Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of Backwards Star Galactica. I'm Jess McGrath, that's Fat Wabu. This is the show where we watch Battle Star Galactica for the first time, but in the reverse chronological order. And away we go.
Okay. Well, you know we took you, I don't know, fucking 75 episodes, but I think you're finally starting to get the hang of this. That was crispy. I won't take anything other than...
Yeah, there's some renewed, you said full of VIM and vigor. Yeah, what is VIM and vigor? I don't know, dog, I never heard nobody say that. We never heard VIM and vigor?
VIM? Yeah, and it's V-I-M? Correct. VIM and vigor, baby.
I think you made that up. It's right here on google.com. What did it say? Well, it's not exactly the result I wanted.
Okay. It's showing me the address of a building called VIM and vigor, Incorporated. Uh-huh. So far, so good.
I can't read the first word of the definition. I don't know how to say it. I'm going to say it wrong. Well, that's just because you can't read, friend.
That's probably just you. Do you know this word? E-B-U-L-L-I-E-N-T. What?
Uh-huh. Is it all again? Abulient? Yeah, you never heard that before?
Here, hold on. You want to say it? Abulient. It's abulient.
You got Cinequan known, queued up or what? Maybe another one a little louder? Yeah. Abulient.
There you go. I don't like this fucking pervert's voice at all. Nah, he does sound like he spent some time doing some bad, bad things. Welcome to the show.
Final Cut. This is Final Cut Pro. This is the final cut of Backward Stargolactica. Season two, episode eight, which means...
Fat Wabu, I don't know if you've been eating all the little morsels and playing with the little treats inside of your Backward Stargolactica advent calendar, but we are officially 20 episodes out. Mama! Oh yeah. Oh my god, our team on is 20.
Backward. Yeah. Begin the fucking countdown, baby. Holy shit.
This is unbelievable. I cannot wait till I'm free of this curse. You know what? We're going to finish this up.
We're going to go 10,000 years and then do whatever. Yeah. That was a good, good ref. I can remember even one more word of that quote.
No, I also don't know what you're talking about. I was doing the genie. Oh. Did he say 10,000 years in the lamp?
I don't know what. When he first pops out, so Aladdin whispers the lamp, he says, wish I may, wish I might have a genie. Right? Is that the story?
And then he gives it a little kiss. He gives it a little kiss on the lamp. And then genie kiss. He just slurps out like a liquid form.
Pours it out like tea. What I'm saying is so funny to me. Well, I guess it podcasts us for someone. Yeah, come here.
This is the show. We got some new characters. Deanna's camera op. Man, have you ever seen a guy that looked more like a camera operator?
Perfect casting. I think they might have just picked up off the actual crew. Yeah. No, for real?
For real. He didn't even look like he was supposed to be in a spaceship. Like, it looked like a regular, he kind of looked like you. That was a little bit of a wilder look.
You know who he looked like? He looked like the guy he plays the robot in how to bear good summer. He's a guy who tries to kill I-PATCH is a new character. Yeah.
What's his name? He don't have one, I don't think. He doesn't have one. He doesn't have one.
He doesn't have one. Go ahead. I handled this last time. Why don't you go ahead and give him one right now?
Caleb. Caleb. Yeah. That guy was a fucking Caleb if I ever seen one.
He did. Actually, that's pretty spot on. That dude did look like Caleb. Fucking Caleb.
Fucking Caleb. I never remember once met Caleb. I liked him. He did try and kill I-PATCH for a reason.
Yes. What was it? The premise of this episode is that would just happen. And now this guy is having PTSD and wants to kill I-PATCH for making him do that.
What book was he reading? Oh, no fucking clue what that was. I don't know what tipped her off. Don't even ask me again.
I guess we can talk about that later. He was reading some book and like Lucy Lawless spots it. Who's in this episode by the way? And that's like a big tip off.
Leaderboard. Yeah. I-PATCH is a fucking beast in this episode. Ooh.
Okay. He starts off what he like it's tricked into an interview like Lucy Lawless tries to get him licker it up for an interview and he fucking smashes the glass off the table. Shoves her out of the way. Loved it because she's the worst in this episode.
