In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist, content creator, and non-monogamy advocate Kate Shelor for an unfiltered conversation about open relationships, outsourcing fantasies, emotional labor in swinging, and the surprising ways long-term couples keep intimacy exciting.Kate opens up about why she rarely dates outside her marriage despite being ethically non-monogamous, how hiring sex workers simplified their relationship dynamic, and the realities of jealousy, chemistry, group play, and sexual compatibility. They also dive into anal sex, fantasies, OnlyFans attention, emotional burnout, aging, confidence, kink exploration, and the difference between fantasy and real-life sex.Topics covered:Ethical non-monogamy & swingingWhy Kate rarely wants other partnersBeing a sex educator while datingBeing intimidating or “unapproachable”Emotional labor in open relationshipsUsing escorts and sex workers as a coupleNegotiating fantasies and boundariesWhy paying for sex can be simpler than datingOutsourcing anal and mismatched sexual interestsJealousy, communication, and trust in marriageMale vs female sex workersExploring kinks safelyWhy group sex stopped being excitingRealistic female orgasms vs porn fantasyAging, hormones, and changing libidoOnlyFans, validation, and sexual attention onlineKeeping long-term relationships excitingMatching underwear subscriptionsCruise playrooms and glory hole adventuresNovelty, intimacy, and maintaining attraction

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with… herself for a raw, unfiltered solo episode catching you up on everything from life on a Temptation Cruise to her evolving dating standards, sexual boundaries, and relationship mindset.Alexa shares what it’s like attending a Temptation/Desire-style cruise solo for the first time (people-watching couples, navigating swinger culture, and breaking down exactly how playrooms, workshops, and non-monogamous dynamics work in real life). She dives into her personal shift away from casual sex and into intentional dating, explaining why she’s now prioritizing emotional connection, aftercare, and partners who genuinely meet her needs, especially when it comes to oral sex. The episode explores deeper questions around monogamy vs. non-monogamy, whether one partner can meet all your needs, and how exposure to different relationship styles can expand your perspective, whether you ever practice them or not. She also shares behind-the-scenes insights into her workshops, from pussy worship to anal education, and what it’s like teaching pleasure in a fully immersive, hands-on environment.Topics CoveredSwinger cruise culture: Temptation & Desire breakdownPlayroom rules, dynamics, and etiquetteWorkshops: pussy worship, anal 101, handjob techniquesObserving newbies vs experienced couples in non-monogamyCommunity, connection, and friendships on lifestyle cruisesUsing pleasure and joy as a form of balance in a difficult worldTransition from casual sex to intentional datingSexual dissatisfaction and unmet needs in casual dynamicsThe importance of oral sex and prioritizing female pleasureThe orgasm gap and stimulation differences during penetration“Real eater only” mindset and not settling sexuallyMonogamy vs non-monogamy reflectionsFluid relationship identities and changing over timeLearning from different relationship structuresExpanding social circles: queer, kinky, celibate, non-monogamous perspectivesMasturbation and solo pleasure practicesBehind-the-scenes of sex workshops and teaching live experiencesSTI education gaps and common fearsOrgies, private room dynamics, and cruise experiencesCommunity vs sex focus in lifestyle spacesBuilding a career as a sex educator and coachThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexaTemptation Cruises InfoDesire Cruises Info

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Ashley Manta to explore the world of energetic sex: what it is, how it works, and whether you can actually feel pleasure, connection, or even orgasm without physical touch.They break down the concept of the energetic body vs the physical body, how breath, presence, and visualization play a role in directing energy, and how practices rooted in tantra, mindfulness, and somatic awareness can expand what we think of as sex. Ashley explains how energy can be shared between partners (with consent), how couples can sync breath and build intimacy without touch, and how techniques like eye gazing, chakra visualization, and intention-setting are used in workshops.The conversation covers everything from solo exploration to partnered experiences like “energetic penetration,” heart-to-heart connection exercises, and combining touch with energy to enhance sensation. They also discuss real workshop experiences where beginners reported feeling physical sensations, emotional releases, and even orgasms while fully clothed.Topics discussed:What “energetic sex” isEnergetic body vs physical bodyBreathwork and presence in sexual experiencesVisualization and directing energySolo energetic pleasure practicesPartnered energetic connectionEye gazing and breath syncingChakra system and energy movementHand energy exercise (feeling energy between palms)Energetic “penetration” conceptCombining physical touch with energyWorkshop experiences and beginner reactionsReports of no-touch orgasmsEmotional and somatic responses (shaking, release)Building confidence in energetic practicesEnergetic kink and power dynamicsEnergetic restraint and roleplayTuning into a partner’s “frequency”Feedback cues and responsivenessBreath orgasms vs other orgasm typesLaughgasms, coregasms, and non-traditional orgasmsExpanding definitions of pleasureSelf-pleasure and manifestation practicesUsing orgasmic energy for intention-settingLonger orgasm experiencesTantra workshops and festivalsTantric massage (what it may involve)Skepticism vs opennessLong-distance energetic connectionPhone sex using energy and visualizationAlexa’s personal experiment and results

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Star Stone to unpack her real-life experience inside OneTaste, the controversial “orgasmic meditation” (OM) community often described as a sex cult.Star shares how she was drawn in while searching for better sex and multiple orgasms, what “OMing” actually is, and how quickly curiosity turned into something much more complex. From communal living and blurred consent to coercion, confusion, and trauma bonding, this episode dives deep into the psychological dynamics of cult-like environments and how they operate under the guise of empowerment and sexual wellness.We talk about why people join, how boundaries get blurry, what makes leaving so difficult, and what healing looked like afterward. Star also opens up about rebuilding her relationship to sex, safety, and intimacy after the experience.We also cover the recent sentencing of OneTaste founder Nicole Daedone and what accountability, justice, and systemic change actually look like in cases like this.Topics covered:How Star first discovered OneTaste What “orgasmic meditation” actually is and how it worksWanting to become multi-orgasmic and seeking better sexThe structure of OM classes and partner pairingWhy the first experience didn’t work but still hooked herMoving into communal “OM houses”Sharing beds with strangers and lack of privacyHouse rules and daily OM expectationsConfusion as a control tactic in cult dynamicsPressure to override boundaries and say yesConsent vs coercion in group environments“Lean into discomfort” and loss of autonomySexual dynamics, power, and unsafe partner experiencesTrauma bonding and cycles of abuseWhy it’s hard to leave cult-like environmentsThe role of belonging, community, and vulnerabilityLeaving the house vs leaving the organizationTherapy, treatment, and understanding narcissistic abuseProcessing trauma through art, comedy, and storytellingLife after OneTaste and rebuilding sexual safetyHow the experience impacted her sex life and relationshipsLearning boundaries, discernment, and partner selectionMoving to Costa Rica for healing and nervous system resetWriting and performing her one-woman showHumor as a tool for processing traumaCult psychology and why smart people still joinJustice vs systemic change in cases of sexual exploitationAt the time of this episode, Star chose not to speak in detail about the legal case.However, here are the key verified facts:Nicole Daedone was sentenced to 9 years in federal prison in March 2026 for forced labor conspiracyCo-defendant Rachel Cherwitz received 78 months (6.5 years)Prosecutors said the organization used psychological, emotional, and financial coercionVictims were allegedly pressured into unpaid labor and sexual acts with clients or investorsThe court ordered $12 million in forfeiture and nearly $900,000 in restitution to victimsThe case followed a five-week federal trial in 2025If you want to read more:DOJ sentencing announcementGuardian coverage of the caseThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2615-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with sex therapist and author Ian Kerner to break down what’s really going on in your sex life, starting with one simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.”From there, they unpack the patterns most couples fall into and why sex often becomes routine, disconnected, or unsatisfying over time. This episode dives into the hidden dynamics behind desire, communication, and intimacy and how to actually fix them.They cover:sex scripts and why most people follow the same predictable patternspontaneous vs responsive desire and why mismatched libidos happenwhy initiation often fails (and creates rejection cycles)obligation sex vs genuinely wanting itthe role of foreplay, arousal, and why rushing to penetration backfiresthe orgasm gap and importance of clitoral stimulationwhy couples stop prioritizing sex in long-term relationshipscommunication struggles and how to actually say what you wantturning complaints into clear desiresbuilding anticipation, tension, and erotic connectionpractical tools like the “willingness window”how to create better sex through intention, not just chemistry

