Friend Crush with Amber Akilla

youtube video: https://youtu.be/_rVMkThrBawthere aren’t enough words in the english dictionary to describe women who are living their best life and have healthy boundaries. we always have to reclaim language that has previously been used to disempower or judge women. anytime a woman makes herself less available for other people so that she can focus on herself and her own needs, she is labelled ‘selfish’… is she selfish or did she decide to gracefully pull back or exit a dynamic that took more from her than she recieved ????? to me this is not a moral issues because people have the right to be selfish and to indulge in other people’s selfishness, but on the flip side, people also have the right to walk away when it doesn’t work for them anymore. entitlement to one way extraction will not be tolerated! either deal with it, increase your contribution/what you have to offer or find someone else with lower standards.sign up for gossip & updates + discount code for merch drop!friendcrush.club00:00 - 03:25 - intro03:25 - 10:34 - sovereignty vs selfishness 10:34 - 13:15 - when sovereignty is mistaken for selfishness13:15 - 14:15 - when you are the selfish one14:15 - 17:20 - sovereignty & meeting your own needs, being hot & having fun17:20 -18:54 - non-negotiable hobbies18:54 - 19:11 - do you want to be right or do you want to be hot & having fun19:11 - 23:55 - fear of being perceived/seen23:55 -24:40 - redirecting your time, energy & attention24:40 - 25:34 - the bullsh*t never ends25:34 - as you change, so does your experience of existing relationships☆

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/YtpeBQxoROowhen you think you'll never be in a toxic relationship/friendship/job again and you walk away from one and into another ... lmao00:00 intro01:06 - empty space is unnatural and nature will find a way to fill it01:42 - acknowledging that you are weak in order to become strong03:09 - flop and slay coexist04:09 - its not just the goal its also the management of the consequences that come with achieving it04:41 - how assumptions create blind spots05:42 - psychological audit06:29 - anxiety vs self-trust07:10 - notice when you are filing in gaps for space that only time & experience can fill08:12 - empower yourself in your decision making08:26 - seeking win-win relationships08:53 - learning to sit with disappointment and move on instead of ruminating10:58 - getting out of toxic dynamics11:55 - non-negotiable hobbies & trying new things13:10 - confronting & integrating pain vs running or avoiding it13:51 - circumstantial change vs spiritual transformation14:21 - you need a different approach if you want a different outcome14:58 - actions speak louder than words!!!15:15 - e.g. when an ex reaches out16:44 - act according to the outcome that you want16:57 - not responding is a response17:04 - the person who cares the least, wins18:16 - it doesn’t always feel toxic at first18:53 - learning to self-regulate and pace connection19:09 - being open to being proven wrong and trusting yourself to make difficult decisions19:23 - always have something that you care about protecting that is your responsibility to maintain19:41 - optimize to enjoy your life to the fullest20:03 - learn to enjoy the challenge of protecting what you care about20:21 - when you try and evade responsibility, you open yourself up to chaos21:07 - learning to notice guilt & shame and observing rather than repressing or avoiding23:00 - being honest with yourself when you cbf something and moving on23:42 - when are you pursuing something from a place of ego vs real compatibility 24:28 - everyone’s needs are different25:54 - the WILL to extend yourself

youtube video: https://youtu.be/Y9iQ_MYCIGUnever let a flop go to waste!!!!!Hegel said that negativity is precisely what keeps existence alive. Not negativity in a psychological sense, but in a philosophical sense. You don't know what positivity is without negativity. If you only had the power to do things, you would lose the ability to not do things and rest. If you only think, then your thoughts continuously scatter and you lose the ability to reflect and contemplate. If you only slay then you are at risk of burnout and it would eventually become meaningless without the contrast of flop to anchor your slay. Friction, resistance and pain are necessary to indicate the possibilities of growth. Overly focusing on them can create the risk of unnecessary suffering. Practicing bringing awareness and intention to sovereign decision making is how we start to navigate the inevitable oscillation between flop and slay in a way that facilitates Being Hot & Having Fun!!! yayayayaa(ref: The Burnout Society by Byung-Chul Han)The Burnout Society by Byung-Chul Hanhttps://amzn.to/4xxaHy3 (affiliate link)00:00 - 00:54 - intro00:54 - 01:34 - in flop there is slay, in slay there is flop01:34 - 02:21 - what have you been conditioned to optimize your life for02:21 - 03:27 - the hidden cost of maximizing efficiency 03:27 - 04:49 - be selective & specific about the types of challenges you are open to04:49 - 07:01 - flopping is a training opportunity07:01 - 08:25 - life happens in cycles08:25 - 09:51 - maybe you haven’t flopped enough yet09:51 - 12:26 - welcoming challenges as growth opportunities12:26 - flop and slay is a spectrum not a binary12:57 - social media - monitoring spirit behaviour & cancel culture purity tests13:38 - entertainment & education14:39 - hate can’t land if you’re a moving target15:11 - which flop is your responsibility16:54 - increase your surface area for slay18:47 - lean into minor inconveniences23:18 - using conflict as a training opportunity24:25 - adjust your approach according to what’s at stake26:12 - controlled and intentional crash outs27:29 - knowing what you don’t like is just as important29:03 - once you’ve been through the flop you don’t even want to think about it29:24 - have a sense of humour follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0ShM2LgCVREsome thoughts on over-thinking and rumination and how i turned my depression around!!! something that i didn't mention was to challenge myself to become more solution driven in my thinking - which was kind of the catalyst for my podcast and content! i thought, if i'm going to overthink about things then i may as well try to be coherent and in a way that could help other people. in the process i have been able to develop and evolve my thinking and my life in a way that wouldn't have been possible had i just stayed stagnant and in a mental spiral. rather than becoming over-identified with my diagnosis, i thought about it as a problem to solve/a lifestyle approach that needed adjusting in order to minimize symptoms and notice when i might be more vulnerable to unhealthy thought patterns and behaviours. break the loop!!! stop it from getting ahead of you!!! there are lots of other thoughts i can probably share in future but here is a start ~ feel free to share your own experience and tips in the comments!!!