Later when the guy tries to kill him he fucking puts his head right after the gun. He's like do it. It was fucking tight. And then he snaps at Lucy Lawless again when he's like trying to pick Ellen off the floor.
Get out of my face. Yeah, no that was great. That was very good. I-PATCH was just a murderer of this episode.
And I've also given it to Adama for being a professional. Pretty professional the whole time. The premise of this episode is Lucy Lawless is making a documentary. And she's just, you know everyone's goddamn bit-knit all the time with her camera.
And the worst possible time she's so irritating. Not an-not a documentary. She's a reporter. Right.
Like a special- Special and special piece where they get all access to the- Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sure.
Shat List. But did not like Lucy Lawless or the camera operator. They're so fucking irritating. Yeah.
I mean I feel like that wasn't the purpose of that, but yeah. Yeah, but camera guy hated him. Did not like Lee at the beginning of the episode he talks down to Starbucks for not knowing poetry. They made him I guess better at the end because he's been pretty cra- pretty crappers.
Oh, God. Um, guys, obviously real Dweeb in this episode. The thing! It's such a funny, it's such a funny plot.
He does nothing of any consequence in this episode, but like he wants to be interviewed and so he but he wants to like it seemed like he doesn't want to be interviewed. Yeah. So he just kind of loiters around Lucy Lawless and she's like, oh, um, by his president, hey, what's up? And he's like, oh, hi, you must be the doctor.
But like he has a conversation with ghost guy before this where he's talking about how he wants to be interviewed. Right. So he's like not trying to seem but for no reason. He's so obvious too.
She's like, oh, we get it right now. He's like, well, I'm so busy. I'm just so busy. Some of things to do.
No, maybe I'm tomorrow. I'm sitting under snowed under snowed in or something. Yeah, exactly. He goes just standing around doing nothing.
Yeah. He says something in that moment so they finally interviewed him and then they like he as they're like packing up to leave, he's like no, no, no, stay, stay, you're probably you're probably safe. Is down here. And then he says you're as safe as houses down here?
What's that? I don't know what that means. What does that mean? You don't know what that means.
Sounds pretty civilians to me. Okay. I like that. Looney bird we got one.
Kat, whoa, mama. Oh yeah. Elise, of birds. I've never seen.
She freaks out of one scene. She thinks he's dead. She thinks everyone's dead. I don't understand why taking a bunch of pills turned her into a fucking raving lunatic.
I don't know how pills work really. Well, somebody does a lot of pills. I could tell you that that's exactly how they work. Oh, yeah.
Yeah pill bug for sure I can pill bug McGrath. Yeah, that's what they call me people are like oh, he's he's such a pill and like they don't mean it as an insult It's like it's my sixth street name. Oh dude. That's your say things are pillin.
Yeah, I'm always pillin, bro Oh fuck. Yeah, dude. I'm just right pillin right now straight pillin it in there like kind of pills I'm like do kind of pills am I not pillin it right now, dude? Life you ever heard about life pill?
Baby, I'm taking that limit list pill. I'm taking the red and the blue pill for Morpheus, baby taking them both Damn, it's got pills Crash them all out making a drink. You know, it's called pills nerd. Thank you Damn what you got boys shit list.
Hi patch. Sorry. Oh, yeah for all the reasons we want a leaderboard. He's a fucking animal I love it.
No, he's back. He also like this mission that went wrong that sparks this whole thing where they killed it Like it was his orders and we didn't know right But everyone is kind of like starbuck brings it up and like like everyone is kind of like yeah Colonel tied is like fucking off his shit. They talk about how he's an alcoholic, which I feel like that's a throwback towards the end Like we don't you know, he's drunk and every guy in the scene ever seen him in no everyone on the bow stars an alcoholic Yeah, but do you remember the like in the last in the first season we watched last season proper? They we actually saw a lot of scenes of like people shit faced like a whole painting scene with a dot like a lot of drunk I used to be the one that was shit faced all the time Yeah, so let's say he does a real fucking elkie boob with this where she pours him a glass of like nice scotch And then he's eyes get wide and he stares at it and then he like chugs it Yeah, just slams it and then flicks the fucking glass off the table when she asked a question So yeah, I don't think that he was he was too much for me.
