#AskAMan

Anonymous is in her mid-twenties and is currently dating a man who’s ten years older than her.  They met online and got to know each other really well as they were chatting a lot. Through this he was able to share that his mother is not well, dealing with a metal health issue. She’s since met his sister who is also dealing with a mental health issue.  He did reveal to her that he once went through a depression when he went through a tough time in his business which he lost. Times are tough in his family and he’s struggling with this, which has affected their relationship. 

Anonymous says her brother is the problem in her relationship. They don’t have parents and it’s just the two of them at home.  She has been with her partner for a while, they came into their relationship with children and she’s now pregnant with their first child.  Her partner wants to marry her but her brother is refusing, which is blocking the traditional processes they need to follow in order to get married.  This is now affecting her relationship with her partner, who’s not happy that they can’t be a family because of her brother. 

Anonymous met her husband back in 2014 and he was living abroad, for his studies and work. He moved back home as a result of the COVID pandemic.  She realised that he had actually been with other people during his time away but they were able to move forward from this.  Over the last few years he’s been working at a local tertiary institution and she says he’s been caught cheating with students and other people at the school multiple times. 

Anonymous has been with his partner for about two years now, he is in his late thirties and she is in her late thirties. She was a virgin when they met and they only got intimate after nine months in the relationship.  He thinks the fact that it took so long for them to start having sexual intercourse really affected him, and it actually did cause a rift in their relationship at the time.  She fell pregnant shortly after they started having sex, and this also affected their sexual relationship as they were not getting together anymore…

Anonymous is bisexual and has been with his female partner for about 4 years now.  They had some tough times in their relationship due to anonymous needing to deal with his past traumas, but they got through this.  Recently she started behaving a bit differently, he got suspicious, went through her phone and found that she was chatting to other guys even telling them that she’s not very serious about anonymous.  He doesn’t know how to feel about this and there’s also the matter of his sexuality

Anonymous and his partner have been together for about 10 years and they have three children, two children together and one from his partner’s previous relationship.  They both cheated in their relationship but forgave each other and moved forward with their relationship.  Recently they came back from a party and his partner’s friend came home with them and slept over in their house, the children weren’t there… While he was sexually busy with his partner, she suggested that they invite her friend, who was sleeping in another room, to join them in their bedroom. Anonymous said no to this suggestion…

Anonymous has been with his partner since about 2013 and they are now around 30 years of age.  Her partner found a job in another country and this seems to have affected their communication. She doesn’t answer his calls and when they do eventually speak she tells him that she’s busy.  Their relationship is now broken down and he doesn’t know what to do. They also adopted her sister’s child and that relationship is now in limbo. 

Anonymous has been with her partner for almost two years and says he’s been a good partner to her for the most part.  Throughout their relationship he’s been talking a lot about having children, however, she wasn’t ready. He recently revealed to her that he’s impregnated another lady, they ended things as a result. However, the other lady miscarried and he is now back, telling anonymous he wants to get back together, the pregnancy was a mistake…

Anonymous is in her late thirties and has one child. She’s been dating a guy on and off for about 10 years now, however, the guy has a girlfriend who he has two children with.  She was with someone else when she met him and ended up dropping that guy for this one who has a partner.  She was a side for many years but eventually gave him an ultimatum telling him to leave his main girlfriend for her but he never left the main.  She broke up with him but four months later the guy came back saying he had left his other girlfriend.  They are now dating again, however…

Anonymous met his wife in 2005, and they later got married after having a child in 2010. After getting married they started attending the same church, which is his church. There’s an elderly lady on the worship team at their church who stated that there’s a prophecy that anonymous would need to leave his wife for this lady’s daughter.  This information was shared with anonymous’ wife, but it was told to her as though it’s something that’s actually happening….

Anonymous is the eldest son in his family and only has sisters, and he’s now also married.  Her wife has deep Christian beliefs and his mother is a sangoma, so his family tends to follow Traditional African religion.  His younger sister has taken ill and his uncle suggested they visit a sangoma in Mozambique who could help his sister.  He told his wife about his intention to support his family in taking his sister to this sangoma but she didn’t take this well and said anonymous is now inviting other spirits into their home. 