i think it's called meta-cognition when you observe your internal relationships to external things... the relationship between self and object, rather than the object itself. i'm not denying the realities of oppressive systems and real harm, more like how you might be able to navigate them from a more empowered place so you can be hot & have fun in a way that makes sense to you!!! ~~ as always, please share your thoughts!00:00 - intro03:17 - it’s not the thing itself, it’s your relationship to the thing04:18 - being hot & having fun04:34 - connotative vs denotative interpretation05:40 - how you perceive reality is specific to you06:27 - adjust and redefine06:51 - your identity is dynamic07:10 - superficial change vs spiritual growth07:32 - your personality is the sum of your habits08:01 - performative slay08:25 - radical acceptance09:03 - optimising for FUN and EFFECTIVENESS09:24 - doing a mental audit09:48 - avoid defaulting to binary mental traps10:09 - redefining your relationship to money11:56 - redefining your relationship to love12:53 - suspend your moral framework of unmet expectations = bad14:37 - appreciating life beyond just what you can perceive15:18 - redefining your relationship to power15:41 - sidenote: virtuous suffering16:28 - SPEAK TO THE MANAGER WITHIN17:08 - the willingness to seek and create win-win dynamics18:31 - diffuse your awareness and observe before assuming you have to double down on a position19:32 - changing your relationship to beauty22:39 diversify your sources of validation22:51 - the skills to look hot vs cultivate self-respect are different23:23 - notice and manage your human desire for silver bullet solutions23:57 - embrace the process of trial and error to accumulate experience24:26 - the fear of flop/failure is often worse than the flop itself24:59 - the most sustainable and rewarding growth takes time and usually isnt glamorous25:30 - redefining your relationship to your emotions26:21 - associating discomfort with growth rather than failure26:32 - redefining your relationship with your identity/identity markers27:06 oppositional identity, “counterwill” and oppositional defiant disorder28:05 - people will love & hate you whether you enjoy your life or not so focus on figuring out how to enjoy it28:43 - redefining your relationship to restreferences:patriarchy and power: how socialisation underpins abusive behaviourPsychological drivers of gender disparities in leadership pathswhat underlies a teen oppositional defiant disorder diagnosis books (affiliate links)The Tao of Physics by Fritijof CapraThe Road Less Travelled by M Scott Peckall about love by bell hooksThe Beauty Myth by Naomi WolfWays of Seeing by John Berger

some thoughts on how my relationship with my hometown and childhood trauma has changed over time for anyone that might be or has struggled with something similar. its not where you're from, but your relationship to the place, the memory and the role it plays in your life that matters. let me know your thoughts too! ♡follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/i’m on substack!!!https://substack.com/@amberakillasubscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! $3 a month, 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillaslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionsiren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2autumn in my arms playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://substack.com/@amberakilla/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/Jer_eAG1q1severyone is creating, everyone is creative!!! your desire to create is valid whether you pursue it as a hobby, side-quest, side-hustle or a career! one creative skill might take many forms in different stages of your life. sharing my thoughts and observations based on my own personal experience on how you can explore, refine and navigate your creativity, your career and the creative industry. i think even if you don't work in the creative industry this same model can apply to different disciplines too.00:0000:58 - being creative is inherent to the human experience03:50 - intro to quadrant diagram04:47 - high visibility x creative freedom05:19 - industry x high visibility05:32 - industry x low visibility 06:20 - creative freedom x low visibility 06:46 - pedestaling of high visibility x industry careers07:48 - get to know yourself before assuming there is only one version of success09:25 - mapping the terrain and navigating accordingly09:59 - pros & cons to every quadrants10:05 - high visibility x industry11:05 - industry x low visibility 12:13 - creative freedom x low visibility 13:09 - high visibility x creative freedom14:28 - advice for young/aspiring creatives15:36 - now is the best time to flop16:49 - the challenge and the process has to become as rewarding as the outcome17:46 - taste makers vs trend followers19:00 - try different approaches, embrace different opportunities21:38 - focus on doing before refining strategy 22:24 - you should be creating more than you are complaining22:55 - being hot & having fun creative philosophy24:04 - proof of concept, get experience25:29 - learn how to communicate and present your work

this week’s video is a deeper dive into the first pillar of self-esteem - the practice of living consciously!The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Brandenhttps://amzn.to/496J0SD (*) affiliate linkBaddie Book Club detailspatreon.com/amberakilla00:0001:44 - the first pillar of self-esteem04:42 - bringing awareness to our internal world07:32 - the practice of living consciously08:55 - radical self-acceptance for the human condition09:13 - you are the creator09:38 - being responsible towards reality10:23 - self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves10:40 - your opinion of yourself is more important than other people’s opinion of you11:45 - living consciously to overcome cringe12:25 - dealing with shame around envy and judgement12:43 - acting on what one sees and knows13:14 - creating mental space for your own unhingedness14:11 - being in the state appropriate to what you are doing14:57 - your purposes and values dictate the standard of selection16:00 - living responsibly towards reality16:10 - wishes, fears and denials do not alter facts17:57 - using your feelings to point to important facts rather than confusing feelings with facts18:19 - changing your relationship with your emotions19:04 - jealousy in friendships case study20:47 - alchemising jealousy into inspiration21:32 - what you perceive, what you interpret it to mean, how you feel about it23:41 - fear and pain being treated as signals23:51 - the earnest intention to be conscious23:54 - adjusting your actions to your goals24:18 - my first loyalty is to truth, not to making myself right24:24 - a lifelong commitment to learning24:38 - the willingness to create win-win relationships25:37 - a desire to understand our full context26:58 - internal and external awareness are two different skill sets28:34 - when you reach an impasse and need a guide30:12 - who is defining “being hot & having fun” in your life?30:48 - do i know what i’m doing when i like myself vs when i don’t?31:06 - give yourself the opportunity to notice32:33 - i have to think that the practice is worthwhile34:59 - which actions are producing desired results and which aren’t?35:32 - notice what’s exciting vs what’s draining36:23 - accept that other people’s interpretation of reality could be different to yours37:22 - your values come from your experience, you can mistakenly draw irrational conclusions from your experience38:54 - sidenote on addictions40:48 - consciousness and the body41:42 - train yourself to notice your thoughts41:12 - freeing the body contributes to freeing the mind44:22 - an orientation towards life that exists on a continuum45:24 - looking to where pain and frustrations are46:13 - garden analogy

