure in a relationship, this conversation will help you understand why.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields need when they receive their late diagnoses.

Do you crave connection but panic when you feel vulnerable?In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., and Russ unpack fearful avoidant attachment (also called disorganized attachment) through the lens of late-diagnosed neurodivergence. If your inner world feels like a constant push-pull between “Don’t leave me” and “Don’t get too close,” this conversation will feel familiar.Fearful avoidant attachment combines the fear of abandonment seen in anxious attachment with the fear of intimacy common in avoidant attachment. For neurodivergent adults, especially those diagnosed later in life, this pattern can intensify due to chronic misattunement, masking, rejection sensitivity, and years of being corrected instead of understood.In this episode, we explore:How fearful avoidant attachment shows up in ADHD and autistic adultsWhy hypervigilance, hyperindependence, and masking amplify attachment anxietyThe connection between rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and attachment patternsWhy stability can feel suspicious when inconsistency was your normHow impulsivity and nervous system activation drive relationship decisionsWhat it actually looks like to move toward secure attachmentDr. Regina shares a vulnerable, real-life example of how past relational trauma can hijack present-day decisions and how repair and regulation create real safety.If you’re a neurodivergent adult trying to untangle relationship patterns in real time, this episode offers both clarity and compassion. Your attachment style isn’t a character flaw. It’s information. And your nervous system can learn new patterns of safety.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields need when they receive their late diagnoses.

Many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults carry a quiet, persistent fear: What if I’m too much? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina PhD explores why that fear shows up so strongly for folks with ADHD in their relationships. Emotional intensity, rejection sensitivity, and years of masking can create a painful pattern of overthinking, apologizing, and shrinking after moments of intense expression. Instead of rehashing social scripts, this episode zooms out to examine the nervous system roots of the “too much” story and why it’s often less about personality and more about protection. You’ll learn: How rejection sensitivity amplifies everyday social ambiguity Why masking trains you to self-edit in real time The link between attachment anxiety and post-conversation shame Practical ways to regulate before you repair If you’ve ever wished you could take up less space, this episode offers a different way to understand what’s happening and how to stay true to yourself without shrinking. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Book a Clarity Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields need when they receive their late diagnoses.

Have you ever sent someone a meme, a song, or a random TikTok… and then immediately spiraled when they didn’t respond?If you’re neurodivergent, those tiny “this made me think of you” moments aren’t random. They’re emotional bids for connection.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores why ADHD brains are wired for micro-connections and why something as small as an unread message can activate rejection sensitivity, anxious attachment, or demand avoidance.You’ll learn:Why associative thinking makes memes feel meaningfulHow ADHD object permanence impacts relationshipsThe difference between healthy micro-connection and hidden reassurance-seekingWhat happens when your “pebbling style” doesn’t match someone else’sHow anxious attachment and RSD can escalate tiny moments into big spiralsWe also talk about how entire friendships can grow from small, consistent bids for connection and why this style of relating isn’t childish, clingy, or too much.If sending a meme feels easier than saying “I miss you,” this episode will help you understand what your nervous system is really doing and how to make your bids for connection land in a healthy way.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields need when they receive their late diagnoses.

Ever been in a relationship that feels intense because one of you pulls away and the other feels compelled to move closer? Same, boo, same. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. breaks down the anxious–avoidant cycle through a neurodivergent lens, explaining why this dynamic can feel especially destabilizing for autistic, ADHD, and late-diagnosed adults.You’ll learn why avoidant withdrawal isn’t a lack of care, why anxious pursuit isn’t “too much,” and how sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, masking fatigue, and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) can supercharge this cycle. Instead of blaming communication styles, this episode reframes the anxious–avoidant pattern as a nervous-system mismatch and offers compassionate, practical ways to slow the spiral without forcing closeness or silence.If you’ve ever felt panicked by distance, overwhelmed by pursuit, or stuck in a push-pull dynamic you can’t seem to escape, this episode will help you understand what’s happening beneath the behavior and why neither side is broken or unlovable.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

