Being "Nice" is Ruining Your Life | #114 episode artwork

EPISODE · Jan 19, 2026 · 1H 5M

Being "Nice" is Ruining Your Life | #114

from Secondhand Therapy · host PonyBear Studios

Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.comBetterHelp:If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/The Maca Team:Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapypromo code: bearcub for 10% offLight Phone:Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymnpromo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III______Why is it so hard to say “I don’t know”? Why does being liked feel like survival?In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack people-pleasing, fear of failure, and the invisible ways our parents shape our inner critic. One host shares what therapy is revealing about his need to be “nice,” his terror of messing up, and how his relationship with his mother quietly programmed his fear of rejection.We talk about:People-pleasing as a trauma responseFear of failure and perfectionismWhy being “nice” blocks real connectionFeelings vs facts (and the stories we tell ourselves)Productivity as a substitute for self-worthLearning to say no without guiltWanting your parent to be more — and turning that disappointment inwardThis episode explores how abandonment fear, emotional control, and self-worth get tangled together — and what it looks like to start unlearning those patterns in real time.We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking honestly about what we’re learning.If you struggle with people-pleasing, approval-seeking, fear of being disliked, or feeling like you’re never enough, this episode will hit close to home.BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected] Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypodContact us: [email protected] 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105  Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

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Being "Nice" is Ruining Your Life | #114

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