very delayed upload of the last baddie book club discussion session!!!i needed to optimise the audio - apologies for some of the echo but i still felt like it was important to share because so many insights were shared!! thank you to the baddies that attended and bravely shared their thoughts.based on this section of the book:Readings 2: Living Consciously and Self-AcceptanceReading: Part II Internal Sources of Self-EsteemThe Focus On ActionThe Practice of Living ConsciouslyThe Practice of Self-Acceptancepages 56 - 104there’s a few scheduled sessions left over april - details are on the patreon!00:0002:36 - the virtue of realism - respect of reality03:26 - shadow work04:00 - dealing with uncomfortable feelings04:48 - your reputation with yourself05:52 - substance abuse07:13 - everywhere you go, there you are07:40 - emphasis on action08:16 - breaking the ruminating cycle08:57 - friend breakups, jealousy between girls11:12 - realising your growth12:19 - what i perceive, what i interpret it to mean, how i feel about it13:14 - fear of pain13:30 - just do it !14:16 - avoiding discomfort is a betrayal of the mind14:32 - life is just a series of problems18:03 - treating life like a mirror19:26 - the world belongs to those who persevere 20:46 - how time changes your relationship to events21:45 - journalling23:10 - being there for yourself24:20 - relationships as a mirror24:54 - life as an experiment - journal as field notes25:57 - you don’t need to spend money to develop your relationship with yourself29:28 - journalling allowing you to take things less personally32:41 - giving other people the grace you would like from others34:48 - confidence as a practice36:17 - you can’t help other people until you help yourself36:50 - the importance of self-work for community and social justice42:10 - maintaining openness, value in the attempt44:50 - self-trust, making promises to yourself and keeping them48:34 - taking feedback and reviewing50:10 - basic things can be hard but important for your well-being!!!51:30 - being your own bestie - what you can keep to yourself, re-parenting yourself

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/ndawrsGy3F4please share how your journey with creating/consuming/compensated and participating has or is evolving!!!0:0001:27 - define the terms/auditing your consumption habits - consumer, creator, compensated, participant03:13 - define being hot & having fun according to your core values04:04 - check for energy leaks04:25 - doing things with budget restrictions to build discipline06:57 - becoming aware of consumerism conditioning07:11 - where can you be more creative or be open to learning07:32 - bringing intention to the way you consume09:07- get in tune with how you feel and your level of contentment09:47 - not all hobbies need to be monetised10:14 - how do you spend your time, energy & money10:30 - no one is safe from the attention economy10:59 - staying informed without getting overwhelmed11:37 - flexible framework vs strict rules11:47 - diversifying dopamine triggers12:27 - finding a balance between online & offline life12:45 - purchasing for utility vs branding17:00 - when flopping in creating is better than slaying in consuming18:38 - the oveconsumption to hater pipeline18:56 - the motivations & intentions behind your relationshipsfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/i’m on substack!!!https://substack.com/@amberakillasubscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! $3 a month, 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillaslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionhttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://substack.com/@amberakilla/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

recording of a tiktok/youtube live on 24.02.2026 !video version: https://youtu.be/xIduRHUSvUM00:00 - recent obsessions02:00 - being a woman in corporate07:15 - dealing with insecure/intimidated women08:03 - navigating a flop era10:22 - current fave beauty products11:56 - not taking things personally/detachment 14:56 - talking stages15:45 - freelancing17:26 - somatic exercises17:51 - comparing yourself on social media18:53 - draining family members19:51 - guy not following up on dates20:06 - being consistent with hobbies21:35 - financial flop era22:31 - getting new hobbies23:01 - putting pressure on yourself24:06 - pivoting from corporate25:20 - visiting perth27:50 - making friends31:24 - asmr & vlogging36:00 - shrek gate46:25 - the emotional spiral, win-win relationships, navigating spaces as a minority 48:13 - women being held to higher moral standards than men48:40 - identifying problems vs creating solutions50:30 - misidentifying issues52:55 - dating when you’re young54:00 - ramadan in shanghai56:26 - when to start dating again57:27 - gender imbalance in china58:30 - ego death??? re-constructing your identity1:00:00 - gender binary and performance of gender in china1:02:00 - reading1:03:00 - pole schedule1:04:00 - post-shrek gate1:09:00 - provider men, going 50/501:13:00 - women benefitting from patriarchy, being hot & having fun, living life to your full potential1:16:00 - analysis paralysis, learning from failure1:17:00 - men and red pill 1:17:20 - the tragedy of heterosexuality by jane ward1:19:58 - passive aggressive behaviour 1:20:16 - gay relationship dynamics1:22:20 - smear campaigns, sh*t talking1:24:20 - don’t confront passive agressive behaviour1:27:18 - i support women’s rights and wrongs1:29:00 - women defending shrek1:35:00 - marginisation in the dominant group1:37:15 - the illusion of binary options1:39:26 - loser mindset with winner entitlement1:41:45 - media literacy1:42:30 - de-centering men, pick-mes, male-centered men1:44:35 - beyond right and wrong1:45:00 - live by example1:47:07 - cognitive offloading1:47:27 - how to make the most authentic decision for you1:48:35 - men aren’t riding for female characters1:49:00 - boundaries around social media

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/bJ1Ow4RFuW4the irony of me filming this a week before that sh*k video oop at least you know i practice what i preach heheyou life and your journey is for you to own. other people can disagree and say you're problematic but even then, no one is going to be strong-armed into a better version of themselves. even the most problematic people from your point of view need space to evolve and work through being a product of their environment and conditioning so they can take accountability and choose to change. doesn't mean its my or your responsibility to hold their hand through it, its just that arguing usually exacerbates a problem more than it provides a resolve. do you want to be right or happy???00:0001:37 - define the terms01:43 - never argue with a MAN for free03:00 - what is love04:23 - love exists as an action - separate to the culture of romance05:10 - ‘never’05:38 - ‘free’06:31 - ‘argue’ - argument vs conversation07:58 - types of communicationdiscourse, dialogue, debate, diatribe09:14 - engaging in bad faith10:41 - value12:41 - walking away or changing the dynamic13:25 - argument loop13:56 - let them yap14:10 - how to get out of an argument with your dignity in tact15:03 - break the pattern today or the loop will continue tomorrow15:42 - habit stacking16:03 - changing response to triggers16:43 - don't underestimate how important your validation is to other people15:57 - people treat you with the grace they treat themselves19:06 - fight or flight activation19:46 - witholding your response20:25 - being demure and mindful but not defensive21:38 - hypocognition23:06 - bracketing23:53 - accept that some relationships are just limited25:29 - you are not responsible for changing other people’s perception of reality if they aren’t ready26:39 - reclaim and redirect your energy27:57 - represent yourself rather than waiting for permission28:35 - presenting something vs arguing about it29:02 - trying to present new ideas/perspectives30:43 - when they start a fight with you because they can’t handle their reaction to what you said30:57 - when arguing might be beneficial32:00 - when i might care what people think33:47 - daily affirmations34:17 - make sure you have a life34:25 - pre-training so when you are triggered you are less likley to take the bait

