At Least Dad Did a Load of Washing... Her 9-Year-Old Said It Mid-Fight. That Was the Bar.

Have you ever made a deal with yourself at the end of a really bad week — that's it, I'm not doing it anymore, I'm only doing what he does — and then washed up three times by Tuesday without noticing? Have you ever bought him something mid-fight when you were supposed to be on strike? Have you ever lost it because your nine-year-old defended his dad by pointing out he did one load of washing, as if that was the bar?I couldn't stop thinking about a listener who did all three in one week. I texted a friend about her. I went for coffee and talked about her. I followed up to find out what happened. What she said next, I genuinely did not see coming.What we coverHave you ever declared you're done, you're not doing it anymore, and then found yourself doing it anyway — and genuinely not noticed until it was doneThe thing your body does mid-fight that looks like making up but isn't — and why it fires even when you're the one who's angryWhy your hands win the war three times before lunch — and the one-second move that interrupts itWhy the guilt fires when you stop, not when you're drowning — and what guilt is actually doing in your houseWhat your daughter learns watching a 40-year trained adult put something down — no speech neededThe slam tour — passive-aggressive cleaning, the self-cleaning oven moment, and what we're really hoping he'll seeWhy your body won't sleep even when everything is fine — and the scientific name for itThe question to ask yourself the next time your hands move before your brain does: am I doing this because I want to, or am I scared of what'll happen if I don'tFree resourcesHousehold Family Meeting Template — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/Energy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Paid resourcesADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/Related episodesEP81 — The Hidden Cost of Being the 'Good Girl' — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/the-hidden-cost-of-being-the-good-girl-how-the-mental-load-became-ours/S2 EP84 — Mum Rage Part 1 — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-84-i-love-my-family-but-im-so-fking-angry-mum-rage-part-1/S2 EP85 — Mum Rage Part 2 — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-85-real-tools-for-real-rage-mum-rage-part-2real-tools-for-real-rage-mum-rage-part-2/S4 EP1 — Who Am I If I Stop Being in Service — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/1-season-4-launch-who-am-i-if-i-stop-being-in-service-to-everyone-in-my-life/S3 EP35 — You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/S3 — Can't Sit Down Until Kitchen's Done — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/cant-sit-down-ktichen/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastReferences:Baumeister, R. F., Stillwell, A. M., & Heatherton, T. F. (1994). Guilt: An interpersonal approach. Psychological Bulletin, 115(2), 243–267.Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2007). A new look at habits and the habit–goal interface. Psychological Review, 114(4), 843–863.