I also give shit list to to fucking what's her name? Race track for being a pill daddy irresponsibly a pill daddy. I never never Leaderboard I'm gonna give to a dama Leader a good one. Yeah, he does a good one leaderboard.
I'm going to give to the fucking coolest guy Gata How fucking cool was he in this? Oh wait? I forgot about no, I forgot about the I brought him down to unreal Real cool guy Gata. Yeah, I heard it.
Yeah, they're doing like talking head interviews This I actually kind of liked how this episode was edited. I sort of thought it was an interesting like not Not as hard as this kind of a good episode it normally was and Gata sits down and he's got for his fucking like his like officer code on but it's like kind of unbuttoned You know so you could see the top-hop and and he's like smoking a cigarette for no fucking reason Unbelievable. I've never seen him smoking the show one time except for when he's being interviewed on camera Yeah, it's it's cuz she's like does that help with the stress? He's like no that takes a drag so fucking cool and then and then he we get to a portion where he Pulls his shirt off even further and he reveals to us.
She goes. What have you learned on this ship? He's like I learned this and this and this and this and he's like also learned that if you're gonna have ambrosia And then he pulls his shirt open and they're doing like a fucking jaguar tattoo on his Something no, I think it was a it's like a very my grandpa has almost a sip like an identical tattoo But on his forearms like fucking pop I got it. I think it's a military thing.
It's like some of it. Yeah Yeah, oh fuck it was so good. Yeah, so cool cool guy fucking gata Just let's fuck a guy alive. Oh, man.
She was a goddamn cucumber And then so he reveals it he goes you're gonna it don't hurt too much Yeah, and like kind of smirks and then he cough after he takes another pull this cigarette Yeah, fucking dork. Oh my god. What's guy alive? There's my pics take your ears put them into the air.
Tell me what's happening to them. They're being filled with a cool Liquid oh my goodness. It's like a light chief. You know like chief that weird gelatinous.
That's exactly what happened I poured some liquid like she into his ear This episode is sponsored by an ice cold glass of lemonade on a hot day. Wow pretty fucking specific Mmm. It is a hot day today and today. I had an ice cold glass of what you're dealing with over there What kind of tempos rose rosemary rosemary lemonade and it was Unfucking believable.
Hey nice. Hell yeah, dude on a hot day. Jesus fucking Christ. What's just going all the way in?
I'm I'm dead from it. I'm in a ghost this whole time. I baby. Yeah lemonade goes too hot here in God Am I and just it just takes all your troubles away?
Almost like a gene that you scooped out of a lamp Do you want to say that the line again about the genie or you get on? Oh, yeah, yeah, I had a good lemonade nose Just like a thousand lemonade So bad, this is like when we tried to do the Thor reference thing with Ina garden and couldn't figure out other things that For ever did except for my name is Thor and I killed a frost giant. It's cool It's cool that something that we do more than once is start references that we don't know how to finish Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, I gotta tell you I am not as hot to this as you are. What the fuck?
Yeah We we talking about so here's here's my thing under perfect conditions all fucks with this However, what you just described is like an artisanal lemonade. I feel like it's it's not a lot of times I get lemonade that's like way too sugary or like any store bought lemonade is kind of gross to me Okay, I have not talking about store bought lemonade. That's an important clarification. I'm talking about freshly squeezed lemonade Yeah, yeah, I I'm flexed with it I just know about like simply that but you know what I do have a real big boner for is Snapple pink lemonade.
Oh, I don't fuck with that either. I don't fuck with pink lemonade at all That's bad like what you named is like an artisanal like farmers market lemonade, which is fine Yeah, I'm talking about the dank lemonade, baby Do you have lemonade the chain restaurant in New York? I don't know. I don't think so There's I think it's a California thing, but it's just like a fast casual place called lemonade and it's pretty good But they have like a bunch of surprise bunch of fucking lemonades.