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0doV1ZWLOKMpart two of the 2020 Love, Lust & Loathing Q&A!! thank you for your patience ~ make sure to watch the first video on limerence too!00:0000:10 - navigating female friendships when decentering romance03:23 - maintaining sovereignty while dating06:54 - my perspective on romantic love and pressures to settle down or be in a relationship11:30 - how to stop being envious of other people in relationships12:12 - age gap relationships13:01 - work crushes and asking men out14:32 - seeing potential in men16:15 - detaching from nostalgia for a first love17:43 - decentering men while being in a relationship19:06 - men that are financially dependent on women23:03 - casual hookupsrelated videos:how to lock-in so hard your crush dies (metaphorically)https://youtu.be/rOtI0i13dIApick me seed: internalised misogyny, patriarchy, decentering menhttps://youtu.be/gGVt7vpxX28hot girl habitshttps://youtu.be/DszRCbx0_AEwhat is lovehttps://youtu.be/mqu4RRzr2ooincreasing your baselinehttps://youtu.be/iwT59y8LWfErelationships are transactionalhttps://youtu.be/e4hrPViYKK8hot girl habitshttps://youtu.be/DszRCbx0_AEnon negotiable hobbyhttps://youtu.be/XlStSk0b4KIhttps://youtu.be/jKVo3bGoyxgpeople pleasinghttps://youtu.be/0a0SFegK0QUhttps://youtu.be/tuCg_2muajYhook up culturehttps://youtu.be/ZlWzGbWpeJIboundaries, friends with benefitshttps://youtu.be/cU7Fr7DNEz4flirting & crusheshttps://youtu.be/i-Mx2bPt1-obooks (affiliate links):The Road Less Travelledhttps://amzn.to/496J0SDThe Tragedy of Heterosexualityhttps://amzn.to/4jvfFozfollow me on IG ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! $3 a month, 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla

Recording of the second discussion group for part 1 of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden ~ Baddie Book Club! We discuss reflecting on times where we've noticed we've had low self-esteem, dealing with uncertainty that comes with transition periods after break-ups and during gap years, having self-compassion for your former self, how to integrate "failure" into our definition of success and more! join the Patreon to join the next discussion sessions! patreon.com/amberakilla The Six Pillars of Self Esteem (affiliate link*) https://amzn.to/496J0SD follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exercises https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completion00:0001:30 - knowing you deserve to be happy/ dealing with triggers02:46 - integration vs healing04:32 - distinction between mind and body, managing over-thinking05:52 - being ok with not knowing06:35 - whimsy and rejecting perfection07:34 - illusion that everything has to be ‘good’08:20 - how low-self esteem translates into how you live your life - gap year: freedom vs uncertainty09:15 - absence of community after school10:16 - enjoying who you are as a person11:25 - dance & yoga14:57 - work and self-worth17:05 - protecting and prioritising joy19:40 - self-esteem and love, not feeling loveable22:13 - people with high self-esteem do not stay with partners who don’t treat them well24:08 - self-esteem and knowing you don’t have to tolerate poor treatment24:45 - childhood experiences that condition us to accept or normalise poor treatment25:40 - remembering when you were able to walk away26:49 - doing the best with the information you had at the time27:00 - the illusion of “this time will be different”27:27 - processing breakups28:10 - self-compassion for your former self29:58 - you are not alone30:40 - looking forward to an abundant life31:44 - accepting accountability - seeing dynamics as neutral and avoiding fixation on context33:14 - distinguishing accountability from blame34:20 - how time changes your perspective - one day it will mean something different35:38 - “failure” is part of success36:55 - how you learn and integrate “failure”37:20 - self efficacy and self respect 38:10 - being to see your progress and improvement39:12 - knowing when to get off the wrong train41:08 - you never fail, you win or you learn41:28 - unquantifiable success and growth43:00 - relationship with time, responsibility and purpose - being present45:14 - being on the hamster wheel45:20 - delayed gratification, pushing yourself vs punishing yourself49:55 - your relationship to your circumstances51:11 - the immune system of consciousness

ok so i originally said this was going to be one long video with an accompanying substack article - now it will be a few videos with one or more substack articles… stay tuned! i hope you enjoy the first instalment of the 2026 love, lust & loathing valentine’s day series! this started as a mix series on soundcloud (you can still listen to the previous mixes) but in 2024 i added a lil Q&A which i thought to bring back this year! this first video focuses on differentiating between crushes and limerence - i fear many people might be mis-identifying a crush as limerence or being overly hard on themselves with the over-pathologisation of therapy speak etc… don’t let the desire to grow and evolve kill the whimsy in you!!! cute, CHAOTIC and critical thinking can co-exist, just make sure that its a balance that works in your favour!!! love u xxyoutube video: https://youtu.be/rOtI0i13dIA00:00 intro02:15 1. defining love03:51 - question 105:05 - 2. defining limerence05:39 - 3. the stages of limerence06:33 - 4. limerence vs a crush07:50 - 5. a crush is a lack of information08:19 - 6. sexual energy is a form of creative energylimerence is becoming overly attached to the fantasy you create08:51 - 7. weigh the attention you receive accordingly09:12 - 8. get a creative hobby or 5 if you need10:04 - 9. it takes longer to know someone than you think10:51 - 10. they represent something that you need to nurture or work towards for yourself/maybe you just wanna be him10:59 - 11. career woman blindspot11:30 - 12. avoid working with your romantic interests12:04 - 13. storytime :P12:39 - 14. the disrespect is the closure12:48 - 15. you don’t need other people’s approval to validate what you want to do14:09 - 16. never assume that a man is more capable than you14:25 - 17. the dangers of prioritising male attention14:49 - 18. what do i get out of being delusional over this person14:51 - 19. men rarely go out of their way unless they perceive a benefit to themselves14:59 - 20. actions speak louder than words15:45 - 21. the road to recovery for pickmeshas16:05 - 22. men need to learn to love others, women need to learn to love themselves16:08 - question 218:02 - 23. awareness is a privilege 18:39 - 24. you can’t consume your way into a new pattern18:57 - 25. if you have complex trauma, seek the guidance of a mental health professional19:12 - 26. eliminating triggers and isolation is not enough19:19 - 27. you need to add activities that bring you joy and activate your creativity and self-expression19:45 - 28. the “flow state”19:56 - 29. the illusion of a flow state from external sources20:25 - 30. journalling21:01 - 31. keep an ick listspeak to professionals21:21 - 32. set a good example for yourself22:18 - 33. lock in22:52 - 34. believe in your future self23:39 - 35. speak to professionals!

