Are You the 'Fixer'? Unpacking High-Functioning Codependency with Terri Cole

Terri is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert. She is the author of ‘Boundary Boss’ and ‘Too Much’. This is the third time Terri has joined us on the podcast! The first time was to speak about cheating, the second was to speak about boundaries and today Terri is joining us to unpack codependence! But, not the standard idea of what codependency is.

Today we speak about what Terri refers to as ‘high functioning codependence’ and how we are able to recognise when we are doing ‘too much’ for other people, and need to prioritise ourselves more. Spoiler, none of us identified as being codependent… until we learnt what high functioning codependency looked like and the alarm bells RANG!

We speak about:

• High functioning codependency isn’t what we typically think of a a ‘codependent person’

• They’re highly capable, the person everyone depends on, the problem solver, the ‘fixer’

• Resentment inventories! We all need to identify where we are ‘over giving’ and ‘over functioning’

• Being hyper independent, “I got it” and not wanting to ask for help or owing other people anything 

• How it all contributes to burnout and cognitive overload
  
  Do you identify with any of these labels? They might be new to you!
  -approval seeking,
  -auto fixing/auto accommodator
  -self sacrificing
  -hyper helping

You can listen to Terri’s previous episodes with us here: People Pleasers Anonymous - Better Boundaries

and Once A Cheater, Are They Always A Cheater?

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