You've heard the conversations on Metro FM for years... and now “Ask A Man” is coming to S3! Got a relationship dilemma? A situationship that's gone sideways? Mixed signals? Heartbreak? Or a question you've never had the courage to ask? Share your story and it could be featured on the TV show—all completely anonymous. Joining Khutso for more details is Video Entertainment Marketing Manager, Dichaba Phalatse.

Anonymous says when she met his partner he was clean and proper and was a great person towards her.  However, after a while of dating each other, they moved in together and this is when she realised certain aspects of his personality. She says he was always moody and wasn’t as fun as he used to be before.  As result of his behaviour, they agreed to continue with the relationship but live apart. He then moved out abruptly which took her by surprise.  She confronted him about his move and he told her that he moved because he no longer felt welcomed in her space, the talked through it and he has now moved back to their place…

Anonymous and her partner have been together for 5 years, she’s in her mid-twenties and he’s in his late twenties.  Her problem with him is that he doesn’t seem to want to work. He’s not interested in looking and he currently doesn’t work. He’s been this way since she’s been with him and when she asks him why he’s not working he has many excuses, including his spirituality.  She’s now broken up with him, however, he wants to get back together with her and she’s not sure if she should, because she does love him but worries about his lack of ambition.

Anonymous met a guy who lives in her complex mid-last year, they hit it off and started dating.  Around September last year they had a miscommunication and things became a bit tense between them. They never really spoke about what happened between them and their relationship just fizzled out from there.  Fast forward to this year, she needed closure about why things ended, so she confronted the guy, and while she felt like he left her, he thought she broke things off. Right now she’s in a position where she’s wondering if he wants to be with her. 

Anonymous got married in her late teens and has now been with her husband for 13 years.  Her marriage has been generally fine during this time and they have children with her husband.  She met a man from another country through work, who she was in charge of taking care off while he was in the country, and there’s a spark between them.  She hasn’t done anything with this man despite his advances and gifts, however, she does find herself feeling stimulated by him and this situation.  She’s wondering if this is infidelity and what she needs to do. 

Anonymous was in a relationship for 5 years until her partner ended things between them abruptly in December last year.  She’s struggling to get over him and they still communicate because of a business they work on together.  She’s not sure if he’s moved on yet, and she still has many questions 

Anonymous and her husband have been together for 16 years now, and for the most part their relationship was fine until he started gambling.  He became more distant, wasn’t present in their relationship and started defaulting on some of his financial responsibilities.  He got help to fix his gambling problem, but it didn’t seem to help and she feels like he didn’t really take it seriously and he returned to his gambling over and over again.  At some point he became suicidal, and she brought this to the attention of his family but they didn’t really help either.  He’s suggested that they get divorced in order to separate their assets but anonymous feels like she won’t re-marry him as he’s now a different man from the one she married….

Anonymous has been engaged to her fiancé for about four years and since then they’ve been living at her fiancé’s father’s home, as the father is late.  Her fiancé’s mother recently had a stroke and this led to anonymous and her fiancé needing to move in with his mother as he’s her only child.  Her fiancé’s job keeps him away from home a lot so she’s often at the mother’s house without him there. This has caused a rift between them as his fiancé’s mother alway complains about her and the things she’s doing in the household. She doesn’t address these things with her directly but will speak to her son about these things. 

Anonymous got a new job back in 2023 and started going on casual dates with the guy that actually hired her, and they ended up having a casual sexual relationship with guy no.1. They never really defined their relationship, and as a result anonymous was seeing other people and ended up sleeping with another man, guy no.2.  She then fell pregnant and thought it was definitely guy no.1’s child but after finding out that she’s pregnant, guy no.2 suspected it was his baby and it later turned out to be true.  She told guy no.1 about the paternity of her child, and to her surprise, he wasn’t moved by this and ended up helping anonymous through her pregnancy.