They have like a cucumber mint They have like a strawberry. They got all kinds of nank lemonades You know, I don't like those too much either like the I got bendy places where it's like oh we have I'm surprised I didn't know this about you. I don't know you were fucking freak. I don't I don't hate it I just feel like it's never cuz I'll tell you what you know, I love I love an Arnold Palmer like straight up I need I think because I have like shifted my palate in that way the rate the taste of regular lemonade It feels like too abrasive in my mouth.
I need the like the bitterness of the Little baby well, I have a complex palette. You're just rubbing fucking raw Oh my god, this is far too abrasive. Yeah, you're out there drinking You're so easily to defeat in a fight easy to fuck You're fucking but you're buying this dirt ass lemonade off of like out-of-season fucking girl scout cookie salesman Just trying to like make ends meet and they're skimping on some Hustle you gotta respect the hustle. I don't respect the hustle because you know their parents made that sign Which is even more sad because the E is backwards.
I don't think that's cute because I know she didn't make it okay If my parent drew me an e-backward sign. I'd be like why'd you write that fucking e-backwards. Let me ask you something What is the what is the age at which you would feel it inappropriate that a child would be selling lemonade? How old is a kid have to be where you think it's fucking creepy third grade?
No, that's old. What do you hold even third grade? Dude, I don't know anything. What grade is a 10 year old in 10 year old?
I feel like you're like a little bit older That's like almost fifth grade probably grade is a 10 year old in Fifth grade so I'm gonna say I'm gonna say third grade At the oldest yeah, that seems right that's eight years eight years old and I think you even that's even pushing it like if you're You're eight years old in third grade. Hold on. This is bananas to me. It doesn't sound correct Eight years old that can't be I think that sounds right because then if you go upwards right it's like Nine and fourth grade 10 and fifth grade 11 and sixth grade like 12 and seventh grade that sounds right to me Jesus Christ I was eight Anything I was out speaking to people just by myself.
They just let me go for hours at a time. Yeah, you know Yeah, dude, so you really just you stick them right the fucking school right away, huh? You gotta teach them I guess what the kids know it's basically daycare I remember I remember my teacher. I think elementary school kind of fucks I think middle school is where they it's just a holding self It's just they're just getting you do you think you learned anything in middle school or you think mostly they were just like You need to learn anything in any school.
Yeah, that's goes back to why you can't read or remember the genie speech from When it gets really from the bottle look listeners fellows friends residents of Phoenix Arizona I like to touch the sauce like I patch every now and then I had a little bit too much sauce last night So I'm struggling today, which is why I can't finish my sick all that in references Well, I love a nice artisanal glass of lemonade. I do not like it when there's seats floating around I was gonna talk about good lemonade, but I certainly don't like a minute made or bullshit That's my thing is that like when lemonade is good lemonade. It's good. It'll do I still want it with iced tea But I just don't I just don't it's not first of all.
It's not refreshing. It's like sour and sugary like why would that be refreshing? You sugary like you're I think you're just think another wrong lemonade No, I don't think good lemonade is sugary. There are three ingredients in lemonade.
I know that I know that I know that I know that water yeah My hands on oh No, thank you to Vincent's and offer you And then your head exploded into an alien's head Thank you for me lemonade all right. Yeah, just him from only me and you can you know, I don't even touch a lemonade this summer I'm talking about right now. My brain is not working. It is broken You heard me I'm gonna make some of iced tea and I'll drink as many as I fucking want.
No Anyways, you should I guess you should check for it in coming text. It's a bad one though. I'm just letting you know It's a bad one. All right.
Let's go because what's bad in heaven above. It's unfortunately city snacks I almost didn't get it because of how gross it is I can't understand what I'm looking at Ladies and gentlemen, we have you guessed it. Cheetos sweet o's eggs caramel. What is this?
These are these are Seals so like she's holding in one hand. He's holding what looks like a Cadbury egg in the other hand kind of looks like a Cadbury egg The egg itself is yellow. So like what is that? It's like a caramel egg and it looks like there's a it's a huge egg because there's a spoon in it So it's as big as a bowl And in his other hand by the way, Chester the chillo has bunny ears But still has his like maniac like his insane look that he has signature Cressi twist in the other hand.
Yeah, that's the product. What in the sweet fuck is this product? I just can't believe that chinos is like Easter's here. What should we do?