What if pulling away after connection isn’t so much about emotional unavailability but nervous system protection?In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. unpacks avoidant attachment styles through a neurodivergent lens, exploring why closeness can trigger overwhelm instead of comfort for people with ADHD and autism, especially those who were late diagnosed.You’ll learn how avoidant attachment develops as a survival strategy rooted in independence, how masking and delayed emotional processing intensify the need for space, and why neurodivergent adults often experience a “being seen overload” after moments of vulnerability. We also explore how avoidant and anxious attachment styles can unintentionally lock people into a push-pull cycle that leaves both partners dysregulated and misunderstood.This conversation reframes avoidance not as coldness or detachment, but as a learned nervous-system response and offers practical language for naming the need for space without creating rupture. If you’ve ever been labeled “too distant,” “too rigid,” or felt the urge to disappear after emotional closeness, or love someone who feels this way, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

When you have an anxious attachment style, friendships can feel uniquely destabilizing, especially if you’re neurodivergent. A delayed text, a shift in tone, or a little extra space can send your nervous system into overdrive, even when nothing is actually wrong.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores how anxious attachment shows up in neurodivergent friendships, not just romantic relationships. She breaks down why friendships often feel more ambiguous and triggering, how ADHD hyperfocus can turn one person into a primary regulation anchor, and why that dynamic creates so much pressure for you and for the relationship.You’ll learn why anxious attachment isn’t about being “needy,” but about seeking safety and connection with a nervous system shaped by inconsistency. Regina introduces the Power of the Pause, a practical, compassionate framework for interrupting panic-driven reactions before they turn into spiraling texts, shame, or self-blame.If you’re late-diagnosed ADHD or autistic, struggle with anxious attachment in friendships, or constantly worry that people are pulling away, this conversation will help you choose regulation over reassurance and create space for connection to grow.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Having an anxious attachment isn’t about being “needy” or insecure. It’s about what happens when a nervous system learns that connection isn’t always predictable or safe.For many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, that lesson was reinforced for decades without ever being named. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., unpacks anxious attachment as it shows up in late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults.She explores why anxious attachment isn’t a personality flaw, but a nervous system pattern shaped by inconsistency, masking, and years of subtle rejection. You’ll hear how ADHD pattern recognition, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), perfectionism, and people-pleasing all feed the cycle and why masking makes anxious attachment feel so much more intense.Most importantly, this episode offers practical, neurodivergent-affirming tools to interrupt the spiral: pausing before panic-texting, grounding through the senses, naming what your nervous system is doing, and learning to ask for space without apologizing for having needs.If you’ve ever thought, “Are they mad at me… or am I spiraling again?” this conversation will help you make sense of why your brain goes there, and how to meet yourself with more safety, clarity, and self-trust.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

There’s a lot of pressure to “push through,” be resilient, and just do the hard things especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults. But what happens when pushing past your limits quietly starts to damage your nervous system, your relationships, and your mental health?In this episode of the Divergent Paths Podcast, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, unpacks what overcapacity really looks like and why grit is often the wrong answer. Using a very real story about bringing home a puppy, Regina explores the difference between capability and capacity, how nervous system dysregulation shows up when expectations exceed regulation, and why asking for support is often the turning point.This episode is for late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults who:Feel capable but constantly overwhelmedPush themselves until they hit meltdown or burnoutStruggle with perfectionism, executive dysfunction, and sensory overloadWere never taught how to work with their nervous systemYou’ll learn why capacity isn’t about what you should be able to do, how overcapacity escalates into shame and dysregulation, and how regulation and community support can restore sustainability without giving up on the things you care about.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

