Are You Writing for Others or Yourself? How to Break Free From People-Pleasing as a Writer

Send us Fan Mail About this episode: Have you ever said yes to something that felt like destiny, only to realize later it took you further from your goals? In this episode, I share a personal story about a writing group experience that taught me one of the most important lessons of my creative life: the difference between people-pleasing and truly following your gut. I break down what people-pleasing actually is, why we do it, and how it shows up in our writing and our lives in ways we don't always recognize, including through the fawning trauma response. Plus, I share the Achilles’ heel question that gets writers into more trouble than almost anything else. If you've ever said yes to something that felt like destiny only to find it took you further from your goals, this episode is for you. Resources for this Episode: The Fawning Trauma Response with Ingrid Clayton Fawning by Ingrid Clayton The Gifts of Adversity by Norman Rosenthal Get Your Free Human Design Report Register for Build Better Memoir Scenes Ditch Your Inner Critic Now Episode Highlights 03:19 Defining People Pleasing 06:46 Fawning Trauma Response 12:34 How It Shows Up Writing 15:58 Get Clear What You Want 18:52 You Should Write Book Trap 27:30 Wrap Up And Journal Prompt Lisa’s Bio: Lisa Cooper Ellison is an author, speaker, trauma-informed writing coach, and host of the Writing Your Resilience podcast. Working at the powerful intersection of storytelling and healing, she blends her writing expertise, clinical training, and soul-centered practices—including Akashic Records work and Human Design—to help writers turn their hardest experiences into art. Her essays—on sibling loss, grief, trauma healing, and the craft of writing—have appeared in The New York Times, HuffPost, and The Loss of a Lifetime: Grieving Siblings Share Stories of Love, Loss, and Hope, among others. Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/ Connect with your host, Lisa: Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/ Website | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn Produced by Espresso Podcast Production