It's like maybe just keep selling chinos, right? Because that's what we get at. No one wants this because literally not a single person wants this. Nobody wanted this Nobody asked for this.
What do they look like inside? I can't tell what this fucking are they Are they oh my god? Is there chido? What part of this is the chido?
I'm just telling you I open the bag and the caramel smell is so strong Smells like I want those sweet o's egg now. Let me tell you one thing before you talk about what you think of this I could potentially see a world where I liked this because I am a big salty sweet guy I love the bugles there. I think I talked about this before that are half caramel half cheddar I don't think this is a sweetie salt or a sweetie salt. I think this is a sweet only I don't I don't think there's like cheese Go on Well, I'm trying to load up a trying to get a picture for you This is oh he's also sitting in a he's coming out of an egg.
Did you see that? Yeah, it's gonna get a live egg Okay, so it looks like a cinnamon twist from from Taco Bell. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's a puff So it doesn't have quite the crunch of a but the chinos are puffed too, right?
But I feel like it's airier than a cheetah. Yeah, yeah standard cheetah is kind of like um It's got more of a crunch to it. This is like what is it? Is it corn?
This is like a cheese. Yeah, this is corn Yeah, it's like it's real lay. I feel like they only wish corn meal. Yeah.
Oh boy. Wilder. These are good I believe it. I believe it.
I like a line like a nice light crunch. Oh my god. They're good Evan for real. Let me ask you this question though.
Has cheetos ever let us down? Oh great question. Cheetos a little undefeated Loki I think kind of have a fucking lot. I mean I I do not like cheese poofs very much like generic like those target You can get them at or at staples and there's like a bajillion of them in a container.
Those are fucking gross I don't mind a cheetah and I you know I love a flamin' hot cheetah Yeah, and this is interesting because I don't see cheetos as like a risk taker in the game. You know, they're not like you're not like uh Lays like regular which is always coming out with like we got, you know baked beans. I'm looking at the list of cheetos products right now And baby baby Chester is all over the fucking place right now. Oh, okay So I'm wrong great.
It's like they get crazier every single one of them. Holy, but this is the table full stage Oh, no, this is real first of all the cheetos website is out of this world. Okay The banner is a real life Chester the cheetah like a guy in a costume Not to be laying out on a couch with his big shoes. Oh, yeah sure now Let me just fire off some of these cheetos products for you cheetos puffs souffle's white chetered blanc.
We also got crunchy Um, what is this word? Funchie crunchy croquant God, what is happening today crunchy croquant? Is it like a croquant? It is a CRO QU-A-T Okay, I gotta hit the cheat site while you're doing this sweet chili something spice Oh, is that just in Spanish underneath?
Oh, they have a chipotle ranch flavor. Yes, Bob. They got Um, they got bag of bones so that we got bag of bones. What does that mean?
She does this off the rail They're all shaped like little bones. They got so there's a but there's multiple crunchy croquants Oh, I get it. Cruck want is crunchy in another language. Oh, got it.
Oh, so she goes crunchy. That's a type of cheeto interesting Damn, jim how that man. Yo, damn dude. I'm these.
I just kind of just got hit with a lot of respect. Also, hold on Why am I looking at Ontario? Oh, you're in the actual world different. That's why it was like dot c-a I'm looking at the free delay dot com slash and access products and I'm not seeing any of that That's why you're seeing fucking French.
How dare they list the first result as being the Canadian cheetos site They have a product called flavor shots flaming hot asteroids, which is like they look like fucking they look like uh They look like captain crunchberries, but fucking molten red. Here we go. Now. I got the american ones No more croquants here.
Yeah, I didn't know what the hell you were saying flavor shot asteroids Fuck Those are you know those are meant for tossing across the room and the mouth of your buddy big time big time And then you catching your side and then you eat it and it's fucking molten lava and it burns your face off and you were punished for your Yo, look at this thing. They got down. Oh, they got a collab with three those dynamite. Do you know meet that?
You want a different country's website again or what? Got oh, they're like talkies Fuck dude. I never just realized how much respect I want I need to put on two dozen sorry fuck me running I can't stop eating these caramel cheetos. What is my life?