audio recording of our first baddie book club discussion session!! thank you to the baddies who attended and shared their questions, thoughts and feelings! if you would like to join the baddie book club, please join us on patreon! i am re-working the reading schedule and am open to hosting additional discussion sessions to accommodate different timezones. let me know!!! ♡ please share your own insights in the comment section too so we can continue the conversation!!Session notes:00:00 - introdution/first impressions05:14 - self-esteem is essential for survival, self-esteem and work10:39 - continuing to learn outside of formal academic environments14:08 - self-esteem and how to think vs what to think 16:00 - self-esteem and relationships, social circle19:21 - the road less travelled - ‘bracketing’ the ego30:26 - happiness without self-sabotage32:40 - fear of success32:26 - being comfortable in familiarity 32:35 - letting go of pain34:36 - changing how to relate to pain, trauma, events, relationships34:52 - healing vs growth, inegration, authenticity, self-actualization - self-help industry38:36 - the difference between pursuing growth vs perfectionism 41:41 - the pillars of health vs the health industry43:40 - mind & body44:31 - being too in your head - you can’t think your way into perfection or growth46:33 - give yourself space to process, observe and respond47:26 - on the other side of anxiety48:07 - hot girl habits - prioritizing yourself so that you can show up for your responsibilties50:37 - the importance of self-esteem in turbulent times52:10 - identity and purpose through stress/anxiety52:42 - how can i be content, do you don’t need to be in a constant state of ecstasy 53:17 - noticing when you are treating it like a destination and not a journey54:25 - question everything54:55 - its ok to make mistakes

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/DhFmgfKp73Q?si=D7aWmgHwrbQueGq3outlining some ideas around different types of connection and social circles - this is just a starting point and i actually found out about aristotle's 'types of friendship' (pleasure, utility, virtue) after filming this video and there's a lot of parallels between what is discussed in the video, so i would say its kind of like an expansion pack to his original idea. i think even though being social is inherent to human nature, there are so many factors that can complicate how we relate to ourselves and others, it doesn't hurt to take the time to reflect on our friendships and relationships generally so that we can ensure we are showing up with intention and authenticity! please share your thoughts and experiences too so we can continue the conversation!!03:08 - being hot & having fun revision04:47 - give yourself time to grow and evolve05:50 - categories of friendship/connection08:18 - social circles09:17 - your relationship with yourself10:37 - social circles11:14 - inner circle11:43 - acquaintance circle11:56 - balancing online and offline relationships13:27 - beware of performative values14:29 - realistic pacing14:46 - adjusting focus15:45 - moving between circles16:38 - don’t take change personallyfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! $3 a month, 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillaslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionsiren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2autumn in my arms playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270

my thoughts on the people pleasing dynamic. i think healthy, balanced relationships take more work that we are willing to admit and it starts with your relationship with yourself first :') more thoughts to come!!!! let me know yours too!!!01:10 1. people pleasing dynamic02:29 2. connotations of people pleasing03:46 3. re-defining love04:07 4. underlying mindset04:42 5. being questioned/dismissed05:10 6. the habit of people pleasing05:39 7. non-negotiable hobbies to create boundaries06:59 8. consistency is key07:17 9. living to your full potential is the priority08:28 10. resentment and self-abandonment/disappointment08:51 11. other people’s problems actually aren’t your problem09:16 12. redirect the energy into something constructive/creative/for yourself10:04 13. accept that you’ve underestimated your ability/capacity/potential10:21 14. people pleasing creates an inauthentic dynamic10:41 15. make a note of incompatibilities as they arise11:10 16. notice the reflex of taking it personally11:31 17. you feel like a bitch compared to the people-pleasing version of you12:31 18. who cares12:51 19. the price of being hot and having fun13:18 20. learn to discern13:38 21. don’t let people guilt you into a lose-win situation14:00 22. pay me to care14:58 23. boundaries are self-responsibility for your energy and attention15:42 24. allow space to process your own emotions and triggers too17:06 25. people pleasing in group dynamics18:03 26. write down your priorities18:58 27. accept the consequences & take responsibility, are you willing to pay the price19:15 29. your integrity is compromised if you are always looking to assign blame to othersfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillaslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionhttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/e4hrPViYKK8using an analogy about food to talk about transactional relationships and energy exchange. often times we are too externally focused on how other people behave and guessing their intentions. in reality, i feel like when you are locked in on what YOUR intentions are and contributing/giving/showing up from an authentic place, you take everything less personally and which relationships are mutually beneficial and reciprocal will naturally present themselves. your ability to discern who you do and don't want to be around will improve over time as well! let me know your thoughts and any other analogy ideas you have!follow me on IG ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillasiren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2autumn in my arms playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionhttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/boT5swEW5vsif you've been following me for a while, you'll probably have heard me reference and recommend this book over and over. the six pillars of self-esteem by nathaniel branden literally changed my life, it put so much of what i was struggling to put into practice, into words and actionable steps. i can't recommend this book enough!!! rather than just repeating what is already in the book - because i recommend you read it for yourself - this video approaches the pillars of self-esteem through the lens of being hot & having fun. let me know if you've read the book and please keep me posted if you do!i've made a summary and sentence completion worksheet that is available for purchase and download. you can use it as additional journal prompts in your journalling or thought-dumping practice!The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteemhttps://amzn.to/496J0SD (*) affiliate linkthis is the first video in the 'hot girl book club' series where i discuss books that have been directly or indirectly influential on me and the philosophy of being hot & having fun.05:06 - being hot & having fun revision05:54 - pillar i: the practice of living consciously07:00 - pillar ii: the practice of self-acceptance09:06 - pillar iii: the practice of self-responsibility 10:55 - pillar iv: the practice of self-assertiveness12:57 - pillar v: the practice of living purposefully14:38 - pillar vi: the practice of personal integrity 21:57 - the principle of reciprocal causation