The holidays demand more—more socializing, more masking, more expectations, more emotional labor. And for neurodivergent people, that pressure often leads to a very specific kind of burnout that doesn’t magically disappear on January 1st.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores holiday burnout through a neurodivergent lens, unpacking why the season is so depleting and why traditional “rest over the break” or New Year’s resolution culture completely misses the point.Joined by Russ Catanach, Regina breaks down how extended holiday demands dysregulate the nervous system, why burnout is more than exhaustion, and how years of pushing through family obligations, end-of-year work pressure, and social expectations can culminate in shutdown—often right when we’re “supposed” to feel refreshed.This episode reframes post-holiday recovery as a capacity reset rather than a productivity failure. You’ll hear personal stories, reflections on long-term stress, and why intentional rest—especially after the holidays—is not lazy, indulgent, or avoidant, but necessary for nervous system repair.If you’re heading into the new year feeling depleted instead of motivated, this episode offers permission to opt out of resolutions and start listening to what your body actually needs.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Why do so many capable, resilient people struggle to care for themselves?In this solo episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. reframes self-neglect not as a personal failure, but as a learned survival strategy, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who spent years masking, adapting, and pushing through. From skipping meals and ignoring pain to treating rest as something that must be earned, self-neglect often looks “functional” on the outside while quietly draining your nervous system.Regina explores why high-capacity, over-functioning people learn to ignore their needs, how burnout and chronic dysregulation sneak in, and why self-forgiveness is so tricky when you judge your past self with present-day knowledge. This episode offers a compassionate reframe: you neglected yourself to survive.You’ll also hear practical ways to begin practicing self-forgiveness, including releasing shame, lowering expectations without self-judgment, and building accommodations that actually support your brain and body.If you’re navigating burnout, late diagnosis, or unlearning lifelong self-abandonment, this episode offers a gentle place to start.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Do you replay conversations long after an event ends, analyzing what you said, what you should have said, and how everything might have been perceived? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. unpacks post-event rumination, a common experience for neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD and autism.Together with co-host Russ Catanach, Regina explains why the brain gets stuck in these mental loops after social or professional interactions—and why rumination isn’t a personal failing, but a nervous-system response shaped by masking, rejection sensitivity, and unmet needs for safety and closure. You’ll learn how rumination differs from reflection, what actually fuels it, and why trying to “just stop thinking about it” rarely works.This conversation offers compassionate, practical strategies to help you interrupt rumination cycles, regulate your nervous system, and release the emotional hangover that often follows meetings, presentations, or social gatherings. If you’ve ever felt exhausted by your own thoughts after an event, this episode will help you understand what’s happening—and how to move forward with more ease.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

If you’ve spent your whole life being “the capable one”—the reliable friend, the problem-solver at work, the emotional anchor for everyone else—you’re not alone. Many late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults are quietly carrying this role, often without ever choosing it. And the cost? Chronic burnout, emotional exhaustion, resentment, and a complete disconnect from your own needs.In this episode, Dr. Regina unpacks why neurodivergent women so often become “the capable one,” how masking and people-pleasing feed the pattern, and revisits why capability is not the same as capacity. You’ll learn the signs of overfunctioning, the hidden emotional labor that drains your nervous system, and how to start stepping out of this survival role with compassion, boundaries, and sustainable support.If you’ve ever wondered, “Why am I so tired when I’m doing everything right?” then this episode will give you the language, validation, and tools you’ve been missing.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Neurodivergent folks are told constantly: “Just make it a habit.” But if that advice has ever activated your fight-or-flight response, you’re not alone. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina and Russ break down why traditional habit culture simply wasn’t built for neurodivergent brains and why it’s not your fault that the habit trackers, streaks, and “21-day rules” never stick.We dig into the real neuroscience behind dopamine inconsistency, interest-based nervous systems, and basal ganglia automation. The three core reasons ND folks struggle with building automatic routines. We also explore how demand avoidance and shame play into the habit-making process, and why forcing consistency often backfires.But it’s not all doomscrolling and lint-trap metaphors. You’ll hear practical strategies that do work for ND brains: environmental cues, personalized triggers, changing your space, anchoring tasks to daily events, and building systems that support your life instead of fighting it. Russ also shares how small environmental tweaks improved his productivity and how testing one change at a time can transform the whole system.If you’ve ever felt broken because you “can’t stick to habits,” this episode will help you release the shame, trust your brain, and build support systems that actually fit how your mind works. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