Anonymous is in a long distance relationship and says things took off quickly became serious between her and her partner.  Anonymous says in the beginning of the relationship she told her partner that she likes living life on the fast lane and her partner said she’s fine with that, quote, “she can stand the rain”. Ever since she lost her job, anonymous says,  her partner starting getting a bit cold and she wasn’t the same. There has now been situations where her partner would go out without really giving her much detail about her whereabouts and she finds this suspicious…

Anonymous has been with her partner for about 5 years now and says she was taking a break from relationships when she met him.  As a single mother, she was attracted to the guy because he was a single father living with his children. The relationship was going well and they became a blended family and moved in together with her children, while his children moved to live with their mother.  Her partner lost his job and they downscaled so her children moved back to the house that anonymous and her ex husband used to live in.  He was a bit of a party animal and would come back home in the early hours of the morning, she called him out on this and he stopped that behaviour.  They then had a conflict of sorts and he ended up sleeping over the mother of his children’s house...

Anonymous has been with her partner for about thirteen years and they have one child together.  Her partner has never really worked throughout their relationship and hasn’t had enough income to be financially supportive in their relationship.  He recently got inheritance and now wants to marry anonymous but she’s not sure she wants to get married to a man who she doesn’t believe will make something of his life.  He also wants them to move in to his family home, which is something she’s not keen to do. 

Anonymous met a guy last year who she vibed with and they had some really good times together.  He told her he really liked her and that he wanted to date her, but when she told him that she has a 90-day rule before she can get intimate with a guy she’s seeing, he ghosted her.  Months later they rekindled things again and this time she ended up sleeping with him, however, things got weird again between them.  She’s tried to move on from him, but he keeps reappearing in her life and she’s doesn’t know how get over her feelings for him.

Anonymous has been with her partner for about a year now and they moved in together about three months into the relationship.  She says her partner is not an open communicator and tends to give her the silent treatment every time they have conflicts, leaving her to be the one to break the ice.  She thinks he should be “manning” up and speaking up in these situations as that’s the kind of man she prefers to be with. She loves him and enjoys his warm character but doesn’t know if this the kind man she could marry one day.

Anonymous is in his late thirties and he’s currently in the process of getting divorced from his wife who he’s been with for about 18 years now.  Early on in their relationship they were in a long distance relationship and he cheated on his wife with another woman who he impregnated. Over the years his partner, who he also has child with, knew about the other child but wouldn’t really allow anonymous to have a relationship with the child he had with the other woman.  Fast forward a few years later, his wife cheated on him and this led to them separating.  During their separation, he met someone else who he ended up impregnating….

Anonymous broke up with the mother of her two children back in 2018 and as a result she moved away, with their two kids, to her home province.  They both found other partners and she even got married to someone else.  The mother of her children moved away with his car and he let it go because the car would assist her in transporting their children.  His worry now is that his ex’s husband is the one driving the car and it’s not even benefitting his children, he wonders if he should reclaim it from her or just let it go.

Anonymous and her partner have been together for about 8 years now, she’s in her mid thirties, he’s in his late thirties, they have two children together and she came into their relationship with one child.  They are both orphans and are responsible for their  siblings. She feels like her partner is having to sacrifice a lot in supporting his one brother…. The brother recently got into some trouble and….

Anonymous has been with her husband for about 10 years now and they have two children together.  Her husband got sick and the doctors at the hospital were not able to diagnose what the problem was, so he then opted for spiritual intervention and started visiting a sangoma, despite their staunch Christian background.  This made anonymous uneasy but she supported her husband in his quest to find healing.  She says he’s now behaving differently and spends a lot of time with this sangoma. She doesn’t understand why all of this is happening but suspects the sangoma told her husband that she is cheating. 

Anonymous met a guy in 2018 and they started dating four months later, which was in 2019.  When she met this guy, she was in a relationship that was falling apart and it eventually ended and she continued with the guy she met in 2018.  Early on in their relationship he confessed to her that he is in a long distance relationship with another woman who lives in another province. He initially said he’d leave the other woman but later on this woman fell pregnant with his child.  They were able to move on from this but their relationship has been weird and he has been offish towards her….

Anonymous has been with her partner for about a year now and she’s currently pregnant with their first child.  She feels like they haven’t been on the same page about the pregnancy or the future of their relationship. As a pregnant woman, he hasn’t been caring for her or giving her time and she’s currently in her third trimester.  She doesn’t know what to read into his behaviour. 