i’ve been going on about the importance of a non-negotiable hobby for ages and i’ve also had a lot of questions about pole dance so this is a video that covers both!! 01:05 - non-negotiable hobby: defined 05:40 - my journey with pole dance 08:39 - dance & sexuality/sexuality 10:36 - the power of consistency & practice 11:06 - static vs spin pole 11:39 - tricks vs choreo 13:16 - buying heels 14:39 - body types 15:20 - pain tolerance 15:49 - types of grip 16:37 - knee pads & clothing 17:20 - prepping for class 17:27 - embrace the learning curve follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/fCgEU8hkT2Ai get a lot of questions about how to handle conflict with parents. while i can't speak to the nuances of every relationship, here are some thoughts and feelings that i hope might be applicable or helpful. i know the holiday season can be really overwhelming for some people and i think there are ways we can prepare so that we aren't wasting too much energy on being ugly & having a bad time so we can focus on being hot & having fun, duh!!! 02:19 - 1. your parents want what’s best for you 03:50 - 2. your parents are random people 06:17 - 3. practice gratitude 09:46 - 4. avoid overcommunicating 12:53 - 5. embrace the way your relationship changes over time 14:27 - 6. come up with a game plan 15:23 - 7. cultivate the habit of creating your own safe space 17:07 - 8. financial independence follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/l2Fnj9WalcUtrying is cool !!!!!! 01:26 - nonchalant definitions & connotations 02:46 - the opposite of nonchalant 04:13 - what being “chalant” requires of you 05:22 - don’t compare their end result to your first step 06:05 - familiarize yourself with the discomfort of progress 06:51 - what is the value you want in the process vs the outcome 07:37 - the only person accountable for your time is you 08:38 - being nonchalant is the reward, not the motivator 08:55 - focus on how you want to FEEL not just how it will look 09:27 - pick your hard 10:16 - everyone’s full capacity if unique to them 11:59 - don’t waste energy making assumptions about other people 13:16 - regulate your emotions 14:13 - looking good is expensive - materially & energetically 16:02 - focus on yourself!!!! 16:35 - am i really working to my full capacity? 17:25 - have a real purpose behind what you do 17:48 - you will be out-chalanted 18:04 - the real competition is between you and your former self 18:19 - imagine yourself in the past and in the future 18:43 - don’t die waiting for other people’s permission 20:04 - GET OVER YOURSELF follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

an intro to how i think about and practice awareness around patriarchal conditioning, internalised misogyny and de-centering men. a very complex topic which i hope we can further explore together. for many women the only thing between them and their next slay is a man or the imagined gaze of a man........ let's de-condition together!! i have a patreon only video about recent encounters that made me reflect on the nuances of misandry and hating men as well ~ come join us on patreon!!! 00:57 - 1. the patriarchy 03:35 - 2. the “pick-me” seed 09:45 - 3. the 4 A’s of realizing things - awareness - anger - acceptance - action 10:41 - 4. how is the seed activated 12:09 - 5. challenging your ego 12:54 - 6. integration not avoidance 13:40 - 7. lean into your insecurities & reclaim your skills 14:57 - 8. beauty 15:55 - 9. domestic labour 17:04 - 10. desirability 19:46 - 11. emotional labour 20:40 - 12. radically accept & stay woke subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/vOWAI0hOp-Mhi baddies ~ here are some thoughts for anyone feeling overwhelmed about their job and how it fits into their identity or feel like there's something wrong with them that they don't feel 'passionate' about their job. obviously this is a very nuanced topic and this is just one perspective. let me know what you think, share your experiences and let me know which other angles we can discuss from! love ya xx 02:34 - 02:56 - don’t make assumptions about other people’s work 02:58 - 04:00 - aspire for a full life & identity, not one just consumed by work 04:02 - 04:27 - detach from your job 04:27 - 04:48 - how can your job facilitate a life with passion 04:51 - 06:18 - hustle culture 06:27 - 07:01 - the privilege of awareness 07:02 - 07:36 - disrespect is not a prerequesite to success 07:39 - 11:25 - reverse engineer the vibe of success for you 11:28 - 11:43 - micro-dosing risk 11:45 - 12:05 - do an audit of your life 12:05 - 13:01 - don’t assume that all hobbies need to be monetized 13:04 - 14:02 - figure out your balance between compensation & creativity 14:10 - 14:18 - this is a chapter not the whole book follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/8Opz3x8ws48be mindful of who you give vibe donations to!!!! 01:57 - 1. low vs high vibrations 05:09 - 2. self-awareness 06:12 - 3. superficial connections 07:16 - 4. vibe donation 10:44 - 5. check for blindspots 13:37 - 6. define the vibe you want for your life 16:06 - 7. negging 17:58 - 8. emotional voids 18:52 - 9. protect yourself 19:47 - 10. what is being exchanged in the relationship 20:27 - 11. there’s no prize for “best people pleaser” 21:00 - 12. break the cycle, re-direct energy 21:30 - 13. conversations can open you up to manipulation 22:13 - 14. quiet withdrawal 22:32 - 15. let people feel your absence 22:49 - 16. focus on yourself 23:31 - 17. having a conversation 24:04 - 18. price of re-entry 25:19 - 19. personal responsibility to keep adjusting 26:06 - 20. the hard cut off/ no contact 27:14 - 21. be ok with being a b*tch follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/TblTGkOemwIi got sent videos about this article by so many people i decided to just share some thoughts in a video!! i think the article was great and is indicative of a shift in how people view and value relationship status as part of their identity and self-worth.read the article here: https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-nowbooks mentioned: The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward https://amzn.to/4jvfFoz (*)The Road Less Travelled by M Scott Peck https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*)The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*)02:12 - being hot & having fun04:08 - what is love?04:39 - what we learn about ourselves through dating dynamics06:29 - discussing the article10:08 - does having a boyfriend facilitate being hot & having fun14:36 - defining and embodying being hot & having fun17:10 - exercising your female rights19:55 - heterosexuality and patriarchy20:39 - who are you outside of your relationship status?22:21 - being intentionally single23:18 - heterosexual repair industry24:47 - cognitive dissonance27:30 - the effect of social media on our perception of relationships 29:00 - when influencers post their boyfriends31:17 - to hard launch or not to hard launch32:57 - your relationship is other people’s entertainment34:06 - is your relationship part of your story or your identity35:08 - i think its embarrassing to be sad for too long…periodfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillasiren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlehttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0u9iMbXQhV8DO IT FIRST AND LAUGH IT OFF LATER :D1:56 - internet illusions3:33 - micro-dosing risk4:14 - understanding your patterns7:25 - breaking patterns9:02 - its not hard its just new10:41 - yolo11:31 - do it ironically14:19 - gaslight yourself14:36 - work with your authentic voice15:31 - focus on consistency17:17 - appreciate contrast17:57 - protect your self conceptfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillaautumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlehttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/qXdL5JjLVAwwe are constantly being sold the illusion that time which is paid for is the most 'valuable' time which can allow for anxiety and depression to build up. having awareness and intention in how we spend our time and ensuring that we are able to bring ourselves back to the present moment is one of the most radical things we can do in an attention economy.1:00 - 1. the past and future are illusions2:23 - 2. time in a false heirarchy4:12 - 3. the illusion of productivity vs boredom5:38 - 4. colonizing your boredom6:02 - 5. get some interests6:38 - 6. consumption, creativity, contribution8:12 - 7. being present11:34 - 8. break the cycle12:11 - 9. time is the most valuable resource12:54 - 10. allocating your time and attention15:15 - 11. priorities and relationships16:46 - 12. presence in discomfort17:53 - 13. question your conditioning20:12 - 14. adjust with each life stage21:51 - 15. re-direct and allow for re-calibration22:13 - 16. set intentions and boundaries24:48 - 17. enjoy the journey24:57 - 18. success is overcoming failure25:24 - 19. be hot & having fun or die trying26:08 - 20. diversify your options27:00 - 21. is it your mindset, your circumstances or a combinationfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillahttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/qXdL5JjLVAwthank you so much for subscribing and supporting the channel angels!!!this is a long one so strap in. something i didn't mention was of course to also consult mental health professionals when you're going through it.sometimes its worth going even when things seem like they're fine just for a lil check up and deep dive.let me know in the comments what has helped you to increase your baseline, how you maintain it and any questions!02:37 - 1. everything is vibes03:42 - 2. everything is changing all the time04:01 - 3. integrating spiritual and material04:33 - 4. where is your baseline05:17 - 5. mind vs matter07:40 - 6. define success for yourself10:02 - 7. discipline - constructive vs destructive the road less travelled by m. scott peck https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*)1. delaying of gratification2. acceptance of responsibility3. dedication to truth4. balancing18:40 - 8. integrating your emotions19:50 - 9. diffuse your awareness21:09 - 10. being present, practicing non-judgement24:37 - 11. give up on being perfect, enjoy the journey26:28 - 12. life audit32:40 - 13. social audit, community33:35 - 14. contribute to something outside of yourself34:12 - 15. creativity35:29 - 16. baby steps atomic habits - james clear https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*)37:08 - 17. conclusion(*)amazon affiliate linksfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillaautumn in my arms playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlehttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/mqu4RRzr2oowhat is love.mp3book mentioned: the road less travelled by m. scott peck (*)https://amzn.to/496J0SDother love related videos by meee:is love a neurochemical con job? (podcast) https://youtu.be/uXvumVQkeBEdating after a first love (podcast) https://youtu.be/igKB7V3pvcUgirl boss vs lover girl wanting romance & commitment https://youtu.be/FwplRB_SIegdo you need to kill the lover girl inside of you https://youtu.be/XhlztSH29_g ~~~(*)amazon affiliate linkfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillahttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/UJOsMitowCIfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillahttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/1mv6EZX003Yfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillahttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

