Ask a Man 15 May '25: 'My partner took the lobola money.'

Anonymous says he’s been dating the mother of his child for 10 years now and he’s looking to get married to her, but he’s not quite sure based on her behaviour.  Anonymous says they fight a lot and says she keeps bringing up past fights. Anonymous says he wanted to start the lobola process last year but she said to him that she’s not ready to get married and instead kept the money that was meant for her lobola.  Anonymous says when he asks about this money she gets upset so he feels like he can’t bring up anymore.