baddie book club: rejecting perfection, break-ups, gap year, failure & success episode artwork

EPISODE · Feb 15, 2026 · 51 MIN

baddie book club: rejecting perfection, break-ups, gap year, failure & success

from Friend Crush with Amber Akilla

Recording of the second discussion group for part 1 of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden ~ Baddie Book Club! We discuss reflecting on times where we've noticed we've had low self-esteem, dealing with uncertainty that comes with transition periods after break-ups and during gap years, having self-compassion for your former self, how to integrate "failure" into our definition of success and more! join the Patreon to join the next discussion sessions! patreon.com/amberakilla The Six Pillars of Self Esteem (affiliate link*) https://amzn.to/496J0SD follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exercises https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completion00:0001:30 - knowing you deserve to be happy/ dealing with triggers02:46 - integration vs healing04:32 - distinction between mind and body, managing over-thinking05:52 - being ok with not knowing06:35 - whimsy and rejecting perfection07:34 - illusion that everything has to be ‘good’08:20 - how low-self esteem translates into how you live your life - gap year: freedom vs uncertainty09:15 - absence of community after school10:16 - enjoying who you are as a person11:25 - dance & yoga14:57 - work and self-worth17:05 - protecting and prioritising joy19:40 - self-esteem and love, not feeling loveable22:13 - people with high self-esteem do not stay with partners who don’t treat them well24:08 - self-esteem and knowing you don’t have to tolerate poor treatment24:45 - childhood experiences that condition us to accept or normalise poor treatment25:40 - remembering when you were able to walk away26:49 - doing the best with the information you had at the time27:00 - the illusion of “this time will be different”27:27 - processing breakups28:10 - self-compassion for your former self29:58 - you are not alone30:40 - looking forward to an abundant life31:44 - accepting accountability - seeing dynamics as neutral and avoiding fixation on context33:14 - distinguishing accountability from blame34:20 - how time changes your perspective - one day it will mean something different35:38 - “failure” is part of success36:55 - how you learn and integrate “failure”37:20 - self efficacy and self respect 38:10 - being to see your progress and improvement39:12 - knowing when to get off the wrong train41:08 - you never fail, you win or you learn41:28 - unquantifiable success and growth43:00 - relationship with time, responsibility and purpose - being present45:14 - being on the hamster wheel45:20 - delayed gratification, pushing yourself vs punishing yourself49:55 - your relationship to your circumstances51:11 - the immune system of consciousness

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baddie book club: rejecting perfection, break-ups, gap year, failure & success

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