#AskAMan

Anonymous recently had a baby with her partner of four years and they’ve now broken up after she felt like he wasn’t taking care of her after giving birth to their child.  He has suggested that they continue to live with each other and raise the child together but she’s confused by that offer and doesn’t know what to do.  She adds that she doesn’t want to be a single parent.

Anonymous met a guy in October 2021, they dated for 19 days before they got engaged.  Just as the lobola proceedings were about to begin she fell pregnant so they put a pause on their marriage.  The guy started cheating on her months into the relationship and says the behaviour also coincided with him reconnecting with his long-lost father who seemed to encourage his drinking and infidelity.  They managed to work through this but he is now having an affair with another lady…

Anonymous is asking whether she should accept lobola in rands or in dollars… She started dating guy no.1 two years after the end of her 25 year marriage. Things were going well with guy no.1 and they had solid future plans until she realised that he was cheating on her and things were not going well.  She recently met guy no.2 online and he lives overseas. She says things are going well in that 6 month relationship and he even wants to marry her with his Dollars.  However, guy no.1 wants to get serious with her and also wants to marry anonymous with his Rands.

Anonymous is calling on behalf of her friend, who has been in a toxic relationship for many years now and has children with her partner.  This has been going on for many years and as friends they’ve been trying to support her but it’s become a lot and the children are also voicing how the abuse in the house has become too much.  Her parter has expressed that she really would love to leave this relationship but doesn’t know how to go about doing that.

Anonymous and his partner started dating in 2018 and broke up in 2022. They then got back together in 2023 and have been together ever since.  He recently found out that she had been having an affair with another man, after the same men told him and shared explicit pictures and videos as evidence of the affair.  He confronted her about it, she apologised and said that she was done with the guy and was willing to tell anonymous anything he wants to know about the affair, which allowed them to move forward with their relationship.  However, anonymous is struggling to move forward as he reflects on the extent of this betrayal…

Anonymous, who has been with her current partner for about six years, says she always knew their relationship wouldn’t end in marriage.  She’s a writer and has written books about her past abusive relationships, which her partner has read. However, she says that whenever they argue, he brings up her previous partners, claiming he understands why they treated her that way.

Anonymous broke with his girlfriend about two weeks ago, after going through a tough season in their three-year relationship.  He says they were experiencing a lot of stress in their relationship, she I. particular is currently studying so that was putting a lot of pressure on her.  Their sex life started taking a dip and this caused a major rift in their relationship, further pushing them away from each other…

Anonymous is in her early forties and has 4 children, including one who’s living with cerebral palsy. She’s divorced and tried dating but found out that the guy was cheating on her so she ended it.  Fast forward to 26 May 2026, she met a guy  who is almost 10 year younger than her, they hit it off and she says he’s been an amazing partner towards her, very romantic and caring.  Her problem with him is that he’s short tempered and can very moody at times….

Anonymous has been with her partner since 2022 and says things were great between them for the first two years but changed in 2024 after her partner’s father past away.  She says she started feeling insecure after he cut-off his dreadlocks and that caused a lot of turmoil between them, which eventually led to their relationship becoming toxic.  They broke up in May of this year, but continued to be friends and have a sexual relationship

Anonymous met a guy a few years ago in a taxi and they would talk to each other which led to him helping her in finding a learnership.  She works close his workplace and he would even drive her to work everyday, and they ended up having a sexual relationship, however, cut him off afterwards as she didn’t enjoy being with him.  After a couple of weeks of avoiding him, she contacted him again as she didn’t have money for transport and he would drive her...

Anonymous and her partner have been together for about three years. They were both married to other people before they started their relationship, she has one child from her marriage and he has three.  Her partner has a problem with the fact that she speaks to her ex-husband and father of her child, because he fears that she still has a romantic relationship with him. 

Anonymous has been with her boyfriend for about 8 years now and they have a child together.  She’s in her mid-twenties and he’s in his mid-thirties. They stay in separate houses, both at their parent’s homes.  After her grandparents advised that they should be married and living together for the sake of their child, anonymous’ boyfriend broke things off with her because of this.