God damn brother? I'm gonna buy a magazine ship them to you I can't these are tasty treat. This is unbelievable. I'm out of my mind right now.
This is this is blow my mind It's so good. Is it sweet? It is sweet. Is it like would you eat this as a dessert?
Would you eat this as a snack? That's a great question. I don't know when I'm eating this I don't know because I'm telling you where it's not in it public. I'm never gonna eat these in public You can't you have to be you got a hot dog.
You know like trail mix That's not really trail mix because it has like M&Ms and fucking like pea It's just like M&Ms and peanuts and like you know any scenario in which I would eat that I think I would eat this because it's like But are they sweet? Are they savory at all? They're not savory at all except for the fact that it's made with corn so I think that my brain is telling me it's savory even though it's not It doesn't taste I mean it tastes like something if you serve this to me at Taco Bell I would be like okay sure like it doesn't It has a distinct caramel taste. It's sweet.
Is it some cheer than a T-bel cinnamon twist? No, it's a little bit airier than a T-bel cinnamon twist? And it's also it's not as much of a mess. I feel like the cinnamon twists are like coated and so it's like big time I'm getting sprinkles all over me.
This is like a pretty cinnamon twist to me are just pure air Maybe then these are comparable I guess I haven't had this in a while the taste of this is closer to Taco Bell's caramel apple and not I have not had that product Oh, it's fucking so good. You gotta get on it friend. There's no you see Chester He's looking out for our health too. He's got some baked dude shouts to you Chester It's just like a real quiet killer.
It's like a it's kind of like oh compare to Snickers. It's just crazy Well shit goddamn is that in fact the greatest city snack? It's gotta be partially because like what a surprise I really was going into this thinking like this may be the worst This is one of the most heinous things that I've ever even slayed eyes on well There's so many words on the bag. Yeah, it's just and you know what's crazy I this product that I'm eating is not listed on the website Where'd you get it?
Do you think it's real Cheetos? Where I get all of my city snacks, baby a fucking random Bodega god the bag is kind of holographic like the gold parts have like kind of a shine to him Can we talk about this picture that's on the top of the product website with Chester sitting in front of his like his line up a snacks looking like a mother fucking badass? You know bars on guitar. I don't realize how much I respect she doesn't till right now I never I never think like oh I want Cheetos, you know like I often will be like oh I would like some pretzels with my sandwich Or like oh I would like some some jalapenos and like you know kettle cooked jalapeno, but just a just a Cheeto Good job.
Just always there a rock true rock in the snack really really I like the um the flamin hot with lying Then you become a serial killer after you eat Extra flamin hot I wouldn't dare I love my butthole too much wait flamin hot's already pretty spicy a that was surprisingly good goddamn You got you got any last quick hits for this here television program? Damn your 40 minutes in two because I got one okay. Well why you why you go? Go tell me we almost get a peek at big fat leaves big fat dick.
Yeah, we do Real easy as with it. He like he's only an Italian lowers it to like right around the area. Yeah, that's it That's all mine. It's my only quick hit.
Okay, sure this must have been the episode where it's revealed that Deanna's asylum Right. Oh, I think so because at the end it's like peek-a-boo. It's me This is another one that it's like fuck I watched a show on purpose or the right way It would have been pretty tight that's like kind of like an interesting episode than big ass Reveal at the end like I understood everything that happened, but I don't understand how we got there or where we're going You know what I mean? No, not even a little bit Well, we we should go so that I can eat the rest of these sweet Cheos.
I'm pissing those are good. I want I was like one There's so surprisingly tasty anyways, thanks to Adam Faye for the art. Yo Adam Faye's sketch on Instagram. I feel like we should like Give him a shout to his own.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Todd doesn't that Todd doesn't like rap music regularly But but Faye is drawing all the time and all of it is so he's a really fucking dead artist And um, thanks. You should leave us a five-star iTunes review where you talk about how good his art is Yeah, that's the way to get him to write a review trick him into writing about something that is good Yeah, man the art and like not the show right.
Thank you to the residents of Phoenix, Arizona Oh, as always the ex big ex don't give it to you And um, and um, thank you lemonade only from me. Thank you. Most of all