People-pleasing, self-abandonment, and unmasking are deeply connected, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent folk. In this solo episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina breaks down how people-pleasing develops as a survival strategy, why it often leads to chronic self-abandonment, and what it really takes to unmask after years of shaping yourself around other people’s expectations.You’ll learn:A simple definition of people-pleasing and how it functionsWhat self-abandonment looks like and why it becomes automaticWhy unmasking often feels scary, disorienting, or selfish (spoiler: it’s not)Three practical strategies to help you reconnect with your needs and rebuild trust with yourselfIf you’ve spent most of your life trying to keep the peace, be "easy-going,” or avoid rejection, this episode will help you understand where those patterns came from and how to gently begin to change them. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I know I can do it… so why can’t I just make myself?” In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina and co-host Russ unpack the crucial difference between what you’re capable of doing and what you actually have the capacity to do.From ADHD burnout to chronic overcommitment, we explore how late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults often confuse skill with bandwidth, pushing themselves past their limits because they’ve been praised for performance, not pacing.Learn how to recognize when your energy, executive function, or emotional regulation are running low, and discover strategies to stay within your true capacity without guilt or shame.Topics Include:The difference between capability and capacity (and why it matters)Why neurodivergent people often push past their limitsSigns you’re out of capacity (even when you’re still capable)How to set boundaries without shameTips for rebuilding capacity and honoring your bandwidthSign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Have you ever found yourself repeating the same story three times in a row—even to the same person—just trying to get it right? You’re not being dramatic or forgetful. You’re doing a live edit and it’s a powerful, neurodivergent form of emotional processing.In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy breaks down why late-diagnosed ADHDers and autistic folks often retell the same story multiple times in the same sitting. From revising word choice to decoding emotions, this repetition isn’t a flaw—it’s a form of self-regulation, sense-making, and emotional closure.You’ll learn:Why ND folks reprocess stories to find the right phrasingHow looping helps uncover hidden emotions and somatic responsesThe difference between external and internal processing (spoiler: journaling counts!)Why "getting it out" helps us finally let it goTips for naming and navigating your own live edit moments—with graceWhether you're a serial story-repeater or someone who needs to say it out loud to know what you think, this episode will help you understand your brain with more clarity and compassion.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Ever find yourself still furious about a group project from 25 years ago? You might be dealing with justice sensitivity: that intense gut-level reaction when something feels unfair.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD—ADHD coach for late-diagnosed, nerdy neurodivergent women in higher ed and tech—is joined by co-host Russ Catanach to unpack why fairness feels so personal for so many neurodivergent adults.They explore how justice sensitivity shows up alongside rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), ADHD impulsivity, and autistic integrity, and how this deep moral drive can both empower and exhaust us. From childhood classroom memories to academic workplaces that reward compliance over compassion, Regina shares how her brain’s wiring to “fight every fight” shaped her career and her coaching philosophy.You’ll learn: -> Why neurodivergent people experience injustice so intensely -> How justice sensitivity connects to empathy, burnout, and advocacy -> Strategies to channel your sense of fairness without burning outIf fairness feels like a calling (or a full-time job), this episode is for you.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Grief is never simple but for neurodivergent folks, it can feel like trying to swim through wet cement. In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, shares her own experience of loss while exploring how grief collides with executive dysfunction, emotional numbness, and rejection sensitivity.If you’ve ever struggled to make phone calls, fill out forms, or even feel your emotions after someone you love has died, this episode is for you. You’ll learn why grief scrambles our executive functioning, how alexithymia can make it hard to name what we’re feeling, and why guilt and self-blame often hit especially hard for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults.Because sometimes the hardest part of grieving isn’t the loss itself—it’s learning to be gentle with a brain that’s already overloaded.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. She helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal, and thrive without burning out. Author of the N.E.R.D. Notes Newsletter and host of the Divergent Paths podcast, Regina blends academic insight with nerdy joy to build belonging from the inside out. Catch her on Instagram