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian Tina Friml to talk about:Growing up with cerebral palsy and dating insecuritiesBecoming a successful comedian even without a drivers license Bullying around desirability and sexHaving sex for the first time at 26Slow burn vs instant chemistry in datingNavigating ambiguity and attractionMaking dates go to her comedy showsUsing comedy to express kinks and boundariesBad sex due to lack of communication/understandingPolyamory vs monogamy experiencesSex parties and explorationDiscovering a love for restraint and being tied up (Shibari)Sex toys and accessibility issuesMisconceptions about disabled people being non-sexualEmotional labor of making others comfortableRejection and people avoiding honestyGreen flags in dating disabled peopleThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2615-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with kink performer, educator, and co-founder of Hit Me Up, Hawthorne, to talk about the future of sex, switches, kink exploration, nipple clamps, and the very real phenomenon of post-nut clarity.We get into how sex parties are evolving beyond just hooking up, and why community might be the most important part of modern sexuality. From mixers and workshops to co-working spaces (yes, really), we explore how people are using these environments to build real connections, not just get laid.We also talk about:Why community comes before sex (and how that changes everything)How kink and non-monogamy have become more visible The rise of switches and why rigid dom/sub roles are fadingWhat people still get wrong about power dynamicsPost-nut clarity, what actually happens psychologically and physically after orgasm, and why so many people completely drop the ball right after they comeWhy private orgies > big parties (sometimes)How to approach people at events without being weirdThe reality of running a sex party businessThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2610-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to talk about emotional connection: what it actually means, why it matters, and how it directly impacts your sex life.From feeling “seen, heard, and safe” to understanding why some people need emotional connection before sex (and others after), this episode breaks down the real dynamics behind intimacy, desire, and long-term connection.Alexa and Gaby explore how disconnection happens  (even in good relationships) and how couples can rebuild it through communication, attunement, and intentional effort. They also unpack why relying on your partner as your only emotional outlet can kill attraction, and how having a “menu” of support systems actually strengthens your relationship.In this episode, we cover:What emotional connection actually meansEmotional vs physical connection and how they influence each otherWhy some people need sex to feel emotionally connectedWhy emotional safety is the foundation for intimacyReconnecting after a fight (without forcing sex)Meeting your partner in the middle instead of rejecting bids for connectionExpanding your “menu” of emotional support beyond your partnerWhy relying on your partner for everything kills attractionHow to feel connected again when life gets busyWeekly check-ins and “heart to heart” conversationsThe importance of non-sexual touchAppreciation, praise, and feeling seen in relationshipsCreating novelty (why hotel sex hits different)Why good sex doesn’t equal emotional connectionResentment as the biggest relationship killerOne-sided effort and what to do when your partner isn’t trying“We accept the love we think we deserve”Outgrowing relationships and evolving needsHow to know if a relationship is worth savingDating tips to assess emotional compatibility earlyWhy safety is essential — even in casual sexAttunement: the sexiest relationship skillThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian, podcaster, and host of The Manwhore Podcast, Billy Procida, to talk about humor in dating and relationships and why so many men feel the need to be the funniest person you’ve ever met.From prank culture to competitive humor between partners, Billy and Alexa unpack the difference between being funny, being fun, and trying way too hard. They discuss why some people struggle to accept being the “joke receiver,” why men can feel threatened by funny women, and why humor can help smooth conflict.In this episode we cover:Why humor matters in relationshipsThe difference between being funny vs being funWhy trying to be funny often backfiresMen feeling pressure to be the funniest person in the roomWhy some men get uncomfortable when women are funnierHumor competition in datingThe role of banter and shared humor stylesWhy prank humor often crosses the lineAccepting that you might not be the funny oneHumor as a tool to diffuse conflictDifferent types of humor compatibilityWhy forcing jokes is unattractiveHumor as part of flirting and connectionWhy being playful may matter more than being funnyThe pressure comedians face in datingDating when humor is part of your identityThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2610-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, sex educator, and polyamorous creator Gabrielle Alexa Noel to talk about the fantasy everyone has — and the one that goes wrong the most: threesomes.From “unicorn hunting” to couple privilege, from jealousy to communication, this episode breaks down what actually makes a threesome hot and what makes it awkward, performative, or emotionally messy.Gabby and Alexa unpack why “the third is the star of the show,” why gifting a threesome is a red flag, why kissing rules are often a dealbreaker, and why straight couples may have an easier time swapping than finding a unicorn.In this episode, we cover:The biggest communication mistakes couples makeWhy “creating safety” changes everythingKissing rules some couples have“Couple privilege and why it mattersWhy the third needs to feel specialHow to DM a third correctly (and what NOT to say)Signs a couple isn’t actually readyEmotional labor being offloaded onto the thirdWhy you should take the third on a dateWhy swapping couples may be easier than unicorn huntingJealousy and insecurity during group sexWhat to do when someone feels left outAftercare expectations and debriefsWhy porn positions aren’t realisticSTI prep, condom changes, and fluid bondingToys in threesomesSingle men’s best strategy for getting a threesomeWhy romance still matters even in casual group sexThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with abortion activist and founder of the Abortion Positivity Project, Sophie Nir, for a fact-based conversation about abortion positivity, stigma, bodily autonomy, forced pregnancy, abortion bans, medication abortion, procedural abortion, and more.This episode breaks down what abortion positivity actually means: removing stigma and shame from the conversation entirely. Sophie explains why abortion bans do not reduce abortions, why 1% of abortions happening after 20 weeks is weaponized misinformation, and why “bodily autonomy does not expire at any point in pregnancy.”She also covers how to support a friend through an abortion, how to navigate abortion inside relationships, what reproductive coercion is, how medication abortion works (mifepristone + misoprostol), why abortion is overwhelmingly popular despite political narratives, and why forced pregnancy is the real moral issue.In this episode, we cover:Why shame around abortion is taught, not inherentThe difference between being “pro choice” and abortion positiveHow political language stigmatizes abortionWhy abortion access is in the worst position in 52 yearsThe myth that abortion bans reduce abortion ratesAbortion statisticsForced pregnancy as government controlMedication abortion vs procedural abortionHow mifepristone and misoprostol workAccessing abortion in restrictive states / countriesHow to support a friend having an abortionLetting go of internalized abortion shameTalking about abortion openly with friendsReproductive coercion in relationshipsPartner