BDSM, Choking & Aftercare: A Kink Masterclass (ft. Amanda Dames)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Amanda Dames, the kink consultant and sex & relationship coach, for a deep dive into the world of kink — from power dynamics and negotiation to choking, bondage, chastity, and aftercare. Amanda, a former dominatrix and current coach for couples and individuals, breaks down how to safely explore desire, communicate boundaries, and find confidence in both dominance and submission.We discuss:What a kink consultant actually does and how Amanda works with couples and individualsHow to talk about kink and start negotiating scenes with a partnerThe concept of core desires: what drives your kinks on a deeper levelPower exchange and why it’s one of the most common and misunderstood kinksHow to safely practice choking and the difference between sides and trachea pressureHow to create and close a scene, use safe words, and practice aftercareThe difference between a kink and a fetish (and why fantasizing isn’t cheating)What to do when one partner is kinky and the other isn’tThe importance of curiosity, consent, and mutual care in exploring desiresWhy choking porn shouldn’t be banned, it should be taught safelyHow to avoid nerve damage in bondage and the importance of safety scissorsHow to transition between dominance and submission when you’re a switchWhy chastity for men is on the rise and what makes it excitingThe realities of power play, punishment, and controlWhat good aftercare looks like: from cuddling to next-day check-insWhy communication before, during, and after sex prevents harm and deepens connectionThe role of negotiation, consent, and enthusiasm in every sceneWhy more women should take control in bed and why more men should learn to be submissiveHow lingerie, pegging, and roleplay are more common (and fun) than people thinkAmanda’s fetish for being punished and how fantasy enhances orgasm