You ever open your calendar and wonder who signed you up for all this—only to realize it was you?In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, and co-host Russ Catanach dive into the exhausting cycle of masking through overcommitment. It's a familiar pattern of saying yes to everything just to look capable, helpful, or “normal.” Together, they unpack why neurodivergent people often take on too much, how that habit drains energy, and what it really means to check your capacity instead of just your calendar.Regina shares a personal story about agreeing to dog-sit right after Comic-Con (spoiler: it did not go as planned) and how learning to pause before saying yes became a game-changer. Russ reflects on how people-pleasing and masking can blur the line between joy and obligation.From capacity planning to “potato days,” this episode offers practical ways to honor your limits, manage energy instead of time, and break free from the burnout cycle. Because saying no isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect.🎧 You’ll learn:Why masking often leads to chronic overcommitmentHow to tell the difference between a masking yes and an authentic yesWhy checking your energy matters more than checking your scheduleHow “potato days” (rest days) help your brain recoverScripts for saying no without guiltWhether you’re an ADHD overachiever, an autistic perfectionist, or a recovering people-pleaser, this conversation will help you find peace in doing less—and thriving more.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!If the sight of a form to fill out or bills you need to pay makes you want to crawl under a blanket, you’re not alone. In this episode of Neurodivergent Synthesis, Dr. Regina breaks down why paperwork — those endless forms, emails, and administrative tasks — can feel like an impossible boss fight for neurodivergent brains.Paperwork doesn’t just require focus; it demands executive functioning, emotional regulation, and compliance with arbitrary rules — all while offering zero dopamine rewards. Add in Demand Avoidance (“What do you mean I have to do this?”) and Rejection Sensitivity (“What if I do it wrong?”), and you’ve got the perfect recipe for overwhelm, avoidance, and shame spirals.Together, we’ll unpack how these overlapping neurodivergent traits combine to make even “simple” tasks so complex — and how understanding the pattern can help you reframe, strategize, and show yourself some compassion.In this episode, we explore:Why executive dysfunction + low dopamine makes paperwork a multi-step nightmareHow PDA turns “required” tasks into nervous-system resistanceHow RSD feeds the fear of messing up or being judgedRealistic, nerd-friendly strategies for finally slaying the paperwork monsterYou’re not lazy. You’re navigating a system that was never designed for your brain.Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. She helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal, and thrive without burning out. Author of the N.E.R.D. Notes Newsletter and host of the Divergent Paths podcast, Regina blends academic insight with nerdy joy to build belonging from the inside out. Catch her on Instagram @DrReginaPhD

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Unmasking isn’t about ignoring others or living without filters. It’s about finally showing up as your real self instead of a version built to keep everyone else comfortable. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, and co-host Russ bust the biggest misconceptions about neurodivergent unmasking.They unpack three common myths:That unmasking means you stop caring what people think,That unmasking gives you permission to be unfiltered or rude, andThat unmasking means putting your needs above others.Through personal stories and humor (yes, including a pizza-related revelation), Regina and Russ explore what healthy unmasking really looks like—balancing authenticity, empathy, and accountability without losing connection.Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. She helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal, and thrive without burning out. Author of the N.E.R.D. Notes Newsletter and host of the Divergent Paths podcast, Regina blends academic insight with nerdy joy to build belonging from the inside out. Catch her on Instagram @DrReginaPhD

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Perfectionism doesn’t always show up in spreadsheets and checklists. In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. explores how the drive to be perfectly understood shapes her writing, her identity, and her unmasking journey.Drawing from her background as a poet and her late auDHD diagnosis, Regina shares how a deep love for words has always been both a gift and a trap. She breaks down how perfectionism in writing often comes from a need for clarity, safety, and self-expression and why that pursuit of “just the right word” can feel both empowering and exhausting.Whether you obsess over every sentence in an email or edit your voice in real-time during conversations, this episode offers gentle insight into how language, perfectionism, and neurodivergence intertwine.Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. She helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal, and thrive without burning out. Author of the N.E.R.D. Notes Newsletter and host of the Divergent Paths podcast, Regina blends academic insight with nerdy joy to build belonging from the inside out. Catch her on Instagram @DrReginaPhD