i got asked about imposter syndrome recently, there's definitely some overlap with comparing yourself to others (see previous video) but i made this video as an add on/extension. let me know your thoughts as always please!! my skin looks so bad here but i was too lazy to put a filter on so i'm keeping it 99 !!!xx02:30 - everyone is a newbie at some point03:28 - confidence revised04:10 - life is a project, performance art!05:09 - confident people won’t judge you or put you down05:36 - lock in on your purpose07:10 - don’t always assume competition08:04 - understanding your projections08:21 - make friends, connect over common experience09:09 - recognize the unpredictability of each person’s journey09:40 - healthy competition09:59 - embrace your uniqueness10:16 - what your know vs who you know10:50 - understanding nepotism11:55 - build your own thing instead of feeling like you need to be allowed into someone else’s project13:28 - redefine success 14:40 - diversify your focus and interests15:19 - legally blonde - elle woods is an icon!18:10 - redefine purposefollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

talking through the mental blocks that can occur when we get stuck on comparing ourselves to others in a way that hinders our ability to be HOT and HAVE FUN !!!03:33 - radical acceptance05:11 - practicing gratitude07:07 - set intentions07:52 - lean into irony when being serious feels like a joke08:37 - abundance vs delusion09:45 - your mindset affects your decision making11:00 - awareness + intentional action11:28 - practice connecting with your experience of life11:41 - you will face challenges no matter what13:10 - rejection is protection and redirection14:14 - nobody knows what they’re doing15:58 - other people’s success are evidence of what is possible18:03 - be honest with yourself about the lengths you will go18:25 - your own story unfolds through action, not comparison19:27 - additional thoughts20:22 - there's more than just what you think or have been told is 'success'21:00 - understanding your validation needs22:28 - how my idea of success as a DJ has changed over timefollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

that overwhelming "wtf" feeling01:54 - context can differ, dyanmic/feelings are usually consistent02:45 - its better to do something, rather than nothing03:12 - don’t let perfect be the enemy of good04:06 - learn to be a beginner05:23 - what i learnt during the panini (external changes)06:43 - noticing the negative thought pattern: “when x happens, then i can be happy”06:48 - lean into how you feel - anything repressed/suppressed will start to infect your life07:31 - getting sick of yourself07:37 - what would your younger self/future self think08:43 - follow your curiosity11:06 - there is so much you can’t control/ certainty is an illusion11:38 - 20% of the work for 80% of the outcomes12:03 - saying yes to random opportunties13:37 - find something to anchor you and organize your time around14:37 - you can’t always predict how things will unfold15:08 - internal transition phases15:27 - trying is better than nothing17:03 - the outcome and structure forms as you go17:10 - it doesn’t have to be related - focus on enjoying17:48 - do it because you want to - not because of what you think other people will think18:14 - what other people think is a collateral benefit18:35 - you can do something you enjoy and it still be difficult19:00 - things will be hard regardless20:24 - don’t wait for the world to change or give you permission21:16 - the value of small steps over complete overhauls21:46 - focus on being present22:14 - you can’t think your way into the present moment22:30 - cutting down on social media25:14 - you never know what’s going to happen!!!follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

a short video with a gentle reminder that your mental/spiritual/emotional growth doesn't have to look a certain way in order to be valid. maybe your physical and mental glow up happens at the same time and it will be more effective when you are intentional about integrating the range of skills and experiences required - many of which i discuss in previous video and podcast content. please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!!!love ya xxfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