Anonymous is in her early thirties and she is in a relationship with a man who is twenty years older than her.  She went through her partner’s phone months ago and found out that he was cheating. After confronting him about this he said she wasn’t mentally well since losing her father late  last year and she needed to to deal with that.  Months later she found out he was cheating again, and again 

Anonymous and his wife are married with two children, however, he recently realised that his wife has been having sex with multiple men and he even thinks some it is transactional.  He discovered this on her phone and he finds himself confused by the whole situation. Anonymous says when he previously realised she was sleeping with someone else, he suggested they make their relationship and open relationship, however, he feels like she’s taken that too far.

Anonymous’ younger half-sister recently moved to his house as she could no longer live at res.  However, his girlfriend has expressed that she’s uncomfortable with him living with his sister suspecting that he might have an affair with his sister.  They fought about this and are now not really on speaking terms. He’s offended by this and doesn’t understand why his partner is reacting this way. 

Anonymous has been dating a married man for a while now, and his wife found out about three years ago, despite this, they continued with their relationship.  Her issue now is that she feels like the man’s wife is now keeping tabs on her movements and stalking her.  Anonymous initially ended things with him after his wife found out but he came saying his wife was ok with the situation. However, it doesn’t appear that way now and she’s not sure what to do. 

Anonymous says she made a pact with herself that she would like to keep her past in her past but she recently ran into a guy from her past.  Things didn’t end well between them, but it wasn’t too bad, as they were in a casual relationship. They spoke for a bit and she enjoyed the moment so much that she now wonders if it’s worth rekindling. 

Anonymous met a guy a few months ago while at a funeral, they hit it off and ended up engaging in a one night stand.  He revealed to her that he has a partner and they have two children, but they continued chatting anyway, although that faded because she became a little bored of him.  They eventually ran into each other on Tik Tok and started talking again which led to them rekindling their relationship.  They’ve since met up a couple of times but she says he never seems to have time for her, and while she enjoys their sexual relationship, she wants more from him.

Anonymous has been with her partner for 12 years and they’ve been married for 6 of those years. Their marriage happened as result of anonymous falling pregnant and they had one other child after getting married.  She’s found out a few times that he was cheating and when she addresses this and other issues in their relationship, he shuts her down and tells her that she should be more grateful of the things he has done for her. 

Anonymous has been with her partner since 2020 and two years after being together she fell pregnant and they moved in together.  He’s always had a problem with over-drinking, and spends a lot of his time hanging out with his friends. This behaviour  has also affected his work life.  He’s also epileptic and has had a few seizure episodes. As a result she’s been advising him to slow down on the drinking but he never heeds her advice. 

Anonymous and his partner have been  together for 8 months.  They recognised early on in their relationship that they have differences in terms of their religious beliefs but continued with their relationship. She’s tried to follow his religion but it hasn’t really worked out and she’s told him that she sees God differently to how he sees God.  They are now in conflict over this and are not seeing eye to eye. He’s not sure if their relationship will survive but he loves her a lot. 

Anonymous has been with her partner for about two years.  They met during a tumultuous period in both their lives as he was going through a divorce when they met and months into their relationship she lost her mother.  This meant that there was a lot of trauma bonding early in their relationship, however, as they healed from their difficult situations, they started to get into a lot of conflicts because of their different outlooks on life including marriage, children and financial prospects. They’ve been separated for two months now, and she’s not sure if they should get back together. 

Anonymous started dating a guy early this year after he moved into her neighbourhood late last year. He’s generally a great partner when he’s around but he has a tendency to switch off and ghost her. When he’s back he showers her with gifts, and wants to act as if this are fine and back to normal.

Anonymous was in an 8 year long relationship that ended less than two months ago as result of her now ex partner being abusive.  Shortly after breaking up her long term partner she reached out to another guy who had been pursuing her for over a year. They started casually dating as the guy was in a relationship with someone else.  She’s was ok with the fact that he was with someone else as that would keep their relationship casual.  The guy now wants to break up with his girlfriend so he can be with anonymous but she’s not interested in having anything serious currently as she’s still recovering from her previous relationship.  She’s not sure if she should break things off him as she also does have deeper feelings for the guy.