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Why do neurodivergent brains often wait until the last minute to get things done? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. and co-host Russ Catanach unpack urgency bias: the tendency to focus only on what feels immediately urgent. From procrastination and crisis-mode productivity to burnout and emotional stress, we explore why urgency bias happens, how it can both help and harm, and practical strategies to work with it instead of against it. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I only get things done when the deadline is on top of me,” this episode is for you.Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!What happens after you unmask and suddenly realize you’re not sure who you really are? In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores the identity crisis that often follows late-diagnosed ADHD or autism, and why not knowing who you are without the mask is completely normal.Regina shares why high-masking neurodivergent adults often lose touch with their preferences, emotions, and even their sense of self and what to do about it. With compassion, personal stories, and reflective prompts, this episode guides you through the messy, beautiful process of rediscovering who you are beneath the performance.You’ll learn:Why masking can overwrite identityHow grief and fear show up after unmaskingWhere to start when you don’t know your likes, needs, or voice anymoreGentle strategies for rebuilding a sense of self, one moment at a timeIf you’ve ever asked, “Who am I, really?”—this one’s for you.Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!In this special episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. and co-host Russ Catanach take you inside their live panel at Rose City Comic Con: “Neurospicy Brains, Found Family, and Fandom… Oh My!” Recorded in front of nearly 400 attendees, this conversation highlights how fandom communities — from cosplay to comics to gaming — provide belonging and resilience for late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adults. Joined by panelists Rachel Ferdaszewski, Isabela Oliveira, and Rabbi Davina Bookbinder, the panel explores neurodivergent identity, perfectionism, masking, burnout, and the healing power of found family in geek culture.If you’ve ever felt like you “missed the tutorial level of life,” this episode will remind you that you’re not alone and that your story matters.Join N.E.R.D.sBook a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Masking isn’t a lie—it’s a life skill. In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy unpacks why neurodivergent people learn to mask from such a young age and why it’s not a failure of authenticity but a tool for safety and belonging.Drawing from her personal experience as a late-diagnosed ADHD adult and mother, Regina explores how masking develops in response to rejection sensitivity, social expectations, and survival instincts. She also discusses the complex reality of unintentionally teaching masking to our kids and why approaching this topic with compassion is the key to healing.You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of:How masking starts (and why it’s reinforced)Why it’s normal to mask even after diagnosisThe cost of masking—and the power of reframing itHow to begin the unmasking process with self-trust and intentionIf you’ve ever felt ashamed for hiding parts of yourself, this episode will help you replace that shame with compassion.Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Impulsivity isn’t just about skydiving on a whim or blowing your paycheck on shoes. For neurodivergent folks, it often shows up in subtle ways: cutting someone off mid-sentence, firing off a 2am text, or jumping to finish someone’s thought. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy and co-host Russ Catanach delve into the neurological implications of impulsivity, examining how dopamine and executive function contribute to its manifestation, and why it’s not always a flaw. They share personal stories, pop culture examples, and practical strategies for pausing between urge and action, while still honoring the creativity and spontaneity that impulsivity can bring.Whether you live with ADHD, autism, or are just curious about how neurodivergent brains work, this episode will change the way you think about impulsivity.Want to dig deeper? Practice some healthy impulsivity by signing up for Regina’s free newsletter at divergentpathsconsulting.com for more stories, strategies, and resources.Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Unmasking as a neurodivergent adult isn’t about oversharing. It’s about finally showing up as your full self. In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy shares practical, compassionate unmasking strategies designed for late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults navigating work, relationships, and everyday life.Learn how to recognize when you’re masking, stop performing to make other people comfortable and start honoring your real needs. From communication habits to self-accommodation, this episode offers small, actionable steps to help you unmask with intention—not fear.Whether you’re just beginning to understand your neurodivergence or you’ve been on this journey for a while, this episode is a grounding, encouraging guide to reclaiming your voice, your energy, and your identity.Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Struggling to recognize when you’re hungry, tired, anxious—or even where your body is in space? You’re not alone. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy and co-host Russ Catanach explore the often-overlooked sensory systems of interoception and proprioception—and why they’re especially important for neurodivergent folks.We break down:What interoception and proprioception actually areWhy body awareness feels harder for ADHDers and autistic peopleHow these “hidden senses” impact emotional regulation, burnout, and self-carePersonal stories of missed signals, sensory confusion, and learning to tune inTools to reconnect with your body and support your nervous systemWhether you’re newly diagnosed or deep in your unmasking journey, understanding these internal sensory systems can be a game-changer. Your body’s been trying to talk to you—maybe it’s time to listen. So enjoy this episode we lovingly nicknamed, "Where did that bruise come from?"Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.