Appreciations From My Garden

I’m a gardener. A cook. A traveler. A spiritual guide. A paradigm-shifter. A conscious connector and conversationalist. Like many of us, it’s difficult to say I’m anything else besides a mother, an entrepreneur, a leadership trainer. We tend to limit ourSelves into our job title or what our role is at home. For years, I was governed (and took comfort) in having a job description. A job title. A business card that stated my role and who I worked for. There’s security in that. In having a written out instruction and policy manual, a clear printed out Roles and Responsibilities, along with who I worked for, worked with, and how to measure my performance. In only a few years after leaving the corporate world, I was yearning for that same structure. It was long gone, in my marriage and role as mother and wife. No one gave me accolades or bonuses on bringing up a profit margin or how many clients were served compared to last year’s same quarter. And it continued to become more ambiguous as I navigated my way through a rocky marriage, parenting our daughters and finding my peer group of older moms to socialize with. My other friends from work were NOT stay-at-home moms. They didn’t understand my angst at not knowing how I was doing. Not having that consistent feedback from my VP or clients meant I had to start figuring out my own progress. Measure my own performance. That wasn’t easy for me as I listened to the regular negative commentary from my then spouse. It’s been a journey of self-discovery to undo that messaging in my mind, heart, body and spirit. Over 10 years later, I’m continuing to rewire and rewrite or completely self-author who I am. How I’m doing and how I’m feeling. I get to hear feedback from others and ask myself, “ Is that true?” “Does it even apply to me or my experience?” Or “Is that their story showing up through my actions or their own reactions to me?” It’s been a great decade. As I continue to unfold, blossom and show up, just like the new wildflowers, perennials, biannuals, and weeds in my garden, I see that there’s a divine beauty and wild mystery to the timing of things. Let’s see where this unfolds today as we dive into Self-Authoring. Learning about who we are as we are being reflected back by others, our gardens, the Universe. © 2018 Deborah LeeAnn Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting www.DeborahLeeAnn.com