Better Listening Starts With Better Questions

Most of us think good listening means staying quiet. But great listeners do something else as well—they ask better questions.When someone is struggling, it's natural to want to offer advice, share our own experience, or tell them what we think they should do. But what if, instead of giving another answer, we asked another question?In this episode, I explore one of the most powerful listening skills I know: Ask, Don't Tell. Drawing on compassion, motivational interviewing, and over 25 years of clinical psychology, I'll show you how turning advice into thoughtful questions can help people discover their own wisdom, strengthen relationships, and create deeper, more meaningful conversations.You'll also learn a practical framework of eight different question types—from opening and exploring questions through to strength, possibility and commitment questions—that you can start using immediately in everyday life, whether you're a parent, partner, friend, leader, coach, therapist or simply someone who wants to listen more compassionately.If you've ever wondered how to become a better listener, it might start with asking better questions.Timestamps:00:00 A childhood question I never forgot00:50 Why good questions matter so much01:30 Ask, don't tell: a simple listening shift02:28 Turning advice into thoughtful questions03:22 The motivational interviewing mindset04:19 Open versus closed questions05:34 Eight question types for better listening05:52 Opening, exploring and clarifying questions06:47 Perspective and balancing questions07:27 Strength, possibility and commitment questions08:51 Avoiding advice disguised as questions09:36 The quiet power of curiosityLinks:If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/pCJN49ez_Mw*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags:listening, listeningskills, communicationskills, motivationalinterviewing, compassion, psychology