influence vs bodily autonomyWhy consenting to sex is not consenting to pregnancyThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2606-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Aimee, sex coach, host of Come Talk With Aimee, to unpack red flags in hookup culture, casual sex boundaries, love bombing, ghosting, emotional unavailability, situationships, sexual compatibility, and how to protect your peace while still having fun.This episode dives into the blurred lines between “hot” and “toxic,” how to define red flags in early dating, and why casual doesn’t have to mean careless. Alexa and Aimee break down how to navigate casual sex in a way that feels empowering instead of chaotic.In this episode, we cover:How to define a red flag (and why they aren’t always universal)The difference between mystery and emotional unavailabilityWhy hot-and-cold behavior is a major warning signLove bombing and how to spot it earlyWhy ghosting happens (and when it’s acceptable)Fear of rejection and craving validationHow to state your needs without playing gamesCasual sex vs. friends with benefits vs. fuck buddiesSetting boundaries before sex happensHow to avoid situationships and why we’re both against themWhy “casual” doesn’t mean carelessHow to reschedule a date properly from both sidesSigns someone may be selfish in bedUnsolicited nudes and consent in sextingCondom jokes & sexual health red flagsBoundary pushing and subtle manipulation tacticsNegging disguised as “banter”Why talking badly about all your exes is a red flagPussy worship vs. oral as a choreAbundance mindset vs. scarcity mindset in datingWhy you shouldn’t do casual if it creates chaos for youProtecting your peace while still enjoying sexThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2606-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sexologist, intimacy coach for men, and former sex worker Coral Osborne for a conversation about conflict, repair, emotional safety, and how to fight in ways that actually strengthen relationships instead of destroying them.This episode breaks down why conflict is inevitable, why resolution is not the same as repair, and how most people unintentionally make things worse by avoiding discomfort, suppressing feelings, issuing ultimatums, or apologizing without real empathy. Coral shares tools drawn from attachment theory, coaching, lived experience, and relationship psychology to help couples navigate fights with curiosity, accountability, and emotional intelligence.Topics covered include:The difference between conflict resolution and emotional repairWhy 69% of conflict in relationships is recurringSecure vs anxious vs avoidant attachment stylesWhy conflict is necessary for real intimacySulking, silent treatment, and “read my mind” behaviorFight, flight, freeze responses in relationshipsHow avoidance fuels resentment and ruptureThe importance of reassurance during conflictWhy “do you want to be right or happy?” mattersActive listening and emotional attunementHow to bring issues up without score-keepingWhy feelings don’t have to “make sense” to be validRejection and abandonment as core emotional woundsWhat a real apology actually includesWhy ultimatums damage trust and safetyRepair rituals and post-conflict reconnectionWhy makeup sex doesn’t work for everyoneGamifying conflict and repair to reduce defensivenessWhen recurring fights are about values vs preferencesEmotional safety as the foundation for erotic surrenderCuriosity as the key to intimacy, sex, and connectionThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Aaron Thompson (aka Small Hands) to unpack how an awkward, short kid with a conservative upbringing became one of the most desired men in adult entertainment, and why confidence has far more to do with self-awareness, humility, and emotional intelligence than looks, height, or stats on a dating app.They go deep on real intimacy versus performative sex, porn myths versus real-life pleasure, and how men can become better lovers by listening, learning, and caring more about their partner’s experience than their own ego.Topics covered include:The “Short King” mindset and why height doesn’t matterMasculinity, confidence, and owning what you can’t changePenis size myths and sexual insecurityWhy personality beats looks in real attractionDating apps, stats culture, and first impressionsPorn vs real sex (and why porn is not sex education)Communication, consent, and “checking in” during sexReading body language, sounds, and partner feedbackHelping partners orgasm without killing the vibeUsing vibrators, magic wands, and toys with confidenceSexual worship, power dynamics, and mutual pleasureLearning from women and having real female friendshipsDating as a porn star and navigating fans vs real intimacyPerformative sex vs lazy, intimate, off-camera connectionOnlyFans, AI digital duplicates, and fantasy fulfillmentErectile health, Viagra and injectable performance drugsAaron’s natural erection health routineThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, performer, director, and sex worker Lucy Hart for an honest conversation about reinvention, desire, identity, and learning how to start over without losing yourself. Lucy shares what it has been like to transition later in life, rebuild after financial loss, find community through kink and creativity, and forgive herself through every stage of change.In this episode, they discuss:Reinventing yourself multiple times throughout lifeTransitioning later in life and trusting your timingBuilding chosen family and supportive communityTalking about sex before getting into bedEnding sex based on satisfaction, not performanceCommunication, oral sex, toys, kink, and curiositySexual responsibility, testing, PrEP, and harm reductionThe importance of kissing and chemistryExploring kink slowly and without pressurePower dynamics and shifting rolesLosing financial stability and rebuilding from scratchDivorce, grief, and letting go of relationships that no longer fitForgiveness as a daily practiceLetting go of resentment and self-blameRedefining success and happinessMaking peace with impermanenceTrusting yourself to rebuild again if neededThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sex educator and Beyond the Beez founder Elizabeth Ashford for a deeply practical, funny, and no-BS conversation about talking during sex—and why silence, shame, and faking orgasms are some of the biggest barriers to good sex. From dirty talk and giving direction to toys, lube, boundaries, aftercare, and post-sex debriefs, this episode is a masterclass in how communication transforms intimacy, pleasure, and connection.In this episode, Alexa and Elizabeth discuss:Why silence during sex creates insecurity and confusionDirty talk vs simply communicating during sexUsing your voice for pleasure, direction, and curiosityWhy most people struggle to talk during sexCultural shame, lack of sex education, and sexual confidenceFinding your sexual voice and understanding your desiresWhy dirty talk looks different for everyoneTrauma, shame, BDSM experience, and comfort levels with dirty talkBlending dirty talk with practical directionGiving feedback without killing the moodStarting with positive reinforcement before giving directionHow safety makes sexual communication easierHow faking orgasms reinforces bad sex habitsWhy honesty leads to better long-term sexThe orgasm gap and why penetration alone isn’t enoughWhy partners need to genuinely care about your pleasureOral sex as a baseline expectation, not a bonus“Non-eaters” as a dealbreakerCuriosity as the foundation of good sexSex worth having vs sex worth avoidingStarter phrases for people new to dirty talkKeeping dirty talk simple and naturalCompliments during sex and feeling desiredPost-sex communication and debriefingAftercare beyond cuddlingTalking about what worked and what didn’tPorn, audio erotica, and learning language for desireErotic menus and yes/maybe/no frameworksBorrowing phrases instead of reinventing dirty talkThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexaThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake DomWhy “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misusedHow fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating appsManipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flagsPatience as the most attractive and essential Dom skillWhy dominance is about giving and not controllingWhy dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chainsEating pussy before, during, and after penetrationAnxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failureStrap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetrationAsking better questions about pleasure and satisfactionThe brain as the biggest sex organPost-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more ofAdvocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamicsBeginner Dom mistakes to avoidWhy Doms should experience submission or bottomingPerformative dominance vs authentic presenceThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with musician and content creator Emi Larraud for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about