Are we expecting more of our kids than we do of ourselves?

Are we holding our kids to a higher standard than we do ourselves?In this episode of Let’s Reconnect, psychologist Breanna Jayne Sada explores one of the most common (and often hidden) causes of family conflict: unrealistic expectations.From screen time battles to homework struggles, emotional outbursts to bedtime routines, many parents unknowingly hold their children to standards they wouldn’t meet themselves. This episode breaks down why that happens, what’s going on in a child’s developing brain, and how shifting your expectations can transform your relationship with your child.If you’ve ever felt frustrated, overwhelmed, or stuck in the same arguments with your child or teen, this episode will help you step back, reflect, and reconnect—with more empathy, understanding, and realistic expectations.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy unrealistic expectations are a major source of conflict in familiesHow children’s brain development impacts behaviour and emotional regulationThe role of dopamine, motivation, and “in-the-moment” thinking in kids and teensHow comparison, social media, and fear-based parenting shape expectationsWhy we often justify our own behaviour but criticise the same behaviour in our childrenPractical ways to model behaviour instead of demanding itHow empathy and timing can improve cooperation (especially with screen time and homework)Why “good enough parenting” is more than enoughKey TakeawaysChildren are not mini adults—they have different neurological capacity and need support, not just expectationsMany behaviours we label as “problematic” in children are actually developmentally normalIf an adult would struggle to meet an expectation, it’s worth questioning whether it’s realistic for a childBehaviour change happens through modelling, consistency, and connection—not lectures or punishmentSmall shifts in awareness can significantly reduce conflict and strengthen relationshipsCommon Parenting Moments This Episode ExploresAsking your child to stop gaming or screen time immediatelyFrustration around homework and motivationToddlers not finishing mealsBabies not sleeping through the nightEmotional outbursts and “tantrums”Family conflict driven by mismatched expectationsPractical Parenting StrategiesGive transitions and warnings before ending preferred activitiesUse empathy before instruction (“I know this is hard to stop…”)Model the behaviour you want to see (screen time, emotional regulation, routines)Narrate your own challenges and how you manage themRepair after conflict—own your part and reset expectationsReflect: Could I meet this expectation myself? What support would I need?Instagram: @breanna.jayne_psychologistPodcast Instagram: @letsreconnect_podWebsite: https://www.breannajayne.com/If you found this episode helpful, follow Let’s Reconnect, leave a rating, and share it with another parent who might need this reminder.Got a question for a future episode? Send it through via Instagram DMs.Let's Reconnect next episode. In the meantime, subscribe and follow our podcast and socials @breanna.jayne_psych @letsreconnect_pod. If you or your child would like to write in with a question or story, or you’d like to be a guest advocating for the needs of children and young people, please reach out.Disclaimer:The information in this podcast is general and not a substitute for individual clinical advice or treatment. While I am a registered psychologist, I am not providing personalised guidance here. Every child and family is different, and what’s discussed may not suit your situation.If you have concerns, please seek support from a qualified mental health professional. For immediate help, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, or call 000 in an emergency.Views expressed are my own and not those of any organisations I am associated with. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.