Avoidant Attachment / Anxious Attachment Cycle: Why It Hits Neurodivergent Nervous Systems So Hard

Ever been in a relationship that feels intense because one of you pulls away and the other feels compelled to move closer? Same, boo, same. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. breaks down the anxious–avoidant cycle through a neurodivergent lens, explaining why this dynamic can feel especially destabilizing for autistic, ADHD, and late-diagnosed adults.You’ll learn why avoidant withdrawal isn’t a lack of care, why anxious pursuit isn’t “too much,” and how sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, masking fatigue, and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) can supercharge this cycle. Instead of blaming communication styles, this episode reframes the anxious–avoidant pattern as a nervous-system mismatch and offers compassionate, practical ways to slow the spiral without forcing closeness or silence.If you’ve ever felt panicked by distance, overwhelmed by pursuit, or stuck in a push-pull dynamic you can’t seem to escape, this episode will help you understand what’s happening beneath the behavior and why neither side is broken or unlovable.Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!Book a Clarity Call with ReginaAbout Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhDRegina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.