vulnerability, masculinity, oversharing on the internet, and why emotional availability makes men more desirable and better lovers. From shitting yourself on the subway to tips on how to be more vulnerable, this episode explores how being human, communicative, and emotionally present leads to better sex, safer intimacy, and more meaningful connections.In this episode, Alexa and Emi discuss:Masculinity, patriarchy, and how it harms menWhy toughness, aggression, and emotional suppression are not attractiveHealthy masculinity and being raised with emotional permissionMen crying, expressing emotions, and being fully humanHow emotional openness improves dating and sexWhy men shouldn’t center other men’s approvalSeeking male validation vs caring what women actually wantListening to women instead of guessing what they wantBeing bisexual and how that shaped Emi’s perspective on intimacyThe hot take: men who refuse to eat pussy are kinda gayWhy vulnerability filters out the wrong peopleGetting approached more after being emotionally openEmotional growth through therapyHolding male friends accountable for harmful jokesSex, intimacy, and performance anxietyFeeling pressure to perform sexuallyLiking women vs just wanting to fuck themThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey. https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexaThank you Splash Blanket for keeping my guests cozy and mess-free <3 🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist and intimacy coach Kate Shelor for an in-depth conversation about erotic hypnosis, the subconscious mind, and how our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional conditioning shape pleasure, desire, and orgasm. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode breaks down what hypnosis really is, how it differs from pop-culture myths, and how erotic hypnosis can help people get out of their heads, release sexual shame, and reconnect with their bodies.In this episode, Alexa and Kate discuss:The role of the subconscious mind in sex, pleasure, and behaviorWhy so many people struggle to stay present during sexAnxiety, body image, and self-conscious thoughts in the bedroomHow hypnosis helps people get out of their heads and into sensationWhy all hypnosis is ultimately self-hypnosisConsent, collaboration, and personal agency in hypnosisCommon myths about hypnosis from movies and pop cultureWhether some people are “more hypnotizable” than othersSexual blocks related to orgasms, erections, and arousalKate’s personal journey using hypnotherapy to overcome orgasm strugglesHow language and self-talk program sexual responsesThe power of repetition in shaping subconscious beliefsBlindfolds, sensory deprivation, and imagination in erotic playPractical self-hypnosis and mindset exercises for homeAuditing negative self-talk and replacing it intentionallyRewriting old conditioning with new emotional experiencesWhy the subconscious mind overrides logic every timeSurrounding yourself with sex-positive language and mediaThe best time of day for self-hypnosisHow long hypnosis takes to create change🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with tantric practitioner, pleasure educator, and soon-to-be author Davia Frost for a deep conversation about decentering penetration and expanding what sex can be. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode explores how slowing down, breathing, presence, and creativity can lead to more satisfying, intimate, and embodied pleasure without sex needing to revolve around penetration.We discuss:What it means to decenter penetration and why penetration is overemphasized in mainstream cultureHow expanding your definition of sex increases pleasure, intimacy, and satisfactionWhy heterosexual couples tend to rush to intercourse and how this limits pleasureUsing the full body as an instrument of pleasure rather than focusing only on genitalsSlowing down, softening the body, and learning how to receive pleasureMyths around sex, obligation, and the idea that penetration is requiredMaking penetration optional without sex feeling “incomplete”Erogenous zones beyond genitals (neck, ears, inner thighs, behind the knees, clavicle, elbows, nipples)Nipple play and nipple orgasmsDifferent types of orgasms and expanding orgasmic capacityBreathwork, sound, humming, and tantra as tools for pleasureWhy holding your breath can limit orgasmic potentialPresence vs performance in sexOral sex as intimacy, honoring, and shared pleasure rather than a choreEye gazing, kissing, dirty talk, and touch as deeply intimate actsEgo, vulnerability, and why sex often ends when penetration endsEnding sex based on satisfaction, not orgasms or penetrationCommunication strategies for talking about pleasure without hurting egosSexual menus, check-ins, and having conversations outside the bedroomScheduling intimacy, playfulness, and creative erotic invitationsWhat straight couples can learn from queer sex cultureThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2548-alexa🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with sex & relationship coach Catherine Drysdale for the most honest, nuanced conversation about voluntary celibacy you’ve ever heard. Together they break down how intentionally stepping away from partnered sex can reset your dating patterns, raise your standards, calm your nervous system, help you stop centering dating/sex, reconnect you to your body, and ultimately make your sex life better.In this episode, Catherine opens up about: What voluntary celibacy actually meansWhy she’s chosen celibacy multiple timesLibido dips during high-stress seasons– Prioritizing outercourse for better sexCelibacy as a tool for breaking validation cyclesHow to stop centering dating, sex and external validationDating while celibate & setting clear boundariesHow long a celibacy period should lastHow to decide when to re-enter sex or dating into your lifeWhat she learned about sexual compatibilityThe “reset effect” on desire and self-esteemHow celibacy helped her see red flags soonerWhy a sex break often leads to better sexHow to be more intentional once you start having sex againThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2548-alexa🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, pleasure expert, and the Handjob Queen herself, Ashley Manta (@cannasexual), for the most comprehensive handjob episode ever recorded, all from the middle of the Ionian Sea aboard a Desire Cruise.Together, they dive into Ashley’s entire sexual evolution, her journey into sex education, her non-monogamous love story, and her insanely detailed handjob techniques that go way beyond the basics. This episode is part sex education masterclass, part storytelling, part technique demonstration and entirely iconic.We cover:How Ashley de-centered penetration in her relationships and learned to prioritize warm-up, touch, and manual stimulationWhy she prefers clitoral stimulation with fingers over any vibrator / oralSquirting vs orgasm: why they’re different experiences and how Ashley experiences bothHandjobs in cars, the “blowjobs for rides” era, and giving a handjob in a DHL truckWorking at a sex shop and learning techniques from experts like Reid Mihalko, Ducky Doolittle, Tristan Taormino, and moreHer decade of learning technique through sex parties, workshops, and hands-on practiceThe “toxic tantra boyfriend” who was incredible at sex but emotionally manipulativeHow handjobs became Ashley’s specialty and why she teaches them professionallyUsing partners as “live demos” during workshopsHer handjob philosophy: connection, breathwork, presence, pressure, rhythm, and affirmationHow to handle soft cocks, why softness is normal, and how to help someone relax into arousalWhy lube is non-negotiable, why Ashley prefers silicone lube, and her love for the baby bottle warmer hackCircumcised vs uncircumcised penis techniques and what adjustments matterFull techniques breakdownWhy Ashley doesn’t enjoy giving blowjobs (TMJ + dislike of cum), and how she clearly makes up for itOutsourcing BJ duties during group play thanks to her and Nick’s non-monogamous dynamicAnal play safety and boundaries: how Nick discovered he loves anal, how they explored it safely, and hygiene must-knowsThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of the groundbreaking bestseller She Comes First, He Comes Next, and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. They talk about why his 2004 classic is still changing bedrooms two decades later, how the clitoris remains misunderstood, and what makes sex truly great.We discuss:- Why She Comes First is still a global bestseller 21 years later- ⁠The science of the clitoris and its internal structures- Why all orgasms are clitoral — and what “outercourse” really means- Why penetration-only sex leads to bad sex and performance anxiety- The most common sexual problems heterosexual couples face today- How to shift from intercourse-focused sex to pleasure-focused sex- Why rhythm and persistence are essential for clitoral stimulation- Why novelty helps early on but routine deepens connection- How rushing and orgasm-chasing have ruined slow sex- The differences between male and female arousal cycles- ⁠The three assurances every giver should offer during oral sex- Why enthusiasm is the sexiest thing a partner can show- How women’s insecurities (“I’m taking too long,” “Do I smell?”) block pleasure- Why giving oral sex might be the key to your erection problemsAn unfiltered, intimate conversation about why She Comes First is still essential reading and how better sex starts with slowing down, getting curious, and caring more.Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Amanda Dames, the kink consultant and sex & relationship coach, for a deep dive into the world of kink — from power dynamics and negotiation to choking, bondage, chastity, and aftercare. Amanda, a former dominatrix and current coach for couples and individuals, breaks down how to safely explore desire, communicate boundaries, and find confidence in both dominance and submission.We discuss:What a kink consultant actually does and how Amanda works with couples and individualsHow to talk about kink and start negotiating scenes with a partnerThe concept of core desires: what drives your kinks on a deeper levelPower exchange and why it’s one of the most common and misunderstood kinksHow to safely practice choking and the difference between sides and trachea pressureHow to create and close a scene, use safe words, and practice aftercareThe difference between a kink and a fetish (and why fantasizing isn’t cheating)What to do when one partner is kinky and the other isn’tThe importance of curiosity, consent, and mutual care in exploring desiresWhy choking porn shouldn’t be banned, it should be taught safelyHow to avoid nerve damage in bondage and the importance of safety scissorsHow to transition between dominance and submission when you’re a switchWhy chastity for men is on the rise and what makes it excitingThe realities of power play, punishment, and controlWhat good aftercare looks like: from cuddling to next-day check-insWhy communication before, during, and after sex prevents harm and deepens connectionThe role of negotiation, consent, and enthusiasm in every sceneWhy more women should take control in bed and why more men should learn to be submissiveHow lingerie, pegging, and roleplay are more common (and fun) than people thinkAmanda’s fetish for being punished and how fantasy enhances orgasm

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@⁠sexwithalexa⁠)⁠ sits on the couch with Robyn Silber⁠ — a former Google software engineer who slept with 70 men in 10 months and then realized she’s asexual. Robyn opens up about her “slut era,” sexual health, discovering demisexuality, navigating autism and dating, and why she’s now working to help lonely men build real connection.We talk about:Dating younger men and having 70 sexual partners in her first 10 months in NYCSexual health: chlamydia, BV, yeast infections, UTIs, and learning to advocate for herselfWhy only ~5 of 70 partners made her orgasm and how she wasn’t asking for pleasureThe difference between physical attraction and real sexual desireHow asexuality doesn’t mean low libido or lack of masturbationHer current relationship: emotional connection, sensuality, and slow intimacyWhy everyone should have a “slut era” and what to keep in mindHer idea to launch an online support group for men who aren’t getting laidThe male loneliness crisis and how empathy can rebuild connectionWhy men should focus on friendship, hobbies, and social skills before dating

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Haley Jakobson, author of Old Enough, bisexual Dream Girl, and OCD Princess, to talk about friendship, therapy, OCD, and sex. Haley opens up about how her OCD has shaped her relationships, sexuality, creative life and how vulnerability and repair have transformed her friendships and intimacy.We discuss:The importance of friendship and why it can be even more transformative than romantic loveLearning to fight and repair conflict with friends instead of avoiding itFriendship breakups, grief, and when to let go vs. when to repairHow attachment styles (anxious vs. avoidant) affect friendships and conflictThe parallels between romantic and platonic relationship skillsNavigating OCD, intrusive thoughts, and relationship anxietySexual shame, low libido, and reconnecting with desire during recoveryThe impact of COVID on libido, self-pleasure, and intimacyHow OCD and anxiety affect sexual intimacy and self-imageLearning to find satisfaction without pressure to perform sexuallyHaley’s upcoming novel Cave Girl and the story behind its titleThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/pd2540-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Nina Divina, Mama Muse and founder of Haus of Muse, for a powerful and playful conversation about confidence, burlesque, sensuality, and how to be the main character in your sex life.We talk about:What “cunt is an energy” really means and how to embody itOvercoming body image struggles and learning to love your reflectionHow to be the main character in your sex life and in everyday lifeThe power of adopting a persona to boost confidenceWhy teasing is the most underrated form of foreplayTeasing vs. flirting — and how anticipation makes everything hotterBuilding sexual confidence through self-love and self-touchReconnecting with your sensuality after losing itThe importance of breathing, eye contact, and connection before sexHow “fake it till you make it” and “delulu is the solulu” actually workStretching, sensual movement, and small daily rituals to feel sexy againWhy confidence, play, and teasing make sex better for everyone🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2540-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jeff Perla, host of Oh Dear I’m Queer, for a candid, funny, and unfiltered conversation about queer sex, dating, and intimacy. We discuss:Morning hookups, blowjob confessions, and the idea of “nut clarity”Seeing Jeff's nudes & live reactionsSnapchat vs. Instagram, hookup apps, and why Jeff made hoe cards while Alexa makes hoe friendship bracelets Bold ways of flirting IRLFire Island and Hamptons stories, including Jeff’s secret hookup with “Chad,” a DL late-blooming bi guySex toys, magic wands, vibrating cock rings, and why toys aren’t just for womenGay hookup culture, Grindr chats, and whether there’s really a “top shortage”Therapy insights: Jeff wants to settle down and went to therapy to see if he's the problemBi men in gay spaces, biphobia, and the fear of being “left for a woman”Girls’ gays vs. gays’ gays, and the tension over women in gay barsEating disorders, body image, intermittent fasting, and gay pool party pressuresOpen relationships, monogamy fears, and rules like “our bed is our bed”Family dynamics, supportive siblings, grandma’s vibrator advice, and parents learning about OnlyFansWhat makes a “pretty dick,” hygiene, cut vs. uncut, and why enthusiasm matters most in oral sexGrindr bios, faceless profiles, and navigating hookup app etiquetteThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexa 🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram! www.patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Ali Weiss, New York native, host of Tales of Taboo and unapologetic oversharer, for a raw conversation about rejection, vulnerability, and why we’re all obsessed with the forbidden.A funny, honest, and deeply relatable episode on being human, craving connection, and owning your messy truth, why rejection stings less when you know yourself, and how vulnerability can be both a calling and a curse. Ali opens up about running her anonymous confessions podcast, burnout, parasocial relationships, and why taboos like sex work and drug dealing deserve compassion instead of judgment.Other topics we cover:The complicated relationship with oversharing and boundariesWhy rejection isn’t the end of the world, and how to approach people IRLThe obsession with being a “clean girl” vs embracing messinessWhy taboo fascinates us and how it secretly connects us allFriendships that go deeper than relationshipsLearning to accept yourself so you can handle rejection and find real connection👉 Support the podcast and get bonus content on Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed with Vee, co-host of Girls Gone Deep and almost-certified somatic sex and relationship coach, for a juicy conversation all about sexual fantasies.We cover:Why fantasies are so important for a fulfilling sex lifeThe difference between fantasies you should keep in your head vs. the ones you might want to bring to lifeVee’s wildest fulfilled fantasies (from MFM threesomes to DVPs and even public play at Broadway)What it’s really like to plan a gangbang (and why you might not want to force it)How shame around our bodies, vulvas, and desires can hold us back — and how to push through itFantasies that should stay fantasies (monster-fucking, Khaleesi worship scenes, etc.)The role of community and how to find people who will help make your fantasies a realityFantasies that grow out of childhood wounds, trauma, or praise/degradation kinksHow to actually ask for what you want and deal with rejectionTools for couples and individuals to explore fantasies safely (even if they never leave your imagination)It’s raw, personal, and full of both funny and vulnerable stories — from getting DVPed on a cruise to being worshipped by multiple partners at once. If you’ve ever wondered where fantasies come from, how to share them without shame, or how to make them happen in real life, this is your guide.