Avoidant Attachment & Neurodivergence: When Closeness Triggers Overload Instead of Comfort

What if pulling away after connection isn’t so much about emotional unavailability but nervous system protection?In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. unpacks avoidant attachment styles through a neurodivergent lens, exploring why closeness can trigger overwhelm instead of comfort for people with ADHD and autism, especially those who were late diagnosed.You’ll learn how avoidant attachment develops as a survival strategy rooted in independence, how masking and delayed emotional processing intensify the need for space, and why neurodivergent adults often experience a “being seen overload” after moments of vulnerability. We also explore how avoidant and anxious attachment styles can unintentionally lock people into a push-pull cycle that leaves both partners dysregulated and misunderstood.This conversation reframes avoidance not as coldness or detachment, but as a learned nervous-system response and offers practical language for naming the need for space without creating rupture. If you’ve ever been labeled “too distant,” “too rigid,” or felt the urge to disappear after emotional closeness, or love someone who feels this way, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.