pairing an excerpt from my voice memo podcast series with this footage of me eating dim sum between a soundcheck and standby while i was on a job earlier this year in wuhan hehe ~ i mention fengshui changes, what one of my friend's recent dating situations prompted in reflecting on a woman's ego in dating and what stops me from entertaining low effort romantic opportunities #realizingthingsmy voice memo podcast series are more casual and personal, i give life updates, spill tea, answer listener questions, share recent thoughts/test topics that may eventually become stand alone videos or episodes. come join the partyyy *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ thank you to anyone that has been supporting already! ily ♡ let me know your thoughts and if you like this format !!! i can pair vlog-ish content with voice over chitchat so you have the option to watch or just have on in the background and listen!voice memo 53 - full episode on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0NK2MYu1dcPToSL9H5g3Ee?si=2443923415644589voice memo 53 - full episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/voice-memo-53-in-131721472?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_linkfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

don't let the haters stop you from doing ur thangfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

when being the bigger person is overratedif you wish me bad, i wish you _____ !!!!01:53 - 04:25 - 1. define love, acknowledge your efforts04:25 - 05:21 - 2. what fantasy or potential did you become attached to05:22 - 05:52 - 3. withdraw your effort05:53 - 09:07 - 4. redirect, transmute & alchemize your energy09:08 - 11:30 - 5. neutrality over positivity (for now)11:31 - 14:36 - 6. be prepared & train for awkward moments14:37 - 15:57 - 7. don’t assume you know how someone is coping, focus on yourself15:58 - 16:35 - 8. everyone’s karma is their personality 16:36 - 17:25 - 9. have a constructive & generative mindset not a destructive one17:26 - 18:58 - 10. being protective during initial healing18:59 -20:54 - 11. wish them nothing20:56 - 22:40 - 12. everything is changing all the time, transformation takes consistent effort over timefollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

watch this if you're looking to start or still skeptical about journalling !!!4:36 the artist’s way, being consistent5:45 free printables & habit trackers5:54 the six pillars of self esteem6:42 create a judgement free space for your thoughts7:38 you don’t have to revisit or re-read8:34 normalize crashing out in private10:02 allow for new thoughts11:25 positive scripting12:05 re-affirm whats important to you12:50 prepare for things to change13:47 prepare for new challenges14:59 being intentional with time & energy16:22 tools requiredslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

meditation re-wired my brain fr fr01:31 -  sit with your thoughts02:02 - its good for u03:16 - why i started meditating (DEPRESSION)05:17 - consistency is key05:59 - finding stillness in chaos07:07 - how my perspective shifted08:45 - centering yourself vs being self-centered09:25 - what you can’t outrun10:18 - separating your thoughts from the thinker10:43 - responding to triggers12:36 - meditation as mental training13:35 - don’t compare to others13:53 - observing other people’s patterns15:31 - my current meditation practice16:41 - assessing mental space - the floorplan of your psyche19:12 - control freak tendencies20:09 - there is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ meditation21:18 - do the difficult thing first21:52 - commit!!!!!22:15 - compounding effects23:22 - letting go of spirals and negative thought patterns24:08 - MAKE THE TIME24:52 - separate ego & persona from the self25:17 - living with intention25:47 - observing, not eliminating your thoughts - the gateway to your subconscious26:21 - building the habit, your baseline shiftsslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

girl, you might be a VICTIM??!!!referenced video on female bullyinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL5qDFDttps4:46 indirect, passive agression5:45 group size6:20 incompatibility 6:54 social isolation & the grey zone7:12 jealousy & envy7:32 aggression inhibitors8:13 being hot is a threat11:15 prevention11:35 avoid emotional reactions12:03 employ humour/wit12:35 insecurity/second chances12:53 get social skills/new friends14:15 be true to your core values16:05 learn to be alone16:57 clock those one sided relationships18:54 gatekeep vulnerability20:32 don’t question fate22:36 allow time to pass & the tea to spillsubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠slay habit trackers ☆ free download⁠https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

maybe your love is meant for you first and others next and yea then maybe some guy lollet me know ya thoughts and feelings my loves xxx03:59 retraining and maturing the lover girl05:49 love vs romance08:22 relationships are transactional & exchanges12:34 your life garden17:55 success = preparation + opportunity22:36 be so for real (& stop comparing)25:09 leave it to fatesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

hope this helps!!! let me know :Pchronically online behviournobody cares that muchembrace the discomfort & cringebaby steps & experimental approachcreate your own metric systempeople that have reconciled with their cringe, won’t judge youwhat is your value addbe real with yourselfradical acceptanceembrace evolutionsubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

some additional thoughts on how to adjust your mindset to make new friends. share your thoughts and experiences with me in the comments!!!referenced videos:30 & feeling lonely and disconnected:https://youtu.be/d31wkPGXUd0do what you enjoy:https://youtu.be/M_7URMkKPR8hot girl habits:https://youtu.be/DszRCbx0_AEsubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

i feel like i haven't done a proper podcast episode in ages but its also not the longest break i've taken... abridged life update incoming ..! i made it to naoshima island, visited perth for the longest period since moving back to shanghai in 2022 and been reflecting on my 20s now that i'm in my 30s. thank you so so much to anyone that has supported me through all the different content creation phases i have been through in the last few years... truly unhinged and recently i have been reflecting a lot on how much this process has impacted me (for the better) - which i don't discuss in detail here but will in the future!!! LOVE YOU LOTS AND SPEAK SOON !!!! xoxoxsubscribe for exclusive podcast episodes ♡free trial available on patreon~ join the group chat!https://patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakillahttps://www.xiaohongshu.com/user/profile/amberakillayesstyle codeAMBER39

what does it really take to be a “baddie”? to me, being a baddie is more than just an aesthetic, its an attitude, and one that you have to define for yourself and EXECUTE!!!!!! baddie defined personalise your approach success is not the absence of failure example process your emotions two approaches sense of humour grey-rock baddie in training be prepared to walk away define your bottom line 10. allow yourself to evolvesubscribe for exclusive podcast episodes ♡free trial available on patreon~ join the group chat!https://patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakillahttps://www.xiaohongshu.com/user/profile/amberakillayesstyle codeAMBER39

don't forget to slay!!! subscribe for exclusive podcast episodes ♡ https://patreon.com/amberakilla ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla https://www.xiaohongshu.com/user/profile/amberakilla yesstyle code AMBER39