💋 Support the show on Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes, and more at patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexa 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified sexologist and Wonderlust founder Natassia Miller for a deep dive into one of the most common struggles in relationships: mismatched desire.We break down why sex can get boring in long-term relationships, why the honeymoon phase always fades, and how to actually reignite passion with your partner. From exploring fantasies to reducing the mental load, this episode is a roadmap for couples who feel like they’re not having enough sex — or not the kind of sex they really want.We talk about:Why desire always shifts after the honeymoon phaseThe role of new relationship energy and why it fadesHow mismatched desire shows up in nearly every coupleWhy foreplay is more than just sex — it’s in the daily detailsThe importance of “I statements” vs. blaming your partnerHow mental load kills desire, especially for womenThe power of non-sexual touch and small moments of intimacyWhy women get bored faster in monogamy — and what to do about itHow to bring up bad or boring sex without crushing your partner’s egoThe role of masturbation in keeping connection aliveIntroducing novelty, fantasy and kink safely with your partnerTools like intimacy card decks to make sexual communication easierWhen to see a professional and how one session can change everything👉 If you loved this episode and want to support the show, join my Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes chats, and extra Q&As: patreon.com/sexwithalexa.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Elle Chase (@theellechase), certified life coach, sexologist, sexuality educator, author, and one of the most respected voices in the body acceptance and body neutrality movement. Together, they unpack how body image affects intimacy, relationships, and the ability to feel sexy in your own skin.In this episode, we dive into:The difference between body love and body neutralityBaby steps to start feeling sexy when you don’t love your bodyHow body image influences desire and long-term passionBuilding connection through touch, intimacy, and skin hungerWhy self-compassion and communication matter more than confidenceHow to reframe sex as connection, not performanceFor unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes on my own dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram, join my Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2532-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Laura Desirée — absolute stranger, intimacy coordinator and pleasure educator — for an unforgettable conversation about how sex, grief, and shame shape our identities.In this episode, we dive into:What intimacy coordinators actually do on film sets and why they make sex scenes better, not worseWhy Hollywood has failed at portraying female pleasure and how it should look insteadThe messy overlap of grief and sex and how pleasure can become healingThe role of kink in teaching care, communication, and boundariesLaura’s experience as an identical twin and how sex became her path to self-discoveryOwning shame, embracing vulnerability, and why our “messiest” moments can make us closer to othersA hilariously human story of intimacy, trust, and… running out of toilet paperLaura’s raw honesty and fearless approach to sex and pleasure will make you rethink how you see intimacy, on screen and in your own life.✨ For more uncensored conversations, bonus clips, and behind-the-scenes stories, join me on Patreon.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Gabriella Scaringe, founder of Cherri, to explore sexuality and vulvas in the real world — pubic hair trends, labia diversity, harmful language we’ve internalized, and how better design (hello, wide-gusset underwear and swim) can change how we feel in our bodies. We get specific about what actually shows up in everyday life (the “bulge,” the “lip slip”), why that’s normal, and how to shop for pieces that fit and feel good.What we cover:Pubic hair culture now vs. then: why the bush is back, personal preferences (including during oral), and how “cleanliness” isn’t about being hairless.Language that harms: the “pastrami vulva” era, innie/outie shame, and how those jokes warp body image.Vulva diversity 101: long inner labia are common; symmetry isn’t the standard; vulvas are supposed to be visible sometimes under clothes.The “bulge” discourse: when someone called out a “bulge” in a swimsuit pic and Gabriella’s clap-back — it was her vulva. Why visibility ≠ indecency.What “lip slip” really means and how design solves for it (without erasing your shape).Gusset realities: the industry’s average ~2.5" gusset vs. Cherri’s wider cuts (e.g., a 4" gusset on an XS G-string) and why width, placement, and size-inclusive fit matter.Behind the brand: insights from Cherri’s 5,000+-person survey of vulva owners, fit testing across sizes, and why styles take time to release.Hygiene myths we’re done with: hair does not equal dirty; vulvas have scent; how to care without over-stripping your skin.Body neutrality vs. “love your body”: moving from harm to comfort first, confidence as a practice, and giving yourself permission to pick what feels good.Shopping smarter: what to look for in undies and swim (gusset width, rise, fabric, coverage options) and letting comfort lead.Our own stories: growing up through the era of hairless ideals, changing tastes, and why embracing “real” bodies feels so freeing.🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2532-alexa 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back with another deep dive into the world of dating, this time with award-winning sex educator and ghostwriter Connie Collins (@thefirstdatediaries). We explore the state of relationships today and reveal what keeps people stuck in situationships and unhappy. It’s often not about your dating profile or messaging speed, but deeper issues like fear of vulnerability and emotional shutdowns.We cover:- Understanding sexuality and how to discover what you truly want in relationships.- Recognizing emotional availability and its impact on your dating experience.- The loneliness of pretending you're okay with casual dating when you’re not- The pressure to be chill, cool and detached and why that hurts us more than it helps- The concept of “pussy economics” and why your access is valuable- Real red flags we ignore and green flags we mistake for red flags.👉 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes takes on my personal dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram. Go to patreon.com/sexwithalexa to get in.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed for another season and she’s kicking things off with adult film icon Small Hands (Aaron Thompson). From monogamy and marriage to aftercare and emotional intimacy on set, Aaron shares what it's really like to live a life of performance — and what happens when the cameras stop rolling. We get deep on female pleasure, working with Owen Gray, porn myths, and how to separate real connection from performative sex. If you’ve ever wondered what love looks like when sex is your job, this one’s for you.In this episode, we talk about:how porn shaped Aaron’s real-life relationshipswhat it's like to be monogamous while working in the adult industrythe emotional aftermath of performing sex on camerawhether it's really possible to have sex without catching feelingshow to separate intimacy from performanceAaron’s recent divorce and what it taught himhis take on aftercare and why it's necessary in pornhow he advocates for female pleasure in a male-driven industrywhat it's like working with Owen Gray and the hype around himhis thoughts on what sex acts are overrated vs underratedwhat porn gets right and wrong about real desire🎧 Love the pod? Support me on Patreon! You’ll get unedited episodes, bonus stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram: patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-july 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Beth Sparksfire — the Queen of Hacienda, New York’s legendary sex-positive community and party scene.Together, we dive deep into how to be a thoughtful, respectful, and unforgettable sex party guest. Whether you’re a first-timer or looking to level up, Beth shares the real dos and don'ts from her years curating erotic experiences.We cover:What to know before attending your first sex partyHow to navigate consent, conversation, and energyWhy curiosity is sexy, but entitlement isn'tWhat not to do when you're naked in publicThe importance of aftercare — even at play partiesCreating safer, queerer, more intentional spacesHow Hacienda became the gold standard for sex-positive events✨ As always, the unedited version of this episode — plus more about my personal dating life, spicy stories, and access to my Close Friends on IG — is on Patreon!