Anxious Attachment in Neurodivergent Friendships: Hyperfocus and the Power of the Pause

When you have an anxious attachment style, friendships can feel uniquely destabilizing, especially if you’re neurodivergent. A delayed text, a shift in tone, or a little extra space can send your nervous system into overdrive, even when nothing is actually wrong.In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores how anxious attachment shows up in neurodivergent friendships, not just romantic relationships. She breaks down why friendships often feel more ambiguous and triggering, how ADHD hyperfocus can turn one person into a primary regulation anchor, and why that dynamic creates so much pressure for you and for the relationship.You’ll learn why anxious attachment isn’t about being “needy,” but about seeking safety and connection with a nervous system shaped by inconsistency. Regina introduces the Power of the Pause, a practical, compassionate framework for interrupting panic-driven reactions before they turn into spiraling texts, shame, or self-blame.If you’re late-diagnosed ADHD or autistic, struggle with anxious attachment in friendships, or constantly worry that people are pulling away, this conversation will help you choose regulation over reassurance and create space for connection to grow.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.