Anonymous has been in a relationship with her partner for about 3 years and says their relationship is great, and he ticks most of the boxes of what she’s looking for a in a partner.  The only issue she has with him is his behaviour in the bedroom, as she feels like he’s become sexually selfish.  It wasn’t always like this but lately he rushes through foreplay and doesn’t listen to what she wants and always wants them to do things his way in the bedroom. 

Anonymous has been single for about two years after getting out of a long-term relationship. She decided to be celibate after the breakup and has kept things that way until she started seeing her former high school crush.  Things were going well with this guy so and it ended up with her getting intimate with him and breaking her celibacy.  She now feels a bit weird about sleeping with him and understand why. She has also found out that he’s actually in a serious relationship with someone else. 

Anonymous has been with her partner for about 9 years now, and says things were generally fine between them until she found out last year that he actually has children from a previous relationship that he didn’t tell her about.  She was upset about this and confronted him, to which he responded by saying that she should be happy that he married her instead of the mother of his children.  She is now in the process of divorcing him, however, the people in her life are calling her out, saying she’s overreacting by divorcing him. 

Anonymous says he persued his current partner for about two years before they eventually started dating.  Their relationship was going well and she fell pregnant after they had agreed to have a baby together. His partner ended up aborting the baby as she was worried about how it would affect her mental health as she’s suffering from a mental condition. This frustrated anonymous….

Anonymous started dating her partner about three years ago and says her partner cheated on her, with his ex, early on in their relationship but they overcame this and moved on with their relationship.  She recently found texts on his phone to his friend where he was sharing with his friend about meeting up with another girl.  She confronted him about this and he said it’s not something that actually happened or that he went through with, he was just trying to impress his friends, who apparently thrive on that kind of behaviour.  She’s thinking of breaking up with him, but is not sure if thats the right choice. 

Anonymous was in a relationship with a lady last year and things were going until she confessed that she was actually in a relationship with an older man that she had previously claimed was her father.  She told anonymous that she was going to break things off with the guy but he’s not sure whether she ever really tried to break up with him.  Fast forward to this year, he found out that she is actually getting married to this other man, however, they hooked up the night before her lobola…

Anonymous has been with her partner for about 5 months now, they are both in their 30s, they have one child each, she lives with her child and he lives at his family home with his parents.  He often visits her place on weekends when they are both free and while this arrangement initially worked she feels like he’s become a major cost to her pocket. She brought this up and ask him to contribute a little more to her household but he didn’t like her request and it has resulted in him breaking up with her. 

Anonymous has been in an on and off relationship with her high school sweetheart for about 7 years now and they are currently separated. They’ve broken up for various reasons over the years, mostly because he keeps cheating on her with the same woman.  Anonymous and this guy live quite far from each other now, and every time she’s away from their home town (for school) he seems to be with this other woman.  She just wants to know if he really loves her or just likes having her around. 

Anonymous met her current partner while she was in varsity, while he was already working and had an established career.  When she was younger she was more interested in building her career in her twenties and then maybe building a family in her early thirties. However, her partner was really keen to get married and have children, something she wasn’t really keen for this early in her life but he was taking care of her and was really serious about her which she feels made her more open to the idea of settling down and building a family.  They now have an 8 month-old baby but he’s changed his tune and is no longer supporting her and their baby in the way he used to. 

Anonymous has been with a man she’s “in love” with for about three years now, and they are both in their 50s.  The relationship is going amazing, however, she has never been to his place and he always comes to his place. She has never met his family either and he never wants to go on extended vacations either. She brought this up and he said she must give him time to figure things out in his life. She’s wondering if she’s the only women in his life. 

Anonymous has been with his partner and the mother of his children for about 16 years now.  Things were generally fine between them until they had their first child in 2017, and says there was a rift between them and their families. They were able to get through all of that and even had their second child in 2021.  In 2023 he caught her cheating when he saw her kissing another man. She initially denied this but they ended up breaking up.  He moved out of their home and went back to his family home. Things fell apart in both their lives and he invited her to come stay at this family home with their children.