Anonymous has been with her partner for almost 9 years and says while he was the perfect gentleman when they started dating, she cheated on him in the early stages of their relationship.  After that he was a changed man and was also cheating on her. At some point he got physically violent towards her after he incorrectly believed  that she had slept with his best friend. They broke up after this incident but got back together because she was pregnant with their child, who was born in 2022. He continued to be unfaithful and they’ve been in an on-and-off relationship since then as result of his cheating.

Anonymous has been with his wife for 8 years and they’ve been married for two of those years.  He has been in a relationship with another woman for the last three years. His wife once found out about the other woman, he left lady no.2 as a result but ended up getting back together with lady no.2 without his wife knowing.  His wife has once again caught on to his side relationship and has given him an ultimatum. He, however, loves both women and would like to pursue a polygamous relationship, but he’s note sure how to go about it. 

Anonymous has been with her partner for about two years and says the most part their relationship has been great.  They struggle with conflict management in the relationship and she feels like he doesn’t really consider her feelings or her needs.  He also says she doesn’t take accountability for her actions, but she feels like it’s actually the other way around.  While she thinks he’s a nice guy, she’s not sure if he’s good at being a romantic partner. 

Anonymous was caught cheating by his partner yesterday after she looked through his phone, while he was sleeping, and saw texts between him and a lady he cheated on her with, who is now pregnant with his child.  He says he was a womaniser for many years and he’s now in a committed relationship but is struggling to say no when ladies make advances towards him.  He knows this is a problem, and he wants to change but he’s struggling. 

Anonymous is in her mid-twenties and is currently dating a man who’s ten years older than her.  They met online and got to know each other really well as they were chatting a lot. Through this he was able to share that his mother is not well, dealing with a metal health issue. She’s since met his sister who is also dealing with a mental health issue.  He did reveal to her that he once went through a depression when he went through a tough time in his business which he lost. Times are tough in his family and he’s struggling with this, which has affected their relationship. 

Anonymous says her brother is the problem in her relationship. They don’t have parents and it’s just the two of them at home.  She has been with her partner for a while, they came into their relationship with children and she’s now pregnant with their first child.  Her partner wants to marry her but her brother is refusing, which is blocking the traditional processes they need to follow in order to get married.  This is now affecting her relationship with her partner, who’s not happy that they can’t be a family because of her brother. 

Anonymous met her husband back in 2014 and he was living abroad, for his studies and work. He moved back home as a result of the COVID pandemic.  She realised that he had actually been with other people during his time away but they were able to move forward from this.  Over the last few years he’s been working at a local tertiary institution and she says he’s been caught cheating with students and other people at the school multiple times. 

Anonymous has been with his partner for about two years now, he is in his late thirties and she is in her late thirties. She was a virgin when they met and they only got intimate after nine months in the relationship.  He thinks the fact that it took so long for them to start having sexual intercourse really affected him, and it actually did cause a rift in their relationship at the time.  She fell pregnant shortly after they started having sex, and this also affected their sexual relationship as they were not getting together anymore…

Anonymous is bisexual and has been with his female partner for about 4 years now.  They had some tough times in their relationship due to anonymous needing to deal with his past traumas, but they got through this.  Recently she started behaving a bit differently, he got suspicious, went through her phone and found that she was chatting to other guys even telling them that she’s not very serious about anonymous.  He doesn’t know how to feel about this and there’s also the matter of his sexuality

Anonymous and his partner have been together for about 10 years and they have three children, two children together and one from his partner’s previous relationship.  They both cheated in their relationship but forgave each other and moved forward with their relationship.  Recently they came back from a party and his partner’s friend came home with them and slept over in their house, the children weren’t there… While he was sexually busy with his partner, she suggested that they invite her friend, who was sleeping in another room, to join them in their bedroom. Anonymous said no to this suggestion…

Anonymous has been with his partner since about 2013 and they are now around 30 years of age.  Her partner found a job in another country and this seems to have affected their communication. She doesn’t answer his calls and when they do eventually speak she tells him that she’s busy.  Their relationship is now broken down and he doesn’t know what to do. They also adopted her sister’s child and that relationship is now in limbo. 