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Birna Gustafsson, sex educator with a master's in public health and host of Explicit Studies, to talk about the sea of sexual misinformation we’re constantly swimming in—and how to get better at spotting it.Together, they bust myths that still circulate widely online (even in sex-positive spaces) and explore how shame, purity culture, and bad science shape our sexual health beliefs.Expect to learn:The actual failure rate of pulling out and why it’s riskier than you thinkWhy douching is unnecessary—and can be harmfulWhether you can get pregnant on your period (hint: you can)The truth about HPV, oral sex, and throat cancerWhy orgasms aren’t the only marker of “good sex”The dangers of black-and-white sex advice on social mediaHow kids are absorbing harmful beliefs from TikTok, porn & uninformed adultsWhy pegging can turn men into better lovers 👀Why we must improve sex ed for healthcare professionalsHow to know if your sex advice source is trustworthyBirna also shares how she's helping train nurses and midwives to better support patients with inclusive, evidence-based sex education. Plus: her favorite sex ed resources, books, and where to go if you're ready to learn the truth.✨ Want more? Unedited episodes, Alexa's personal dating stories, and her IG Close Friends are all on Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-july 

In this very juicy and educational episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jamie Joy, a queer, trans certified sex educator and full-blown fisting aficionado. We dive deep (literally and figuratively) into the world of fisting, from how to prep and practice it safely to the surprising aftercare and emotional intensity it can carry.We also discuss:How to prep for fisting (from hygiene to headspace)Differences between vaginal and anal fistingSafety tips, including glove use, nails, and douchingWhy fisting is more emotional and intimate than you’d thinkWhat to do if you're curious about trying itDebunking myths about poop, pain, and gay panicThe role of breath, communication, and pleasure in anal playThe stigma around anal play—especially for straight menJamie's favorite techniques and their own mold of their fist (yes, really!)You can check out more of Jamie's work here!🌈 New to the pod? Subscribe, rate & leave us a review. And if you want unedited episodes + a peek into my personal dating and sex life, join us on Patreon. You’ll also get added to my IG Close Friends list 💌Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-june

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Thea Rose, host of Seggs Talk Radio and founder of a new STI testing startup, to talk about what it really takes to build a sex-positive business—from scratch, with heart, and without losing your mind.Thea opens up about her messy, honest path as a multi-hyphenate creator, how she juggles podcasting, launching companies, and staying grounded through burnout, ADHD, OnlyFans, and entrepreneurship in a taboo space. If you've ever wondered what it actually takes to build something sustainable in the sexual wellness world—this one's for you.We get into:How to actually niche down without losing your voice or creativityWhy your “little business” deserves as much celebration as a wedding or babyHow to recover when your audience isn't aligned (and why starting fresh matters)The role of risk-taking in entrepreneurship (and how it shows up in the bedroom)Launching an OnlyFans Why being passionate about your work matters more than the moneySex-positive branding, burnout, and building your dream audienceThe cost of being underestimated as a woman in businessChoosing to celebrate yourself in your own wayCraving more intimacy—even in a city full of peopleWhy we have to break away from traditional life milestones💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-june

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Allie Hoffman, founder of Catch The Feels—a viral in-person dating experience helping people ditch dating apps and reconnect with their bodies, emotions, and intuition.We dive deep into Allie’s groundbreaking “four systems of knowing” and how we can use the body, emotions, thoughts, and inner truth to date with more clarity and self-trust. Allie opens up about falling for poly men while being deeply monogamous, breaking her pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable partners, and how her body often speaks louder than her mind when it comes to sex and relationships.We also discuss:How to spot the difference between ego and intuitionWhy we keep falling for unavailable people (and how to stop)Her practice of using orgasmic energy for sex magicThe truth about dating apps and why they’re keeping us stuckHow to “own your erotic map” and be okay with your identity—whether you’re queer, kinky, monogamous or none of the aboveHow The Feels was born and what really happens at her IRL dating eventsWhy being open to love is the bravest thing you can doSex, breakups, and learning to hear your body say “no”How to break your patterns and stop ignoring red flags just because the sex is good💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined once again by photographer, ethical slut, and emotionally available king Matthew Kayman for a raw and wildly entertaining deep dive into threesomes, pegging, vasectomies, and how men can do better in sex and relationships.We go deep about what it means to unlearn toxic masculinity and embrace a more present, consensual, and pleasure-focused approach to sex. Matt opens up about getting pegged for the first time, navigating group sex with intention, and why he chose to get a vasectomy—and how it’s impacted his confidence and partnerships.We also unpack:Why pegging changed how he shows up as a top and partnerTips for navigating MFM threesomes with care and curiosityHow to explore dominant and submissive roles without egoThe mental and physical realities of getting a vasectomy (and why you should get one!)How to communicate during casual sex without killing the vibeManaging a sex-positive roster (with check-ins!)The difference between protective and possessive behaviorFriendship with exes, emotional responsibility, and being a grown-ass slut🎁 BONUS SCENE: Stick around for a surprise scene with Mario Cruz, recorded onboard the spicy Desire Cruise, where we talk about spooning, swinging, and everything in between.💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with NYC-based photographer, ethical slut, and reformed cheater Matthew Kayman for an honest, reflective, and hilarious conversation about evolving from messy dating patterns to intentional, kink-informed, and transparent relationships.We unpack his shift from monogamy to polyamory, navigating play parties, unlearning toxic masculinity, and figuring out how to explore power dynamics while remaining ethical and emotionally available.✨ In this episode, we talk about:How Matthew realized he wasn’t dating ethically—and what changed thatHis transition into ethical non-monogamy and what it taught him about himselfTips for flirting, FaceTime pre-dates, and dating apps that don’t suckPower dynamics in dating, and how kink helped him explore both dom & sub rolesGroup sex, queer curiosity, and learning how to communicate mid-orgySlutty shame, hot guy privilege, and navigating softness in hookup cultureWhy it’s not just about consent, but context and careLessons from play parties, switching, and setting expectations with new partnersThis is an episode about dating better—not perfectly, but with curiosity, compassion, and accountability.💌 Want more? On Patreon, you’ll get the unedited version of this episode, behind-the-scenes tea on my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-may 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by sex educator, performer, and self-proclaimed “dildo slinger” Dirty Lola (@dirtylola) for a raw and hilarious conversation about shame, sex, and self-acceptance.From growing up in a naked household to navigating deep religious trauma, Lola shares the journey of becoming a fearless advocate for shameless pleasure and body confidence. We get into:Her early sex-positive explorations and yes—high school sex parties!The complex layers of body image, fatphobia, and family shameHow shame shows up in our sex lives and what to do about itWhy orgasms don’t equal worth, and how to stop performative sexWhat she’s learned about micropenises, penis shame, and making pleasure work for everyoneHow to start loving your body—even before it’s your “goal body”Tips on letting go of external validation and dressing for YOUAging, menopause, and staying slutty at every stage of lifeHow to be a better partner by showing up with kindness and complimentsThis episode is brought to you by Splash Blanket - the world’s most luxurious waterproof blanket.  