Anonymous has been with her partner for almost two years and says he’s been a good partner to her for the most part.  Throughout their relationship he’s been talking a lot about having children, however, she wasn’t ready. He recently revealed to her that he’s impregnated another lady, they ended things as a result. However, the other lady miscarried and he is now back, telling anonymous he wants to get back together, the pregnancy was a mistake…

Anonymous is in her late thirties and has one child. She’s been dating a guy on and off for about 10 years now, however, the guy has a girlfriend who he has two children with.  She was with someone else when she met him and ended up dropping that guy for this one who has a partner.  She was a side for many years but eventually gave him an ultimatum telling him to leave his main girlfriend for her but he never left the main.  She broke up with him but four months later the guy came back saying he had left his other girlfriend.  They are now dating again, however…

Anonymous met his wife in 2005, and they later got married after having a child in 2010. After getting married they started attending the same church, which is his church. There’s an elderly lady on the worship team at their church who stated that there’s a prophecy that anonymous would need to leave his wife for this lady’s daughter.  This information was shared with anonymous’ wife, but it was told to her as though it’s something that’s actually happening….

Anonymous is the eldest son in his family and only has sisters, and he’s now also married.  Her wife has deep Christian beliefs and his mother is a sangoma, so his family tends to follow Traditional African religion.  His younger sister has taken ill and his uncle suggested they visit a sangoma in Mozambique who could help his sister.  He told his wife about his intention to support his family in taking his sister to this sangoma but she didn’t take this well and said anonymous is now inviting other spirits into their home. 

You've heard the conversations on Metro FM for years... and now “Ask A Man” is coming to S3! Got a relationship dilemma? A situationship that's gone sideways? Mixed signals? Heartbreak? Or a question you've never had the courage to ask? Share your story and it could be featured on the TV show—all completely anonymous. Joining Khutso for more details is Video Entertainment Marketing Manager, Dichaba Phalatse.

Anonymous says when she met his partner he was clean and proper and was a great person towards her.  However, after a while of dating each other, they moved in together and this is when she realised certain aspects of his personality. She says he was always moody and wasn’t as fun as he used to be before.  As result of his behaviour, they agreed to continue with the relationship but live apart. He then moved out abruptly which took her by surprise.  She confronted him about his move and he told her that he moved because he no longer felt welcomed in her space, the talked through it and he has now moved back to their place…

Anonymous and her partner have been together for 5 years, she’s in her mid-twenties and he’s in his late twenties.  Her problem with him is that he doesn’t seem to want to work. He’s not interested in looking and he currently doesn’t work. He’s been this way since she’s been with him and when she asks him why he’s not working he has many excuses, including his spirituality.  She’s now broken up with him, however, he wants to get back together with her and she’s not sure if she should, because she does love him but worries about his lack of ambition.

Anonymous met a guy who lives in her complex mid-last year, they hit it off and started dating.  Around September last year they had a miscommunication and things became a bit tense between them. They never really spoke about what happened between them and their relationship just fizzled out from there.  Fast forward to this year, she needed closure about why things ended, so she confronted the guy, and while she felt like he left her, he thought she broke things off. Right now she’s in a position where she’s wondering if he wants to be with her. 

Anonymous got married in her late teens and has now been with her husband for 13 years.  Her marriage has been generally fine during this time and they have children with her husband.  She met a man from another country through work, who she was in charge of taking care off while he was in the country, and there’s a spark between them.  She hasn’t done anything with this man despite his advances and gifts, however, she does find herself feeling stimulated by him and this situation.  She’s wondering if this is infidelity and what she needs to do. 

Anonymous was in a relationship for 5 years until her partner ended things between them abruptly in December last year.  She’s struggling to get over him and they still communicate because of a business they work on together.  She’s not sure if he’s moved on yet, and she still has many questions