Feel more free and liberated in the bedroom with code ALEXA😏 Want to hear more behind the scenes? On Patreon, you’ll find the unedited version of this episode, stories from my personal dating life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Catherine Drysdale—sex & relationship coach—who’s on a mission to help women and femmes unlearn the “good girl” scripts that keep them small, quiet, and out of touch with their desires.We talk about:• What “good girl conditioning” really means and how it shows up in our lives• The difference between Good Girl Conditioning and being a "good girl" in a power dynamic• The pressure to be nice, palatable, and liked (and how that impacts our relationships and sex lives)• Why so many of us have trouble asking for what we want—especially in bed• The link between patriarchy and the fear of being “too much”• How to begin reclaiming your voice, your wants, and your power• Ways to get comfortable with discomfort, especially when it comes to setting boundaries• Rewriting your relationship with shame, worthiness, and sexual expressionThis is a permission slip to take up space and live more fully, more loudly, and more authentically.✨ At the end of the episode, we also chat about how this work spills into dating, communication, and how to support other women on the same journey.🎧 Plus! Don’t forget to check out my Patreon where I share the unedited version of this episode, updates on my dating and sex life, and give members access to my Close Friends on Instagram.Thank you, Beducated, for sponsoring this episode and making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-may 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back onboard the Temptation Cruise!In this episode, Alexa reconnects with Mario Cruz, Cruise Director for Temptation Cruises, to dive even deeper into what makes a lifestyle-friendly cruise such a unique, exciting, and welcoming experience.Recorded live from the February 2025 sailing, we chat about:How Temptation Cruises create a safe, respectful, and fun environment for all guestsTips for first-timers: how to navigate nerves, set boundaries, and make connectionsDebunking common myths about swinger and lifestyle cruisesThemed nights, play areas, workshops, and how to make the most of the onboard eventsHow privacy and discretion are prioritized for every guestHow these cruises can open doors to self-discovery and new adventuresThe difference between Temptation and Desire Cruises (and which might be a better fit for you!)Funny, surprising behind-the-scenes stories from working onboard✨ PLUS: Alexa and Mario invite YOU to join the next Temptation Cruise this November 2025! Whether you're new to the lifestyle or just looking for a sexy, judgment-free vacation, this could be your next adventure.🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Alex Fine, educator, activist, parent and founder of the pleasure-forward brand Dame, to talk about how to find the sex toy that actually works for you—and how to confidently use it, whether you're flying solo or playing with a partner.Alex shares how Dame is redefining pleasure with intentional, inclusive design, and we get into how to move past shame, communicate your needs, and create sexy experiences that center your pleasure.Whether you’re new to toys or looking to level up, we’ve got guidance on how to explore in ways that feel exciting, not overwhelming.✨ In this episode, we cover:How to choose a toy based on your anatomy and what you likeTips for using toys with a partner without making it weird or performativeHow to bring up toys with a partner if they’re nervous or skepticalThe difference between clitoral, vaginal, anal, and blended stimulation—and toys for eachHow to care for your toys so they last (and stay safe to use)Debunking myths like “you’ll get addicted to your vibrator”How Dame is shaking up the industry with body-safe, beautifully designed productsThe role of design in enhancing your pleasure and creating easeMasturbation as a form of self-connection and stress reliefWhy you don’t have to “fix” anything—pleasure isn’t a performanceSuing the MTA so they could advertise on the subwayThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-april 🎧 Unedited episodes, my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram? It’s all on Patreon

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with bisexual writer, sex expert, and chaos king Zachary Zane for a juicy episode all about how to suck dick like a pro. Whether you’re a total beginner, looking to level up your skills, or just love talking about pleasure—we’ve got you covered.Zach shares his most helpful tips, wildest stories, and hard-earned wisdom from both personal and professional experience. We talk technique, confidence, communication, and why good oral isn’t just about what your mouth is doing—but also how present, excited, and connected you are.In this episode, we discuss:How to make oral feel incredible with your mouth and your whole bodyDeepthroating 101: tips, angles, breathing, and how to stay in controlWhat makes a blowjob feel intimate (even when it’s casual)How to avoid jaw fatigue and still make it look/feel amazingCommon mistakes people make when giving oral to penis-haversThe power of eye contact, vocal feedback, and enthusiasmCommunication tips—how to ask for direction without killing the moodThe difference between porn blowjobs and what people actually wantWhat to do if you're nervous, insecure, or don’t love giving oral (yet)How Zachary’s bisexuality influences his approach to pleasureThe importance of mutual pleasure and making oral a two-way experienceThis episode is informative, hot, and actually helpful—no shame, no judgment, just real talk about how to become a more generous, confident, and attuned lover.Thank you Fantasia for being a sponsor on today's episode. Check out fantasiatoy.online to see what your fantasy feels like!✨ Unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes of my dating & sex life, and access to my close friends list on Instagram available on Patreon

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with world-renowned sex educator and author Kenneth Play to talk all things oral sex on vulvas—techniques, mindset, communication, and pleasure-maximizing strategies. Known for his viral videos, global workshops, and author of Beyond Satisfied, Kenneth breaks down how anyone can become a more confident and skillful oral lover—no magic tongue required.In this episode, we discuss:The most common mistakes people make when going down on someoneHow to build confidence if you feel awkward or unsureKenneth’s signature “sex hacking” approach and why it worksThe anatomy of pleasure: why understanding the clitoris is essentialWhy going slow is underrated and how to read your partner’s body cuesCommunication tips that don’t kill the vibeTechniques for different sensations: flicking, sucking, pressure, and moreHow to involve your hands, body, and breath for maximum connectionTips for anyone struggling to orgasm from oral stimulationWhat Kenneth learned from working with thousands of vulva ownersBusting myths about what “good oral” looks likeHow to prioritize pleasure over performanceKenneth’s top tips for becoming a more intuitive, generous loverWhether you’re new to oral or want to refine your technique, this episode is full of real, actionable tips that can immediately change your sex life.✨ Unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes of my dating & sex life, and access to my close friends list on Instagram available on Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/alexa-april 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with writer and relationship expert Hayley Folk to talk about an unconventional but increasingly popular relationship setup: living separately from your partner. Why do some people thrive in separate spaces? What are the benefits and challenges? And is this a better setup for non-monogamous relationships?We also dive into one of Hayley’s most viral Cosmopolitan articles—what to do with your ex’s nudes. Should you keep them? Delete them? Ask permission? And is it really wrong to revisit them from time to time?Plus, we discuss what it’s like navigating relationships as a queer person, how queerness plays a role in her job and personal life, and why non-monogamy can feel so natural in queer spaces. Hayley also shares her experiences at sex parties—how they’ve helped her feel empowered as a woman and what she’s learned from attending them.Why more couples are choosing to live apartThe pros and cons of maintaining separate spacesHow non-monogamy fits into the equationHow to set clear boundaries and expectationsThe debate around keeping your ex’s nudes—what’s ethical?How queerness plays into relationships, non-monogamy, and intimacyHayley’s personal experiences at sex parties and why they make her feel empoweredHow past relationships shape how we handle intimacyThis episode is for anyone questioning traditional relationship norms and looking for fresh perspectives on love, space, queerness, and digital boundaries.🔥 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!